It's finally here!
We've reached the end of Trust! I just want to thank you all for reading and reviewing and sticking by this story. This was my first Chicago PD story and you all were so encouraging and it has been so much fun to write this. I can't believe that it is actually over, and I'm so sad. I think this is actually the first story I have ever written where the main characters didn't have kids, which was what my intention was and was what I was trying to challenge myself to do.
I hope you all enjoy this chapter. It's the longest one of the series, which I hope makes up for the last couple chapters that were super short. This is the Linstead wedding, which we've all been waiting for and it took FOREVER to write. I tried to include all the important people from the story since this was pretty much the ending of Trust, so I hope I did it in a way that everyone enjoys.
Let me know your favorite parts of the wedding, least favorite parts of the wedding, what you think of Erin's and Jay's vows, and just tell me what you think in general! I want to hear your opinions!
Z: Zip Me
*Erin and Jay's wedding day finally arrives and neither of them could be happier.
Jay had always known that one day, when he found the right girl, he would get married. It had just been an unspoken thing that he had grown up with the knowledge of. His grandparents on his mom's side had always had the most amazing relationship. He could remember them always joking around with each other and being so in love until the day his grandfather died. His grandmother followed a few years later, but while she was still around, she had always reminded him how he needed to respect women and treat his future wife the way his grandfather had treated her. When he was younger, his own parents had always had a strong relationship and he knew that they loved each other, and even in the end, he knew his father loved his mother in his own way.
Growing up, Jay had had his share of relationships. He wasn't a ladies' man by any means, but there were a couple of girls. He could still remember his first girlfriend in the first grade and how they had played together on the playground during recess for a week before eventually drifting away from each other. He smiled now at the memory; he had been so naïve.
Will had gone through girlfriends like it was nothing. In high school, his brother had no respect for girls and he could still remember watching him break up with many of them. He had sat on their front porch and watched one girl run back to her car crying after Will had told her off and Jay had vowed then that he never wanted to be that person.
His only real relationship had been Allie Corson. He and Allie had been friends first, and then they progressed into something more. He had always treated Allie with respect, and they dated for a while, but they had grown and matured and their relationship couldn't stand the test of time. Their friendship lasted though and Jay still talked to her from time to time. He could still never say a bad thing about her. He just wasn't that kind of person.
He dated Gabby Dawson for a little bit, and while that was nice, they were better off as friends. But that relationship had led to his friendship with Antonio, which later led to his job in Intelligence, which would ultimately lead to his current relationship, so he must have done something right with Gabby. Not to say he had used her. He definitely had felt something for Gabby at the time, but things just didn't work out. She worked better with Casey and he worked better with Erin.
Until Erin, Jay had never truly felt what it was like to be in love. He had known there was something different about her the moment he had seen her. Their playful banter flowed seamlessly, and he was drawn to her like he had never been drawn to another person. It was almost like he needed to be around her. He was surprised at how easy it was to talk to her. He didn't mind when she would boss him around or treat him like a house husband. Jay allowed himself to trust her pretty easily, which didn't come naturally to him. Sure, there were things he didn't like to talk to her about, like Afghanistan or his parents, but she didn't push him. That is what made her special. She got it. She had her own demons and she understood what it was like to want to bury certain things from your past, but also to know that there was another person there to talk about it with you if you wanted to.
And now, he was going to marry her.
After the proposal, they had gotten right into the wedding planning. Jay hadn't expected it to be a long process. He and Erin were both pretty simple people and they knew how to communicate well with each other. It took them a total of four months to throw together their wedding and now, it was the day that he would promise to spend the rest of his life with her.
He hadn't broken a promise to her yet, and this definitely was not the one that he was planning on breaking.
A knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts and he turned his head at Ruzek and Atwater burst into the room, both of them with big grins on their faces. Jay stood to greet them.
"Wow, he does own a tux!" Antonio joked as he followed them in the door. "We weren't sure, we've never seen you in anything other than jeans." He pulled him in for a hug. "How you feelin', bro?"
"Good." And he was. Jay thought he would be nervous, but the feeling hadn't come yet. He knew that Erin was; she had already texted him twice about little details that she thought they forgot about that he had handled. He was sure that she was getting restless and biting her lip like she always did when she was nervous.
"I can't believe you're going and getting married on us." Ruzek stated as he practically threw himself on the loveseat. "Where are we going to have our hockey nights?"
"You act like Erin and I weren't living together before this and you didn't come over for hockey nights already." Jay stated, reaching over to knock Adam's feet off of the table.
He was glad that the guys were there. Before they had come, he was pretty much just staring at the wall. He had been ready for about a half an hour now and just waiting for the call that he could come to the church. Erin was getting ready in a room there, so he had gotten the whole apartment to himself to get dressed.
"Yo, where's Mouse?" Atwater chimed in from where he was raiding the refrigerator. Jay shook his head; his friends were the worst house guests, with the exception of Antonio.
"He was picking up Will and then coming over here." Jay craned his neck to see what Atwater was doing. "Kev, if you're drinking anything straight out of the carton again, Erin will kill you."
"It's gonna expire anyway while ya'll are gone on the honeymoon." Atwater raised his eyebrows up and down suggestively as Ruzek started to make noises and Antonio grinned.
"Children. You're all children." There was a knocked on the door and Jay got up to answer it, revealing Mouse and Will.
"Big day, man." Mouse hugged Jay, patting him on the back. He entered the apartment.
Will gave Jay a hug too and then looked at him weird. "Why is your face all red?"
Ruzek and Atwater howled with laughter. Jay just shook his head and moved aside so Will could come in. He closed the door behind him and prayed that the time would pass quickly so he could get to the church. All he wanted to do was get married to his girl.
LINSTEAD LINSTEAD LINSTEAD
From the time she woke up that morning, Erin had been nervous. She didn't know why she had let Burgess and Gabby talk her into spending the night before the wedding away from Jay. All she wanted was to wake up with his arms around her and to have him reassure her.
There was not one little part of her that regretted saying yes to marrying him or to going through with the wedding. But she was nervous this regardless. She was scared that something would go wrong or something bad would happen and it was all she could think about. If Jay was here, she knew that he would have kissed her and held her and told her that everything was going to be perfect because it was them and now, it would always be the two of them.
