(Originally posted 15/05/13)
-OOO-
This was becoming a habit.
Waking up with what felt like the Grand National running between his ears. Ianto let out a groan, which reverberated alarmingly around the race course, where his brain used to live. He tried to remember all the details of the previous evening, but his memory failed at the final furlong.
There had been wine, of that he was sure.
There had been crystal. Broken crystal. Ianto vaguely recalled crunching a favoured goblet underfoot. Unusually for him, he had not cleared away the debris straight away. Annoyance settled upon the shoulders of a competing jockey. Now Ianto only had 5 goblets left of this particular set.
He hated odd numbers.
Wearily he raised his left hand to sweep his in-need-of-a -trim fringe out of his eyes.
Jesus H Ouch.
Now he remembered.
There had been blood.
-O-
Slowly Ianto gently held his arm aloft. Even more slowly he brought the now throbbing limb into view. The flesh on the underside of forearm was now patterned with tiny xxs. The top layer of skin was still fluid. The xxs were opening and closing their mouths like fish underwater, talking silently to each other.
The longer Ianto stared, the pinker the fabric of his arm became. The bleeding lessons had not been forgotten.
Here comes the goody bag.
Always the diva, mistress pain made her entrance last. She set up a dull but insistent rhythm with her heels and hands, which Ianto instinctively knew would accompany him all day.
Ianto felt a little bit faint. Kind of woozy. He wanted to lie down. Only he already was.
He threw his head back against his pillow and released another groan.
Today had trying written all over it.
-OOO-
Toshiko Sato wasn't really a touchy-feely type of girl. She preferred hard facts and statements to instincts and hunches. If she could see it, touch it, read it and refute it, she was a happy camper.
Only sometimes a different approach was needed. Sometimes it was necessary to (and she hated this phrase) step outside the box and do some blue sky thinking.
Ordinarily the thought made her shudder; but life wasn't being ordinary at the moment.
Captain Jack Harkness was beginning to rise through the ranks, of what Tosh considered to be indefinable.
Increasingly, whenever he was near, Tosh began to feel that something was afoot. Something was different.
Good different or bad different, she couldn't quite put her finger on and this un-nerved her.
Of course she still had the little matter, of the concertina wall to keep her awake at night. She still thought about this, she did, but now Captain Jack's mere presence was beginning to concern her more.
Take yesterday for example. When Jack had introduced the new Head of Security to just Ianto,
(he seemed to have forgotten my name).
Tosh got the distinct impression that Jack had been trying to hold Ianto in his arms, even though they did not move from his side. When Ianto had rushed from the room suddenly, Tosh felt that Jack had actually stepped forward to prevent him leaving, even though he hadn't moved a muscle.
This.
Was.
Weird.
No?
The trouble was Tosh didn't feel she could broach the subject with her best friend. How does one tactfully say I think your boyfriend is strange, and remain on good terms? No, the only person Tosh felt she could unburden herself to was Owen Harper.
However that option, stirred up all sorts of feelings too.
-OOO-
Ianto liked to think of himself as mild-mannered. Never one to make a fuss. He liked to think that he bore the slings and arrows of everyday life with aplomb. He didn't play to the gallery, he was more of an emotional shock-absorber, soaking up life's negativity and dealing with it later… much later.
This is what he liked to think.
However the reality of the situation was that Ianto had episodes. Little and not-so-little events, that provided emotional and psychological relief. He had a body-clock that ticked to its own rhythm. An internal safety-valve that relieved itself with a frequency that was increasing.
Not that Ianto was fully aware of this - yet.
-O-
Today Ianto dressed with added care. His flesh wounds necessitated that he wear his dark red shirt. He rolled the sleeves down and fastened his workaday cufflinks, more precisely than he usually did. He was beginning to accommodate the needling pain, which lay beneath the pressed cotton.
Accommodate but not tolerate.
He felt drained before his day had properly begun.
-O-
Ianto spirits rose as soon as he entered his lab. Tosh was there to greet him.
