Author's Note: Sorry I haven't updated this story in a while. I was really sick, but I'm better now. I'm kind of iffy on this chapter, compared to the others. The story about the neighbors is a real fable, although the point can be interpreted as revenge and/or greed. Malen'kiy tigrenok is Russian for 'little cub', according to Google Translate. Soundtrack: playlist?list=PLtJcZcvt9JqnqjE-CbPnUETegWxJYRxjO
WARNING: This chapter contains mentions of child abuse, mentions of rape and mutilation, and suicidal thoughts.
Alex jerks back. She stares at Nicky for a moment. She's trying to cover up her emotions, but Nicky can tell how she feels. Shocked, and pitying.
"Vause…I…I'm sorry…"
Alex shakes her head. "It's fine Nick. But, I should probably get going…Count and all…" Alex quickly walks out.
The blonde sighs and puts her face in her hands. She's fucked up yet another relationship. She's fucked up Marka, Red, Lorna, Alex, and countless others. It's all her fault.
She lets out a shaky laugh. What's she even living for? If it weren't for her being such a pussy, she'd have ended it all already.
She quickly gets up. She needs to see Red before these thoughts take over. She hurries to her cube.
Red's reading a book about gardening. Nicky smiles a little. She's happy that her mother has found an enjoyable hobby.
"Hi Ma."
Red looks up. Her face softens, and she smiles. "Hello, my girl. What's on your mind?"
Nicky drums her fingers against her thigh, nervously. She knows she can tell Red anything. Red already knows all her secrets.
She thinks back to the night that she finally opened up about her traumatic past to Red. She told her about Marka and Paolo's abuse causing her to turn to drugs, and the drugs almost taking her life more than once. She opened up about things she'd never told anyone before. It felt good.
Back in the present, Nicky shrugs with a nervous smile. As much as she loves Red, it's still hard to believe that Red loves her. She can thank Marka for that.
Red sighs, internally. Her daughter is like a pouty teenager. Determined to make you guess what's wrong, rather than telling you, out of embarrassment.
"Did somebody hurt you?"
"Nobody did anything that you didn't already know about." Nicky shifts from foot to foot. She's cold from the floor.
Red is, admittedly, relieved to hear that. She knows that half of the prisoners (and almost all of the guards) would mutilate or rape her daughter, if given the chance. They may have family and respect, but that doesn't guarantee complete safety.
Red may be the queen of the prisoners, but even she isn't all-powerful. She would lay down her life if it meant Nicky would have one less scar. But she knows that that isn't always an option.
"Is this about you telling Lorna's secrets?"
Nicky stares at the floor. She shuffles, pitifully. "Kinda."
Red sits back, and pats the end of the mattress. Nicky joins her, body language revealing obvious sadness. The poor girl needs guidance.
"Let me tell you a story that my mother told me. There were two neighbors, and they hated each other more than anything. And one day, God came down to the first neighbor. He said 'I will give you whatever you want in the world. But your neighbor will get double what you do.' And the man said 'Make me blind in one eye.' And God did."
Nicky's face is scrunched in confusion. Red chuckles. It is an odd fable.
"What do you think the point of the story is, malen'kiy tigrenok?" Nicky thinks hard. She was never big on fables, even as a child. Why not just say what the point is instead of bothering with stories?
"Here, I'll tell you. The point is, revenge hurts you, not just the person you're seeking revenge against, even if that person deserves it. So be careful who you inflict pain on. For they could next inflict greater pain on you."