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Chapter 7 Listen To My Voice

Regina couldn't sleep that night after shattering the bowl of soup against the wall. She lied in bed wide awake and staring into nothing as thoughts of Emma ran rampant in her head. Emma and Snow and everyone else in this house was so sure they could help her. She thought it was impossible. How could you make this better? How could you make losing a sense better? She trusted Emma though and she finally realized that was all she needed to let the insistent woman help her in any way she could.

Her mind was full. Her anxiety over her behavior these past days kept her from sleeping and she knew she needed to talk to Emma. Problem was, she was asleep downstairs and Regina hadn't even attempted moving out of the bedroom on her own.

She could do this, she tried convincing herself as she sat up slowly, ignoring the protesting pain in her ribs and chest. She's been here plenty of times to know her way around the loft without having to see. She tried picturing the layout in her head. The door was straight ahead. Turn left in the hallway and head to the stairs. Emma should be sleeping on the couch.

She slid her feet off the bed, feeling the smooth wood through her socks. Henry was asleep in his own bed across from her and maybe she should wake him up. She knew it was safer but she didn't want to wake him. She wanted to show Emma she could do this on her own.

With a deep breath she stood, gritting her teeth through the pain and trying her best not to wake Henry.

"I could do this," she whispered to herself, her heart beating at the anticipation of knocking into something or worse, falling and waking everyone up. She reached out her arms, feeling for anything before taking slow steps straight ahead to where she believed the door was.

Her hands came into contact with the wall and she felt around for the door. She couldn't help but think how ridiculous she must look. She kept going though, using her hands to guide her through the door and out into the hall. She was determined to get to Emma on her own, to show her she could do this.

However, when she was halfway down the small hallway, she froze. She was scared to take another step knowing how close she could be to the head of the stairs. What if she fell? Everyone would wake up and see and she'd feel them staring at her, pitying her because she couldn't see. She couldn't make it down the stairs on her own. These thoughts were running rampant through her mind even if they weren't true. She knew Emma would never stare at her as if she were a weak helpless victim to circumstance. Snow wouldn't either and somehow she knew David wouldn't because she was starting to trust them. He had helped her up the stairs and no matter how bruised her pride had been, he never once made her feel helpless. Right now in this moment however, she believed the exact opposite of the truth. She believed that they would stare at her with nothing but pity and treat her like a helpless victim.

She didn't know what to do.

A frustrated sob left her lips and her legs suddenly felt like jelly. She lost all sense of direction and panicked when she realized she couldn't decipher exactly how to get back to the bedroom. She fell to her knees, afraid to get up and walk.

Get up, she thought, trying to urge herself to move, to get it together but fear of falling down those stairs paralyzed her. She could just sit there.

"You were doing so good," Emma's voice suddenly sounded in the quietness of the loft, of the dark world she was trapped in. She looked up in the direction of her voice.

"You were watching me?" She tried to hide the shakiness of her tone.

"I was sleeping with Henry. The sofa was killing my back," Emma explained. "I saw you get up."

"I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to show you that I could do this and I wanted you to help me however you can. You… You're right Emma. Everything you said before and I'm sorry I was being too stubborn to listen." The blonde was suddenly kneeling down beside her and lifting Regina's hand, placing it on her cheek so she'd know exactly where Emma was. Regina felt warm skin beneath her palm.

"I'm sorry too," she whispered. "I know I've been hard on you."

Regina smiled and the fear that had paralyzed her was fading and she could breathe again. Emma had a way of calming her, grounding her in moments like these when the earth beneath her felt like it was spinning.

"Why did you stop?" Emma asked her softly and Regina took a shaky breath because now it seemed so silly. The ugly thoughts that been running rampant in her mind only moments go seemed so foolish. These people that had become her family would never treat her like a helpless invalid. They haven't once looked at her with pity. They only wanted to help her and be there for her and she couldn't allow herself to see it in a moment of panic.