But instead, she had woken up in her childhood bedroom in Voight's house to the smell of eggs and bacon because Burgess and Gabby had talked her into spending the night away from her fiancé. But she did wake up to a sweet good morning text from Jay where he said how excited he was to marry her and wake up next to her every morning for the rest of their lives, so that definitely made up for how cold she was from not having the extra body heat of another person lying next to her.
The morning had gone pretty smoothly. She and Hank had eaten breakfast together, and then she showered and they drove to the church. During this time, she was so grateful for her father figure. Erin didn't have a lot of girlfriends or a mom to be there, so Hank was really stepping up. He was going to spend the day with her while she got ready, and while he could drive her crazy sometimes, he was a blessing today.
"Who all is coming to the church to help you get ready?" Hank asked as he carried in the bag that contained her wedding dress. It was elegant but simple; Hank had said that it reminded him a lot of the dress Camille wore to their wedding.
"Gabby, Kim, and Sylvie will all be here in a little bit, and then the hair and makeup ladies. Olive will be here with Daniel soon too. I think Platt said she wanted to stop by and I told her I would like that."
"You're good to her, Erin. You know she thinks of you as family."
"I know." Erin nodded. "I think of her as family too. I don't really have a lot, so if she wants to come, then I would love it."
"I want to do this before everyone comes then." Hank pulled something out of his pocket. Erin saw that it was a white envelope and when he handed it to her, she immediately recognized Camille's loopy cursive on the front of it.
"What?" she practically whispered. "Hank…"
"When she was in the hospital, she wrote this letter for me to give to you on your wedding day. I've kept it in the safe all these years, waiting for this day. Erin, Camille would have loved Jay. I know that I gave you a hard time in the beginning of your relationship, but it was only because I didn't want you to end up with a broken heart. I just want you to know how proud I am of you and of the woman that you have become. When you were fifteen years old, I never would have thought that I would be standing here in front of the beautiful woman you are now and about to hand her off to one of the best men I know. I have completely faith that you and Halstead are gonna make this work, and I'm so glad that I've gotten to be a part of your life. If Camille were here, I know she would be saying the same thing. I know we were tough on you when you were younger, but it was just because we wanted you to be the best person that you could be. I truly believe that you've become that person. I love you, kiddo."
"I love you, too." Erin hugged him tightly as a tear slid down her cheek. She felt him kiss the side of her head and she squeezed him one more time before pulling back. She looked down at the letter in her hands. "Do you know what she wrote?"
"No, I never looked. I can give you some privacy…"
"I wanna read it together."
Erin and Hank sat down on the couch together. She carefully ripped open the seal of the envelope and pulled out the letter. Both of their breaths caught in their throats at the sight of her handwriting on the page.
Erin,
Most people would say this is morbid, sitting here in a hospital bed and writing a letter to my daughter that she'll open one day on her wedding day. But I just want to be prepared in case something goes wrong. I know that you and Hank would understand though; you both are so much alike, especially in the way that your minds always go to worst case scenario.
I feel like I should begin this letter by saying I love you. If I'm gone, then it'll probably be a while since you've heard that, so Erin, I love you. Our family was just stumbling along, only part of the way complete until you came along. Now I know you always say that I didn't like you when you first came, and that is partly true. How would you feel if your husband brought home a mouthy teenager you've never met and told you she would be moving in? But you grew on me pretty quickly. You have a way of growing on people, you know. You're pretty easy to love. And after I fell in love with you, there was never a time I regretted it. I know you always felt guilty for little things, like when I spent my Christmas money to buy you new clothes, or when Justin got suspended from school to beat up that punk who hurt you, but that is what family does for each other, and Erin, you are family.
If you're reading this letter, then it means that this must be your wedding day! First of all, let me say congratulations. I know that he has to be a good guy or else Hank would have never let this happen. I'm proud of you, sweetheart. I'm proud that you have finally opened up your heart and let someone else in enough that you are willing to spend the rest of your life with him. Keep opening up your heart, okay? You can never share too much. If you are ashamed to share parts of yourself with this person, then they are not right for you. But I know that whoever you have chosen has fallen in love with every part of you, even the bad and the ugly, so just be you, Erin. Don't try and change or be someone you are not. If this is the man that I imagine he would be, then he won't try and change you anyway, but I just feel like that is something you need to hear.
I know that you are going to be the most beautiful bride in the world. Make sure you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel beautiful. Be confident today. This is your day. You are the most gorgeous woman that I have ever met, inside and out, and I want you to feel like you are too. I know you have struggled in the past with feeling like you are not beautiful, but Erin, you are going to look amazing. If you need your hair and makeup redone ten times today to feel like you look perfect, then do it. It's your day!
I hope you know that no matter what, I am always with you. Say hello to Hank and Justin for me and let them know that I love them, and that they have my permission to hurt this man you're marrying if he ever hurts you. I love you so much, Erin, and I am so proud of you.
Camille
LINSTEAD LINSTEAD LINSTEAD
Hank felt a single tear fall from his eye as he finished reading the letter. He looked over and saw that Erin has tears pouring down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around him and he pulled her close as she sobbed into his shoulder.
"I wish she was here." She cried.
"Me too. More than anything." Hank stroked her hair and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
"Justin…"
"I know." Hank rocked her gently back and forth. He could feel her shaking in his arms and knew that this was all of her pent up anxiety and nerves coming out along with her feelings about the letter. "Shhh, it's okay. Calm down, Erin."
He could feel her start to hyperventilate and knew she was having a panic attack now. "Take deep breaths, Erin. Come on. Breathe in and out." She was struggling. "Do you want me to call Jay?" she actually focused on his face at that, so he took that as a yes. "Keep breathing, nice and slow. I'm going to call Jay but you need to try and breathe."
Hank knew that Erin had been a real anxious teenager. She had a history of panic attacks, and he and Camille had talked her through plenty of them. She was a worrier and when she worried herself too much, it would get so bad that she wouldn't be able to breathe. Once she got older, they came less and less, which he was grateful for. He shook his head; of course she would have one on her wedding day.
The last he knew of her having one was on the day she had been in New York with Antonio and the SVU team trying to catch Greg Yates. She had fallen and hurt herself, and then Jay talked to her on the phone and calmed her down. He shook his head; this was a happy day. He wasn't going to think about that monster today.
