Chapter 11 You Can't Give Up On Me

"Are you sure about this?" Regina asked, her words breathless and lips swollen from never ending earth shattering kisses that made Emma feel weak and her limbs feel like jelly. They had been making out, tuning out the sounds of the hospital, their only focus on each other.

Emma looked into those dark brown eyes. She could see just how afraid Regina was to start a relationship with her. She understood. Regina had been through so much. She doubted she had ever been on a date before.

Emma pressed her lips to hers, pulling away and kissing her neck. Regina let out a soft gasp of surprise and pleasure.

"Of course I am," Emma answered, continuing her assault on warm skin.

"Even after everything I've done… who I was? I tried to poison you once. I'm the Evil Queen, Emma." There was uncertainty and self-loathing in her voice and Emma pulled away, lifting Regina's chin so that she knew where to look.

"Don't call yourself that. You're just Regina. You're Henry's mother and the mayor of this town. You're no Evil Queen, not anymore."

"But… I hurt so many people. I was a … a monster." She said this so quietly, her voice heavy with regret and emotion because even if she didn't regret the curse that brought her to Henry, she regretted the unnecessary bloodshed caused by her hand. She couldn't understand how Emma could love someone like her… With a past so heavy with blood and darkness and so much hurt. "I killed people. I tore families apart. I was cruel."

"Hey… hey stop it," Emma soothed her, placing her fingers on her lips and tracing the scar there. "I know who you were. You forget, I met the Evil Queen when I time traveled to the Enchanted Forest. I saw bits and pieces of that cruelness and Regina, seeing that part of who you were makes me proud of how far you've become. It makes me love you more."

"You love me?"

"It's heading to that," Emma shrugged, her cheeks turning pink at the slip up of words.

"Emma…" Regina's voice shook, uncertainty clouding her features and Emma hoped she hadn't managed to freak her out before she even had the chance to take her on a date.

"We both have a past. I was no saint either," Emma explained, before the brunette could say anything else. "And no matter how dark yours is, you will always be just Regina to me. Let's give this a chance."

Regina was quiet for a long time, simply going over everything that Emma had said. She had laid her head on Emma's chest, listening to the beat of her heart. Emma didn't push her to speak, simply just combing her fingers through dark brown hair.

She was afraid. Love… being in love scared her to death. Everyone she loved was taken from her. Her heart was bruised and battered and dark. How could Emma ever want to love her? She didn't know, but Emma was right about one thing. They both have a past and they had changed.

This could go wrong in so many ways. They could both get hurt and Regina didn't think she'd be able to survive this kind of heartbreak. There was something between them. There always had been and she knew once they started dating, she was going to fall hard for the woman that had showed up on her doorstep years ago.

Let's give this a chance, Emma's words echoed in her head. She wanted to run… to pull down the walls around her heart and bolt them down, but at the same time, she wanted to stay in this embrace forever. In Emma's arms, kissing those lips, and hearing her heart beating in her chest.

She wanted this. She so so wanted this even if it might just kill her in the end.

So she'll give them a chance.

"So this means you'll be taking me out on a date?" she asked and Emma couldn't help the adorable grin spreading on her face. She had never once in her life heard Regina sound so shy. This woman in her arms was always so forward and direct when it came to what she wanted.

"I might have a few ideas, once you're healed of course," she said, taking Regina's question as a yes. They would give this thing between them a chance. She knew it was too soon to call it love, but it was definitely heading there and fast.

"What about your parents?" Regina asked, her voice full of uncertainty. Even if they had come to some kind of truce, even after all the blood and loss between them, Regina didn't want to hurt them. They were her family now and even if she couldn't admit it to anyone she cared about them. Their daughter dating their former enemy, the woman that cast the curse that tore their daughter from them, was devastating.

These were the thoughts that were racing through her mind. She felt as if being happy with Emma was somehow betraying them.

Emma pressed a sweet kiss on her cheek.

"You know they love you," she said softly and Regina sighed, shifting so that she was lying on her back, her eyes staring unseeingly up at the ceiling. Emma rested her head on her hand, her elbow on the pillow and looking down at the conflicted brunette.

"I hurt them and they hurt me. Even if we're family now our past will always be there. My curse was the reason why they had to send you to this world. They're going to be devastated that you're in a relationship with their former enemy."

Emma placed a sweet kiss on her brow, attempting to ease her girlfriend's anxiety.

"Want to know what I think?" she asked and Regina nodded. "I think they'll just want me to be happy. I think they just want you to be happy. It might be hard for them to accept but they will because they love me and as hard as it is for both you and them to admit sometimes, I know they love you too."

Regina thought about it and she finally turned her gaze towards Emma's voice. She couldn't see it but she could feel the warmth and love radiating from Emma's gaze. She was staring at her and Regina could feel it.

"Perhaps you're right darling, but could we maybe wait a while and see where this thing goes before we tell them. I just need some time before they start to hate me."

Emma shook her head with a breathy chuckle of disbelief, her eyes full of affection and she pulled Regina close so that her head was tucked into her neck. She kissed her forehead and she could feel Regina melting into her embrace.

"They're not going to hate you, but I won't push you. Whenever you're ready we could tell them," she reassured her and Emma felt warm lips pressing a sweet single kiss on her neck.

"Thank you dear."

"And Henry? Do we tell him?"

"He's going to find out anyway," Regina pouted with mock annoyance. Their son would definitely see the change in them. There was no use hiding it.

"True," Emma laughed.

"Emma?"

"Hmm..."

"When can I go home?"

