2025 Nick

Debbie takes the bus with me so we're on our way to San Fransisco at first. I'm looking at my notes. My plan is amazing, as it should be as I've really worked hard on it. I needed a past time both for home and for school in the last couple of weeks. We could take the train too, but I chose the bus because this way less people see us. As much as I would like to believe that no one really cares about me, I know that my parents will be looking for me, especially now, that I'm with Debbie. She doesn't look scared but she barely talks to me. The bus ride is long and boring so Debbie starts to read her schoolbooks. I'm still working on my plan, it looks like I can not get rid of Debbie, so I have to recalculate everything including her. I highly doubt that she will be useful as she is only a spoiled little girl. A spoiled little girl who can ruin not just my life at school, but my long desired roadtrip too.

We both ate our packed lunch, but at the end of our ride we're still hungry.

It's the middle of the afternoon when we arrive to San Fransisco finally. It's really good to stretch myself out a little. We go to a McDonalds to eat something. It's not the most nutritious food, but it's cheap and at least we can blend in easily with the crowd as kids. As we set down to a table Debbie tries to convince me to go back home.

" Nick, please, our parent's now surely recognized that we're not home. It was fun to scare them, but it's getting dark. We should call them. Or find a bus back to Pasadena. "

" No. You've seen my plans. I'm going through with it. " I say. She can't believe that I'm that easy to convince.

" Nick, you're being totally insane. This trip… It's impossible." she says while she dips her french fries into the barbecue dip. Who orders a barbecue dip? It's disgusting.

" No, it's not. Impossible is the story of Noah from the Bible or to travel back in time or you being nice with other people. But my trip is not only possible but it's happening right now." I show her my witty smile.

" Please! We don't even have food. I don't even have clothes with me. "

That's almost funny. She is eating french fries literally right now.

" We're in a McDonalds and you're eating right now that disgusting barbecue dip, and you're complaining about starving!

And I know, you must be totally happy with your life. You have your little fans at schools and you can go and be mean and bully anyone you like to and I'm sure it's great, but have you never really wanted to go on a real adventure? " I ask.

" You know I'm not happy with my life! You are the only one who knows! And of course I wanted to go on an adventure, but it's winter and I don't even have my warm coat with me. "

" Come on, it's not working like this. You know, it's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." I say. I bet she don't know what I'm talking about.

" Are you really quoting Lord of the Rings? " she asks.

" Yes, in fact, I was. I'm surprised that you recognized. "

" Dad is obsessed with that old fantasy thing. He reads that as a bedtime story. Mom is arguing with him a lot about it. Anyway, I'm not into it that much. " she explains.

" Same here. Dad's obsessed, but I'm not a fan. " I say.

" And you want me to believe that? You just quoted that. "

" I have eidetic memory. I can't help but remember. Now, let us step into the night and pursue that filthy temptress, adventure! "

Debbie rolls her eyes.

" Fine. I promised I'll go with you, plus you sure need me, but stop quoting old fantasy, I said, I hate it. "

" For the record, I don't need you. And I was just quoting that because it fits the situation. But sure, let's go. We should throw you're books away before our next bus leaves. "

" Throw my books away? Are you insane? I need them for school! " Now she's almost shouting which is really bad if you want to stay in incognito.

" But now we're not going to school. And the insane thing is going through the country with a lot of schoolbooks when we actually need that space for more useful items. "

She shakes her head, but doesn't say a word. After we order another big pile of food, she follows me to the Bay. We have to throw the books into the water or else they'll find them. I'm sure they've found our phones in the dumpster at Union Station, but that's okay, we used our credit cards there too, they must know we've been there. I avoided security cameras and chose a time period when a lot of buses were leaving so they can't know we're here. Now we're traveling really-really secretly.

" It's really humiliating. Filthy Nicki is making me throw my stuff away. " she says as the water swallows her mathbook up. She almost cries.

" You wanted to go with me. Now handle the consequenses. "

She nods. She doesn't want me to see her cry, I know. Then she becomes angry.

" Okay, Nick, I'll go with you, because I don't know what else to do and maybe I think my parents should worry a little too. And I'll handle the consequences. But everything you're doing with me, you'll pay the price, once we're home. Don't you ever think that things will change at school! They won't. When we're back, at school, we won't be friends. No matter how many times do we have a nice chat or how many times I'll need you for food or money, I won't like you. Never. Ever. "

I shrug my shoulders. I don't know what kind of a reaction is she waiting for.

" It's okay for me. I don't want you to like me. I want you to let me go on my trip. If you can only do so if you're coming too, it's okay too. Believe me, you're not that gorgeous, and not everyone wants you to like them. Now let's go. It's getting dark. And you know we have to travel overnight. "

" Why travelling overnight? " she asks.

