Chapter 61 Parry & Punch

As Kara lay under the Raptor doing some odd work for the Chief, she let her mind wander back over the past couple of days. She had settled into an uneasy routine of sorts; maintenance shifts in the mornings, afternoons working on revamping the training manuals, awkward dinners with the Admiral followed by her sessions with Laura and then workouts in the gym with Lee.

The previous two nights Laura hadn't pushed for any new revelations from Kara, instead, making her go into more details and her feelings about her early time with Leoben and the Six. It had been painfully unpleasant…and yet.

Kara sighed and rubbed at an itch on her nose with the back of her hand, trying to avoid smearing grease across her face. She had to admit—very reluctantly—that there as a kind of release in relating her experiences to the older woman. At first, she'd carefully watched for the condemnation she'd expected. Laura's matter-of-fact acceptance had been a surprising balm to her raw core as the memories sorted themselves out in her head.

One area she had resolutely avoided and—so far—Laura had let her, was the remaining gaps in her memory. They were fewer, now that she had remembered her violent attack on Leoben and the beating with the belt and subsequent encounter with Boomer, but she felt that if she looked too closely at the remaining block of time she'd lost, the weight of whatever lurked behind that bulwark would burst forth and crush her. And it already felt like she was treading along a path where one misstep would see the return of the suffocating despair that had encompassed her in the weeks past.

Staring up at the scorched undercarriage of the scout ship, Kara wondered how much longer Laura would let her evade further questions. She shrugged the thought aside and slotted the outer panel over the exposed circuits, giving it a slap to seat it into place before ratcheting home the closures. Pushing out from underneath the repaired bird, Kara stood and stretched her arms above her head, then leaned side to side to loosen tight shoulder muscles.

Cold metal around her wrists. Arms cramping as they were hauled above her head…

Abruptly stumbling back against the side of the Raptor, Kara fought to ground herself as sweat beaded her brow and lip and her breaths came shallow and fast. With eyes clamped shut, she focused on the feel of the metal at her back, laying shaking palms flat against its cool surface.

"Kara?"

Her eyes snapped open and she jerked upright from her slouched position against the ship. Lee. Frakkin' great. How much had he seen? Too much, she decided as she met his worried gaze.

After their first night in the gym, Lee had studiously avoided any personal topics, limiting his comments to gym related instructions with the occasional remark thrown in about the pilots and their exploits. So the past two evenings they had managed to co-exist without causing any new wounds or scraping the scabs from old ones.

Now, here he stood, forehead creased as his blue eyes locked with hers. The pity was there this time. She'd been expecting it, and yet, finally seeing it twist his handsome features was more than she could take. Kara swiftly stepped by him, returning the tools to their box and grabbing a well-used towel to scrub at her hands.

The heat of his presence came up behind her, and her already tense shoulders stiffened further.

"Are you ok?" He didn't even try to hide the concern in his tone. Like she really believed it was concern for her, probably afraid she was going to flip out and attack someone.

"Just fine, Major. Gotta lot to do," she said, trying to slide by him without lifting her eyes. His warm palm lightly grasped her bare elbow and the sensation sent a vibrant tingle along her nerves and her breath quickened. Damnit! Her body wasn't supposed to still react to him this way. Hadn't it betrayed her enough already? That thought abruptly cascaded into a different reaction and a surge of revulsion swept through her.

"Get the frak off me, Adama," she snapped, voice oozing vitriol as she wrenched from his hold.

Lee jerked back as if burned, his face a study of confusion at her reaction.

"Kara, what… I'm sorry, I—" he broke off.

"Stay away," she rasped out. "Just stay the frak away from me."

Careful to avoid brushing him, Kara slipped past and swiftly left the hanger bay. So absorbed in the sensation of his eyes on her back and the disturbing reversal of her emotions, she forgot that she'd had another witness to what had just happened. Light footfalls behind her reminded her of the Marine that dogged her wherever she went.

Guess Mathias got quite a show that time.

Kara wondered if the Marine reported everything she saw to the Admiral. The idea jerked her to a stop in the middle of the busy corridor and she spun on her heels. But when she tried glaring at the shorter woman, Kara found it was her own gaze that broke first. Realizing that she was drawing the attention of the crewmembers in the hall, she grimaced and, with hands on her hips, turn her glare on the gawkers and sent them scurrying. At least she could still intimidate someone, she sourly thought.

Swinging back to Mathias, Kara realized that she wasn't going to be able to unload her ire on the older woman. The Marine seemed impervious to her moods. As she ground her teeth, trying to stuff back down all the churning feelings Lee had stirred to the surface, Kara noticed that Mathias had moved closer and seemed to be debating something.