He grabbed his phone and selected the number he was looking for quickly and then turned his attention back to his daughter. Though he and Camille had never officially been able to adopt her because of Bunny, he considered her his daughter and a piece of paper wouldn't make their relationship any different.
"Halstead."
Hank watched Erin as the tears continued to pour down her cheeks, though he wasn't sure if it was from the letter or the fact that she couldn't breathe now. He didn't bother with pleasantries. "Erin's having a panic attack. Will you talk to her and try to calm her down?"
"Yeah, of course. What happened? Is she freaking out about the wedding? Do you need me to come there?"
"I think she was nervous already and then I gave her a letter Camille had written for me to give to her on her wedding day and that's what sent her over the edge. I'm putting you on speaker." Hank went over and sat next to Erin as he put the phone on speaker. "Hey, wanna talk to Jay? He's on the phone. She can hear you, Jay."
"Erin, take some deep breaths for me. I can hear how hard you're struggling over the phone. You're alright, baby. Everything is going to be okay. Do you know how excited I am to see you? I know that we were only apart for one night, but I miss you so much. I feel like it's been forever. And once we're finally together in a little bit, no one better think they're separating us because you're not leaving my arms for the rest of the day." Hank watched Erin's face as Halstead spoke and he could see that she was starting to breathe a little easier. It almost made him smile that Halstead wasn't scared to say all this when he knew that he was listening. "All the guys are here and they're driving me insane. If we ever decide to get married again, let's have a destination wedding somewhere far away that we know they can't afford to come to. Maybe we'll invite Antonio and Mouse, but that's it. The rest of them can stay home. How are you doing, baby? Can you breathe a little better?"
"Her face is actually a normal color again." Hank commented. "She's getting some air in now."
"Don't talk…about…me…like I'm…not…here…" Erin said between breaths.
"God, you scared me." Jay told her from over the phone. "Keep breathing, Erin. In and out."
Hank watched as she closed her eyes and continued to take deep breaths. Jay waited patiently on the line and he noted the quietness, realizing he must be in a different room than the other guys. He respected the fact that he put Erin first and immediately stopped what he was doing to talk to her.
Erin reached her hand out to him and Hank handed her the phone. "Jay?" she spoke.
"I'm here. Do you feel any better?"
"A lot better. My chest still hurts, but I can actually breathe. Thank you for talking to me."
"Hey, you don't ever have to thank me. Today, when I promise to spend the rest of my life with you, that will include talking you through panic attacks too. I think we need to have a talk though."
Hank was trying to act like he wasn't interested in their conversation, but that had definitely caught his attention. The phone was still on speaker too, so it wasn't like Erin was trying to hide was they were talking about.
"A talk about what?" she asked curiously.
"About how there is nothing to be nervous about."
"I'm not nervous." Erin deflected. Hank rolled his eyes.
"I know you, Erin Lindsay. I can hear it in your voice how nervous you are. I bet you're biting your lip and bouncing your leg right now." Hank studied her, noticing she was doing exactly as Halstead had said. She stopped bouncing her leg as soon as he called her out on it. "I'm going to ask you something and I don't want you to feel like you have to lie to me or say what you think I want to hear, okay?"
"Okay."
"Do you want to get married today?"
Hank watched the tiny smile appear on his daughter's face. "Of course I do."
"Then what is there to be nervous about? It's me and you, Er. You're going to walk in that door and be the most beautiful bride ever and I'll stand up there looking like an idiot with my mouth hanging open. We'll say our vows, have a party, eat some great food, drink with all our friends, and then we're off to our honeymoon for a week. It's gonna be great."
"It sounds so simple when you say it."
"Because it is simple. Sure, there are things that could go wrong. But if they do, then we'll deal with it. I promise that if you fall, then I'll throw myself on the ground too." Erin laughed and if Hank hadn't already decided that Jay was the perfect guy for her, he would have in that moment.
"What if Bunny causes a scene?" Erin's voice was small and Hank knew then that that was the real reason she was so nervous. He heard Jay sigh. Erin had been pretty insistent on inviting her mother to the wedding. Jay had asked her numerous times leading up to the wedding if she was sure and she said that she was. Jay and Hank were both supportive of her decision to have Bunny there, but they both knew all the trouble that Bunny could cause and they didn't want her to make the day about her.
"Then I will personally grab her by the arm and kick her out." Jay said, leaving no room for arguments. "There is nothing that could happen that will make this day go badly, Erin. It's not possible. This is the first day of the rest of our lives together."
"I love you." Erin stated.
"I love you too, baby. Are you almost ready?"
"I haven't even started."
"What? Erin!" Jay groaned. "Start getting ready so we can get this thing started or else I might end up killing Ruzek."
Erin smiled. "Okay." Hank held out his hand to take the phone, gesturing that he wanted to talk. "Hank wants to talk to you."
"Hey Jay?"
"Yes, sir?"
"Thank you."
"You're welcome?" Jay seemed a little confused on what he was thanking him for.
"If I had any doubts before this, I definitely don't now. There is no better man that I could find to marry my daughter."
"Thank you, Hank. That means a lot." Jay said, the sincerity clear in his voice.
"We'll see you when you get here." Hank ended the call. He looked at Erin, who had tears in her eyes again. "Don't go crying on me again. I've seen you cry enough today. When are your friends coming? I'm ready to see my girl get married."
Erin just stood and walked over to him. She hugged him tightly. "You are the best father I could have ever asked for, you know that?"
Hank kissed her head. "You didn't make it easy, but you were worth the trouble."
LINSTEAD LINSTEAD LINSTEAD
Erin looked over as the door opened to the bridal suite, revealing Antonio. She smiled involuntarily; that meant Jay was here. Her hair and makeup were completely done, but she was still dressed in a robe. Gabby, Sylvie, and Kim were drinking wine and chatting with Olive, who was actually getting involved in the conversation. Hank was sitting in the corner of the room with Daniel on his lap.
"How's it going in here?" he went to Erin. "You look beautiful."
"Thanks, Tonio." She hugged him. "How's Jay?"