" Because this way we don't need to check into a hotel and risk getting caught and we don't have to spend the night on the streets and risk getting murdered. "

" Good. But how do you want to explain to the driver that two two-graders will travel through the night? "

" Have you really read my plans? " Was he lying or is she that stupid?

" I have. I don't have eidetic memory like you. You know, I'm not a freak. "

So the answer is she is that stupid.

" I'm not a freak either. And we'll tell a story to the driver that our Mom got into a hospital…"

" Wait, what do you mean by our Mom? " she stops.

" Yes, we have to pretend to be brother and sister. "

" Ughh, it's nasty. " Debbie frowns.

" Yeah, the thought of us being blood-related disgusts me also. But this is the best solution. So our Mom got into a hospital with epileptic seizures and all our family lives in… so Dad drove us to the bus station to go there and our Aunt will wait for us in … . Then when we arrive we are going to go and find a friendly looking older woman in the crowd and ask her directions to the bathroom and ask her to go with us. This way the driver will think she's our Aunt. Then we'll get rid of the woman somehow. " I explain.

" I'll admit, that's actually smart. "

" I think you were just calling me smart without irony the first time ever. Maybe you're not a monster, after all. " I say.

" It was the first and the last time, if you keep calling me monster. "

" Fine, then let's go, Ms Wolowitz. " I say. I try to sound enthusiastic and not to care about the small voice in my head telling me to go home immediately.

2025 - Amy and Sheldon

Amy has been really focused all day according to Sheldon. The crying, desperate mother with whom he spent the night seemed to disappear for the day and gave her place to the old, rational Amy. The day went by uneventful except that they found Nick's phone in a dumpster. Only late in the afternoon after Howard and Bernadette said goodbye to them again and they did anything that's possible to find a child started to recognize how wasted Amy started to look again. He trusted that Nick will go home eventually or at least he wasn't even able to think about the other option.

In the afternoon they picked up Dory together from preschool. She was suspicious that something was going on. It was a short ride, but Dory asked where Nick was and they avoided to answer. Then they told him in the afternoon that he ran away. She seemed surprised and then angry with Nick. Sheldon tried to be there for her too, but he felt like, he can't offer enough consolation. He and Amy both forced themselves to stay positive in front of their daughter and they explained that the police will surely find Nick or he will surely go home eventually, but they were not able to completely hide their own desperation. Dory really didn't get why aren't they more angrier with Nick, because not only running away but not going to school and stealing, but they barely could explain that. Amy said to her that they all were having hard times, and sometimes kids do thing at hard times, which are bad but no one should be mad about it. Dory was telling her that she is in this family too and she didn't do anything that bad, so Nick is not allowed to either. That was logical, so Sheldon and Amy looked at each other helplessly and they told her, that she only will understand this when she'll become older. That was an answer Dory hated, so she ran upstairs to her room.

After Amy and Sheldon shared a worried look, he went after her and brought her down back in his arms. First she was against it and tried to free herself but then he started tickling her, then slightly throwing her up in the air, which made her giggle.

They all tried to act really normal after that, they watched cartoons with her, played with her boardgames. Sheldon ordered some chinese for dinner. No one was talking about it, but they all felt the lack of Nick's presence.

After Sheldon checked that Dory brushed her teeth properly, they put her into bed. She was a good sleeper usually, but now it felt ages that she finally got asleep, as Amy was gently stroking her forehead, slowly humming to her. As she let her go, Dory woke up immediately, so she had to start all over again, this time waiting ten minutes after she fell asleep. Sheldon was watching them, sitting on Dory's chair and sending email to bus companies on his phone.

After that he only had one call to make, but it was the worst one. He called his mother. It was kind of a last hope, but Nick wasn't there. His mother offered her help immediately but he wanted her to stay in Texas in case Nick shows up there.

After the phone call he felt completely numb. They were sitting in the living room. Amy was still talking on the phone. After she finally hung up she checked an other item on her list in front of her on the smoking table then looked back at him.

" Is he with Mary? "

Sheldon shook his head.

Amy took a deep breath battling her tears.

" But my mother is really frightened. " he said.

" I'm sorry. But we had to tell her. " she said.

" It's okay, she can deal with that. Amy, you should go to bed now. "

" You too. "

" I know, that's why I'm heading home. But I want to make sure you are getting some sleep. "

" I don't know… I'm tired and I know that. I feel that. But I don't know how could I sleep. I'm afraid. That when I wake up then I'll wake up to a reality that Nick is missing since more than 48 hours. I know, time is the same whether I'm asleep or not, but it will just make it more real. I know it's nonsense. " she said.

