Written In The Body
Poetheather
A/N: There will be a number of mature things discussed including torture, same sex relationships, violence and others… you have been warned.
A/N 2: This is a revised version of this chapter.
This is a work of fiction using the characters created by J.K. Rowling. They are not used with her permission. All actions follow the events of book seven of the series, excluding the epilogue. Any similarity between any person living or dead is purely coincidental and unintentional. If you happen to find your life reflected in this piece I'll be impressed.
Seven
Walking into St. Mungo's with a purpose, Hermione ignored the few surprised glances turned her way and headed for the information desk. Hopefully the fans and such would stay away and let her deal with her errand before she got mobbed by people for being a hero to the wizarding world. It had happened to her before, when she had gone to the Ministry in order to Floo to Australia. A group of people swamped her and made it difficult for her to get to the proper Floo so she could travel and she did not want to deal with that now. She was really hoping that one of the Healers here would be able to help, as trying to explain everything that had happened to her and complying with the State Statute of Secrecy was difficult at best. No, she really wanted this for her but most especially for Harry. He really needed the help far more than she did at the moment.
The woman at the information counter looked up and started in surprise when she saw her, eyes wide, mouth dropping open. Hermione managed to avoid rolling her eyes. After a few moments of gaping at her the woman stammered out, "M-miss Granger."
Hermione sighed in frustration. It seemed like it was going to be one of those days. Lovely. Just what she needed. "Yes, hello. I need to see if there is someone here who I can speak to about treating damage from the Cruciatus Curse as well as treating someone dealing with battle fatigue, like with long time Aurors. I am doing some research into this area and wanted to get some advice from someone who works in this area."
"Certainly, Miss Granger, I would be happy to assist you. You will need to go to the fourth floor, where spell damage is treated. Most of the issues of battle fatigue have been caused by repeat exposure to offensive and defensive spells after all. I will send you to Senior Healer Bainsley, one of our most knowledgeable on the subject. I am sure that he will be able to answer any of your questions."
With a polite smile, Hermione thanked the woman and headed deeper into the building, away from where people were starting to notice that she was there and mutter to each other. She headed upstairs quickly and once there, followed the directions from one of the staff at the nursing station to the Senior Healer's office. Once she reached the appropriate door, she knocked politely. She only had to wait a moment before the door opened and an elderly wizard with a short, well groomed grey beard and octagonal framed glasses looked out somewhat confused, "Yes?"
"Senior Healer Bainsley?" asked Hermione politely.
"Ah… Miss Granger, yes, please come inside. I was told you had some questions that I might be able to answer for you? Please come in, sit down. How may I assist you?" The healer moved and sat on a chair in front of his desk, gesturing towards the other one so that they could sit close to each other.
Hermione appreciated this gesture and sat near him, not bothered at all by how close they were. "Actually I am afraid I was a bit disingenuous when I spoke to the woman downstairs. While I do have questions this visit is for a consult but I did not want to let anyone know the true reason for this until I was actually protected by patient Healer confidentially. The potential fallout could be too great if there was a leak."
Senior Healer Bainsley eyebrows rose in surprise at hearing this and he peered at her closely, trying to make sense of this. His voice was somewhat guarded as he said, "Go on."
Taking a deep breath to center herself Hermione summoned her Gryffindor courage and explained, "Back in late March, during the recent unpleasantness, I was tortured under the Cruciatus Curse by Bellatrix Lestrange. She put me under the curse quite a number of times and then she carved this into my skin with a cursed knife." She rolled up the sleeve on her left arm to show the scar that still stood out boldly against her fairly pale skin. "Since then I have been having nightmares and other issues, including flares of pain similar to the curse itself because of it. They have been decreasing in frequency, which I am happy about but they have not gone away. I have been seeing a muggle therapist to help me deal with some of it but the therapy has not really been helping as much as I would have hoped. I was not sure if there was actually a treatment for this sort of thing available in the magical world, which is why I did not think to check here first."
The man nodded, a bit shocked to be sure with what he was hearing, but clearly trying to make sense of the issue. "There is indeed a treatment protocol for people who have undergone severe trauma from that curse. There are some potions that you can take that can help with the residual nerve damage that you are no doubt feeling, as it effects the sense of touch pretty severely, and there are other things that can be done to help with the nightmares. This is not an insurmountable problem, especially as you are doing so well this many months out from the event. With the proper care, you will only have the occasional nightmares that any trauma victim would occasionally have after the even. I can do a diagnostic spell to assess the degree of nerve damage to prepare the appropriate regimen of potions. And though I am loathe to ask, the other issue you mentioned?"
