Chapter 6 Bowl of Soup

Regina woke up to the morning sunlight streaming in through the window. She couldn't see it, but she could feel it and so she turned away from it. She didn't need the reminder of not being able to see it when she awoke each morning. Darkness was all she'll ever be able to see.

She lied on her back, her face turned to the wall. Her eyes were open and staring into nothing. She couldn't get used to it. Living in darkness.

When she heard footsteps on the stairs, she closed her eyes. Maybe whoever it was that was coming up would think she was sleeping and just leave her alone. Of course nothing ever went her way, and she felt the bed beside her dip.

She opened her eyes the moment she felt warm fingers checking the bandages on her head wound. She turned towards the person sitting beside her and somehow she knew it was Emma.

"I didn't mean to wake you. I just wanted to check your wounds."

"I'm fine," she said, her voice hoarse from sleep.

"Of course you are," Emma murmured as she pulled the blankets from Regina and stood. "Come on. We need to change those dressings."

It was painful, but with Emma's help Regina managed to stand. Her chest was heaving at the effort it seemed to take. Her body was still so bruised and battered. Emma led her downstairs and into the bathroom where she had her sit on the edge of the tub.

Regina seemed different this morning. Her moods were giving Emma whiplash. First she had been terrified and sought out Emma's comfort. Then she grew hostile and wouldn't accept any help out of pride. This morning though, she was sullen, depressed even. She didn't protest once while Emma changed her bandages.

She was quiet.

"I was thinking maybe once your wounds were healed and the pain wasn't so bad, then maybe you could start seeing Archie?" she asked and Regina froze.

"No." Her voice was clipped and Emma could see her shutting down.

"Regina, it'll help. After what had happened, you need to talk to someone. You lost something," she urged kneeling before the stubborn woman. She took both of her hands in hers, squeezing them gently. Regina's gaze stared straight ahead, seeing nothing and Emma couldn't stop the silent tear from streaming down her cheek. She could never get used to those brown unfocused eyes that had once always seemed to see down into her soul.

Regina pulled her hands away.

"Are you done?" she asked, her voice emotionless and Emma looked at her as if she had slapped her across the face. She wiped the tear from her cheek and stood.

"I just want to make this better for you," she told her, reaching out and tilting Regina's chin so that she was looking up in Emma's direction.

Regina frowned at those words and Emma could see the shift in her. The depression that she had fallen into that morning turned into a simmering kind of anger and Regina pulled away from Emma's comforting touch and quickly stood. She ignored the pain in her ribs and chest, and the dizziness in her still healing head. She nearly lost her balance, and Emma steadied her before she could fall. She grabbed her forearms and Regina shoved her away once again.

"Get away from me!" she snapped. "How could any of this be better? I am blind Emma! I am blind and you want to make it better?"

"I just want to help you," Emma stated, keeping her voice calm. She needed to be calm right now in order to get through to the hurt and angry brunette in front of her.

Regina let out a sob at those words.

"Look at me!" she demanded. "Do you think you could help this? I can't see, Emma."

"As a matter of fact Regina, I do," Emma said harshly, desperately trying to make her understand that she wasn't going anywhere. She was somehow going to make this better, even if she didn't have some kind of plan yet.

Regina was silent and the simmering rage that erupted just moments before, suddenly disappeared. Emma could see it. The hard cold expression that kept her from seeing what the brunette was really thinking. Regina was pushing her away.

"Then you're wasting your time," she said, her voice void of anything resembling emotion.

"Regina," Emma whispered, but Regina interrupted her before she could protest any further.

"Are we done here? I'm quite tired dear and I'd like to rest some more."

Emma's face fell and as she looked at the unseeing woman, her heart felt like it was shattering in her chest. All she wanted was to help her, to find a way to ease some of the devastation of her loss sense.

"Yeah," her voice cracked and she took Regina's hand so that she could lead her back to the bedroom. "Come on."

Regina slept most of the day. She was in pain most of the day and Emma took off, unable to be around anyone right now after the argument with Regina from this morning. She was at the station locked up in her office and away from Carter. She still couldn't look at him without wanting to kill him. His trial was only a week away and she hoped he would get life inside the psych ward beneath the hospital. That seemed to make up for a permanent prison.

She grabbed her coffee, wincing at the taste of the bitter lukewarm liquid, her eyes glued to her computer as she researched ways on how to help Regina. She wasn't giving up no matter how much Regina pushed her away. She needed a plan. A way for Regina to live her life without her blindness holding her back.

