AN: Inspired by some lines from "The Last Train Home" by the LostProphets. Set after the Klaine fight outside of Scandals in "First Time".
Kurt leaned against the headboard of his bed, hugging a pillow to his chest. The fight that he'd had with Blaine in the parking lot of Scandals still playing through his head repeatedly. Blaine had been out of line with his actions in the car - pulling him into the car and wanting to 'do it'. He had even referenced Kurt's item number five on his bucket list with the lilacs in what came off as a mocking tone, even if it was the alcohol talking.
It wasn't that he didn't want to go all the way with Blaine, because as scared of the whole experience that he was, Blaine was the only guy he would want to try conquering that fear with. But not when Blaine was under the influence. Hell, only last year the guy had thought he might like Rachel because he kissed her playing spin the bottle while drinking. Talk about impaired judgement.
Not that he had been much better. Kurt realized he played the jealous boyfriend role perfectly. He had given in to going to a scene that wasn't him because he was trying to impress Blaine. Show him that he could be cool and fun just like Sebastian. But sneaking into bars wasn't him. Try as he might, he wasn't ever going to be anybody's Gaybar Superstar and if that was what Blaine was looking for than Kurt knew he was going to have to accept that.
That didn't mean he had to be happy about it though, Kurt thought as he buried his face in the pillow to muffle the sound of his sobs.