"Hey you"
Ianto smiled wanly, he bent down and wrapped his arms gingerly around his early morning tonic and buried his face in her sleek and shiny hair.
"Hey yourself. You're here early."
"I know, I've been volunteered." Tosh still on tiptoe seemed reluctant to end the hug.
"Volunteered?" Ianto quirked an eyebrow. "What's going on?"
Finally letting go, Tosh patted a seat next to the bench where they worked. Ianto sat. They were at eye-level now.
"Well it seems that it's all change at Torchwood Centraal these days."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning hunny bun, our dynamic duo is set to become a threesome."
"Excuse me?" Ianto looked horrified. The rug under his feet was being tugged at.
"Yes we've got a new girl starting today. She comes highly recommended. Her name's Gwen. Gwen Cooper."
Ianto swayed slightly with the shock. He wasn't anywhere near his smooth, cool, granite-like usual self.
His façade had been chipped at recently and he felt his foundations faltering.
"Does she have to join our team, what's wrong with Gareth's?"
Tosh laughed lightly and shook her head. She was used to Ianto's slow-burn approach to change.
"She's considered an asset. Very deductive, apparently and a transfer from the police force. She's a scientific late-bloomer."
Ianto released his third groan of the day.
"Tow stop behaving like Just William and give the girl a chance."
Tosh gave Ianto's arm a friendly shove. He flinched more than he should have.
"Wait, what was that?"
"Nothing."
"Are you hurt Tow?"
"It's nothing, leave it."
"Is that blood on your sleeve?"
"It's minor. I just cut myself shaving."
Tosh wrinkled her brow. "Shaving your wrists?"
Ianto then did something he had never ever done before. He lied to his best friend.
"Yes."
Tosh jerked her head as the word bounced off her ear-drums. She heard the lie, but couldn't fathom the reason why. It was as though their friendship had encountered a rift.
-OOO-
Gwen Cooper entered the laboratory at 08:59 precisely. Tall, dark and curvaceous, she was easy on the eye, make no mistake.
Tosh greeted her warmly and introduced her to her slightly sullen lab partner.
"Gwen Cooper." The new addition extended her hand.
"Jones. Ianto Jones." The established employee did not.
Quickly smoothing over the millisecond of awkwardness, Tosh sent Ianto on an errand to make coffee, hoping that the reviving properties of the beverage, would work their magic on him.
Ianto left the room willingly.
Upon his return, Ianto's eyes relayed a sight to him that his brain retched to receive.
Jack Harkness had entered the room and was playing the genial host - a little too well. He had his arm around Gwen Cooper's waist and he was laughing.
They were laughing.
Hair was being swished (Gwen's not Jack's).
Heads were being thrown back (Gwen and Jack's).
Chests were being patted flirtatiously (just Jack's).
Generally a good time was being had by all.
Ianto watched with a green-flavoured heart.
He set the tray of drinks down on the bench in front of him and left the room - again.
-O-
In the Gents once more (his new home from home), Ianto splashed cold water on his face. The rapid repetitive movement made his forearm itch incessantly. A flame was beginning to inch up his body.
He stared at his face in the mirror.
It looked drawn.
The unyielding florescent strip lighting highlighted the dark shadows under his eyes and drew attention to the deepening lines on his forehead. Ianto felt as though he had aged five years in a day.
Receding looks aside; the Welshman knew he had to come up with a plan, to see off this latest interloper.
One was an annoyance.
Two was a downright threat.
Ianto gave it some thought and then he smiled.
-OOO-
Gwen Cooper was having a great day so far. Usually first days were nerve-wracking. Bonds needed to be established. Faces needed to be memorised. Quirks needed to be noted.
Everything was so new.
Yet here at Torchwood, everything felt incredibly familiar already, as though she had been here before.
This was where she was meant to be.
The people that she had met so far had been friendly, except one. She had had a laugh and a joke with everyone, except one; and she really liked her boss.
A lot.
Captain Jack Harkness was tall, dark and handsome. He seemed like a throwback from a bygone age. He was suave, sophisticated, with just a hint of naughtiness and a sexy American accent. What was not to like?
