So thank you for your reviews, they still mean a lot to me, it's such a good feeling to read them. Also it's so unbelievable how popular my story is, since I'm such a beginner at writing and especially writing in English.
Sheldon found himself lying in bed again for days but this time it was his own. He didn't go to work since she tried to talk with Amy, and didn't even care. Leonard was the one who visited him sometimes and brought him food, which he barely ate. He called in sick instead of him too. His old friend was mad at him, he could see it, but after he came home from Amy and told him how she reacted and what her final decision was, Leonard stopped giving him a hard time and tried to take care of him instead. He didn't even meet Penny or anybody else from the gang. Leonard warned him that it's maybe for the best since Penny really wished to kick him in the balls. He thought he wouldn't mind that either. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. He lost Amy, he lost his child and he was fully sinking in self loathing and guilt. He stopped answering messages and phone calls. Maybe because he threw his phone out of the window after a long arguing with his Meemaw. This was the first time Meemaw ever argued with him. She told him he should get himself together and prove to Amy that he loves her. But Meemaw wasn't there when Amy basically kicked him out. Sheldon never saw her that way. The Amy who was amused for five by the slightest signs of his affections, now pulled him away. Did she feel the same when he was the one not wanting physical contact? Anyway, the situation was hopeless, and what hurt him the most was, that Amy was right. Every sentence, every word was true. Amy, who always loved him the way he was, who adored him with his fears and phobias and everything... He never told her how grateful he was for her because of accepting him. And now it was gone. Now Amy saw her the way he really was. A coward. A man without honor and without taking any responsibilites.
He also stopped his usual routine, now it could have been two or three days since his last shower.
Sheldon actually wanted to die, but he was a coward for that too. So he just lied there in his bed and hoped that he maybe gets sick from his own dirt or may starve to death.
The world seemed to be a pointless place. But one day, about four days after he threw his phone out, Leonard visited him again in his room, but this time he had no food with him. Sheldon was a little bit surprised. "So Leonard came to have talk. He can't say anything I'd be interested about. There's nothing I could be interested about at all. Nothing. " He thought.
" Get dressed. We are leaving. " Leonard demanded.
Wow, so that won't be any big emotional talk. Why does he want him to go? Where?
" No, I'm not. " he said simply.
" Yes, Sheldon, you are, even if I have to dress you up. You have to stop this. It's been going on for almost a week now. It's enough! "
" Where do you want to take me? " he asked.
" To Amy. "
" I don' want to go. She hates me and she has many good reasons to feel so. "
" Sure she has. But still, you have to talk to her again. Penny told me there's a chance she'll change her mind. "
"Leonard, don't even start that. Same crap Meemaw told. I was there and believe me, I have never seen her like this. She finally realised what I am. A childlish and egoistic mess . I don't think she will change her mind ever. "
" Sheldon, she is upset. We all were upset. You left her when she needed you the most. But I'm sure she still needs you, so you have to prove her you can be there for her. "
" I highly doubt that. "
" I told you to get dressed. "
" Leonard, leave me here. There is no hope for me. Don't even try to pretend there is. "
" Sheldon. Either you call Amy at least right now, or I'll get you dressed and bring you to a psychiatrist instead. "
" I'll call her. If you'll lend me your phone. "
...
" Hello, Leonard! What's up? " Amy sounded almost happy at the end of the line.
" Hello Amy. It's not Leonard. It's me. How are you? " he asked.
" Why are you calling me? " the change in her tone was impossible not to notice.
" I just wanted to make sure you are okay." he said.
" Well I'm sure, you know I am, you live next to Penny and Leonard. "
" You're right. When will you... When will the surgery be? "
" On Tuesday. Why? "
" I want to be there for you. " he told quietly.
" Well, I don't. Nice chat. Goodybe. And please don't call me again. " Amy hung up.
...
Amy was in the supermarket for grocery shopping when Sheldon called. She thought about telling him the truth, that she already cancelled her appointment in the morning, but now she finally felt relieved and happy and was basically enjoying her Saturday, so she didn't tell. First of all, Sheldon really deserved to suffer, and second, she was still afraid of his reaction. She wasn't sure whether she would experience a second freak out from him, if he told him that she will keep the baby. He looked disappointed and hurt when he found it out about her abortion, but she still considered the chance that he would have also wanted to do the same. And mostly she didn't want to ruin her newly found inner peace so quickly, so she decided she could go on with this little lie for a while. Eventually she'll have to tell him anyway. She was also afraid to tell Penny how she changed her mind, she thought, her decision could be hurtful for her since she opened up to Amy about her own history. So she basically decided not to tell anyone yet.
