The rain-clogged clouds parted and a little weak sunshine spilled through.
Ianto was happy.
Really happy.
He knew this was the right emotion to label his current state, because he remembered it from years ago.
Years and years ago.
The last time that Ianto had felt like this, was when his mum was alive.
He had been eight.
His mum had brought sunshine and cuddles to every day. She had been his shining beacon of comfort and love. She had tirelessly supported her children in all their endeavours. She had built forts and castles and moats. She had made costumes; spacemen, dinosaurs, kings and cowboys. Nothing was too much for her. All her time had been his and Rhiannon's.
He particularly loved their special times together, when they would share books. Ianto would be encircled in her arms, safe and warm, leaning back against her soft breast as she filled his head full of pirate adventures, spies and detectives. She had encouraged his love of The Hardy Boys and James Bond. She did not think it odd, that most of his close friends were books.
The sun went down the day she died.
It had been sudden; a short sharp shock with a horrifically long afterburn.
Cancer.
She hadn't liked to complain, so when the diagnosis was made, the prognosis wasn't good.
Three months and she was gone.
The decision was made to move; to start afresh. A smart town house was chosen.
It was never a home.
Things change however.
Now the sun had come out again.
Now Ianto had arms around him again.
He felt that if he were to fall backwards, someone who cares would be there to catch him.
It was a powerful feeling to rekindle.
He would treat it with respect. The memory of his mum deserved that at the very least.
-OOO-
Work took on a different hue. Ianto was pleased to be there. Very pleased. The reason was Jack Harkness. His not so new boss made the edges of his existence smile. Not being one for public displays of affection, Ianto surprised himself (and Jack) with his willingness to snatch bite-sized moments of pleasure with him.
It now went without saying, that Ianto would visit Jack daily.
No reason was given, he would simply slip away. Tosh had become used to halting an observation she was about to make, because Ianto was no longer standing in front of her.
Unscheduled touching became the order of the day.
When passing each other in the corridor, fingers would brush against fingers. Ianto discovered that if he was quick, he could run his palm down Jack's back and pinch his bottom, before the unsuspecting eyes of his surrounding colleagues could register the movement. The lift was his favourite playground; stopped between floors, it provided seven minutes in heaven on so many occasions, that maintenance had to be called.
Now Ianto smiled. A lot.
It was this frequent facial adornment that caught Tosh's eye. Waiting until they were alone, at lunchtime, Tosh sought to find out the source of Ianto's unusual sunny expression.
"Hey happy hobbit."
"Who are you calling a hobbit?"
"So you're not denying you're happy then?"
"No, I just object to being called a hobbit more."
Tosh sucked on her smoothie straw, whilst trying to see into the inner sanctum of Ianto's eyes.
"What gives Mr Jones?"
Ianto feigned incomprehension. His attention seemed to be taken up with choosing between a piece of melon, or a grape as his next mouthful.
"Ianto honey, what's up? I sense … a shift."
Ianto gave up trying to avoid eye-contact. This was Tosh for crying out loud, his oldest friend. It was pointless trying to hide his life from her inspection.
"I've taken up a new hobby."
"Oh?"
"Sex."
"Oh!"
"With Jack Harkness."
"Oh my goodness Ianto!"
Tosh's exclamation was so loud; it drew curious glances and stares from those within a nosey distance.
Ianto dipped his blush-tinged face.
"That's amazing. Incredible and quite frankly shocking. How? When? I feel I've missed a chapter or two. You don't like him. You said so."
"I think I need to fill you in on a few details."
"You're only thinking this now?"
Ianto chuckled good - naturedly.
"Not here though. Let's go to our closet."
"Lead on MacDuff."
Both Ianto and Tosh slid down from their perches and made their way to their secret hidey-hole. It had become necessary over recent months, to have a place that they could talk freely. The canteen was a good place to start a conversation, but more intimate details needed a more secure framework.
Hence the closet.
It was really just an abandoned stationery cupboard, on the tenth floor. The move towards a more paperless office had meant that fewer supplies were needed. Less storage space was required. Holes became available throughout the workplace. Sneaking off to drink coffee and chat, reminded Ianto of his sixth-form days, when free-periods were still a novelty which accidentally overran and ate up official lessons too.
"I can't believe I'm actually entering the closet with you." Tosh gently joked.
"Not for long, I think I've found the long-lost key to get out."
"Let's hope so hun."
Even though the chances of them being interrupted were slim, Ianto still doubled-checked the coast was clear and the door was firmly shut, before nervously plonking himself down, on one of the cushions smuggled in to make the spot more comfy.
"So…." Tosh smoothed her skirt down over her knees as she sat crossed-legged on the floor (as though this was story-time); she was keen to make a start.
"So, Owen came to see me after my…."
"Episode, yes I know."
"We chatted and I said some things."
"Such as?"
"That Jack was too close. Too real. He was invading my senses and making my head spin."
"In a good way Yan?"
"At the time I would've said no, but now…" Ianto shook his head softly and smiled serenely, as though recalling something sweet. "Then Jack came to see me too."
"Really?"
"To say thanks." Ianto turned his face away slightly, trying to rein in his happy emotions. "I'd been tidying up his den for him."
Tosh raised her eyebrows, just a teensy bit.
"We chatted, we drank and he stayed."
"Overnight?"
"Uh huh."
"Who made the first move?"
"I'd like to say him, but I think it was me. My hands had found his outline all night, they just didn't tell my brain."
"Did you feel safe, secure?"
Ianto suddenly took an active interest in his shoes. "Mostly."
"Mostly? Why only mostly? Did you have a flashback Yan?"
