Sorry for the long delay. Things happened and I had no internet access on a desktop for a really long time. So I've already finished the story, unfortunately I can't post the rest of it till Thursday. I know bear with me. Meanwhile enjoy this chapter:)

Chapter 16 All I have Now

She landed just outside of Grannies where a worried Snow was calling Emma's cell. She cried out, the moment her knees connected with the rough ground. She was exhausted, and bleeding out causing her new magical sense to deplete. She was once again surrounded in darkness. She could feel Emma's limp body on her lap as she held her head close to her chest.

She didn't even know if she had poofed them to the right location. She had been thinking of the dinner she and Emma were already late for.

"Regina?!" Snow's frantic voice was a sign that she had indeed poofed them to Grannies.

Suddenly there were hands on her shoulders. She flinched at the contact.

"Regina, let me see you," Snow's panicked voice said softy. She felt the princess lifting her chin and looking into her eyes. "I think you're going to pass out."

She pulled her unconscious daughter from her lap while calling out for David. The door banged open and she could hear the prince's heavy footsteps rushing towards them.

"What happened?" he asked, the same tone of worry and fear lacing his words just like his wife.

"I don't know, get Regina… I think she's passing out. She's losing blood."

She cried out the moment she felt David lying her down, memories of Carter's brutal hands on her flashing through her mind. He pressed something to her wound. If she had to guess, probably his flannel.

"It's ok, you're going to be ok," David whispered, trying to calm her. She could hear Snow, softly talking to Emma and she briefly wondered if her girlfriend was awake.

"Em… Emma…" she whispered, feeling herself losing grip on remaining conscious. Warm blood was still flowing from torn stitches. The healing Emma had done was already damaged.

She could hear David talking on his phone, asking for an ambulance and reporting their injuries. Somewhere in the dark fogginess of her world, she heard Henry. He was shouting for them. For both of his mothers, but his voice was muffled as if someone was holding him back. Snow was crying, begging Emma to wake up. She couldn't even register the exact moment when David had taken her hand. He squeezed it tightly, letting her know she was safe. That was last thing she could remember before unconsciousness took her further into darkness.

Emma was awakened by the sound of beeping machines and the dull feeling of pain masked beneath pain killers. She groaned, feeling sore and stiff. Her head was pounding as green eyes fluttered open.

"Emma?"

It was her mother. She slowly turned to see Snow sitting in the chair beside her bed. From the dark circles under her eyes and wrinkled clothing, she knew she's been sitting there for a while.

"How long have I been out?" she asked, her voice hoarse. Snow got up and poured her some water from a pitcher and helped her take a few slow sips. Something was up. Snow seemed to be upset about something. "Mom?"

"You're ok," she whispered, embracing her daughter tightly and trying not cry once more of their new discovery upon bring her to the ER.

"Regina?" she suddenly asked, her voice full of panic and Snow pulled away to reassure her. "Where is she?"

"Her recovery was set back but she's going to be fine. She's in a room just down the hall." She fell silent, her eyes full of grief and it hit Emma like a ton of bricks.

"I know how it looks like…" she attempted to explain herself through the haziness of the painkillers.

"You're cutting yourself Emma. What else is it supposed to look like?" She had never heard her mother sound so harsh and angry. Not even that time a couple of years ago before the curse broke, when she had attempted taking Henry out of Storybrooke and away from Regina.

"I was trying to help Regina," she whispered, her voice cracking and tears threatening to fall. She held them in, unable to let her mother see her cry.

Snow stood and started pacing the foot of her bed. She was angry. She was so damn angry that Emma was hurting herself. She had seen the bandages under her sleeves as she held her on the ground outside of Grannies. She had peeled them back as she waited for the ambulance and was horrified at the long gashes that marked her skin. She had been terrified and that was what triggered her anger at her daughter.

"Healing is advanced magic so I've been practicing so I can heal her," she confessed and Snow stopped at the foot of the bed, looking at her daughter and the anger finally faded. "I just want her to see again."

"Oh honey," Snow whispered, coming to Emma's side and embracing her. "I know you want to help her, but not at the expense of hurting yourself. There has to be another way. A safer way."

"There isn't."

At those words, Snow pulled away.

"We'll find another way. We always do."

"That doesn't seem possible right now," she murmured. "Please don't give me the hope speech right now. Not while I'm doped up on pain relief drugs."

