AN: OK, this is number four…I think…
It's really funny working from notes like this because you realize as you write how much you thought you'd put in that you don't, how much you didn't intend to happen that does. You have a plan, but the plan only gets you so far before the story just keeps doing what it's going to do.
Here goes, though. Thank you all for your feedback so far! By the way, your Daryl comments are pretty much cracking me up right now. LOL
I hope you enjoy!
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Carol switched off the alarm on her nightstand. She couldn't really say that she woke up since that would imply that she'd been sleeping, and she hadn't done much of that. She reached over and wrapped her arm around Lincoln, tugging him toward her. The dog responded in pretty much the only way that he could and he rolled over, his feet in the air, offering her his belly to rub. At least she knew that he was sleeping because he snored louder than she thought a dog of his stature could.
Carol lie there a moment, groaning into the side of the dog's face while he lie on his back and patiently awaited the belly rub that he thought she had rolled him over for.
It was the fourth morning that she woke up without Daryl there, the fourth morning that she hadn't had any contact with him at all and it was killing her. She couldn't wrap her mind around how he could just disappear like he did, but it seemed like he had.
Clearly, he couldn't just vanish, but he'd gone to Merle and Andrea's and that was where he was staying. Carol had tried calling, but he wouldn't take the calls. She'd even gone over there once, but Merle had said that Andrea wasn't home and Daryl didn't want to see anyone. What had hurt most was that she'd known that anyone in this case was code for her.
Carol asked Andrea what was going on and if she had any indication what she'd done or how to undo it, but Andrea had responded by telling her that Daryl was freaked out by all the change and that he'd made the near fatal mistake of listening to Merle and apparently thinking that anything that Merle said had some merit to it.
Carol got out of bed, scratching Lincoln's belly for a second so the poor thing didn't look at her like he was as heartbroken as she felt. She had to work at Lula's Diner today and it was the last damn thing she wanted to do. She'd been dragging herself through the last few days simply trying to go hour by hour somehow figure out what she might do to change things.
Carol washed her face and looked in the mirror. There wasn't really much hiding how she felt about the situation. Anyone who wasn't legally blind should be able to tell that crying was of high priority and sleeping was of very low priority in her world at the moment. This entire thing with Daryl had her about as stressed as she could remember being in a very long time and it was taking its toll on her.
She chuckled a little at her reflection in the mirror and went about getting dressed for work. Everything that she'd been through with Ed, all the mess that had been her life and she wanted to kick herself for letting Daryl get to her like this. This wasn't who she wanted to be any more than the woman who had stared back at her with black eyes and busted lips all those years. She'd put up with so much and now here she was stressed beyond belief over another man, to the point that she was allowing the stress to take a physical effect on her body.
Carol didn't bother combing her hair out. She ran her fingers through the curls on her way to the kitchen and otherwise figured it would be fine. It wasn't like it was going to do anything spectacular anyway and she was working at Lula's Diner, not trying to win some kind of Miss America pageant.
Carol was thankful that whoever had bought her a coffee pot got her one with a timer because the coffee was ready for her when she got there. She figured, if she was correct, that coffee was about all she'd been living off of for the past few days and she thought that by now if she didn't drink it she might anger some coffee god or something that might smash some other part of her life that she thought was going decently well.
Carol rattled the top of the cookie jar as she leaned on the counter and sipped out of her mug. Lincoln came running, probably confused because she hadn't let him out yet. She took one of the milk bones out of the jar and gave it to him and tucked it his mouth and looked at her like he was awaiting permission to eat it.
"You get one just for waking up, how's that?" She said to the dog. She walked to the door and let Lincoln out in the yard where he immediately sat down to eat his mysteriously earned treat before he started on his rounds.
Carol walked back to the window and looked out, mentally reminding herself to get her jacket because it was cold and she'd nearly frozen in Lula's the last time she was working. She finished about half the cup of coffee and headed back to the bedroom to get her shoes and brush her teeth. She figured she might as well head into work and get it over with so she could come home and ball up on the couch in her new customary position with Lincoln.
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"New customer," Jacqui said, still leaning on the bar. Carol was pretending to care about what she was doing and rearranging the pastries in the case, but mostly she was just wishing she could go home early. She considered telling Lula that she was sick and needed the rest of the day off. It wasn't entirely a lie…she did feel pretty sick…but having the day off wouldn't make it any better.
"You want me to get it?" Carol asked with very little enthusiasm.
"I don't feel like dealing with new people," Jacqui said. "You've got to make too much conversation and I'm not in the mood. If you'll take care of him I'll do all the sugar and the condiments today so you can leave earlier."
Carol knew that Jacqui was down because her mother wasn't doing very well and she'd been spending most of her time off work over at the home trying to look after her. Carol assumed that Jacqui's reason for being tired, antisocial, and in an overall bad mood trumped hers so she decided the offer was fair enough.
"I got it," Carol said with a sigh. She went around the counter and worked on trying to make her face perform the annoying act of smiling before she got to the table where the young man was sitting. He was a new face, and those just weren't all that common. "Welcome to Lula's Diner," Carol said, trying to be as perky as possible. "What can I get you to drink?"