"I'll have to ask…"

"If Whale so much as walks down this hall I will roast him!" Regina angrily interrupted her, remembering bits and pieces of him yelling at her last night as he restiched her incisions.

"No… hey no," Emma quickly reassured her, trying to calm the fiery temper of the former Queen. "David talked to the dean of medicine and requested another doctor. Whale won't be treating you anymore."

Regina sighed in relief and Emma rubbed her back in attempt to calm her.

"He won't be getting near you again."

"Yeah, if he knows what's good for him," Regina scoffed, her unfocused eyes full of disgust for that man. Emma looked at her thoughtfully, wondering why she and Whale hated each other so much.

"What's the story between you two, if don't mind me asking."

Regina hesitated to answer, her body tensing and Emma thought maybe it was a mistake to ask. Maybe it brought back some dark painful memories. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"No," Regina said softly and Emma finally felt her relaxing against her body.

"It was nothing I did. He's just angry that he happened to be in the Enchanted Forest when I cast the curse and was separated from that monster he called a brother."

"And you?"

Regina closed her eyes and nuzzled her face into Emma's chest, soaking in the warmth and comfort she found there.

"I was once a young girl that somehow believed her lost love could be brought back to life. Once Rumpelstiltskin realized it, he made a deal with Whale to crush that tiny shred of hope I had left. He showed no mercy and watched me fall apart, mourning the life and love I had lost and the cruel life I was destined for. I know I'm not completely blameless. I was weak enough to fall into the darkness. I let it consume me no matter what forces were at play."

Emma frowned, her anger for Whale only growing. Regina wasn't entirely blameless, but Whale had a hand in turning her dark and he had no right to be angry at her for ripping him away to another land.

She looked down at the suddenly sleepy brunette. The painkillers made everything hazy for her and she knew it wouldn't be long till she was asleep again. Her eyes were closed and she was still nuzzled against her chest.

"He has no right to be angry with you," Emma said softly. "You were young and heartbroken. He took advantage of you all for some deal with Rumpelstiltskin."

"I was a foolish child. I shouldn't have been so naïve," her words slurring as sleep evaded her body and mind.

"Nothing excuses what he did," Emma stated and Regina hummed against her chest. Emma's voice and scent and her warm embrace being the last thing she remembered before the morphine once again pulled her under.

When she woke up again Emma was gone and Regina started to panic. Not because Emma was gone but because she was in a hospital room unable to see who comes and goes. She sat up quickly, wincing at the pain in her abdomen along with her still bruised chest and ribs. The morphine must have worn off.

That was when she sensed it. Emma was close by.

Her rigid posture relaxed and she stood up from the bed, pulling the IVs from her arm. She didn't know how she knew Emma was close. She guessed it was instinct. It didn't occur to her that it could be her magic compensating for her lost sense.

Her steps were shaky, her legs feeling like jelly from all the drugs that had streamed through her system. She heard her voice just outside the hall. She didn't even notice the stool in her path. She stepped around it on instinct and searched for the door and pushing it open.

She heard Emma clearly now. She was talking about her release papers to maybe a nurse or a doctor, she didn't know. She walked straight down, reaching out her hand until she felt the soft materiel of Emma's sweater. Emma turned to see Regina standing there on shaky legs. Her hand splayed gently on her belly over the stiches.

"Hey, what are you doing out here," Emma asked, her voice tender as she pulled the shaking woman towards her. Regina let herself relax in Emma's arms. Her stiches were throbbing and she truly felt as if she was going to pass out.

"I…" she didn't know what to say. She got scared of being left in a room and unable to see if anyone came in. At least she couldn't admit it infront of whoever Emma was talking to. "I heard your voice."

Emma once said she knew when Regina lied to her and this was one of those times. Concern flickered in her eyes and she took the discharge papers from the new doctor that had replaced Whale.

"I'll have these filled out as soon as possible," she said and after bidding him goodbye she led Regina back into her room.

"I was just getting your discharge papers," Emma explained as she helped Regina back into bed. She knew the former Queen was in pain, but the doctor made it clear she couldn't be given any more morphine since she was being discharged. She would have to go back to the low sedative pills she was prescribed to before she had torn her stiches.

"I got scared," Regina suddenly said, her voice so low that Emma almost missed the quiet confession. She sat on the edge of the bed. Regina was being open with her and for the first time Emma didn't have to pry it out of her. "I woke up and you were gone and it made me nervous that anyone could just walk in."

"I was standing just outside the door. I wouldn't have let them," Emma reassured her, running a hand through short dark hair and then leaning down and kissing her.

"Hmm, I love that I could do that now," Emma whispered as they pulled away and Regina rolled her eyes at her girlfriend's cheesiness, even when she couldn't hide the affectionate smirk of her lips.

"So when can I leave?" she asked.

"As soon as I fill out the paperwork. Snow is on her way with some clothes for you."

They fell into a comfortable silence and all Regina could hear was pen against paper as Emma filled out the packet of forms that would free her from this place.

"Emma?" she asked.

"Hmm?" she replied, clearly distracted.

"You really want to do this?" she asked and Emma looked up from her work.

"Yes," she said, placing her hand on hers and squeezing.

"I wasn't a good person."

"I know, we've talked about this."

"I could be mean when I want to. I might push you away when I get scared. I close myself off without even realizing it. You can't give up on me." Her words were full of so much anxiety and Emma could see the fear in those sightless brown eyes. Regina was afraid of getting hurt again.

"I mess things up when I mean well. I run when I get scared and just like you I'm afraid of getting hurt again. You can't give up on me either."