"He's greeting guests. Ruzek, Atwater, and Will were trying to get him drunk before the wedding, but he wouldn't budge. He said he wanted to remember every little detail. I wanted to come in here and see you before you walked down that aisle so you know that you've got us in your corner too. We got stuck with Jay today doing all the guy stuff, but we love you too, Erin."
"That means a lot. Thank you." She hugged him again.
"The other guys wanted to come see you too, but I wasn't sure how close to ready you were and if you would want to deal with them. They've been driving Jay crazy all day."
She laughed. "I know, he told me." Erin looked at Hank. "Is Al here yet?"
"Should be."
She looked back to Antonio. "Can you get him too and bring them in here?" She knew that Alvin had ducked out of all the wedding preparations today. He didn't want to deal with Ruzek this morning, and she had offered to let him hang out with her and Hank, but he said he didn't want to intrude. But Alvin had been like an uncle and a second father to her for the second half of her life; she definitely wanted to see him before she walked down the aisle.
"Yeah, I'll be right back." Antonio excused himself and walked out of the room.
"Do you want to get your dress on and surprise them all with it?" Gabby suggested. Kim, Olive, and Sylvie had huge smiles on their faces at the idea. Their excitement was contagious and Erin nodded her head.
"I'll turn around." Hank turned towards the window, taking Daniel with him.
Erin let the other women help her into her dress as she faced the wall. She didn't want to see anything until she was completely ready. All she could think about was Jay. She hoped that he loved it.
"It's on!" Kim announced.
Hank faced her and Erin saw the tears immediately spring to his eyes. She had never imagined that he would be the kind of guy who would cry on his daughter's wedding day, but somehow, it didn't surprise her at all.
She smiled at him. "Will you zip me?"
Hank stepped forward and Olive took Daniel from his arms. Erin turned around and Hank grabbed the zipper on the back of the dress, bringing it all the way up. "There you go. You look beautiful, Erin."
"Thank you." She smiled. She went over to the mirror and looked at herself. For once, she really did believe it. Her makeup was perfect. Her hair was curled and twisted into an up do. Her dress was strapless and hugged her tightly from her breasts until her hips, but then was flowy at the bottom. The top had some designs and sparkle to it, but it wasn't over the top.
"I'll help you get your shoes on." Sylvie offered. She leaned down to help Erin step into her heels and then buckled them for her. As she was doing that, Kim put her jewelry on for her. They finished at the same time and that was it.
She was ready.
There was a knock on the door and then it opened. Antonio led in Ruzek, Atwater, Alvin, and Mouse and each of their mouths practically fell open. They all stopped and looked at her.
Alvin stepped forward first. "You clean up nicely."
Erin laughed. "Thanks, Al."
"You know, I still remember that scrawny street kid Hank brought in all those years ago. Used to steal anything you could get your hands on, would run away any chance you could get, always had a smart come back."
"Some things never change." Antonio chimed in, earning a laugh from the rest of the room.
"Anyway, I'm proud of you, Erin. You've really grown up and become someone that I know my girls look up to, especially Lexi. And I hope that Michelle sees you as an example of a person who came from a bad past but didn't use it as an excuse to have a bad future."
Erin hugged him. "Thank you. And thank you for always being there. I know there were times that you talked Hank down a little bit on my punishments."
Alvin shrugged. "He was always a little extreme on how long he was grounding you for."
Hank made an unimpressed sound. "No, you just fell for the dimples and the puppy dog eyes."
"Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay." Ruzek stepped forward as Alvin moved out of the way. "Are you sure that Halstead is really the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with? I think that there are other men who would be better for the job."
Erin raised an eyebrow at him. "Like who?"
Ruzek gestured towards himself. "Obviously you have other partners in Intelligence who are better looking…"
Antonio laughed. "You couldn't handle Erin."
"Really, man?" Ruzek turned to him.
"You're not smart enough." Alvin told him.
"Or interesting enough." Antonio added.
"And you're not good enough for her." Hank finished.
"But Halstead is?" Ruzek questioned. It took everything in Erin not to laugh at the look on his face. He had clearly been joking about wanting to be with her, but now his ego was bruised at the others implying that Jay was somehow better than him.
"Yeah." Hank answered.
"I feel like you guys are our parents and you're not supposed to pick favorites." Ruzek pouted, looking towards Hank and Alvin as he spoke.
"Erin is our favorite." Alvin stated. "I thought you all knew that."
Ruzek shook his head. "That's cold, Al."
"Man, just give her a hug, tell her she's pretty, and move on." Atwater said to his friend. He leaned down so that Erin didn't have to reached up much to hug him. "You look amazing, Lindsay."
"Thanks, Kev."
"I would bet money Jay will cry."
"I'll take that bet." Ruzek raised his hand. He hugged Erin tightly, nearly knocking her over from the force of it, causing everyone in the room to yell at him to be careful. "Seriously though, you look great."
"Thank you, Adam."
Mouse was the last one to step forward. He smiled at his best friend's fiancée. "You look beautiful. Jay is going to be speechless."
"You think so?"
"I know so. He actually told me to tell you that if you want, it's not too late to just run out of here and elope."
Erin smiled. "Tell him that would be incredibly rude, and that I don't think we should waste all of the money we've spent. And also let him know that I want to marry him in front of everyone we know so he's just going to have to wait a little while longer."
"I'll tell him." Mouse smiled. "I haven't gotten the chance to thank you yet. Jay has been the happiest that I've seen him in years and that's all because of you. I know that it's hard to get him to open up about some things, but you're patient with him and you let him tell you things on his own time."
Erin shrugged. "I know what it's like to have a past you don't like to talk about. Sometimes it's nice to just know that there's someone there to talk about it when you're ready that isn't going to push you. I try to be that person for Jay."
"You are that person." Mouse agreed. "I know there are things that you want to know, and he will open up to you. Thank you for being so good to him. I know that even though he didn't say anything, it meant a lot to Jay that Voight thanked him for being there for you. Since Will won't do it, I just want you to know that I, as Jay's best friend and honorary brother, appreciate you and welcome you to our family. It's not much; it's only Jay and me, and Will when he wants to be, but you are part of that now too."
Erin hugged him. "Thank you, Mouse. I can't wait to be a part of your family." She grabbed her phone. "Hey Burgess, can you take a picture of me and all my boys?"
"Of course."