"I got scared," Regina pulled her hand away but she could still sense Emma's presence infront of her. The other woman was still kneeling before her, listening to her. "I realized I didn't exactly know where the stairs were and I panicked that I would fall and you all would wake up and look at me as if I was something to be pitied. It sounds so stupid now."

"It's not," Emma reassured her. "I get why you panicked, but Regina, don't think for a second that we would look at you like someone to be pitied. You're so much more than that. You're strong and we've seen it so many times." Emma stood and Regina heard her footsteps as she walked away from her.

"Emma?" her voice trembled at the thought of Emma just leaving her in the middle of the hallway without any clue as to which direction the bedroom or even the stairs were.

"I'm right here," Emma told her. "At the foot of the stairs. Get up and walk towards me. There's nothing in your path."

Regina felt like a deer caught in the headlights. Finding and getting down those stairs on her own with no sight scared the living daylight out of her. It was just as terrifying as crossing the street without being able to see.

"Regina, I'm right here. Just walk straight, follow my voice."

Emma's encouragement was all she needed to get over her fear. She stood, holding out her hands in front of her as she took small steps towards the woman at the head of the stairs. It wasn't until she felt Emma taking her hand then she stopped.

"Emma…" She knew she was a step away from the edge and the same fear from before returned its grip on her. Emma sensed it and she stepped down the first few steps so that she was face to face with Regina.

"Do you trust me?" she asked.

"I… yes…" Regina stumbled on her words. Of course she did. After these past few days, she never trusted Emma more.

"Then take a step down." Emma took the brunettes hands and placed them on the rail. "I'm right here."

Regina hesitated, unsure how far down the step was. Funny how you don't think of these things when you could see the steps and know the distance without even really paying attention to it. Now it's different. One miscalculation could send her falling and hurting herself. She gripped the rails tightly and took that first step down. She misjudged and stumbled when she realized it wasn't that far down. Emma grabbed her forearm, steadying her.

"I got you," she whispered. "Smaller steps this time."

Regina took smaller steps, her confidence building as she got closer to the ground. Emma smiled, praising her as she finally took that last step and made it to the bottom.

"Ok," she said, stepping away from her, walking backwards towards the kitchen. "Follow me, listen to my voice. The path ahead of you is clear."

"What's the point of this?" Regina huffed, slowly making her way towards Emma. She relied on her hearing and the vibrations of Emma's movements. Her other senses were sharper now that her sight was gone.

"Confidence builder," Emma replied, sitting on the barstool and watching Regina blindly approaching her. "Tomorrow, I'll help you get a better layout of the loft that way you won't have to worry about bumping into stuff."

At that moment Regina hadn't realized how close she had gotten to Emma and she literally bumped right into her. Emma held her tightly right before she could fall back.

"Bumping into stuff? You mean like you?" Regina asked and Emma shivered at the warmth of Regina's breath against her neck as she held her tightly against her.

"Very funny," Emma snapped out of her shocked daze and gently released her hold on the shorter woman. Regina took a step back, her gaze unfocused and fixed on some unseen point behind Emma.

"What's your plan?" she asked. "You said you wanted to help make things easier for me."

"I've been doing a lot of research. Now I know you won't agree to a cane or a guide dog so I'll guide you. At least until your able to get a better grasp on your surroundings."

"You're going to be my guide dog?" Regina asked, teasing her and Emma scoffed in amusement.

"Either that or you're getting the cane."

Regina laughed, and god it sounded like music to Emma's ears. She hadn't seen so much of a smile since the accident, since she had lost her sight.

"Are you sure you're up to this?" she asked more seriously this time. "I get lost in my headspace sometimes. I'll push you away."

"Regina, I said I was here for you and I am, ok. You're not pushing me away." If her mood swings these past couple days were anything to go by then Emma had her work cut out for her. She wasn't giving up though. She promised she wouldn't leave her. She promised she'd help and that was exactly what she was going to do.