Chapter 4 Pulling Away

Emma was the first to wake up the next morning. She had fallen asleep with Regina in her arms. She stayed absolutely still, taking in the sight of the beautiful woman sleeping beside her. She looked so peaceful and Emma didn't want to wake her. It took so long for Regina to fall back to sleep last night after the nightmare she's had, followed by the ordeal with Whale.

Emma had meant what she said last night. She wasn't leaving her no matter the long dark history they had. Even if Regina blamed her for ruining her life with Robin and the fact that they were barely speaking to each other before the crash, Emma wasn't going anywhere because somehow they were friends even through everything that has happened.

She wished she had the power to fix this…

Magic.

Maybe magic could heal her. Emma couldn't believe she hadn't thought about that. She had been so concern about Regina that the idea hadn't even come to her. She was suddenly excited and full of hope. She couldn't heal, but then maybe Regina could.

She wanted to wake her. She wanted to see if Regina could heal herself but she forced herself to wait. She decided it be better to let Regina sleep first before attempting to do any kind of magic.

It was only twenty minutes later then Regina started to stir. Emma moved slightly back, removing her hold on her to give Regina space. She opened her eyes and Emma could see the fear as she blindly looked around before finally remembering she was blind.

"Still not used to it?" Emma asked and Regina jumped at the voice. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"You're still here," she stated, her voice emotionless and Emma couldn't help the concern creeping into her voice.

"Of course I am," she replied.

"Why?"

"Because I care Regina and I said I wouldn't leave you; remember?" she asked and Regina slowly turned away from her so that she was giving her back.

"Yes, well you can leave now dear." Her voice was cold and so detached and Emma felt like she had just gotten whiplash from the abrupt change in her emotions. She went from being so full of fear and needing Emma to shutting her out just over night.

"Ok, well I'm just going to talk to Whale about getting you discharged," Emma said, sounding a little put out. Regina didn't say anything and so Emma quietly left the room. She found Whale by the nurse's station going over some patient files.

"How long till Regina is ready to be discharged?" she asked, keeping her tone firm. She still wasn't pleased with the way he treated Regina last night. He put the files down and looked up at Emma in annoyance. Obviously he wasn't pleased with the way she had snapped at him last night.

"Well I had planned on letting her go today, but after last night's episode I'll have to keep her another night to make sure she didn't pull any of the internal stiches."

"She had a nightmare," Emma practically growled out the words. "It hardly counts as an episode when you're shouting at her. You scared her Whale! I don't care about your history with her. Right now she is a patient and you crossed a line!"

"Don't tell me how to do my job," he retorted.

"Then do it right," Emma snapped angrily, losing her patience. "Regina stays one more night and then she's being discharged."

When she got back to the room Regina was quiet, too quiet and it made Emma worry more then she already was. As much as Regina had been clinging to Emma after the accident she was now pushing her away.

She thought maybe she should talk to Archie later and figure out what was the best way to help Regina emotionally.

"I talked to Dr. Whale," she said, hovering at the end of the bed and Regina turned so that she was lying on her back, her eyes blindly focusing on the direction of Emma's voice. "He said it's best if you stay one more night for observation. I know you want to go home after what happened last night. I could stay with you."

"No," she answered, her voice cool and Emma frowned at the lack of emotion. "Go home, Swan. I don't need a baby sitter."

"But your nightmare," Emma protested, coming to the side of the bed. Regina was still staring straight ahead. "You were terrified last night and Whale…"

At those words, something seemed to snap in Regina. The emotionless mask was gone and replaced with the hardness Regina had regarded Emma with during those first days in Storybrooke. She was cold and angry, but Emma ignored it when Regina quickly sat up, wincing from the pain shooting from her stiches and bruises.

"I'm blind! I'm not an invalid!" she shouted and struggled when Emma was pushing her back down.

"Stop, you're going to pull a stich and you'll have to stay longer. Jeez Regina, you just had surgery."

"Get your hands off of me!" she snapped, pushing Emma back. She stumbled, finding her footing before looking at Regina.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you pushing me away?"

Regina grew quiet, but the anger on her face festered, her eyes fixed on Emma's direction.

"Leave now," she seethed and Emma shook her head in disbelief and walked to the door. Before she walked out, she turned back to Regina whose gaze was now staring up at the ceiling.

"I don't think of you as an invalid, you know. You're my friend and I want to help you, that's all it is," she said softly and then she was gone.

She was so angry and confused and even if she wouldn't admit it to herself, she was hurt from the way Regina had treated her. Emma didn't want to leave her alone at the hospital, but right now she needed to think. She needed the fresh air and the time away from all the chaos. Besides, she knew Henry would be there as soon as Snow deemed him well rested and fed enough to visit.

