Chapter 21

Avery's POV:

After my talk with Morgan, I could feel Spencer's eyes on me. Not trusting myself to actually look at his face, I'd stared straight ahead until, thankfully, a nurse noticed that I was awake and came in to check some things. I still, kept eyes forward, avoiding Spencer's gaze completely. I was afraid if I looked at him, either he'd look so morose that I would lose my resolve to not forgive everyone too quickly, or even worse he'd look fine. Knowing he was fine while I was losing my mind would be way too much to handle.

"Good to see you're awake, I was just coming in here to wake you up. How are you feeling sweetie?" the middle aged nurse asked kindly. I briefly looked up to smile at her.

"I'm alright. My side was bothering me before, but other than that I just have a big headache", I explained. She nodded. She must have caught my gaze as it was looking pointedly everywhere in the small room, other than Spencer, because she turned to face him (and Morgan who had joined him).

"Okay boys, I need to help Avery with some things, check some of her vitals, so I need you to wait outside until I've finished. Alright?" she said kindly, but authoritatively. I heard Derek murmur his agreement, but I didn't relax my stare until I heard the door click shut. I felt myself let out a big breath of air that I hadn't known that I had been holding. The nurse gave me an empathetic look.

"Trouble with your friends?" she asked as she checked my IV. I grimaced

"I guess you could say that", I replied carefully. She looked at me for a second, and suddenly I found myself pouring out the entire situation. I explained everything, and she simply sat on the edge of my bed and listened intently as I spilled my guts. I didn't explain the whole stalker thing (some things you just keep to yourself) but I eluded to the fact that they'd all lied about something very important. After I was finished, I couldn't believe that I'd just told everything to a nurse that I didn't even know. Maybe it was because she looked so kind and so welcoming; maybe it was because I didn't have anyone else to talk to about this. Other than Olivia (who I couldn't even call given the fact I didn't know where my cell phone was) all the people I knew here were the ones that I wanted to talk about. Whatever it was, the nurse didn't seem to mind, and she waited patiently until I was done talking before she spoke.

"Honey that sounds like a tricky situation. And I don't blame you for being hurt; being lied to is always tough. And it sucks to feel like you were cheated out of the truth, but I don't think you're as angry as you think", she said slowly. I must have furrowed my brow, because she raised a hand before continuing. "I think you're hurt, there's no doubt about that, but I think you're just scared. It's scary to trust someone at all, and completely trusting people is even harder. Sometimes you have to learn to trust the people you love even though they did something questionable. You have to trust that it was probably for a good reason. It sounds to me like your friends were just trying to help you out—I know they went about it all wrong" she continued quickly, seeing me open my mouth to speak. I closed my mouth letting her words sink in for a while. Maybe the team really did have my best interests in mind; I mean this was their job. Maybe they knew something about my situation that I didn't. Realizing I hadn't spoken in a while, I smiled at the nurse.

"Thanks for talking to me. I needed a reality check I suppose. What's your name by the way? I can't believe I haven't asked yet" I said, suddenly shy. She chuckled, and stood to begin writing some of my vitals on her clipboard.

"No problem sweetheart. I've had 3 daughters, all grown. I know how to tell when someone's got something on their mind. And my name's Niki" she said. I smiled, and motioned for her to sit again, and started some small talk, until there was a knock at the door. Niki looked at me, and I nodded.
"Come in", she said loudly. The door opened to reveal Arrow standing there with Spencer hesitantly standing behind him.

"Avery, is this okay?" Arrow asked in that quiet voice I'd only heard him use at work. I nodded, and he and Spencer walked in. Arrow walked straight up to the bed and sat down, while Spencer sat further away in another chair.

"How are you feeling?" Arrow asked softly. Spencer's eyes got a little wider, clearly remembering the way I'd bit Derek's head off. I felt a little guilty, and silly for reacting so poorly.

"I'm okay. I'm confused, but physically I feel okay", I replied softly. Arrow nodded.

"You have every right to be angry with us. I understand that what we did was very upsetting, but you have to know that we only had your best interests in mind", he replied quickly. I nodded once more.

"I know that. I apologize for the way that I reacted this morning, it was harsh. But I also am still sort of hurt by the way that the whole situation was handled. I'm not angry anymore, but I don't think I'm completely over it. But I'm willing to work on our trust again if you guys are too", I said evenly. Arrow was nodding the whole time, and Spencer's eyes betrayed a deep sense of relief that I was grateful to see.