He appeared to like her too.
Bonus.
New job, new playmate.
A little workday fun always made the time pass more quickly. If they were both willing and no-one got hurt, what harm could it do?
It was a win-win situation.
All she had to do now was to make her play.
-OOO-
Ianto Jones re-entered the room all sweetness and light.
A scowling schoolboy had left.
A smiling cherub had returned.
There was no sign of Jack. He made his way over to Gwen.
"Hi I'm Ianto" he held out his hand in invitation, "my hand was covered in bat juice, earlier occupational hazard," he shook her's, "pleased to meet you."
"Oh" Gwen seemed a bit surprised, "well I'm still Gwen, Gwennie-the-pooh to my friends. It's nice to meet you too."
Gwen gave Ianto a side-ways glance. His looks really did improve when he smiled. He was almost cute.
Ianto knew he was being carefully scrutinised. He made his smile broader.
"I know it can be daunting on your first day. If you need any help at all, just give me a shout. I'll be happy to help."
Gwen looked relieved, actually she needed help already. Even though she had been given the passwords to get into Torchwood's U.N.I.T computer system, this vital piece of information had flown in one ear and out the other.
"Thank you." She let a moment pass. "Actually could you tell me the password to get into the system again? I can't read my own writing." Gwen flicked a brand-new note-pad in front of Ianto's face briefly.
Ianto smiled internally.
"Yes of course it's WEEVILS. Block capitals, our system is case sensitive."
"Thanks again."
"Don't mention it."
Ianto turned his back while Gwen tapped away at her inherited keyboard.
"W. E. E. "She was one of those who's voice box and brain worked in tandem. "Are there two e's or three in Weevils?"
Tosh overheard this enquiry and came rushing over from her bench.
"STOP! Don't type any more of that word."
Gwen looked up, puzzled.
"Why not?"
Leaning over Gwen, Tosh carefully deleted the characters already present on her screen.
"That is our Doomsday password. Type in that word and our entire system will think that we are under attack and will shut down, and put itself in lockdown for seven days, while it scans all our data and files."
Tosh looked panicked. Ianto hid his features.
Gwen recovered well.
"Silly me, I must've read my notes wrong. My handwriting's terrible. I should've been a doctor. So what is the correct password?"
"Myfanwy, it's the name of our founder's pet."
"Ah that's sweet. I'll be sure to remember that in future."
"Please do." Tosh shook her head as she walked away. Normally she wouldn't be dealing with this sort of thing un-fortified. Normally she would have had a coffee by now. She shot Ianto's back a look. It was not like him to forget things. Today was definitely taking on a different hue.
-OOO-
"She's new."
"I know she's new, but it's such a big mistake to make."
"It's her first day, cut her some slack."
"She came highly recommended too, can't see why."
Tosh and Ianto were sitting in their usual places, taking in their usual view in the cafeteria at lunch-time.
"Listen little t, starting a new job is always a bit over-whelming, she's probably suffering from a bit of cotton-wool head. You'll see. Next week she'll be brilliant."
"Not sure I can wait that long." Tosh knew she was being tetchy and that Gwen Cooper wasn't really the root cause of her current mood; but right now she needed a cat to kick and Gwen was purring beautifully.
-OOO-
On the way back to their desks Ianto and Tosh bumped into Gwen looking a bit flustered and lost. Tosh quickly excused herself and nipped into the Ladies.
Gwen and Ianto faced each other. A small silence descended.
"Sorry about earlier."
"It's not a problem."
"I always get those two passwords mixed up for some reason."
"Really it's not an issue."
"Thanks for not saying anything." Ianto looked genuine.
"What are friends for?"
"Where are you off to now?" Good manners were creeping up on Ianto, despite his earlier mood.
"I need to find H.R. All my security photos have to be taken."
"H.R. is on the top floor." It was. "These lifts go there, but they're slow. Why don't you take these stairs on your right, follow them to the top, go through the heavy double doors and you'll be there. It'll save you time and you won't be claustrophobic either."