"You know who Harry Potter is, correct?" said Hermione rather flatly.
Snorting, the man rolled his eyes, as if that were the most ludicrous statement ever. He then sobered. "Of course, I take it then that this issue concerns him."
"Yes. From what I can tell Harry has been dealing with what the muggles call Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, possibly some Survivor's Guilt and… and well, he has also survived the killing curse a second time. Since then he has not been very doing well at all." Hermione was not sure how much to tell and so only stuck to the most basic facts at this point.
The man's eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open. "A second time? He survived it a second time? I… how… that had not been reported in the news story."
"We did not want anyone to know so it is a closely guarded secret. Please, you cannot tell anyone and if I doubt your word even slightly I will make you take an Oath or even an Unbreakable Vow to that effect. Now I am sure you need more information so here are some more of the details I was able to get from him." Hermione passed on what Harry had told her about how he had been lately, the issues he had been having and how he had reacted to the noise. She left nothing back and included her own observations, adding those onto the end, making it clear that those were her notes.
The Senior Healer suddenly got back to being all business and then nodded, following along with what she was saying. "Yes, you are quite right, this is very serious. Well, first things first, there are a number of things that can be done to help him, at least to mask the symptoms at first and then we can move forward and try for a real healing."
"Can you keep this a secret? This would not be a good thing if it got out to the rest of the wizarding world. They would probably not deal well if their hero was having these sorts of issues. There are too many in the wizarding world who cannot deal with the realities of this nature. And to hear he had survived the curse a second time…, he certainly does not need more notoriety," said Hermione.
"Certainly Miss Granger and I quite agree with you on this point. What I can do for you right now is I can get you a collection of potions to give to Mr. Potter to help for a few days and then I will come to see him. That will allow me to get a better assessment of things on his end and to see if what I have given him initially has helped with the paranoia and stress." said the Senior Healer with a smile. "I can also grab your medicine at the same time. Now let me get started so we can send you on your way."
He stood up, ran a diagnostic spell over her, nodding at the results, and then led her out into hallway. They went to a dispensary where he collected a number of potions, separating them into different groups and marking them with quick motions of his wand. He then handed her two lists he had written while he had been in the room. "There you go Miss Granger. I thank you for your questions and your interest into my field of study. I hope that these samples will help you with your research into this field. Take care and I hope to speak with you again."
Hermione smiled, pleased that the man understood her need for discretion. "Thank you Senior Healer Bainsley. You have been a great help."
She put everything into her expandable bag and headed downstairs. Once she got to the Floo departure point she went to go see Harry, as she was sure that he would appreciate being able to start this round of potions and to hear the good news. If it would help then everything would be better.
She walked out of the fire and into Grimmauld Place and was brushing soot off of herself when she called out, "Harry?"
Kreacher walked into the room and saw her. "Master Potter is in the shower now. Please have a seat until he is clean."
Hermione smiled. This was at least a better sign than when she had first come to the house. That showed at least some improvement in the depression he had been suffering. "That is good to hear. The house is looking much better Kreacher. You have been doing a wonderful job."
"Thank you."
Hermione had a seat and waited as she took out the bottles marked for Harry and the directions for him, setting them down on the coffee table. She also took out her own sheet of instructions and began going over it, looking over the directions for her own medications and the treatment plan. It seemed that the potions that Fleur had given her were fairly decent for a first round of treatment but not perfect. These were supposed to be much better to treat the lingering effects of the curse and much more aimed at dealing with the specific issues the curse caused, which made perfect sense. Anything that could help would be greatly appreciated as she was certainly tired of the nightmares and pain flares.
Shortly, Harry came down and into the room, looking healthier than he had the last time she had seen him, with fewer dark circles under his eyes. His hair was still a mess, but she figured that would never change. He smiled happily when he saw her, "Hermione, I'm glad to see you. Kreacher said you were here. What brings you over?"
"Well, I wanted to let you know that I found us a Healer that is happy to treat both of us and is willing to keep everything quiet. He is one of the Senior Healers at the hospital, which is a comfort. I explained everything to him and he understood things right off. Here are the potions that you need to start taking and the directions for taking them that should help with the more major issues you have been experiencing. After a few days of taking these, send him a message and he will come to see you in secret to do a more through exam." Hermione handed him over the sheet of parchment which explained everything.
