Author's Note: Sorry for the delay, but I think you all will appreciate this chapter enough to make up for the awful wait! We get to see more girl time between Avery and her friends, and even an angry Avery. Exactly why she's so angry, well you'll have to read to find out ;) I hope you guys enjoy, but let me know and leave a nice long review!

Warning: This chapter contains some pretty coarse language, so read at your own discretion!

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Chapter 18

Avery's POV:

"I just don't know guys", I said, anxiously chewing on my lower lip as my friends eyed me with poorly concealed concern. Currently, Penelope and Olivia were perched on my couch in their PJ's hanging onto my every word. After our first sleepover following my birthday party a few weeks ago we'd unanimously decided to make them a near monthly event. As I'd predicted, Olivia and Penelope were instant friends, and I couldn't have been more excited to find out that my best friend and my new friend (who was speedily working her way up to best friend) not only got along, but genuinely enjoyed hanging out together. Arrow and the rest of the team (sans Garcia obviously) were all out working some case or another in a different state, so I'd decided that this weekend was the best time for our second girl's night. We had put all the kids to bed hours ago, and were contentedly lounging in the living room chatting about anything and everything.

To my discomfort, the group's focus was now on me as I tried to explain the complexity that was Spencer and I's relationship, or lack there-of. In the past weeks following my party there had been a change in the way that he behaved around me; subtle, but wholly worrisome nonetheless. He still texted me every day, but that was about the only thing that had stayed constant with him. Before, he and I tended to stand near each other as often as we could, but now he seemed to keep a far distance from me at all times. He never got close to me, in any situation, and If his arm did happen to brush mine for any reason, he would jump like he had been burned or something. I was confused and more than a little hurt by the way he'd been acting, but refused to say anything about it to him. If this was what he wanted, then who the hell was I to make him feel bad about it?

"I mean it's been like three weeks, and I'm starting to think I dreamt the whole thing", I fussed nervously. They both frowned at me and Penelope shook her head.

"No no no if there is one thing on this Earth that I know it's, well it's computers… but outside of that I know for a fact that Dr. Spencer Reid has the biggest puppy-love crush on you!" she babbled. I shrugged sadly in response.

"I think 'had' would be the more appropriate way to say that Pen. He 'had' a crush on me, and now he's moved on", I argued.

"Yeah, no. Av you don't see the way he still looks at you. It's so freaking romantic that it's like something straight out of some kind of sappy Lifetime movie", Olivia exclaimed dramatically. I rolled my eyes at her, but felt my face flush nonetheless. I smiled a little bit at the idea of Spencer's eyes on me, but quickly shook it off.

"Really? Then what's with all the crazy weird distance lately? I mean we only kissed that one time, but jeez you'd think he'd at least let our damn arms touch for longer than a half a second", I sassed huffily. This time it was Olivia's turn to roll her eyes.

"Oh I don't know, maybe cause a certain freak of a geek told him that she wanted things to happen more slowly?" she said pointedly. I felt the sass fade from my face as realization dawned on me. I clasped my hands over my face and groaned loudly.

"Okay I'm an idiot", I mumbled, the sound dulled from behind my hands. Of course Spencer was going to take things slowly, that's what I'd freaking asked him to do! Being the sweetheart he was, he'd taken everything to heart and done everything he could to slow our physical relationship down. Somehow, knowing that made the weight of uncertainty and sadness lift from my shoulders. Penelope patted my shoulders sympathetically, and Olivia clapped her hands.

"Okay! Now that that stress fest is over, I vote we return to my original question: are you going to sing at church tomorrow?" Olivia asked. I laughed, the question had long since been forgotten, though I did remember her asking early on. But one side comment had led to another, which had ultimately somehow led us to talking about Spence. Not that it took much coaxing for me to talk about my favorite genius, but it was funny how far off topic we'd strayed.

"Yeah. I mean I am in the choir now", I answered. It was true, in the time it had taken me to convince Derek to go to Olivia's church with me was the exact amount of time it took for her to volunteer me to sing on Sundays with the choir. Not that I minded, I loved to sing and Olivia knew I'd probably never sign up on my own. She nodded approvingly, meanwhile Penelope looked like she was going to blow a gasket.