Bernadette texted her too that day that she wanted to have a girly Sunday brunch. She agreed to that quickly and spent the rest of her day quietly. She played her harp, she watched some TV, and read some magazines, then she took a long bath.
Sometimes the future came into her mind and it made her a little nervous. She kept herself wondering whether she should look for a bigger apartment and how will she manage to keep her status at work. She was also thinking about Sheldon a lot. Now she wasn't undecisive and desperate anymore, her anger was mostly gone, but she still felt sad. She could have never guessed that's how they'll end up. She expected Sheldon to run away from change before but not after getting back together. All the things that happened in December convinced her that he was the only man for him and he loves her so much that he is willing to change. Well that was proved to be wrong.
Sunday's brunch was a good program, and now that she finally figured out to keep her baby, it was a lot easier to hang with Bernadette. Sadly she was really curious about their break-up with Sheldon, but Penny always helped her to find another topic instead. Penny offered Bernadette that they'll walk her to her car, so she left first. After that Penny started to ask questions:
" Amy, how are you doing? I'm really worried. You barely contacted me in the last couple of days. "
" I'm all right, relax. I was just busy with work. " she said.
" I heard that Sheldon called you, and it didn't went that well. " Penny stated.
" Well, it didn't went wrong either. I just told him to leave me alone. "
" I'm sorry, Ames. Do you want me to be with you on Tuesday? " Penny asked
" No! I mean I want to do this alone. And you helped so much already. " Amy didn't know how to tell her. She was not ready to tell Penny. She knew that after telling her, she should tell Sheldon too and she was definetely not ready for that. After Tuesday maybe.
" Are you sure? " Penny asked again looking worried.
" Yes. she said.
...
Tuesday came earlier then she thought. She didn't go to work since she already told to everyone that she will be busy because she had to go to a family-thing and she'll maybe off for the rest of the week, so she decided to analyze the data of her recent EEG research at home.
Penny texted her in the afternoon whether everything went okay. She didn't know what to do so she wrote back, that she is all right and she is home. Well both statements were true, but she still felt guilty about lying, so she decided to get her attention back at work.
She liked statistics, especially when she found something interesting in them. That day she wasn't lucky. " Well, that's not the database that'll win me a Nobel either" she thought. She barely noticed the time passing so she was surprised that it already got dark. She decided to stand up and stretch herself out a little. She was about to sit back and hope for better results as she heard knocking.
knock knock knock "Amy"
knock knock knock "Amy"
knock knock knock "Amy"
It was definitely Sheldon again.
" Amy, please, Penny told me that you are already home! Let me in! "
Amy sighed. She opened the door and stepped back to lock it again behind Sheldon.
" Amy, I had to came. I overheard Leonard and Penny talking about you. Penny told she is worried that you must be lonely but you refuse her help. And that you haven't contacted her all day long, you barely wrote back to her text. "
" Well, I didn't know what else to write. And now you should go as you must have realized there's nothing to worry about as I'm clearly alive. "
" Amy, today must have been hard on you. You really shouldn't be alone. Let me please be with you. I can take care of you. " Sheldon was begging. " Or if you hate me too much to bear my presence, at least let Penny help you. "
" I don't hate you. " Amy didn't know how to react. She didn't expect to see Sheldon that day. She decided she'll call him on Friday after consulting her lawyer, to meet her somewhere in a neutral place where they can discuss child custody as adults. But now this situation wasn't about reasoning. A very big part of her felt touched by the fact that Sheldon was caring this much about her. But she knew she couldn't let that feeling rule her actions anymore.
" You should. I was being immature and... Amy I know it's too late but I'm really sorry. "
" Sheldon, please stop... " she asked. She was so unsure what to do. She felt like she wanted to cry.
" Amy, I want to tell you. I have to tell you. I wanted to have that baby. I freaked out but I decided that I want to keep it. But I respect your decision. I really do. You were absolutely right. I just... I feel like I lost everything. I know I never deserved better... But please don't kick me out again. At least let me make a really little part up to you. Like you know, I could make you some tea. Or dinner. Or give you some medication. Whatever you need."
" Sheldon... " Amy had tears in her eyes. Sheldon really didn't deserve her forgiveness but he maybe deserved the truth. " Sheldon, I have to tell you something... Again. "
So here we are, with a cliffhanger going on. Next chapter's biggest question: will the shamy reunite finally? :)