She couldn't understand the turbulence of Regina's mood swings. She knew Regina was upset about her loss in vision, but why was she pushing her away. Why was Regina being so cold towards her? Regina made her promise to not leave her last night and now she had practically threw Emma out.

Was it something she did? Or said?

Emma didn't know and she found herself walking to Archie's office. She climbed the stairs and Archie let her in after the first knock. He already knew about the crash, but he didn't know about Regina's loss in vision. She explained the mood swings and Archie listened as she finally got this off her chest.

"She's angry Emma and she's grieving. And if I learned anything from our sessions, is that she closes herself up when she's feeling vulnerable. Right now she's pulling away from you to protect herself."

"Protect herself from what?" she asked. "She could trust me."

"I know that and you know that, but Regina doesn't trust easily and when she feels safe enough to let someone in, she retreats."

"Why is she so afraid to let me in?" she asked, her heart heavy and Archie watched from his seat as she paced the small room. Her hands were fidgeting with anxiety.

"Emma," he said and Emma stopped her pacing, his voice grounding her and for a former cricket with a fake degree, he was a damn good therapist. "I'm not sure why she's suddenly pushing you away, but I may have an idea. It just isn't my place to tell you. Be patient with her. Talk to her and she will come to you. Give her time."

"Time," she said with a sigh, finally relaxing her fidgeting hands. "I could do that."

When she returned to the hospital that afternoon, Henry was already there just as she suspected. He was cuddle up beside Regina, reading one of his comics to her. Emma leaned against the doorway, watching as Henry read and described the images on each page to her. She shifted a bit, her jacket rustling and Regina instantly perked up. Her eyes landed blindly on the doorway.

"Whose there?" she asked and Emma noted the hint of panic behind the harsh demand.

"It's just me," Emma said softly, remembering Archie's advice on being patient and giving Regina time. Regina tensed and Henry turned to her, noticing right away.

"Mom?"

"I'm fine," she smiled, masking her discomfort and Emma was amazed at how Regina's eyes were focused on Henry as if she could really see him.

"You think you could give us a minute kid?" she asked and he nodded. Once he was gone and she made sure he wasn't eavesdropping, she shut the door and turned to Regina who was staring straight ahead with a frown.

"I told you to leave," she said.

"I know," Emma said, taking the chair beside her and Regina slightly jumped in surprise when she heard it creak beside her under Emma's weight. She looked blindly at Emma, not sure exactly where to focus her gaze. Emma would never get used to seeing Regina blindly searching the room like that. "The thing is, no matter what you say I'm not going anywhere. You could push me away and lash out at me and you could get me angry, but it won't make me leave."

"We're not friends," she said coldly.

"That's fine," Emma said, not letting the words sting. She couldn't help but think of the Regina she had held last night. What happened to that Regina? The one who wouldn't let her go.

Regina huffed at her answer, but didn't protest any further. Now that Regina begrudgingly accepted her, Emma decided to bring up the magic thing. She tried to this morning, but then Regina had kicked her out before she even had the chance.

"Have you tried magic?" Emma asked and Regina frowned at the question. "Is it possible to heal your eyes and get your sight back?"

Regina looked down at her hands even if she couldn't see them. Some kind of emotion flickered across her face, but Emma couldn't be sure what it was. She was unreadable.

"I can't," was all she said before going silent once more. She didn't want to talk anymore and Emma slumped in her chair. She really thought she was on to something.

"Why not?" she asked, trying to keep the disappointment from her voice. Regina didn't answer so Emma got up and sat on the edge of the bed. Regina felt the bed dip and she looked up, her eyes were trying to figure out exactly where Emma was.

"I'm right here," she whispered, taking Regina's hand and placing it on her cheek. It's become sort of a thing between them and oddly Regina didn't seem to mind. "Why can't you heal yourself?"

Regina pulled her hand away and she finally tore down the hostile wall between them. Her features soften, the cold mask finally crumbling. She looked in Emma's direction with defeated eyes.

"I never learned to heal. I never had the need until we went to Neverland. I thought I might need it so I started to teach myself the basics when I had time to myself in between looking for Pan and saving Henry. I could only heal small wounds. Not broken bones or internal wounds, and certainly not my vision."

"But you could keep trying," she said, not giving up that easily.

"Magic doesn't work like that," she snapped impatiently. "It's not like learning how to ride a bike in a week. Healing magic takes years to master. Healing magic as powerful enough to bring back sight takes decades. Healing my vision without that kind of skill could make it so much worse. It could become permanent even if someone with experienced healing were to try."

Disappointment hit her hard and Emma fought back against threatening tears because she really thought magic could fix this.

"I'm sorry Regina," she said, hating how shaky her voice became. "I just…"

"You were just trying to help, I know," Regina finished for her, not seeing the single tear that was streaming down Emma's cheek.

"I'm still not giving up," Emma said, ever so stubborn and she wiped the traitorous tear away. "I'll find a way, magic or not."