Erin and the rest of the guys from Intelligence gathered around. Erin had never had much of a family, but she knew that Jay and Hank and Alvin and Antonio and Mouse and Ruzek and Atwater were all part of the new family that she had formed. As she looked down at the picture, she knew that it would be one that she would cherish forever.
"Is it time for me to get married yet?" Erin wondered, making the others laugh. She just wanted to see Jay and to be Mrs. Halstead.
"Actually, Jay and I have a surprise for you." Hank told her.
"What kind of surprise?" Erin asked. She didn't know what it could possibly be. She noticed Gabby slipping out of the room as Hank spoke and wondered what she was up to.
"I know that Daniel is your ring barrier and I think that he'll do the job just fine." Hank ruffled the two-year old's hair. "But we knew that you didn't have a flower girl and we didn't think that was right."
The door to the bridal suite opened again and Erin watched as Gabby reentered with a dark haired little girl in a beautiful white dress.
"ERIN!"
It only took her about a half a second to realize it was Maddie. She leaned down and held her arms out and hugged the child tightly to her, being joined a second later by Gavin. The two kids belonged to her former friend Sarah and Erin hadn't seen them in almost two months. They had been living in foster care for almost a year now since the death of their older sister, Allie, who had been killed after Sarah sold her to a drug dealer to pay off a debt. Gavin was six now and Maddie was five.
"Hi guys!" she kissed both of their foreheads. "I'm so happy you're here!"
"Erin, you're getting married!" Maddie said cheerfully. "Jay said I get to be the flower girl!"
"Did he?"
"Yeah! He came over last week and he took me shopping and we got this pretty dress and Gavin's tuxedo! Isn't that a cool word? Jay taught us it! Look at my twirly dress!" Maddie stepped back and spun around, making her dress twirl.
"That is so cool, Maddie! You look so pretty! And Gavin, you look so handsome! I can't believe you guys are here!" she hugged them again.
Gavin stared at Erin in shock. "Erin, you look beautiful!"
"Thank you, buddy." She ruffled his hair.
"Jay said that Gavin needs to walk with your baby nephew Daniel to bring the rings. He said Daniel is going to carry them, but he'll need some help walking all the way there by himself." Maddie informed her.
"I think that's a great idea." Erin agreed. She stood up and looked at Hank. "How did you get them here?"
"Jay and I went and talked to their foster parents. They knew that you had been planning the wedding and you had been busy, so they figured that was why you hadn't been over as often. They were willing to let us borrow the kids for the day. Their foster mom will be by the reception hall to pick them up at 8:00."
"Thank you." She smiled at him. "Alright, unless there are any more surprises, I'm ready to get married!"
Hank nodded his head. "Then let's get this show on the road, kid."
LINSTEAD LINSTEAD LINSTEAD
Jay stood up at the front of the alter, waiting anxiously to see his beautiful bride. He had waited his entire life for this, and it had felt like the longest day of his life. The wedding had been supposed to start at 4pm, and it was now 4:11. He was beyond ready.
Mouse was his best man and standing on his left side. Next to him was Will, and then Antonio. The three men were all probably getting sick of his bouncing, but he was antsy. It had now been about 24 hours since he had last seen Erin, and he was starting to think it was a little ridiculous that he missed her this much.
The music began and he took a deep breath in and calmed himself down. The doors at the back of the church opened and he watched as the bridal party filed in. Sylvie came down the aisle first and stood furthest to the side. Gabby was next and stood a little closer to where Jay was; it was a little weird that his ex-girlfriend was in his wedding, but he just smiled at the thought and shook his head. Kim had been chosen as Erin's maid of honor and she walked down next.
Then, Gavin came down with Daniel. The little boy was holding a box that contained their wedding bands. Jay couldn't help but smile at how cute the sight was. Daniel had the biggest grin on his face as Gavin held one of his hands, pointing up at where Jay was standing. Jay could see the proud smile on Olive's face as her little boy was the ring barrier in her aunt's wedding. Even though he hadn't liked Justin much, he wished that the man was here to see this. They got to the front and stood on the side with the men.
Maddie was next. She carried a white basket full of red and white rose petals. She dropped them gently to the ground, practically dancing down the aisle. Jay could tell she was happy to be there, and it made him even happier that he had had the idea to try and get Maddie and Gavin to come. He was honestly a little shocked their foster parents had said yes, but he knew Erin was probably just as happy as the two children. She finally reached the front of the church and smiled at him widely before standing with the rest of the women.
The music changed and everyone in the church stood. Jay felt his heart swell as Erin stood in the doorway with her arm wrapped in Hank's. Her eyes lit up as soon as she saw him and Jay's vision blurred slightly; he realized he had tears in his eyes.
She was so beautiful.
Her dress wasn't too flashy, but it wasn't plain either. She wasn't wearing too much makeup and her hair wasn't overdone. She looked absolutely perfect and just so Erin. He sucked in a breath and their eyes locked onto each other as she started her walk down the aisle.
Hank and Erin stopped just before the three small steps that would bring her up to the stage the rest of them were standing on. The priest stepped forward. "Who gives this woman away?"
"Her father does." Hank said. Jay felt the smile on his own face at the man's words. Though it was unspoken, everyone knew Hank was Erin's dad and Jay was glad that he had worded it that way.
Erin hugged Hank and he kissed her cheek. Then, she turned to look at him. Jay reached his hand out and she took it and climbed those three steps. She stood across from him as they kept their hands linked.
"Hi." Jay mouthed as the priest began to talk.
"Hi." Erin mouthed back, the smile never leaving her face.
Jay just looked at her, taking in every detail of her beautiful face. He thought that she looked gorgeous every day, but today was something special. He wanted to remember this.
"…the couple has chosen to write their own vows. Jay, would you like to go first?" the priest questioned.
