Chapter 68 Simulation

After letting herself be ushered from the Admiral's quarters, Laura asked her guide to take her to see Dr. Cottle. She had intended on seeking him out before meeting with Kara, but since she'd been so late, she had decided against it. Now she really needed an impartial sounding board, one with which she could share more details than she dared with the Admiral. Besides, Bill would be so eager to believe that Kara had not been sexually assaulted that he'd hardly be receptive to her insistence that something was wrong about Starbuck's story.

She found the doctor writing up charts in his office, which was ideal from her perspective. She hadn't wanted to pull him away from any patients. He rose as at her knock and entry.

"Madam President, are you feeling Ok?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she answered, then getting to straight to the point of the visit, "I need to discuss Captain Thrace."

His nod acknowledged that he wasn't surprised by her visit.

"Have a seat," waving her to one of the sturdy chairs.

Perching on the edge of the seat, Laura considered how to begin. Deciding that the doctor was one person that had to know as much as possible about what Kara had related, she took a deep breath and launched into an in depth recounting of her sessions. The white-haired physician stopped her frequently with questions, and for her observations or opinions throughout. He was silent a long time after she finished with her suspicion that Kara was leaving out something significant in her story. In fact, he had finished one cigarette and lit another before Laura got impatient enough to interrupt his thoughts.

"Well?" she demanded.

"I agree. She's still hiding something," Cottle snuffed his half-finished cigarette in the bedpan before he continued, "The force-feeding intrigues me, though. I think you've underestimated how traumatic she may have found that experience," he said.

"She certainly had a strong physical reaction prior to telling me about it," Laura admitted, still not seeing how the woman that had handled all the other physical abuse could find something like force-feeding traumatic.

"So, all she said about it was that this Leoben had Centurions hold her while he tubed her?" the doctor asked. At her nod, he stood and waved for her to follow him out to the ward.

Spotting his assistant, Ishay, he called her over. "I have a rather extreme favor to ask of you," he said. "It's not likely to be particularly pleasant, but I need some help getting a woman's perspective on something," At his assistant's raised eyebrows, the continued, "It's to help Captain Thrace. I'm trying to get a grasp on how the Cylons may have gone about force-feeding her…and how she might have felt about it." He saw the dark-haired nurse shift uncomfortably as she started to pick up on what he wanted. "Would you be willing to lay on the floor and play her part while we recreate the force-feeding?"

Laura was as surprised by the doctor's proposal as his assistant. It seemed wrong to ask the woman to agree to this experiment. After all, Kara was her responsibility, not the nurse's.

"Dr. Cottle, if anyone should do this, it should be m—" Laura started to say, but was interrupted as the nurse spoke up.

"No. No. Madam President. We couldn't let you do that," Ishay firmly protested. "I'll do it. I can't say I'm comfortable with the idea. But…after everything those damn Toasters did to Captain Thrace… Well, if this might help her, than I can handle it," she said, though Laura noticed her give a slight grimace as she turned to the doctor. "What do you want we to do, Sir?"

"If you'd show the President into exam three, I'll be right with you two," he instructed. Laura, looking over her shoulder as she followed the nurse, saw Cottle gesturing to a pair of young Marines and an orderly.

As the four men joined the two women in the suddenly crowded room, the men appeared nearly as uncomfortable as his assistant once Cottle explained what he wanted from them. Directing Ishay to lay on the floor, he asked the two soldiers how they'd go about restraining someone in order to force-feed them. The men looked uncertainly at each other, and the orderly clearly wanted to be any place but that room.

Finally, Laura spoke to the room in general, "I realize how uncomfortable this is for everyone. Consider how you would assist the doctor if he had a fevered patient that needed restraint while he bandaged her face," Laura said, trying to put the exercise in terms these people might relate to.

"Um. Ok, I suppose someone would need to secure her, keep her from getting up," Corporal Tramley reluctantly volunteered. He hesitantly stepped a foot over Ishay's prone body and awkwardly knelt to straddle her. Looking to her for permission, he leaned forward, placing his hands on her forearms, then, with a shake of his head, repositioned them up high on her biceps, nearly at her shoulders and leaned his weight onto them.

It was apparent to Laura that having the rather large guard holding her down was making the woman very anxious, she kept flexing her fingers and her eyes were wide in her pale face. But she didn't tell the Marine to get off. And when she met Laura's questioning stare, the nurse gave a small nod to continue.

"What now, Corporal?" Laura said, directing the uncomfortable guard to think about what had to be done, the quicker to get through this.

"Patterson, uh, you hold her head, like the doc's got to clean up a scalp wound," the Marine ordered. They watched as the younger man took his position at Ishay's head and placed his hands on either side of her forehead before looking at the older Marine for approval. "Yeah, that way the doc can work without her messing up his neat sutures," Tramley said, obviously determined to focus on a hypothetical medical situation he could wrap his head around. "Guess we're ready for you, Sir," he added, looking to Cottle.

Laura hadn't missed Ishay's brief flash of panic as the youngest Marine had gripped her head. Her own unease escalated as the doctor turned to his orderly and gave the man a measuring look before saying, "Paul, if you would very gently force this into her mouth, please," and handed the man an intubation tube.

"You want me to intubate her, Sir?" the orderly demanded.

"No, just get it into her mouth. That's all," Cottle said.

Laura glanced from the orderly's set face to Ishay's as the man approached her. As the orderly knelt at the nurse's head, she saw the moment when Ishay's panic erupted to the surface and she began thrashing against the men that held her down.