"Hermione, you are brilliant. I can never say that enough. Thank you. I can never repay you." said Harry as he picked up the paper and began to scan it. "I always seem to owe my life to you."
"Coming to visit me at Hogwarts occasionally and keeping yourself out of trouble will be repayment enough. That will mean that you'll be better enough to be in the outside world which would be excellent." She smiled at him and he smiled back.
"Deal. So he thinks that these will help?" Harry lifted a few of the vials so he could read the labels.
"Yes he does. I have some for me as well which I am hoping work out well. We may never get completely better, if what I have read about these sorts of issues is any indication, but we can get past the worst of it and get back to having a life again," she assured him.
Harry came up and hugged Hermione, resting his head on her shoulder. His voice was soft, "Thank you. Thank you so very much. And thank you for speaking to Ginny for me. I… I still can't even think of talking to her. It makes me feel all jumpy and I just…."
"She is a bit hurt about all of this but she understands. She cares about you but has let you go, knowing that you are hurting. But so is she. What helps is the fact that she has already had a year to get over you. So she is starting to move on, so don't be too surprised to hear at some point that she is dating someone else." Hermione tightened her hold on his arms comfortingly.
"Yeah, I guess I am a bit of a tosser for doing all of this to her."
"You are but you are hurting so you get some slack for that reason. Just don't make a habit out of it." Hermione said with a slight laugh.
Harry grinned and said, "Thank you for taking care of her. You are a great friend to both of us."
Hermione smiled back. This was going better than she had hoped. She then looked thoughtful as an idea occurred to her. If it had worked with her than perhaps it could really help things with Harry. "You know, you might want to try talking to Luna about some of your worries. She has had to deal with loss as well, with her mother dying when she was young and the Malfoy's had her for a while. She might be someone you could open up to as well, who might understand a little of what you are going through. She really was helpful to me right afterwards and you said she was helpful to you after Sirius died."
Harry shook his head and smirked. "Hermione Granger actually recommending that someone go talk to Luna Lovegood on purpose about anything. The world must be coming to an end."
Hermione smacked him lightly on the arm. "Git."
"Ron taught me well."
That got them both laughing. Hermione looked at her watch and sighed. "Right, well, I need to go rescue Ginny. She went to go get a checkup with my parents so who knows how that is going."
"She went to go see dentists? Voluntarily?" Harry was clearly confused by this development. He had been to the dentists a few times, mostly because the Dursleys had been forced into it so he was familiar with them.
"Yes, she has been staying with me for a while, to get away from the Burrow for a bit. It also lets her get used to the muggle world a lot more and get away from everyone else in her family mourning Fred. This way she can mourn on her own and actually relax some," explained Hermione.
"That has to be fun." commented Harry.
"It has been. We have done a lot and she seems pretty fascinated with the muggle world, but not like her father. My parent's really like her and so does Perdita." replied Hermione with a smile.
"Who?" Harry clearly did not recognize the name.
"My owl." Hermione answered with a cheeky grin. "Since we haven't seen Crookshanks in a while and I've seen how useful they could be, thanks to Hedwig, I bought one in Australia while I was down there getting my parents. She is beautiful."
"I can't wait to meet her." said Harry with a pert grin, his eyes having more life in them than any time in the last year. It was a nice thing to see.
"I'll send you something soon then. And Harry, I do hope this treatment helps you enough that you can make it to the Burrow for your birthday. It really won't be the same without you." Hermione looked hopeful.
Harry just shrugged. "If this Healer really knows what he's talking about than it should work out. Besides, I think I just might take you up on that suggestion about Luna. She really is very understanding and helped out a lot after Sirius died. I guess I will plan on seeing you there?"
"Absolutely. And I will tell the Weasleys about your issues after your party, so they won't swarm you. And if you need anything else, just contact me. I will do anything you need."
"Thanks Hermione. I will. You're a lifesaver."
Hermione headed out to the back garden and disapparated to an alleyway that she had used before when she had recently traveled to her parents new dental clinic. This new office was in a nice location and actually a good bit more modern and up to date than the old one had been. They had been able to get their old house back thanks to Hermione casting a few spells to protect the property to a degree. It hadn't been easy and it had pushed her knowledge of spells at the time to the limit, but it had been important to her. She was very glad she had, as she would have missed her childhood home immensely. Being able to stay with Ginny in her old bed in her old room was special. Her parents had also been very appreciative of that as well. Another thing that had helped fix things between them.