Jay smiled. "Erin, I've been pretty much in love with you since the day we met. I know that is so cliché to say, but it's true. I think anyone who knows you knows how hard it is not to fall in love with you. You are one of the most selfless and giving human beings I have ever met, almost to the point where you give too much of yourself to make other people happy. I promise you that I will never take too much of you. I will always be there to support you and tell you when enough is enough, and to give you some of myself too when you need it. I will always be there to give you that extra push too because I know that you have the hardest time being selfish. I promise that I will do my best to make all of your dreams come true and to check off all the items on our bucket lists. I want to add a few more to my list right now. I want to make sure I tell you that you are beautiful, and that I love you, and how much you mean to me every single day, because there is no one who deserves to know how important they are more than you, Erin. But most of all, I promise to be there. Plenty of people have left your life, but I won't be one of them. You are stuck with me forever, baby. Even on your days when you are frustrated from a tough case and you just wanna pick fights over stupid things like me always cleaning up after you, and on your days where you want to do nothing but lie in bed and talk about all the things you want to do in life. I'm there, one hundred percent, forever. I love you."
Erin had tears in her eyes as he finished talking. One fell down her cheek and Jay quickly reached out, wiping it with the pad of his thumb. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead.
"I've been trying so hard to find the perfect thing to say to you that will let you know how much I love you, but it's hard when you always say all the right things." Everyone laughed. "Jay, I don't think there's ever been a person who has understood me the way that you do. From the first day we met, it seemed like you knew what I was going to do before I did and you always knew how to back me up, and it just seems like that has carried over into our personal lives. You always know the perfect thing to say for every possible situation. When I was dealing with Nadia's death, you were the one to pull me out of that hole. When I need someone to vent to or to talk about my past with, you are always there to listen and to reassure me that I'm not that person that I used to be. You don't judge me or let it change your opinion of me and I am thankful for that every single day. I want you to know that I will always be here too, ready to return the favor. You have taught me so much in the time that I have known you about relationships and love and myself. Because of you, I feel like I am worth being loved. Because of you, I feel beautiful. Because of you, I know that I don't deserve to just be used and treated badly and then passed on to the next guy. You were the first man to ever really take a chance on being in a relationship with me, and I want to thank you for that. I know that I come with a lot of baggage and scars that a lot of others wouldn't want to take on, but you do it so gracefully and make it look so easy and I love you so much for that. You make me feel like I don't have to hide who I am. You have made me feel so important, but I want you to know that you are the most important person in my life. I can't wait to go to all the places you want to go to, even Wisconsin, and watch hockey games and go fishing and any other things you want to drag me to because as your wife, we're a team now. Anything you want to do, I'm there, okay? But most of all, I can't wait to start the rest of our life together. I can't wait to buy a house and get a puppy and have your babies because I love you, Jay Halstead, and there is no one else in this world that I would rather spend the rest of my life with."
Jay's cheeks hurt from how much he had been smiling. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against Erin's. He closed his eyes for a few seconds and heard her laughing.
"May I have the rings, please?"
Jay pulled back and watched as Gavin led Daniel over to them. He and Erin both leaned down to grab each other's rings.
"Good job, boys." Erin praised quietly, making Gavin beam proudly. He brought Daniel back to where they had been standing.
"Jay, put the ring on Erin's finger and say, 'with this ring, I thee wed'."
Jay slid the wedding band on until it touched her engagement ring. "With this ring, I thee wed."
"Erin, put the ring on Jay's finger and say, 'with this ring, I thee wed'."
Erin put his ring on his finger. "With this ring, I thee wed."
"By the power invested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Jay leaned forward and kissed her. He took full advantage of the moment and pulled her into his arms, taking a second to deepen the kiss. He heard catcalling and cheering from the crowd and pulled back. Erin had a huge smile on her face. She threw herself into his arms for a hug.
"I love you." She whispered.
"Not as much as I love you."
Jay pulled back and grabbed her hand to help her down the stairs. He led her down the aisle and back to the bridal suite where the whole wedding party would be meeting up. He sat down on the couch and pulled her onto his lap, kissing her again.
"Mrs. Erin Halstead." He said. "Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"
"It sure does." She agreed. She would be changing her name legally, but they agreed that she would keep her last name for work. It could get a little confusing if they had two Detective Halsteads running around.
Everyone else filed into the room, but Erin and Jay were only focused on each other. No one was surprised though. That's the way it always was; the two of them were always off in their own little happy world.
LINSTEAD LINSTEAD LINSTEAD
The wedding party had gone off with the photographer to do all of their pictures before coming to the wedding reception. It was filled mostly with police officers, fire fighters, and doctors, and even the SVU team had flown in from New York to attend the wedding.
Burgess and Mouse both gave speeches that made everyone laugh. When they finally got to eat, Erin almost cheered because of how hungry she was, which made Jay laugh.
On her way back to her table, Erin was stopped by Bunny and Teddy. She almost dropped her food in her excitement at seeing her brother, but luckily, Jay grabbed it from her hands. She hugged him tightly.
"You are a beautiful bride." Teddy told her, leaning in to kiss her cheek. He looked at Jay with the same hesitance that he always had around men, but Jay knew her boyfriend- husband- understood. "Jay, it's good to see you."
"You too, Teddy. I'm glad that you could make it."
"Well don't sound so excited to see me." Bunny chimed in.
Erin looked at Jay and she could see how hard he was clenching his jaw to avoid saying something to her mother. She stepped forward and hugged her.
"Hi, Mom."
"Hello, honey." She greeted. "It took forever for them to let us into the reception area. You should have had the bar open while they were setting up in here."
"Mom, let's go get food." Teddy suggested, grabbing Bunny's shoulders and turning her towards the door. "Congratulations, you guys."
"Thank you, Teddy. I'm so happy you're here. You'll come dance with me, right?" Erin asked.
"I wouldn't miss dancing with my sister on her wedding day for the world." He said.
Erin took her food from Jay's hand as they walked back up to their seats. Bunny hadn't said anything about how she looked, she hadn't congratulated her, she hadn't said she was happy for her, she hadn't said the wedding was nice, she hadn't…
"Hey." Jay interrupted her thoughts. "I don't know if I've said this yet today, but you look absolutely gorgeous, baby. I mean, you could have gotten married in a t-shirt and jeans and I would have been just as happy, but your dress is amazing. You look beautiful."
Sometimes, Erin wondered if Jay could read her mind.
She stopped walking. Jay stopped too, looking at her in confusion. She leaned up and kissed him quickly. "Thank you."
He smiled. "You're welcome. Don't let Bunny get to you, okay?"
"I'm not. This isn't about her. This is about us. And you look great in that tuxedo."