" Then take this. " He took a little bottle out of his pocket.

" What's this? "

" Sleeping pills. "

" Why do you have sleeping pills? " she sounded surprised.

" It's really obvious. Because I can't sleep. "

" I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

" When I moved out I couldn't sleep in my new apartment for three days. Not even a minute. That's why I went to the doctor to prescribe me these. They work really good. " His tone was not accusing, it was completely emotionless. He didn't want Amy to feel bad at least not now.

" Sheldon,.,. "

" Don't say anything. Just take them. I'll leave here two, that will be more than enough. And have a sleep finally. " he said.

" Why are you this nice to me? "

He shrugged his shoulders." I guess that's the only thing I can do. You know, you're still the mother of my children. "

" Yeah, sure. A pretty terrible one. "

" No, that's not true. You're an amazing mother, but even if you weren't, I'd still care about you. You… you still mean a lot to me, Amy. "

" I want you to stay here now. " she said.

Sheldon was surprised.

" Are you sure? " he asked.

She nodded. " Well, I'm really unsure if this is a good idea, but I'm sure I still want it. But you know… maybe as friends? You can say no, I completely understand… "

Amy seemed really vulnerable now.

" No, it's actually okay for me. "

They both went to the bathroom, but not into the same one, Sheldon used the bathroom on the ground floor. As he walked upstairs, he saw that the light is turned on in Nick's room. He found Amy standing in the doorway.

Sheldon put his hand on her shoulder.

" We should go to sleep. " he said. Being here in Nick's room was painful enough.

" I know. I was just making sure he's not here. It's so unbelievable… Where could he be? The night is so cold… It's even cold here in California. What if he travelled somewhere north? What if he is out there somewhere on the streets?

" I checked his clothes earlier. He took his jacket with him. " Sheldon tried to console her.

" It's a light jacket. " she answered.

" He is smart, he won't spend the night on the streets. " he said, tríying to convince himself too.

" I hope you're right. "

" Now let's go to bed. " he said and grabbed her hand. Amy followed her to their old bedroom. Sheldon let her go in the doorway.

" Well, I guess we haven't talked about our sleeping arrangements. " she said

" No, we haven't." he comfirmed.

" Maybe, we should. "

" I guess so. " he nodded. Sheldon really didn't want to seem tolakodó…. First of all he was afraid that she would refuse him. Besides that all his need to be there for Amy and be in her presence all the time to help her and get help and support from here… Those were really illogical and unexplainable and instinct based need. Needs he didn't want to admit.

" Any suggestions? " she asked. She clearly wanted him to decide.

" Amy, that's so stupid. I'll stay with you if you want me to. I'm also afraid of nightmares in this situation. But if not, that's okay, I got used to sleeping on the couch anyway. " He finally said out loud what he meant.

" I want you to stay with me, because somehow I think that would make things easier, but it's not okay to ask you. " she said finally.

" If I'm okay with that, why wouldn't it be? "

" Because I made you leave this house and started to divorce from you, still this would be the second time I drag you into our old bedroom since then, only to fullfill my physical or emotional needs. "

" The first time, you didn't drag me, I dragged you, because I wanted to. And now you're not dragging me either. I'm willing to go in. "

He stepped in. Amy said he wanted him to. Before waiting for more doubts to come he climbed under the covers on his old side. Amy climbed next to him, keeping a certain distance.

" I can't believe all this really happens to us. That our son went missing. " she said.

" Me neither. That's why I think he'll get home soon. Maybe when we wake up, he'll be home. " Sheldon said positively.

" And what if he won't? " Amy asked. " How can you still be so positive? It's really surprising. "

" Then we'll have to wait a little more. And I can't and won't accept that Nick is actually missing. I did run away too few times, and I always got home. "

" But you were an adult! " she opposed.

" He is a more downtoearth and practical kid than I 've been as an adult. It'll be okay, I know. "

" That's true. Thanks. Goodnight, Sheldon. " she whispered with a soft smile.

" Goodnight Amy. " he whispered back. Being in the same bed with Amy felt like a secret or a forbidden thing. Still felt somehow normal in all this craziness going on.

Wow, you reviews… Reading them, especially at work, makes me feel an urge and a desire and a pain at the same time, like I was a teenager hopelessly in love, and feeling this intense feelings all pointing to the main goal: be with the ONE finally, which is of course not possible at the moment. In this case the ONE for me is to have time for writing.

Keep giving me reviews anyway, I still love them, even if they make me this emotional.