Walking down the street to the building that housed the clinic she was thinking about how Ginny was faring with her parents. She was sure the girl was fine, but Hermione was wondering how the red head had done with the exam and all of that, and if she were able to keep from making any of the assistants question her sanity. Without any doubt she knew Ron would never be able to pull that off. He would never really be able to blend well in muggle society because he just never seemed to want to exert the effort necessary to learn much about it. It made her so crazy all the time. Had he not been aware that that was a part of her life and always would be? But he was no longer her problem anymore and that was actually a nice relief. Right now all she had to worry about was getting herself better which was a relief. Anything else might be a bit too much to deal with.
Hermione walked into the clinic and smiled at the receptionist as she headed to the back. She went to her parents shared office first to see if Ginny was waiting in there and there the red head was, sitting there happily, reading a book. Hermione smiled at the girl and said, "So how did everything go?"
Ginny looked up in surprise and then answered with a smirk, "Really well. Apparently I have no cavities but I need to… uhm… what was that word again… floss more."
"Did they show you how to do that or is that my job?" Hermione was shaking her head. She was almost certain what the answer was going to be given her parents. Some things were rather predictable.
"They said it's your job." said Ginny, clearly amused with all of this.
Hermione rolled her eyes. Her parents… seriously. "Fine. Are you ready to go?"
"Yes." Ginny stood and headed over to her. "So what's the plan."
"Well, let's go back to my house and get ready. And then I guess we can go swimming."
After they said goodbye to Hermione's parents and apparated back to the house the girls changed into their swimsuits. Hermione had to admit that Ginny looked really good in her one piece suit. The girl's athletic body, thanks to all of her training in Quidditch, really looked toned and there was a nice balance of muscle and curves. It was difficult for her to look away and not stare. She felt a good bit frumpier next to the Ginny, as she knew that she did not look nearly as good in her own suit. She was fit, as all the running, hiding and fighting of the last several years had ensured that, but it was nothing in comparison to the red head.
Once they were ready to go, and Hermione had hidden her scar under a variation of the disillusionment charm, Hermione said, "Right, so we are going to a nearby swimming facility. We can go to the bus stop and then it's a few stops away from here or we could walk, which should be longer. That should be fun."
"What is it going to be like?" asked Ginny, actually interested in this whole idea.
"I think I will keep it a surprise. Just don't be surprised if some boys try to chat you up." said Hermione with a smile.
Ginny looked surprised, as if that idea had never occurred to her before. "Really? You think so?"
"Remember there are a lot more muggles than witches and wizards." said Hermione. "So the odds of someone flirting with you are pretty high Gin. Besides, you look great."
Ginny grinned and winked at Hermione, standing in as sexy pose as she could manage. "Well, that's not too bad. A girl needs to get what love she can."
"Ginevra Molly Weasley!" Hermione was scandalized by the way that Ginny was acting.
The red head jumped and then glared at her. "Honestly 'mione, how can you make my name sound worse than my mother can?"
Hermione just grinned happily and walked out, whistling one of her favorite piano pieces. They took the bus, as it would be faster and they wanted to spend more time at the pool. The two girls had fun while they were there. Hermione was able to use her ability to cast wordless and wandless magic to apply the simple sunscreen charms to them so neither girl would get burned, despite Ginny already being a bit more sun exposed than she was. Playing in the pool was fun and they both got chatted up, which was a pleasant experience for both of them. She had never really been chatted up before as only Ron had shown interest in her back at school. It was nice but it didn't really do anything for her and she wasn't exactly sure why. It was a bit unsettling.
As they headed back to the Granger home, Hermione pondered this issue. Why would it be that flirting guys did nothing for her? It was a bit disconcerting. Was there something wrong with her? As far as she knew, she did not think there was anything wrong with her and she knew that she could tell that some boys and men were attractive. After all, she was well aware that Harry was attractive and there were male actors that were attractive as well. And honestly, if Lucius Malfoy never opened his mouth and just sat there doing what he was told, he would be perfectly good eye candy. Fundamentally it came down to the fact that men or boys just never really… moved her for want of a better term. Now that she really directed some thought towards it, the only sexually or partially sexual driven dreams she had were those dreams that kept eluding her, only yielding glimpses, teasing her with hints of something deeply passionate and fulfilling. Even snogging with Ron was not as intense as those dreams were. This entire situation was frustrating her and she couldn't think of any way to fix it or make sense of it.
"Hermione? Are you in there?"
She started a little at the sound of Ginny's voice. "Oh, sorry, yes?"