"I'm so happy and relieved that you feel that way Avery" Arrow said sincerely. "I was afraid you would wake up still feeling angry and hurt, or worse that you wouldn't wake up at all", he finished looking down. My heart reached out to him.

"I'm sorry I caused everyone so much worry" I said honestly. "And I did wake up that way, so if you see Derek, let him know I'm sorry for how I treated him earlier". I looked between Arrow and Spencer until they both nodded. I opened my mouth to speak again when I felt myself yawn. As I took in that breath, my entire right side ignited with the same pain I'd felt earlier, but somehow more intense. As I doubled over once more, I felt someone grab my hand hurriedly, while I heard Arrow call my name. Once the pain subsided I looked up to see Niki standing by the IV and toying with it. I looked at my hand to find that it wasn't Arrow holding it, but Spencer. I looked at him, slightly shocked at the sudden contact with his big, soft hand. Interpreting my expression in the wrong way, he quickly withdrew his hand, muttering and apology.

"It's okay sweetie, your meds were just wearing off", Niki explained. "Try not to take such big breaths from now on, okay? Your broken ribs aren't pressing on anything important, but it'll be that sore for a few days, so take it easy".

"I have a broken ribs?" I asked sleepily. I could feel the coolness of the drugs working their way through my system. I thought I saw Niki nod.

"Yes and a concussion, but we can discuss that when I come to wake you up next" she said. "For now, just try to rest now. Those meds should be working their way soon". I started to panic, and I turned to Arrow and Spencer.

"You guys….you…you can't leave. Don't…DON'T….don't leave me. Please." I slurred as I felt the waves of comfort wash over me, pulling me away. I grabbed Arrow's hand like a lifeline, because at this moment it was. I thought I heard him say something, but I was already back in the waves, feeling numb and free. It was the first time that I'd felt safe in a while. I felt no pain, I felt good, I felt safe.

Until he showed up.

I pictured my stalker, just like in my other nightmares, as a big hulking man in a black hoodie, with evil looking green eyes. He grinned at me like a fucking Cheshire cat, and began walking towards me, slowly. Seeing him, I began to run, as fast as I could without looking back. As I ran, I felt the ground move underneath me, pulling me back in towards him. No matter how fast I ran, faster and faster, he always seemed to gain on me until I felt his cold, large hands on the back of my neck. I screamed, and I felt him throw me to the ground, laughing as he did. How long had he been chasing me? It felt like hours, maybe days. I screamed again, for Arrow, for Spencer, for Morgan. He cackled and threw me into a new room, before slowly stomping into the room as well, and shutting the door. I screamed once more before feeling his hands on my shoulders.

"Avery!" I heard Spencer's voice shout. I tried to turn and look for him, but the weight of my stalker was too much. He began to shake my shoulders gently. And I heard Spencer's voice again, but this time more urgently.

"Avery!"

"Spencer help me!" I screamed. My stalker began to shake my shoulders more vigorously and I wondered what he was doing. I flailed my arms and legs and screamed for Spencer again before closing my eyes.

"Avery!" I opened my eyes to see Spencer over me, hands on my shoulders. I sat up, ignoring my pain, scanning around the whole room for my stalker over and over.

"He's here Spencer, he's here. He wants to hurt me, don't let him hurt me" I pleaded, grabbing his hand in terror. He placed his other hand on my cheek gently, rubbing my face with his thumb, his features displaying only understanding.

"Avery. There is no one here but me and you", he said seriously. As my eyes darted out to scan the room in fright, he used his hand to gently pull my face back to facing him. "I promise that there is no one here. There never was, you were having a nightmare. And even if someone was here, you need to believe that I would never let anyone hurt you" he promised. I grabbed his hand even tighter.

"Stay with me" I pleaded. He nodded vigorously and pulled a chair close to the bed, and grabbed my other hand.

"I'm not going anywhere Avery. I promise you" he said. I shook my head, and he furrowed his brow.

"I need you to be up here with me" I said. Sensing the hesitation I continued, "I just need you to be here, and hold me. To keep the nightmares away". He looked conflicted.

"Avery, you have broken ribs. Me being up there with you could possible detrimentally damage your healing process", he said unsure. I felt my eyes well up. He had to lay with me. I couldn't explain it, but I just knew that the only way that I would feel safe was if he was as close to me as possible.