She was so immersed in her work that she didn't even realize Henry coming in.

"Thought you'd be here," he said and Emma looked up to see him standing at the door. She didn't even hear him opening it.

"Hey kid," she sighed and he moved towards her, glancing at the screen.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm trying to come up with some kind of plan to help your mom," she explained and she leaned back in her chair with a tired sigh. Maybe it was time to call it a day. After all, it was nearly sundown. She'd been here all day with nothing to show for. She was stumped, and she was exhausted.

"Any luck?" Henry asked.

"No."

"It's gonna get better," he reassured her and Emma raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Really," he continued. "It's going to get better Emma, I know it. My mom's strong and she'll get through this."

"And stubborn," Emma muttered bitterly.

"Mom," he sighed impatiently and Emma's features soften. "You can't give up on her. She'll let you help. You just have to let her come to you." That was exactly what Archie had said.

"How is she?" she asked.

"She slept all day, but grandma couldn't get her to eat. She's quiet. I've never seen her like this, mom." Henry was worried and Emma could see it. Regina must have sunk back into her depression after Emma left that morning after their fight.

"Alright, I'm coming home."

When she entered the loft Snow was coming downstairs with a full bowl of chicken soup. Regina still wasn't eating and Snow only confirmed it when she caught her daughter's eye and solemnly shook her head.

"She won't even speak to me," Snow's voice shook with concern as Emma followed her to the kitchen. Snow put the bowl down on the counter and Emma sat at the breakfast bar.

"I don't know what to do," Emma groaned, sounding utterly defeated and Snow reached out, placing her hand on top of hers.

"We'll find a way," Snow told her, determination shinning in her eyes. She didn't want Emma to give up. "No matter how much she shuts down and pushes everyone away, we'll find a way to make this better."

"How are you so optimistic about this?" Emma asked, her eyes watering and she hated the number of times she's cried or almost cried ever since Regina's accident.

"She's part of our family, and we don't give up on family," Snow told her softly and she was pushing the uneaten bowl of soup towards her. "Maybe you could get her to eat."

Emma shook her head, thoughts of this morning flashing through her mind. "I'm the last person she'll listen to right now."

"Just try," Snow pleaded and Emma hesitantly took the bowl and took a breath.

Emma silently entered the room, soup in hand, and she could see Regina lying on her side. Her eyes were unfocused as they stared straight ahead. She approached her, placing the bowl on the nightstand and Regina's attention snapped to the sound of the ceramic bowl hitting the wood.

"Whose there?" she asked, immediately sitting up and then letting out a pained cry from her injuries.

"Woh, easy it's just me. It's Emma," she tried soothing her, gently lowering her back against the pillows. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't," she denied, shutting her out and once again being stubborn.

"Mary Margret said you wouldn't eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Regina, you're on meds. You need to eat," Emma told her straight out and Regina tensed at the stern tone.

"I said I'm not hungry!" she snapped, sitting up again and ignoring the pain that came with it. "What is it that you or your mother don't understand? I don't want your help! I don't want your food! And I don't want to stay in this pathetic shack you call a home!"

"Eat the damn soup Regina!" Emma shouted back, her anger getting the best of her and before she knew it, the soup was flying across the room and shattering against the wall. Emma's gaze moved from the shattered remains of the bowl to Regina's shocked expression.

She didn't need to see it to know she had successfully aimed her magic.

"How did you know where the bowl was?" Emma asked, her voice shaking from the anger she had just felt moments ago.

"I… I don't know. I just…" she shook her head, unable to explain exactly what happened. Her magic instincts had just kicked in when she lost her temper and before she knew it she heard glass shattering. She had been thinking of the destroying the soup but wasn't actually aiming for it.

"You were angry and your instincts kicked in," Emma stated and when Regina couldn't seem to think of another explanation, she silently agreed. "Look," she continued. "You could push my buttons and get me angry. You could push me away all you want but I'm not going anywhere because that's what family does."

"Family?" It was as if Regina couldn't comprehend what Emma was implying. After everything, why would this woman think of her as family?

"Yes, family," Emma said softly, moving towards the silent brunette and taking her hands. "Whether you want me here or not, you're not going through this alone."

Emma pulled away and it wasn't until she reached the door did Regina finally spoke to her.

"I think tea would be nice right now," she admitted, her tone losing its cold and distant edge and Emma couldn't help the bright grin from forming on her lips.