The man looked around and then looked at her, smiling.
"I guess I'll just have a Coke," he said. "Where are the menus?"
Carol chuckled a little. A sure sign of a newcomer was that they expected a menu at Lula's.
"We don't have menus," Carol said.
The man looked befuddled. He laughed a little.
"I don't mean to sound dense, ma'am, but how am I supposed to know what I want to eat if I don't have a menu?" He asked.
"It's OK," Carol said. "I know, it's an odd practice. We hardly get anyone in here who hasn't been eating at Lula's since she just served one dish per meal. You didn't need a menu back then because you simply ate what was being served. Now our staff can pretty much handle anything, so if it's not too tricky you just order it and we get it to you."
The man chuckled again and shook his head a little.
"That's a whole lot of possibility," he said. "I might need me a minute or two to think on that one."
Carol smiled. The man was cute, and he was about the sunniest person that had come through the doors so far today.
"I'll get your Coke," she said. "You think on it and I'll be back in a minute."
The man nodded and Carol walked around back to fix his drink.
"Who is he?" Jacqui asked.
"Now how am I supposed to know that?" Carol asked, stopping with the foaming glass in her hand.
"Ask him," Jacqui said. "Haven't you lived in Sweet Junction long enough to know you don't pass up the opportunity to get the information on any new comers?"
"You're the one who didn't want the table," Carol reminded her.
"I don't want the table," Jacqui said. "I just want the information. Besides, the nicer you are to him the bigger the tip you get…and the more I find out about him. Not like there's anybody really in here to care about."
Carol glanced around the restaurant. At best the group that was there was a staggered group. The early lunch group was gone for the most part, a few of the late lunch group were finally eating, and one or two non-regular faces were mixed in the crowd. Everyone was served, and no one looked like they would have cared if Jacqui and Carol had both simply left the diner.
Carol circled back around and painted on her smile before reaching the table and putting the drink down. The man thanked her and she offered him a straw.
"No thanks," he said.
"So did you figure out what you would like?" Carol asked.
The young man sat back a moment, looking around. He smiled at her.
"If it wouldn't be too forward of me, I'd like to know your name," the man said.
Carol smiled.
"I'm Carol," she said. "We don't wear name tags either. In Sweet Junction everybody already knows you so it's not like you have to identify yourself."
The man chuckled.
"I'm Axel," he said. "And I'm not from Sweet Junction."
"You see," Carol said. "That I already knew. Welcome, Axel. What brought you here?"
"Transferred to the steel mill in the next town," Axel said.
"My grandfather worked there for over fifty years," Carol said.
"Not a bad living," Axel said. "I wasn't expecting to get transferred, but there was some whole big shift in management or something. So anyway, here I am now. They said there was some nice housing here and I've got a stipend just burning a hole in my pocket to get me out of motels. So I thought I'd come and check it out. There's a nice little development going in here."
Carol nodded.
"Yes there is. I just bought a house out there. I'm still getting good and settled in," she said.
"Really?" Axel asked. Carol nodded. "The prices seem fair. Are you happy with the house?"
Carol nodded.
"It's a great little house, it really is," she said.
"I talked to the man that's running the operation," Axel said. "Actually that's where I just come from. What's his name? Tyrell or something?"
"Tyreese," Carol said.
"Nice guy," Axel said. "Said they got some houses that are going to be ready within the week."
Carol nodded.
"I know him," she said. "He's dating one of my best friends."
"Small world," Axel said with a chuckle.
"Always is in Sweet Junction," Carol said.
"Well, I'm going to keep the place in mind. I looked at the houses, but you know how it is. It's always hard to tell if you'll like or not when it's partially put together and you can't imagine what it will actually be like with a week's worth of dishes in the sink and your dirty clothes piled up in the bathroom," Axel said, chuckling.
"Well if you're interested," Carol said, "I'd be happy to let you see my house sometime. I don't have that many dishes in the sink, but it's looking lived in. Tyreese would probably give you a tour of his too. He lives in the neighborhood."
"I didn't think to ask him about that," Axel said. "Might be a good idea to help me make up my mind. There's another subdivision going in near the mill, but I don't like the area very much. It's just not a nice town."
Carol shook her head. She knew the area well and she wouldn't want to live in it given pretty much any other option.
"No, it's not nearly as nice. You have more of a drive to work, but if you want a good neighborhood then it's worth it," Carol said.
Axel chuckled.
"Who knows," he said, "we might be neighbors before too long…I still got to think on it, though, before I go making any big decisions."
"I understand," Carol said. "Buying a house is a big deal…after all, I just did it. How about lunch? We'll start with small decisions first. What do you think you might want to eat?"
Axel shrugged.
"Honestly with all this housing mess I can't even think straight," he said. "What do you recommend?"
"Breakfast or lunch?" Carol asked.
Axel thought for a minute.
"Lunch," he said.