Apparently reaching a decision, she said to Kara, "Come with me," and, with a jerk of her head, set off along a branching hallway, not even bothering to see if Kara was following.

Some guard, taking off and trusting her guardee to dutifully tag along.

Starbuck gave a snort of bemused surprise, then shrugged and followed, curiosity shoving the panther of her anger back into its bag as she lengthened her stride to close the gap. Wouldn't do to lose the other woman in the twists and turns of Galactica's pathways.

She saw that the Sergeant had stopped, waiting for her just outside the hatch leading to one of Galactica's three gyms. This one was a popular hang out for the remaining Marines onboard. Mathias gave her another gauging look before stepping across the threshold and Kara followed. Feeling eyes turn on the two of them, she slipped her best Starbuck grin in place as she met the curious looks. A few nods and 'Heys' greeted them as Mathias lead her to the edge of the unoccupied boxing ring.

Kara caught the red gloves tossed her way and looked up from them to see Mathias sliding her own pair on. Starbuck's grin became just a little more genuine as she saw the Sergeant ignore protocol by not bothering with strapping her hands first. Her grin disappeared, though, as she considered the mitts she held. Licking her lips, she raised her eyes back to the older woman and saw that Mathias was calmly watching her.

As her hands squeezed the padded mitts, Kara realized that she just wasn't sure she trusted herself not to lose control. All those time in the detention center she'd fought with the sole purpose of killing. The skin-jobs hadn't stayed dead, but it hadn't mattered, she'd gone for final blood each time. And now…she wasn't sure she was safe, even with the protection of boxing gloves. There wouldn't be any convenient downloading for the Sergeant, and yet there wasn't any fear or uneasiness in Mathias' steady gaze. Just watchfulness.

Shoving aside her doubts, Starbuck's smirk returned as she shrugged out of the orange coveralls and donned the gloves. Neither woman wore workout clothes, but their fatigues would suffice. Ducking between the ropes, she joined Mathias and they began slowly circling, gauging the other and looking for openings.

Half an hour later, Starbuck was leaning against the post in one corner and running her tongue over her cut lip. Besides not having proper clothes, neither fighter had had a mouthguard. Kara's bloody and swollen lip felt good though, assuaging a nagging anxiety that had been building. She remembered her time in the apartment and how her anger had grown over the days until she'd attempt to kill Leoben again. It had been different once Kacey had arrived, but it was like the cycle had been restarted since her return to Galactica. Not wanting to spoil the moment by considering why that was, Kara pushed the thought away.

As she caught her breath, Kara looked across to where Mathias was leaning, hands on knees as she also recovered her wind. The shorter woman had a few splashes of color showing where Starbuck had cut through her guard. Kara might have the reach and speed on the Marine, but Mathias had more experience and they'd proven they were still pretty evenly matched.

Their sparring had begun cautious enough, each testing the other as they recalled their past times in the ring together. As they'd got into it though, the tentativeness had been swept away in the heat of blow, parry and strike. Kara had been relieved that she hadn't lost focus, hadn't forgotten that she faced a human ally, not a Cylon tormentor. One fear resolved. She used her sleeve to wipe the trickling sweat from her face. Despite the bruises and raw areas where the other woman's gloves had slipped past her own, Starbuck felt good for a change. Though, feeling the heaviness in her limbs, she was forced to admit that her endurance still sucked.

By an unspoken mutual consent, both women removed their gloves and jumped down from the ring. A freckled-faced Marine that looked vaguely familiar handed Kara a towel and took the gloves, giving her a shy grin of his own as he did.

Gods! Was I ever that young? Once, yeah, but never that unworldly.

She wondered briefly how the young man had managed to keep any innocence after all they'd been through. She instinctively wanted to mock him for it, at the same time, his naïve admiration was soothing, reminding her of Kacey—as if a 6'4" redheaded Marine could possibly resemble the blonde tyke that had wiggled past Kara's defenses.

Pulling her regard from the tall boy-man, she saw Mathias waiting for her and was content to follow the woman now, wherever she led. A peace had settled in her for the first time in a long while and Kara was determined to hold onto it as long as possible.

After hitting the showers, the two had gone back to the flight deck just in time to find Cally frantically searching for her.

Not a word had passed between Kara and Mathias since the Marine's original instruction to follow, but, as Cally suggested they go to lunch and hurried off to inform the Chief, the older woman caught Kara's eye.

"Everyone needs to blow off some steam now and then. When you want a rematch, Captain, let me know."

Kara gave her a look in which she hoped the other woman could read her gratitude. Then Cally was back and the Marine resumed her position as Kara's shadow and trailed the pair as they headed off to the mess.