"Fine, but we're not done discussing this," Snow stated determinedly. She wasn't about to let Emma slit herself again. "Does Regina know?" She had to ask.

Emma looked away, unable to look at her mother. She couldn't bear the disappointment.

"No."

She woke up in a panic, unable to remember for a moment where she was and why she couldn't see. Where was Emma? There was a dull ache in her abdomen and her ribs were in agony. She had jolted up and her body crumbled back into the bed the moment she felt the shooting pains through her ribs and stomach. She cried out, not noticing the hands on her trying to hold her down or the sound of David calling for a doctor.

"Regina, its ok! You're ok…You're in the hospital," he tried calming her, trying to keep her still in case she hurts herself.

"David?" she gasped, as she remembered last night's attack. "Where's Emma?"

"She's fine," he said softly. "She's in another room down the hall. Snow is with her."

"And Henry? Where is Henry?" she asked, suddenly realizing that Henry must have seen them when she poofed them both to Grannies.

"He's worried but he's fine. He's with Red."

The doctor came in and he saw her tensing at his presence. Her brown sightless gaze wondered the room, unable to see who was here with her.

David placed his hand on her shoulder.

"The doctor is here to check your wound."

She visibly relaxed and once he checked her vitals, ribs, and incisions, he explained to her that her recovery had been set back and it would take longer for her to completely heal. Once he was gone and had upped the dosage on her morphine, he had finally left her alone to rest.

David had wanted to ask her for details of what happened, but the pain meds were making her sleepy. He squeezed her shoulder just as sleep was finally pulling her under.

"Get some rest," he told her before leaving the room and going to check on Snow and his daughter.

He walked in to see Emma asleep with Snow sitting by her bed.

"How is she doing?" he asked, approaching his daughter and observing her bruised and battered form. She was lucky she didn't have any more serious injuries other than severe bruising and a concussion. The doctor wanted to keep her overnight for observation and if there were no complications she would be discharged in the morning.

He would find the bastard that did this to her and arrest him, making sure he got the punishment he deserved.

"She kept asking for Regina. How is she?"

"She was awake earlier. She's in a lot of pain and the doctor had to increase her dosage of morphine. She was asking for Emma."

"Did she say what happened?"

"She was too out of it. What about Emma?"

"I was confronting her on the…" she gestured to her arm, the one they had discovered the partially healed cuts on. "She was practicing her healing magic. She wants to help Regina… try and bring back her sight. It could work…" she sighed. "It's just so dangerous. There has to be another way."

"We'll figure it out," he assured her. "For now let's just figure out who did this."

Regina woke up later in the night. She was in pain and she missed Emma. She needed to be with her. To hear her voice and know for herself that she was ok. She couldn't stop thinking of how still and lifeless she had been in her arms or the way she was screaming as Carter's thugs beat her.

It was the middle of the night, however, she had no idea what time it was. From the quietness and stillness of the hospital she knew it was late in to the night. That meant she could probably find Emma without being caught. She pulled the IVs from her arm and slowly sat up, hissing at the pain in both her ribs and her stomach.

She needed to this. She wanted to be with Emma.

She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and after a few agonizing painful minutes she was able to push herself onto her feet. She nearly collapsed at the pain and exertion, but she kept standing, determined as ever.

She remembered David telling her she was only down the hall.

She focused her magic, desperately trying to awaken it. The morphine seemed to have weakened it. She tried to harness it once more like she had done in the alley. Her eyes glowed purple. It was weak from the pain and the drugs flowing in her system, but she grasped it. She could see the outline of a reception desk on one end of the hall leading to a waiting room. The other end, she could see the outline of doors. Emma had to be in the one at the end. She leaned heavily against the doorframe of her own room. She was in so much pain. Too much to even be walking. She hadn't thought this through.

She had to keep going. Giving up wasn't an option. She moved, using the wall for support as she slowly made her way down the hall.

When she finally reached the last door, her legs felt like lead. Her head was spinning and if she didn't lie down soon, there wasn't a doubt she was about to pass out from the pain and exertion.

Before she could enter however, she heard voices. Snow and David were talking in hushed voices as Emma slept.

"… she's being reckless…"

Regina frowned at Snow's angry words. Who was being reckless?

"She just wants to help Regina," David whispered back and Snow let out a frustrated groan.

"I know David, but did you see the scars and fresh cuts. She can't keep hurting herself like this. There has to be another way for her to practice her healing magic."