"Thanks." He gave her his charming smile and all the negative energy was forgotten as they went back up to their seats.
Once dinner ended, they decided to cut the cake. Erin put her hand on top of the knife and Jay put his hand on top of hers as they both pressed down to cut into it. They both picked up a bite and went to feed it to each other, but Jay smeared Erin's all across her mouth. Erin went to do the same thing, but missed and got it all over his cheek instead. They both laughed as they tried to clean it off of each other, but just ended up making more of a mess when Jay put more icing on Erin's nose.
"The couple will now share their first dance." Their DJ announced.
Erin let Jay lead her out to the dance floor. No one else around them mattered as they swayed to the beat of the music.
"Are you having fun?" he asked her.
"Yeah. You?"
"Yeah. I can't wait until the real dancing starts. I wanna see you do the Macarena."
Erin rolled her eyes. "I'm not doing the Macarena."
"Oh, you will after you've had a couple shots."
"I won't."
Jay smiled. "You know, I didn't know it was possible for me to fall even more in love with you, but after today, I guess it is."
Erin knew exactly what he meant. "Today is pretty amazing, isn't it? Having everyone we love here and being able to kiss and say we love each other without having to worry about being professional is nice."
He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "You're right about that. It'll be even nicer when we're in Wisconsin for a week and we can do whatever we want for a week without having to worry about anyone watching."
Originally, they had been planning on going to the beach for their honeymoon, but then they had chosen to go to Jay's family's cabin instead. It was just unrealistic for them to go on a vacation to the beach right now. They were trying to save up money for a house right now and paying for the wedding, so they decided that they would go to the beach another time. Erin was genuinely excited to get away from everything and be with just Jay for a week, even if it was in Wisconsin.
"I can't wait." She leaned into him slightly. "These shoes are killing my feet."
Jay readjusted his arms so that he could take on more of her weight. Erin smiled at his thoughtfulness. She had married the best man ever.
The music ended and it was time for the father daughter dance. Jay kissed her cheek and then went to sit down. Hank came up to take his place. As the music started, he wrapped his arms around her.
"Don't think that you and Halstead can be all unprofessional now that you're married." She could see that joy in his eyes and hear the joking tone in his voice.
"It's funny that you said that since we were just talking about how it's nice to be able to touch each other in public without worrying about being professional." Erin said.
"Are you having a nice time?"
"Yeah, of course. I'm married to the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. That's all I need."
"I saw you talking to Bunny. Did she give you a hard time?"
"No, she was just complaining."
"Did she tell you how beautiful you look?" Erin just looked down uncomfortably. "You do look beautiful, Erin."
"Everyone keeps saying that to me."
"But do you believe it?"
She thought about it for a second. "Yeah, I do. Just like I said earlier, Jay makes me feel beautiful." She felt a little weird talking about this with Hank, but she was confident in what she was saying and she knew he wouldn't judge her for saying it.
He nodded his head. "Good. Your vows were nice."
Erin laughed. "I just rambled the whole time. Jay's were better."
"He's good with words. But yours were meaningful. Jay looked pretty happy with them."
"I hope he was."
"Should we be expecting a honeymoon baby?"
Erin looked at him with a look of mild disgust. "Really?"
"Daniel needs a cousin."
"Not for a little while. We want to buy a house first and get settled in there."
"Smart." Hank nodded his head. "If you need help with some money to put down for a house…"
"Thank you, but I kind of want to do things on my own. Prove that I can stand on my own two feet, you know?"
"Yeah, I know." Hank kissed the top of her head. "That's my girl."
Their dance ended and it was time for the normal wedding music to start playing. The open bar also began and Erin knew that the real party was about to begin. She pulled back from Hank and was almost immediately greeted by Maddie and Gavin.
"Erin! Will you dance with me?" Maddie asked.
Erin leaned down and picked her up. "Of course I will! Let's go get Jay and see if he'll dance with us too." She shifted Maddie to her right hip and grabbed Gavin's hand with her left and walked over to where Jay was talking to Will and a couple of other doctors from Med.
"Jay!" Maddie called out as they got closer. He turned his head when he saw her coming.
"Excuse me, guys." He said to the others. He came over to them. "What's going on here?"
"Maddie and Gavin want to know if we would like to dance with them."
"Are you kidding? Yeah we will!" He scooped up Gavin and led the way to the dance floor. He and Erin proceeded to make up names to funny dance moves, trying to make the kids laugh as hard as they could. Erin hadn't seen Gavin smile so much ever. Eventually, Daniel toddled over to them and she scooped him up, holding him as he watched Maddie and Gavin try to come up with their own moves.
Hank came over to them after a little while. "Erin, their foster mom is here." He whispered to her.
"Okay." She leaned down to their level. "Guys, Miss Tina is here to pick you up."
"No!" Maddie whined. She always had the hardest time with leaving, but even Gavin reached out and hugged her. "Can't we stay longer?"
"Guys, remember what I said? No tears." Jay told the kids. "We'll be over to visit with you again soon. It's a happy day, so no crying. The flower girl and chief ring barrier don't cry."
Maddie hugged Erin. "I wanna stay with you forever."
"I know, sweet girl, but that can't happen. But we'll see each other again really soon, okay? I'm so happy that the two of you were here today. As soon as I get pictures, I'll bring you some that you can keep. I'll walk you out to the car, come on." Erin stood and grabbed both of their hands. Jay followed after her as she brought them outside.
Their foster mom, Tina, was waiting outside. She smiled when she saw the four of them. "Congratulations, you two!"
"Thank you." Erin and Jay said in unison.
"Hey guys." She opened the backdoor of the car. "Did you have a good time?"
"Uh-huh." Maddie answered. She turned and hugged Erin again, and then Jay. Gavin repeated her action.
"I'll come see you soon, alright?"
"Okay." Gavin said. Maddie just nodded her head and they got into the car. Tina shut the door behind them.
"Did they behave?"
"Yeah, they were perfect. They're just a little upset about having to leave the party." Erin responded. "Is it okay if I call you soon to set up a time to come see them?"
"That's fine." Tina nodded her head. "Congratulations again!"
"Thank you so much for letting them come. It means a lot."
"It's no problem. Have a great rest of your night."
"You too." Jay said. He held Erin's hand in his as they walked inside. "You good?"