"Just a small one."
"Oh no, we were afraid of that."
"It was over in a minute, I swear. It didn't stop play for long."
"From the last time?"
"No the first time."
"Oh no!" Tosh reached out and enveloped Ianto in her arms. She cradled him, as she drew small soothing circles on his back. She let a minute move by. "You have to tell him."
"No." Ianto pulled away roughly, jerking himself out of her embrace; afraid and reluctant to contemplate such a thing.
"Ianto hun, if you want this to work. If you want to give this a fair chance, you have to let him know."
Ianto still shuffled away, his head resembling a nodding dog in reverse.
Tosh continued. "It'll only happen again if you don't and next time who knows what will happen?"
"I'd rather take my chances."
"No, that'd be short-sighted Ianto." She paused for breath. "I know it'll be hard but don't you see, coming clean really is the only way."
"He'll think I'm a freak."
"He won't. He'll understand, especially if you paint him the full picture."
"But I like this. I don't want to ruin this."
"You won't, the truth can only make things better. Remember you won't be alone in all this, Owen and I will be right by your side."
Ianto finally looked up. Tears threatened to spill over his bottom lashes.
"This is so new. I don't want to be alone again."
"You won't be. He'll understand. I just know it."
"He'll dump me, just like Lisa. I couldn't bear it."
"Lisa" Tosh said the name with stiffness and disdain "was different, very different. I don't get the same vibe from Jack; he'll cope admirably I'm sure of it."
"Promise?" Ianto sounded very childlike, his face pained.
"You know I would if I could hun." Tosh gave the smallest of smiles in reply to his request. "Just promise me that you'll tell him, ok?"
Ianto paused and but then nodded.
"Good, I'm proud of you."
"I haven't done it yet."
"I know, but you will. If there's one thing I know about you Ianto, it's that you are a man of your word."
"Hmmm" was all Ianto could permit himself to say.
-O-
As they stepped out of the closet, Ianto spotted an incentive on the floor, by the wastepaper bin. Whilst the winning lottery ticket was still registering with his brain, Tosh swooped down and pocketed the discarded lighter, before Ianto had had the chance to see what colour it was.
He did not need any distractions at this point, she calmly reasoned.
Ianto squeezed her hand in thanks.
They silently made their way back to work.
-OOO-
Owen Harper wasn't a lazy man. He would rather be thorough than take short-cuts. When read the fable of the Tortoise and the Hare as a child, he would always root for the Tortoise, whilst his brothers invariably plumped for the Hare.
In the professional arena, Owen was adept at putting systems in place and expecting them to run smoothly.
Recently he had hit a road-block.
His out-of-hours-service.
It seemed to be performing too well. That is to say, in the last three weeks Owen had only been called out three times. On the plus side this meant that he had had more sleep. On the minus side, something didn't feel right and Owen always trusted his feelings.
The doctor felt duty-bound to investigate.
When questioned, his receptionist Traci didn't perceive there to be a problem.
"It's just quiet." She told him.
Owen remained unconvinced. He implemented Plan B.
Later that night:
"Dr Harper's Out-of-Hours-Service. How may I help you?"
"May I speak to Dr Harper please?"
"Is it an emergency?"
"Surely he would need to determine that."
"It's just that he only deals with emergencies at this hour. Routine calls need to be made during office hours."
"I'm a patient of his and I'm having a crisis, may I speak with him?"
"Is it a life or death situation sir or could you hold on until 9am?"
"Excuse me!"
"It's just that he's a very busy man and his time is precious. It's not to be wasted."
"I'm mentally-ill, I'm in a critical state, I'd like to be put through immediately."
"We all have our crosses to bear sir, but I'm afraid your self-assessment isn't sufficient to allow me to put you through. You would need a doctor's referral."
"Dr Harper is my doctor!"
"His office hours are 9-5, would you like to call back then?"
Owen had heard enough.
"No Traci Hughes I would not like to call back then."
"Aaah, how do you know my name? Are you one of those stalker thingies? I've got a whistle you know."
"Well I've got your P45 in my hand. Traci, this is Dr Harper, consider yourself fired."
"Sir?"
"You heard me Traci, but if you are hard of hearing, drop by the clinic tomorrow between 9-5 and I will repeat myself during office hours."
Owen disconnected the call.
Mystery solved.
-OOO-
Tosh had been thrilled to hear Ianto's news. In all the time that she had known him, something had always haunted him. Something had always stalked his psyche and his sleep patterns. Until a year ago this spectre had been nameless, but then tucked away, practically under the stairs Ianto had revealed his true self.
Tosh had been so relieved, but it seemed to cause Ianto more stress.
He started drinking.
He started collecting matchboxes.
He disappeared - occasionally.
Recently he had seemed calmer, more jovial, some might say happy.
Now she knew she had Captain Jack to thank for that, she was an extra layer of thrilled.
Even though Jack Harkness was her boss, she felt the desire to congratulate him. She also needed to return his mended watch.
This was where she was heading now. To kill two birds with one stone.
Tosh had only been to Jack's office once before, for her induction. It was difficult to find, situated as it was, almost in the basement, down a labyrinth of corridors, all seemingly leading to the same spot. She had been walking ten minutes already and was sure she had passed this door before.
Then just ahead, she spied Jack. He was carrying a lot of files and his face was obscured. Relieved that she wouldn't have to make it to the centre of this particular Crystal Maze, his name was on the tip of her tongue when, she thought she saw the following.
She thought she saw the wall in front of Jack fold down like a concertina to allow him to step through it, before unfolding itself like a fan; but that couldn't be true.
Could it?
-OOO-
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