"You like to sing!" she practically exploded. I raised an eyebrow at her sudden enthusiasm, but noncommittally nodded. Olivia rolled her eyes again, a bad habit I'm sure she was quickly taking from me, and interjected before I'd even opened my mouth.

"Oh please. This child loves to sing, and I'll be damned if she's gonna sit here and act like she doesn't", she sassed. I stuck my tongue out at her childishly, a gesture that she soon returned. Penelope just seemed to ignore our foolishness, and excitedly waved her hands.

"So you do? Oh my goodness I have the best idea ever!" she gushed. "I may or may not have headlined a production at this tiny little theatre downtown that may or may not be holding auditions in the next few weeks for our summer musical!" she practically screamed with a grin so large I thought her face would break. I smiled out of sheer amusement at her clear happiness, but managed to give my most sympathetic face in spite of the smile.

"Pen, as much as I would love to do a musical, and I really would, I don't see how that would work out", I said honestly. "I mean I work all day, and I have the kids pretty much to myself most nights since the team's been out of town so much". It was true, the team had been gone for at least a week now out of the three that had passed since the party. I could tell it was starting to weigh on Arrow that he wasn't here as much as he'd liked, and I also could plainly see that he didn't want me alone. Ever. As much as I wanted to believe that this impromptu sleepover really just that, impromptu, I had a feeling that Arrow had coaxed Penelope into asking to stay this weekend. Each time he'd been gone she suddenly wanted to hang out, and if not her then JJ would suddenly decide to stay back to hang out. I appreciated their concern, but it was beginning to be somewhat stifling to never be alone. I'd gone from having next to no companions, other than my kids, to never having a single second to myself. I loved my new friends, I really did, but in my opinion there was nothing to worry about. I'd only ever received that one letter, and that was all of a month ago. Maybe my stalker had decided I really wasn't all I was cracked up to be and backed off. Either way I saw no reason I couldn't take care of my family alone; I was a grown ass woman for goodness sakes.

"Well rehearsals are only like three nights a week for a few hours, so it wouldn't interfere with work, and I'm sure that I could watch the little darlings while you're away", Penelope pressed. I frowned.

"Aren't you auditioning? Won't you have to be there too?" I asked curiously. She shook her head.

"Singing/dancing isn't my gig. I'm just doing makeup, so I won't need to be there until dress rehearsals", she explained. I still furrowed my brow.

"I would love to, I really would but that's a lot of time away from my kids", I fussed. Three nights a week sounded like a lot of time away, given that I was with them every night. Olivia frowned at me.

"Avery. You see them all day every day, and all night. It would not kill you to spend three nights a week to yourself. Seriously. You're the best mom in the world, but please take some time to yourself", Olivia said gently. I softened my expression. It was true, I could use a little me time. Plus I really did love musicals; maybe this was a better idea than I'd thought. Penelope nodded in vehement agreement.

"Yeah. What she said", she grinned. I smiled.

"I'll think about it", I promised. Penelope squealed and threw her arms around me. Knocked a little off balance by her sudden embrace, I giggled. I was secretly excited at the prospect of doing something creative and fun, for myself for once.

SPENCERANDAVERYSPENCERANDAVERYSPENCERANDAVERYSPENCERANDAVERYSPENCERANDAVERY

The week following the sleepover was one of the most taxing I'd had for a while. Amelia was teething, which meant she was the fussiest I'd ever seen her. Anytime there wasn't a toy in her mouth she cried, and she refused all her food that wasn't from a bottle. Henry and Jack were coming down with colds, so they were cranky as well, and while Arrow was back in town he was working practically all the time. So to say I was stretching my patience thin was a gross understatement. At least I'd finally gotten my driver's license in the mail; I'd passed the test two weeks ago, but the actual card finally arrived, giving me more freedom than I'd ever thought possible. Although I still wasn't ever really alone, if anything the team had been even more on my ass now that I didn't need a driver everywhere. I'd been thinking more and more about the musical, and the more I thought the more appealing it seemed. I really did love singing, and it seemed that if anyone deserved a break it was me. Besides who knew if I'd even get in, they were called auditions for a reason, and there was no guarantee. So I'd called Penelope near the beginning of the week to tell her I was in. She squealed so loudly I'd had to hold the phone nearly a foot away from my face. She eagerly said she'd print out my audition song's sheet music for me so I could practice as soon as I wanted (the audition wasn't for another few weeks).