"Cheeseburger," Carol said. Axel smiled and nodded his head.
"If that's what the lady recommends, I'll give it a try," he said. "Your judgment on lunch might give me some insight into your judgment on housing."
Carol smiled at him and told him she'd be back with his order before disappearing around back to put it in.
"So?" Jacqui asked when Carol leaned against the counter to wait for the order to be prepared.
"His name is Axel and he's here with the steel mill. He's looking at houses in my development and he doesn't wash his dishes on a regular basis," Carol said, propping her head on her hand.
"That means he's single," Jacqui said. "And he's cute, too."
Carol rolled her eyes at Jacqui.
"And I don't care," she said.
"He was flirting with you," Jacqui said, smiling for the first time that morning.
"Don't care," Carol said.
"He's looking at houses…just like your house…in your neighborhood. You like the same kind of lifestyle," Jacqui said.
"Don't care," Carol singsonged back to her with the same general tone of voice.
"Did I mention he's cute?" Jacqui asked.
"Did I mention I don't care?" Carol responded.
Jacqui sighed.
"Mmm…mmmm…Carol," Jacqui said. "You've been a mess around her and for what? Some little boy that doesn't know when he's got a good thing? I hate to know you were woman enough to take your life back from Ed just to let some little jackass fuck it up again."
"Don't call him that," Carol said.
"That's exactly what I'm gonna call him," Jacqui said. "Until you can explain to me what's happening that doesn't sound like we're talking about a five year old who's mad about some paste in art class, that's what I'm going to call him."
Carol rolled her eyes. Although much of her was inclined to agree with Jacqui, and she felt sorry for the woman for having to listen to her complaints during nearly all of their downtime…which Lula's provided a good deal of…she didn't want anyone calling Daryl a jackass for this. She might think it, but she didn't want to hear it from others. Carol wasn't entirely sure what was wrong with Daryl or what she'd done to make him be done with her, but that aside she didn't think he was a jackass.
He probably had some insecurities…some issues. He hadn't had the best life and she probably hadn't been sensitive to something that he needed from her. She didn't know what had run him off, and she honestly didn't know if he'd ever be back, but she didn't hate him, and she didn't want others putting him down.
"He's not a jackass," Carol said.
"Then you tell me what to call him," Jacqui said.
Carol sighed. She heard the bell in the back ding to tell her to come for the plate.
"I don't know, Jacqui…I don't understand him well enough to know what to call him," Carol said. She went to the back and picked up the plate.
"Then I'm going to call him a confusing jackass," Jacqui said, leaning back on the counter and watching Carol. "I hope that's a little bit better."
Carol sighed and took the plate to Axel's table.
"Need anything else?" She asked.
Axel smiled at her and then looked around the table.
"I don't think so…" he said.
"Well you just let me know if you do," Carol said.
"Thanks, Carol, I'll do that," Axel said.
Carol nodded at him and went back around the counter where Jacqui was probably waiting to taunt her some more about the fact that she'd let Daryl get to her and make her feel the way she did. She could agree that it was ridiculous, but she wasn't sure that she knew how to get out of the slump. She thought that perhaps it was just all coming together. The stress about leaving Ed, the divorce and the drama, the new house, the big changes, and now the utter confusion over the very sudden and very unexpected end to what she thought was a good relationship. It was just too much for her.
"I can tell you one thing," Carol said when she took her place beside Jacqui again.
"What?" Jacqui asked.
"What I need is not another man in my life," Carol said. "What I need is drugs."
Jacqui chuckled.
"That's how they all go bad," Jacqui said.
"I'm serious," Carol said. "I was thinking about seeing about getting some anti-depressants or something. Something to get back on my feet. Once I'm over all this mess then I won't have to worry with them anymore. Or do you think that makes me sound crazy?"
Jacqui shook her head.
"When my father died I took some kind of happy pills for a while," Jacqui said. "I don't think it means you're crazy, I think it means you're sane enough to know when you don't feel like you should."
"Did they help?" Carol asked.
"They don't mend a broken heart, if that's what you're asking," Jacqui said. "You still gotta deal with that on your own, but they did help me with the not wanting to get out of bed in the morning feelings and with the moods where I didn't care if I ate or starved. They helped handle that so I could focus on the broken heart."
"That's about all I need then, I guess," Carol said. "Just something to make me focus on what I need to do to get over all this mess. Something to take some of the stress away."
"And if all else fails," Jacqui said, "there's always other alternatives."
Carol looked at her.
"I'm just saying that Miss Watkins out there has a very nice garden, and everyone in town likes to stop by and admire her greenhouses," Jacqui said.
Carol realized all too suddenly what the woman was suggesting.
"Jacqui! Are you serious? She's got to be a hundred years old!" Carol said.
Jacqui laughed.
"And the happiest old woman you'll ever see," Jacqui said. "Don't look so scandalized. I've seen your friend Andrea out there more than a time or two when I was paying a visit to the old lady. Go to the doctor, get your pills, but if they don't work…I know something else that will, and you still haven't stopped by my house to see my new projects."