"We're almost at our stop. Honestly, haven't you heard a thing I have been saying?" asked Ginny somewhat amused but also a bit concerned.
"I'm sorry, I was a bit distracted." admitted Hermione, a bit shamefaced by that. She did not want Ginny to think that she wasn't paying attention to her after all.
"Clearly. What were you thinking about? You had your serious thinking face on." said Ginny, with a slight snerk.
"My what?" said Hermione, clearly surprised by that observation as they exited the bus.
"Your serious thinking face. I have noticed that you have several different types of thinking faces, from the casual thinking to the serious thinking, with a number of variations in between. I can usually even tell what topic you are studying by the particular thinking face you are wearing at the time. Haven't you ever noticed that I almost always walk up to you and ask you about the specific homework you are working on even though I might not be able to see the books you are working with?" clarified Ginny with a smile, walking backwards as she talked.
"Well, yes I had but I was sure you were noticing other things not my face." Hermione blushed at that. Had Ginny really noticed that? And did she really have different thinking faces?
"Well, those kinds of things tell me a lot, so I can be a better friend." Ginny shrugged. "You know, I never got why Ron has never picked up on some of that. I mean, really, it is just so obvious. I know Harry got some of them. He was the one who clued me in at first."
"Really?" This surprised Hermione, as Harry, while not as clueless as Ron, was not overly observant outside of the Quidditch pitch or combat. To be able to catch details like that shifted her appraisal of his general observation skills upwards several tics.
"Yes. We have talked about your thinking faces before. It was really quite funny. We both admitted that we like your Arithomancy face the best out of all of them. You look so cute with your face all scrunched up and your tongue sticking out as you are working on something." Ginny looked upwards as if she were recalling the exact image and she smiled happily, chuckling slightly. "I think your Ancient Runes face is my next favorite."
"I am glad that I could amuse you." Hermione's voice was flat, as she was slightly annoyed. Did she really do that with her face?
"It wasn't like that. It was during your sixth year, when Ron was being more of a prat than usual while snogging Lavender. Harry had noticed that you were brooding but you didn't have any of your usual thinking faces on that he was aware of and that worried him. So I filled him in on what you were brooding on." explained Ginny. "He was simply trying to be a better friend to you."
"Well, he really was. I wish I had been a better friend to him that year and had listened to him about Draco. So much would have changed if we had just listened to him and not ignored his warnings about Draco."
"Me too. I am sure we all do. We were all so caught up in our own lives that we sort of forgot about the war or tried to. Harry never did and the rest of us failed that year." Ginny sniffled some.
Hermione hugged her loosely and then let her go. "It's over and despite our mistakes we succeeded."
"But would we have lost fewer people if we hadn't been idiots?" Ginny's voice was quiet and sounded a bit shaken, as if that notion had been rolling around in her thoughts for a while.
Hermione moved forward and enveloped Ginny in a hug again, holding the girl against her. "I know Gin, I miss him too."
Ginny sniffled some more and relaxed into the hug, tears starting to flow more, sniffles turning to sobs. Hermione could feel a few tears on her neck but she chose not to mention them. It was not really all that important in the long run. Besides, she was well aware that Ginny liked to look strong especially when she wasn't. It probably had something to do with dealing with her small army of brothers who would have picked on her otherwise. Right now, away from her brothers and being held in her arms, was probably one of the few times where Ginny felt like she was allowed to let that barrier down. Hermione rubbed the red head's back, trying to calm the girl and make her feel better as Ginny let her grief out.
After a while, it seemed to work. Ginny pulled away and blushed, unable to meet Hermione's eyes, as she wiped the salty trails from her face. "Sorry."
"Don't be Gin. I understand. Letting go like that would be pretty much impossible for you at the Burrow. I am here for you any time if you want to talk or let it out, okay. Come on, let's go home, watch a movie, eat some ice cream and try to feel better about life. Okay?" Hermione smiled softly, her own eyes a little wet with tears. There had been so much loss and devastation all last year that Hermione was grieving a little bit as well. So many friends had died that she wished she could travel back in time to fix things.
Ginny smiled faintly as she finished wiping the tears from her face. "Yeah, that sounds like fun. Your mom has been telling us we needed to see Romeo+Juliet, so I guess we can see that one. It sounds interesting."
Hermione grinned, pleased that Ginny sounded interested in Shakespeare. The two girls walked arm in arm towards the Granger's and Hermione said, "Deal."