"That's enough," Cottle gruffly called out, above Ishay's rising yells for them to get off her. All three men fell away as quickly as they could, scrambling to their feet, chagrin and shame flaming their faces. Ishay also wasted no time climbing to her own feet. She instinctively backed away from the group and only stopped when she felt the wall at her back.

Laura quickly moved to the nurse's side, stepping between her and her view of the men. "Ishay, it's Ok. We're done," she soothingly said, taking one of the woman's cold hands in hers, and pulling the dark eyes to hers. "I'm sorry. This was a bad idea. We shouldn't have put you through this."

"No-no… I just panicked. I-I knew they wouldn't hurt me, but…" the nurse trailed off.

"I understand. I didn't before, but I do now," Laura said, giving the hand she held a squeeze. "We have a better idea of how Kara probably reacted when the Cylons did the same to her."

When Ishay shut her eyes, Laura guessed that she, like Laura, was envisioning how Kara must have felt having the Cylons hold her and force a tube down her throat. The loss of control, the feeling of the weight restraining her and knowing that she couldn't get free.

Then Ishay opened her eyes and gave a tentative smile, meeting Laura's worried gaze.

"I'm fine, really."

"I know you are. Again, thank you for your cooperation." Laura gave the nurse a last squeeze of gratitude, then turned to give Cottle a glare that told him they had words to exchange.

The physician excused the men, and gave Ishay his own apology before following the President from the exam room and back to his office.

"Was that really necessary, Doctor?" Laura demanded once the door was shut.

"You tell me, Madam President," he shot back, "You didn't seem to think that Captain Thrace would have found force-feeding anything more than an unpleasant experience. What about now?"

"Is this really the answer? Was the force-feeding that traumatic?" Laura demanded, pacing about the small room, too agitated to sit. Her own emotions stirred just by witnessing the nurse's response.

"I'd have to say, yes…and no," Cottle answered, automatically lighting a cigarette. He took a strong pull on it, before meeting Laura's glare. "What I mean is, yes, that to Starbuck it probably had all the components of…well, of a sexual assault." Mashing his cigarette into the pan, "Damnitall, I hate this type of thing. Give me a gapping abdominal wound any day of the week," he said, rubbing at his eyes.

Staring at the doctor, Laura echoed his sentiment. "Ok. We agree that her reaction could be explained by the force-feedings. What did you mean by no, then?"

Cottle grimaced, then explained, "Just when I think I've heard the last of what those bastards did to her, I learn of something else." His eyes narrowed as he met her gaze. "Do we believe that the Cylon did nothing else during their time together? If she reacted this strongly to the force-feeding…" he trailed off, the implication of what he hadn't said obvious.

"Yet this fits with what I said about believing her denials," Laura pointed out, knowing she was still hoping that Leoben hadn't gone further, as unlikely as that was.

Dr. Cottle took a minute before answering, when he did, he kept his gaze averted from her. "What does rape mean to you? You personally, as a female?" he asked.

Laura felt her own anxiety ramping up as she gave his question some real thought. What was rape? Forced copulation or…maybe not seeing any options except acquiescence in relation to sexual demands. Would Kara reason that rape was not rape unless she said no…or fought? What if she was put in a situation where she didn't fight Leoben, would she still recognize the coercion that made the act rape?

Perhaps not.

"What if…" she started, but had to pause before trying again, "What if Kara didn't fight, didn't resist Leoben's sexual advances. If, for some reason, she chose not to or couldn't fight him, do you believe she wouldn't identify that she was still raped?"

"Now that's the question, isn't it," the doctor said, having reached the same conclusion. "Considering her dysfunctional childhood, growing up believing that she only got what she deserved, I'd be surprised if she could perceive the act as anything other than consensual if, like you're suggesting, she didn't try to fight him off. And…if she thinks she consented, that girl's bound to be all tied up with guilt and shame over it."

"We need a professional to handle this," Laura said, feeling despair shriveling her resolve. She looked over at the elderly physician, wondering what were the chances Kara would discuss any of this with Cottle. He shook his head at her, easily reading the direction of her thoughts. Well, guess she'd have to muddle on as she had been, and hope for the best, she decided.

"Ok, I have some idea of what we might be facing. How to proceed now? She completely shut me down tonight," Laura told the doctor.

"Starbuck's a very physical woman," he mused, mostly to himself, but continued aloud, "If she's trying to avoid an issue, she gets practically monosyllabic. Forcing her into a physical confrontation won't allow her to suppress it. Course, who's ever on the receiving end is likely to need my services afterwards," he added with a grim chuckle.

Laura wondered if striking a match to the tinderbox called Starbuck was such a hot idea. Not that she had any better suggestions, she mentally admitted.

"Do you have someone in mind," Laura cautiously asked.

"I had a brief talk with Captain Agathon this morning. Seems she's angry at him for his part in pulling her out of her earlier funk," Cottle said. "He's a powerful man, I'm sure he could handle her if prepared," he said with a suggestive eyebrow.

"You're actually recommending I instigate a physical confrontation between Kara and Captain Agathon? That sounds highly reckless, Doctor," she protested.

"A controlled explosion can be a useful tool, Madam President," he stated. "Take into account as many variables as possible, set the fuse and see what happens," Cottle said, sounding more like a munitions expert than a do-no-harm physician.

Then again…maybe the doctor had a point.