"Please?" I breathed. He let out a deep breath, and climbed up. I carefully scooted over to allow him room before laying on my side. He placed an arm around my waist, and I turned (slowly) so that I was facing him before laying my head down on his chest and sighed, comfortable. No matter how angry and hurt I'd been, I couldn't help but be elated to be in Spencer's lanky arms once more. Something about him made me feel safe and calm in a way I couldn't put into words. I tightened my grip on his sides, and burrowed into his chest a little further. He sighed in contentment.

"I was so worried", he said finally after a few moments of silence. I steadied my breathing waiting for him to continue. "I was so worried, that you wouldn't wake up. Rationally, scientifically I knew you would. But something about seeing you so fragile and vulnerable shook me. I felt irrationally anxious that something was really wrong. And I was also worried that when you did wake up…I was afraid you wouldn't want to see me anymore. That you wouldn't want to associate with me. And that was equally terrifying, and much more probable; that would seriously hurt me Av", he said brokenly. I took a deep breath of his scent, and tilted my head up to find that his eyes were red rimmed. Frowning, I opened my mouth to speak, before he shook his head and started speaking quickly.

"I just, I knew you would be upset when you found out about the other letters, and I didn't feel comfortable lying to you so I decided distancing myself from you was my only option. That too felt wrong in its own right however, which was unexpected and difficult. I didn't expect to miss talking to someone that I'd only met a few months ago, yet here we are and I'm so sorry Avery, I'm so so sor..."

He was rambling, babbling and I knew he was never going to breathe until I stopped him, so I did the only thing I could think to do to make his mouth stop moving.

I kissed him.

This kiss was nothing like the kiss we'd previously shared. This kiss meant something. There was an underlying hint of relief and comfortablility that we hadn't had before. This kiss was so much more than a furious lip lock, this was a meaningful, sweet tender kiss. I felt him respond immediately, and I only broke apart when I began to run out of air (not willing to take any large breaths).

"Sorry to stop you like that, but you were rambling, and I need you to know that I'm not angry anymore", he looked relieved and confused all at once, and gave me a look that clearly said to continue. "I don't know it was just more of a lack of trust on my part as well as you guys breaking trust. I'm not totally over it, but I want you to understand that I believe you too. I could feel that something was off lately, and now I know why you were acting so weird. It helps knowing that you didn't go along with it really. And really, I promise that we will be okay", I said sincerely. He breathed out a breath of air I didn't know he'd been holding and kissed my forehead.

"I'm so happy to hear you say that", he said into my hair. I smiled and laid on his chest once more, yawning as I did so.

"We can tell the team too. I'm sure I freaked you all out", I said sadly. He chuckled.

"We certainly can tell them later, but for now you need to sleep while you can. Because of your concussion the nurse will have to wake you up every few hours to check on you, and I would guess she'll be back in a while. So I'll get off of here and leave you to it", he said plainly. I started to breathe quickly, and I tightened my grip on his waist to prevent him from leaving.

"No! Stay please", I said quickly. He sent me and exasperated look. "Look I just can't explain it but I can't be alone up here, okay? And it's really comforting to have you hold me, and … I don't know. I just…you can't leave me", I whispered. He looked at me compassionately before staring directly into my eyes.

"Avery the nurse, the team, and Hotch will be back soon. What will they do if they see me up here?" he asked. I shook my head against his chest.

"I don't care Spence", I said defiantly. "I need you up here. Do you care?" I said sleepily. I really was exhausted, but I couldn't go to sleep until I was sure he wouldn't leave me. I felt him shake his head.

"Not really no", I heard him reply.

"Stay with me", I muttered. He chuckled and kissed my forehead once more.

"Go to sleep, love", he whispered in my ear. I got chills in my spine in the most delicious way, but I tightened my grip to make moving difficult for him. "I'm not going anywhere, focus on sleeping. I'll be right here when you wake", I heard faintly as I drifted into a dreamless, peaceful sleep.

Author's Note: FINALLY I could write in some fluff for you guys! Sorry if it seemed like Avery was overly angry for what she found out, I just really feel that as someone with a sketchy parental structure, trust would be very important to her. But good thing she also loves the team enough to see things from their side J I hope this chapter wasn't toooo bad, and let me know what else you wanna see in the upcoming chapters and I just may write in something for one of you J Read and Review!