Currently, I was on my way to the BAU to get the sheet music from her. It was my lunch break from work, and I'd decided to bring Arrow some lunch too. He was starting to show signs of stress, and I swear he looked thinner. So I decided to be the good little niece and bring some food for him; it was the least I could do. As I parked the car, I mentally wondered if Spencer was around today. I wanted to speak with him and tell him that when I said we should slow down that that didn't mean he couldn't even stand near me. To be honest I'd missed having him near me, and I thought we were ready to start taking some steps forward, like maybe even a date of some kind? Not that I could come right out and ask him out, no way. That was a guy thing, and besides what if he'd reevaluated and no longer wanted a relationship? Had we ever even been in one to begin with? Gah.

With all my thinking, I suddenly realized I'd made it into the office without noticing. I looked around and spotted Spencer looking at me with a joyful expression from his little cubicle. I waved cheerily and walked over. As I approached him, he stood up and without asking I gave him a tight hug. He seemed taken aback at first, but eventually relaxed into the embrace, placing his arms naturally around my shoulders. I sighed contentedly; I hadn't realized how much I'd really missed having his arms around me until just now. I finally stepped back, and found Spencer's sweet grin plastered all over his face. I couldn't help but grin back; clearly he'd missed hugging me as well.

"I missed your hugs", I said, playfully shoving him a little. He smiled sheepishly, and ran a hand through his hair before placing it in his pocket. There, I'd told him to knock off the distance, in my own way anyways. I think he got the idea, because he stood quite near to me as I grinned at him like an idiot.

"Me too", he admitted softly, and I felt a million butterflies erupt in my stomach. I opened my mouth to reply, but was quickly interrupted.

"AVERY", I heard an unmistakable voice shout from behind me. I turned to find Penelope briskly walking towards us waving some papers in her hands. I smiled and waved, and Spencer just chuckled.

"I swear they heard that all the way across town", he said good-naturedly. I giggled.

"I'm sure they're used to it by now", I said cheerfully.

"Here it is Av. Your very own sheet music", Garcia said, slightly out of breath from practically running to me. I smiled and said my thanks as I took a look at the paper. Spencer looked between the two of us quizzically, his brow raised.

"Sheet music? For what?" he asked. Garcia was still out of breath, so I answered.

"Garcia convinced me to audition for a musical at her theatre", I summarized. Penelope just nodded.

"Yeah and I'm super happy for you, but I have to get back to the Bat-Cave now, there are a ton of things for me to nerd-ify and I gotta get to it", she explained, kissing my cheek and hurrying off in the other direction. I raised a brow, and waved to her now retreating form.

"Uh okay. That was weird", I stated, turning back to Spencer. He had a worried look on his face, and seemed like he had something to say. "What?" He hesitated before responding.

"It's just. I don't know if a stage performance is the best idea for you right now", he said carefully. Seeing I'm sure the confused look on my face, he backtracked quickly. "Not that you wouldn't be magnificent in" he looked down at the sheet music in my hands, "The Phantom of the Opera, I actually really enjoy almost all stage and film adaptions of that book, but I just don't think now's the time", he finished. I tried to give him the most understanding look I could, but in truth I was beginning to get annoyed with walking on eggshells around my whole life.

"Look Spence I get that you guys are all weirdly protective of me, and that's sweet and all, but I'm a grown woman. I can make my own choices", I said as carefully as I could. "I haven't heard from that crazy man in over a month, and I think he's decided to move on, and I want to too. Plus I need some time for me, and this is the best way to do it", I finished calmly. He didn't look convinced, and began clearly his throat and running his fingers through his hair again. As adorable as I found that, I wasn't backing down. The team had no business trying to make my decisions for me, and I meant business about this. I got the feeling that there was more Spencer wanted to say by the way he looked, but since he seemed to momentarily be at a loss for words, I decided to complete the task I'd come here to do.