No…

Regina couldn't believe what she was hearing. From the sound of it, she guessed Emma was practicing healing magic on herself.

How could she have missed this? It explained how she was able to partially heal her wound back at the station.

Panic, anger and fear all swirled together. How could Emma do this? She had specifically explained the dangers of healing magic. Apparently Emma had ignored her and lied to her. She understood she was trying to help her and she was grateful for it but she didn't want the woman she loved to be hurting herself all for trying to heal a loss sense that was gone forever. There was no way this could work.

The pain suddenly became too much and she crumbled to the floor in a heap. She let out a pained cry and Snow and David's whispering abruptly stopped. Her magic fizzed out and darkness once again incased her.

She heard and felt the vibrations of footsteps. And then hands were suddenly on her shoulder and face.

"Regina?" Snow was kneeling before her, lifting her chin and making sure she didn't hit her head on the way down. Charming was standing behind her, squeezing her shoulder. "What are you doing, sweetie? You shouldn't be out of bed."

"I want to be with Emma," she whispered, still so weak from her injuries and the exertion it took to get here.

"Let's get her back to bed," David said, gently pulling her to her feet. Snow pulled her arm around her own shoulder, taking some of her weight.

"No… please," she said softly. "Take me to her. I have to know that she's ok."

David and Snow exchange looks, clearly not knowing what to do. Regina was hurt and in pain and should be back in her bed but at the same time they didn't want to keep her from Emma.

"David…" Snow didn't even have to ask. He already knew. She was never one to keep two people in love apart.

"Alright, come on," he said, gently leading her into Emma's room. "Just for a little while."

"Thank you," she whispered, as they helped her inside. Snow pulled away, letting David take most of Regina's weight. She stood by Emma's side, reaching out and softly brushing her hair from her face, waking her.

Emma stirred, her eyes opened and met her mothers.

"Mom?"

"Someone is here to see you," she said and she moved aside as David helped Regina forward. Emma's eyes soften and she glowed the moment she saw her girl.

"Oh baby…" she whispered sadly at the clear pain she was in. David and Snow helped her into the bed and under the covers beside their daughter. They watched as Regina snuggled into her and Emma placed a kiss on her cheek.

"We'll be outside, honey," Snow said, squeezing Emma's hand and briefly rubbing Regina's back before stepping out with David and closing the door.

"What are you doing here?" Emma scolded her playfully. "You're supposed to be resting."

"I am resting," Regina replied innocently, looking straight at Emma as if she can see her. Emma looked into those brown orbs before leaning in and kissing her on the lips.

They pulled away and Regina reached out until she felt Emma's warm skin beneath her fingertips. She traced her face, being careful of the bruises.

"Are you ok?" she whispered, her eyes and face so full of worry and guilt. She blamed herself. For having enemies because of the dark sorceress she once was. For putting Emma in the crossfire and for not being able to protect her.

"Just bruised a bit and I have a concussion," she said as if it were no big deal. Regina frowned and Emma looked at her in concern.

"Gina, what is it?"

She moved her hand from Emma's face trailing it down to her shoulder and along her arm until she felt the ridges of old and fresh scars. Emma immediately pulled away as if she had been burned.

"I heard your parents talking. You're cutting yourself…"

Emma was silent and that alone confirmed everything Regina had heard was true.

"I just want to help you…" she whispered so softly that Regina had almost missed it. "I'm sorry."

"You lied to me."

"Don't be angry."

Regina painfully sat up, leaving Emma's warm embrace so that she could face her properly. If she could see she'd see the guilt and shame in those green orbs. Regina shook her head, desperately trying to control her anger. She and Emma both didn't have the energy for a fight right now.

"I'm trying Emma… I'm trying not to be angry, but this can't continue. I don't care if you were doing this to help me. I don't care what your intentions were! All I care about is the fact that you are hurting yourself! I don't want you cutting yourself."

"I just wanted to heal you…" she whispered, like a stubborn child who wouldn't listen to reason. Tear stricken green eyes looked into unseeing brown. Regina's gaze was focused on some unseen point behind Emma.

"That my dear is entirely impossible, I've told you that," Regina's voice shook, not wanting to come off as harsh, but Emma need to know there was no hope in what she was doing.

"So what?" Emma seethed, suddenly becoming just as angry as Regina. "I just give up? Let you be blind for the rest of your life!"