"I hate how upset they get when they leave. Thank you for getting them here. That was such an amazing surprise."
"You're welcome." Jay kissed her. "Let's get back in there. I'm sure the Macarena will come on soon."
Erin rolled her eyes as he practically dragged her inside. "I'm not doing the Macarena!"
Once they got back inside, Olive came over to them with a sleeping Daniel in her arms. "We're gonna go. Thank you so much for inviting us. You guys wore him out with all the dancing!"
"Thank you for coming." Erin hugged her. "How long are you staying in Chicago?"
"My plane leaves in two days, so I'll be gone before you're back from the honeymoon."
Erin nodded her head in understanding. "You should come visit more often. I had a lot of fun with you today, and I know Gabby, Kim, and Sylvie did too, and Hank and I love seeing Danny." She leaned forward and kissed her nephew's head. "I'll send you pictures from the wedding when I have them."
"Thank you." Olive smiled at Jay. "Congratulations. I know Danny is going to love his Uncle Jay."
Erin's heart could have burst at the smile on Jay's face. "And I will love being a part of his life. See you soon, Olive."
"Goodbye." She turned and left.
Erin and Jay joined everyone else, immediately being handed beers by Ruzek. After Erin had downed her second one, she was being given a shot by Burgess, and then a second one by Sylvie. Almost right after, the Macarena began.
"You have to!" Jay told her.
"No." Erin refused. She noticed everyone around her begin to do the hand motions, including Jay. She groaned at the awful music.
"Please?"
She gave in and started to do it, earning cheers from those around her. Jay leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips. Once the dance ended, she broke away from the crowd with the intention of going to the bathroom.
"I'm going to head out." Hank told her as he came over to her. "I saw you out there doing the Macarena. Snapped a few pictures."
She gasped. "You did not!"
"Jay told me to have my camera ready when the song came on."
"I don't like the two of you teaming up on me."
Hank smiled. "Who is driving you home?"
"Casey. He hasn't been drinking anything; he has to stop and get Louie when he and Gabby are on their way home, so they are going to drop Jay and I off."
"And then you're driving to Wisconsin tomorrow morning?"
"Yep."
"Shoot me a text when you get there."
"I will." Erin promised. She hugged him. "Thank you for everything. Without you, none of this would have been possible."
"Hey, I may have pulled you out of that life, but changing the path you were on? That was all you." He kissed her forehead. "Have fun tonight, and have a good honeymoon. I'm so happy for you, Erin." He looked over and saw Bunny hanging around the bar. "I'll get her out of here on my way out."
"Thank you." Erin had been keeping an eye on her all night and she hadn't wanted to say anything, but she knew that she was most likely wasted. She didn't want her to make a huge scene, but she didn't know how else they were going to get her out of there.
"Get back out there and dance. Maybe you can do the electric slide next."
Erin laughed. "Goodnight, Hank."
"Night, kiddo."
Erin went back over to the group, but kept half of her focus on where Hank was. She noticed she had caught Jay's attention and he was coming over towards her to see what she was doing. She reached her just as Hank got to Bunny.
"What's he doing?"
"He's going home. He's getting Bunny out of here on his way out."
"His choice or yours?"
"Little bit of both."
"Did she say something to you?" she heard the defensiveness in his tone.
"No, but I can tell she's drunk and it's going to be hard to get her out of here. I want to have fun and not have to worry about that."
Jay wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed the side of her head. Erin watched Hank say something to Bunny and she immediately stood up and started to yell at him. Hank's voice was low, like always, so she couldn't make out what he was saying, but she could hear Bunny and it wasn't pretty. She was screaming at him and telling him that he couldn't kick her out of her daughter's wedding.
Erin scoffed; she hadn't been her daughter for a long time.
Jay gently rubbed his hands up and down her arms. She leaned back against him, letting out a deep sigh. Finally, Hank just grabbed Bunny's arm and started to lead her towards the door. Erin caught her eye as she was led way.
"Erin! You're going to let him treat your mother like this? Erin? ERIN!"
She turned away so she couldn't see her anymore. She rested her head against Jay's chest for a minute, taking a few deep breaths. She raised her head back up and grabbed his hand. "Come on, let's go have fun with our friends."
"Okay." He kissed her gently and let her lead him back into the group, leaving Bunny and all of that pain behind. She wasn't important anymore.
LINSTEAD LINSTEAD LINSTEAD
It was after one in the morning when Erin and Jay finally stumbled off of the elevator and towards their apartment. They had both had their fair share of drinks and they were still pretty excited at the fact that they were officially married.
"Wait!" Jay called out. He had Erin's shoes in his left hand and the keys and his phone in his right hand. Erin was in front of him with just her phone and her purse, but she was slightly more intoxicated than he was. Jay scooped her up bridal style. He fumbled around with the keys, which was difficult because of Erin's dress, but he managed to unlock the door and carry her over the threshold. "Here we are, Mrs. Halstead." He dropped her shoes to the floor.
"Wow, I don't think I've ever seen you be so messy. Marriage has changed you." Erin joked.
Jay rolled his eyes and put her down. He closed the door behind him, locked it, and then straightened out her shoes. Now it was Erin's turn to roll her eyes; of course he fixed her shoes.
When he stood back up, they both made eye contact and leaned forward, gently pressing their lips against each other. Jay shed his jacket, letting it fall to the ground. He reached around behind Erin and unzipped her wedding dress, though he did break the kiss to pick that up and drape it over the back of the chair. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he walked slowly towards the bedroom.
Jay knew they could take as long as they needed. After all, they had the rest of their lives to spend with each other.
Up Next…The A-Z Kids Story, which is still untitled! Not sure when it will be posted, but I am thinking January.
Thank you to stagediva23 for the idea of having Camille write Erin a letter for her to open on her wedding day! It was seriously the perfect idea and I love how it turned out.
If you have anything you want to see in A-Z Kids, even just one little scene, now is the time to let me know! I will try to include whatever I can!
Please review and tell me what you thought about the wedding. I hope everyone has enjoyed reading Trust as much as I have enjoyed writing it, and I hope you will all read The A-Z Kids story. I will post a chapter here saying that the sequel is posted so you all get a notification, but I will post it as a separate chapter. Thank you all again for your support!