"Well I gotta go give this to Arrow quick", I said, switching topics and holding up the bag I'd brought in. "See you on my way out?" He nodded absentmindedly, as if he was thinking about something else, and I took that as my cue to leave. I quickly walked up the stairs to the conference room (noticing that Arrow wasn't in his office), and had my hand on the door when I heard Spencer quickly yell,

"Avery, wait!"

I frowned and opened the door as I turned to see what he wanted. He motioned for me to come back down. I shook my head.

"I'll be right back!" I yelled down. He looked frantic and I briefly saw him start towards the stairs before I entered the room. The team was all sitting in their usual spots around the table, but they jumped up from their seats as soon as they saw me, and I frowned deeper. What was everyone's problem? I stepped further inside, Spencer right behind me, and began to speak to Arrow,

"Hey, I just thought I'd come and bring you some…" I started to explain before I trailed off. I saw what was causing all this fuss; what was in right in front of everyone that they'd tried to keep me from seeing. Arrow put his hands up, as if to caution me, and Morgan and Prentiss stood warily as I took in the sight in front of me. On the white board where the team collected the evidence for their cases was not just the letter I'd found from my stalker, but two more. Clearly addressed to me, clearly from the same guy. I felt all my emotions at once; fear, anger, rage, panic, distress, disbelief all swirling in my shocked mind.

"Avery…", Derek started to say, but I raised a hand to silence him as my emotions dissolved in pure anger rushing through my body. How dare they? How. Fucking. Dare. They. How long had I been lulled into false security? How much more was there being kept from me?

"Are you fucking kidding me", I spoke in a deadly quiet voice. No one said anything; they were all seemingly at a loss for words, so I seized the opportunity. "ARE YOU SERIOUS? How fucking long has this been going on? None of you considered that I'd want to know about this?! This is fucking disgusting I thought I could trust you! You've all lied to my damn face for God knows how long, and now you have nothing to say?! Fuck this", I raged as I turned to leave. Spencer looked guilty as hell standing in front of the door, and I paused to give him full view to the hurt and betrayal that was shining through my every pore.

"I can't believe you played along with this Spence", I said more quietly than I'd intended, but in truth the rage I felt was giving way to complete hurt. I felt like all the trust I'd had in my new friends was completely gone. I brushed past Spencer, who looked sadder than I'd ever seen him, and all but ran to my car.

As I drove back to work and finished my shift I couldn't help but let my thoughts run wild; I felt beyond confused and sad. As we got the kids ready to go outside to the playground I was completely distracted. I was so stupid to think something like this would just go away overnight. And this totally explained why everyone had been so instant that I never stay home alone. I felt like such an idiot for believing that I could have a normal life. And Spencer…

Fuck.

He'd lied to me as well, and I'd never suspected a thing. I was so dumb! He lied straight to my face, and never batted an eye. How could he do that to me? I thought he liked me. As the kids all excitedly filed outside I checked my phone for the time. I had about 20 missed calls from each of the team members, and a slew of text messages from Spencer. I replaced my phone in my pocket; even if I could have my phone out at work I wasn't ready to speak to any of them. I didn't even want to go home; Arrow was going to be there, and I had no intentions of talking this out anytime soon. I decided to try to push away my thoughts, as they were starting to circle and give me a headache. I threw all my energy into what I was best at, taking care of kids. I happily played with my three year olds, ignoring all the pain in my heavy heart. As I stood underneath the twisty slide, I noticed a little girl, Peyton, leaning way too far out of the side. I started to yell for her to sit down, but it was too late. I ran towards her as I watched her tiny body fly over the uppermost part of the slide. I managed to catch her before she hit the ground, but felt myself fall backwards as well. I heard a distinctly metallic crash, and recognized the taste of blood in my mouth before I felt my world slip into complete darkness.