"I can see with my magic Emma! I can see outlines of objects in front of me. That was how I saved you. It was how I walked from the porch at Grannies to the car the other day. It may not be clear but I can get by."

"Outlines!?" Emma asked. "It's not enough. You can't see Henry. You can't see me! I don't want that for you."

"And you think I do! Emma, it kills me every damn day to know I will never see your face again. That I won't be able to see Henry grow up. All I can hold on to now are the memories or your face… of your eyes because it's all I have now. There is no way that you can heal my sight even if you practiced for years. Healing is intense complicated magic that even the most powerful practioners have trouble succeeding at, so please enough of this foolish notion that you can heal me. Enough hurting yourself."

She felt Emma's hand on her cheek and Regina softly kissed her thumb as it traced her lip.

"I don't want this for you," she whispered.

"I know dear," Regina said. "I think… someday I'll have to finally accept it," she struggled to admit. "And maybe when that day comes, you'll have to accept it too."

Emma was discharged the next morning as Regina had to stay a couple of more days until they were sure her incisions were healing without infections. Ever since that first night where they had discussed Emma cutting herself, both women had become distant towards one another. Emma just didn't want to accept that Regina will be blind for the rest of her life. She believed if she practiced enough she could help her. Regina wanted her to stop. She believed it was impossible and she wasn't worth the risks. Their views were different and they couldn't seem to accept what the other wanted to do.

They hadn't seen each other since that night. Sometime in the middle of the night, Regina's doctor and nurse had moved her back to her room while she and Emma slept. Emma went home the next morning and kept herself busy at the station. Carter was nowhere to be found and since he missed their court day and because of the assault, the judge decided to sentence without trial. He was to be banished as soon as he was found. The judge was a fair man and was using Carter as an example to anyone who decided to hurt the Queen or anyone else who redeemed themselves from their dark past.

If only they could find him.

She was at the station, mulling over maps and looking for areas they've had yet to search. One way or another, no matter how long it took, she was going to find him.

"Anything?" she asked without looking up the moment David walked in with Ruby and Leroy.

"No, but we won't give up," he said, looking over the maps she's been staring at.

"We searched the alley. There's no trace but it doesn't mean we won't find him," Ruby declared before nudging Leroy. "Let's get lunch and then we'll regroup."

The moment they were gone, Emma plopped down in her chair with her head in her hand. She let out a sigh of defeat.

"Have you talk to her?" he asked, glancing at her cell.

"Nope, and even if I were to call I wouldn't know what to say. She doesn't want me to help her."

"She doesn't want you hurting yourself," he clarified leaning on the edge of her desk. Emma shot him a glare. "You're on her side too, just like mom I take it."

"Hey, there's no sides," he put his hands up in defeat. "And your mother isn't playing sides. We just don't want you hurting yourself. There has to be…"

"Another way… yeah I know," she groaned. "It's just what if she's right. What if there isn't anything we could do and she's blind forever? I just can't accept that… not without out trying everything first."

"And you will. No matter how long it takes."

"Has she said anything?"

"She's been quiet since you left. The only time she speaks is to complain that Snow is hovering over her too much. I know she misses you."

"She's still pissed at me though."

"It doesn't mean she doesn't miss you," David said, nudging her shoulder gently. "Don't wait until she's discharged from the hospital to talk to her. Go see her."

"David…" she groaned, clearly not wanting to go.

"The longer you wait, the longer your mother will be there and you know how cranky Regina gets when she's around Snow too long."

"I'll think about it," she said, getting to her feet and pulling on her red leather jacket. I'm gonna grab a coffee and then make my rounds. I'll be back later."

Emma did as she said she would. She picked up her coffee and did her rounds but when the distraction was over, she found herself driving to the town line. She wasn't planning on leaving. She just needed to think.

She stopped the car once the orange border came into view. She stepped out, closing the door with a slam. The air was cold and the sky was gray, threatening rain at any moment.

She pulled up her sleeve, revealing white bandages covering partially healed wounds. All she wanted was to help Regina. Now she could even do that. She peeled back the bandages and slowly healed the wounds completely for the first time since she started cutting herself.

She believed if kept practicing, she could heal Regina's sight. Unfortunately her parents and Regina were right. It was dangerous and being able to learn how to heal a lost sense required a little more practice then just being able to heal cuts.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she watched her skin become clear and scarless underneath the soft glow of her magic. With a heavy heart full of guilt, she decided she'll stop.

Maybe Regina was right when she spoke of acceptance.