Gwen paused; she had trusted this guy last time and look where that had got her. She was normally a good judge of character, but she was finding Mr Jones a little hard to read. She looked at her watch. It was 13.58. Her appointment was at 14.00. Her decision had been made for her. If she wanted to be on time, she was going to have to shake a leg.
"Just up these stairs you say?"
"Uh huh."
"Great." With that she was off.
Ianto noted that even though she was wearing heels, she still ran with speed.
Impressive.
-OOO-
During the clinicians' coffee break, Gwen Cooper returned. She looked flushed but happy. Apparently the staircase that she had mounted with speed had led to the rooftop and not directly to H.R. She did not fully realise this until after the heavy double doors had shut fast behind her.
She was trapped.
Momentarily.
Unable to keep her cool she had begun to assault the doors with her mouth, fists and feet. The racket had disturbed a figure, which had been standing alone on the roof, surveying the great expanse that was Cardiff.
Captain Jack Harkness had been lost in thought; until his reverie had been shattered by some choice and imaginative swear words.
He would have to ponder his dilemma later.
Gwen had been relieved to discover, that Jack had a knack for opening the fortress like barriers. He had led her downstairs and had bought her a coffee to help her get over her temporary ordeal.
He had stayed with her throughout.
They had chatted (and flirted), a bit.
Dropping her off at H.R. afterwards, he had acted like a gentleman and had made apologies on her behalf.
Gwen Cooper then went on to tell her box-fresh colleagues that Jack Harkness was not only a dreamboat; but in her opinion, completely lush too.
Ianto Jones' emerald heart burst into flames.
-OOO-
Owen Harper was a very busy man. Supervising the management of a myriad of patients' minds, did not leave him with much free time.
Hobbies and pet projects had to be squeezed into his timetable, on an ad hoc basis.
So aiming to multi-task, (a little trick that he had picked up from Toshiko), Owen resolved to remove a recently acquired splinter from his finger and speak on the phone to his best friend.
Tosh's phone rang for ages at his end. They had had discussions about this before; apparently she only received three rings before it went to voicemail, whereas Owen had time to recite the Lord's Prayer twice if he had wanted to.
He made a start on his splinter. It being in his right hand, Owen had to hold the tweezers in his left.
Precision was not going to be a part of this process.
He started digging. Despite the fact that Owen Harper had held a scalpel more than once in his lifetime, he was surprisingly squeamish, when it came to splitting his own skin.
It was a medical fact that Owen was annoyed to discover was true, it is always the smallest injuries that cause the most pain. As Owen delved beneath the second layer of skin, he had water in his eyes and a yelp on his lips.
"Hello?"
"Aaah um."
"Hello?!" Tosh wasn't sure she was correctly connected.
"Shit arrgh fuck."
"I'm sorry do I know you?"
Having spliced far deeper than he intended, Owen was now bleeding profusely and panting heavily into the handset, which was beginning to slip from his grasp.
"You've got the wrong number you pervert. I'm cutting you off now and calling the police."
"No Tosh wait, it's me. Owen."
"Owen! What is the matter with you!? Is this some sort of sick joke?"
"No, don't hang up. I've cut my finger and I'm bleeding."
"Bleeding annoying."
"Thanks for your sympathy."
"You're welcome."
"Hang on a minute; let me get a bandage for my cut and I'll be right with you."
Tosh listened as Owen made a drip trail to the supply cupboard and back. Packages were rumbled and plastic was attacked with teeth. Soon Owen sounded a little less breathless and a lot more in control.
"So I spoke with my friends" he continued.
"Which friends?"
"Those friends."
"Oh I see." Tosh nodded her head, even though she knew Owen couldn't see her.
"They said no problem is too big, as long as we can get hold of some DNA."
"DNA?"
"Yes, a hairbrush, a toothbrush, a used cotton-bud, anything really. Do you think you could do this?"
Tosh paused for thought. She wasn't a natural cat-burglar, but in this case, she would make an exception.
She would snoop amongst Jack's belongings, for the higher good.
"Of course. No problem. Leave it to me. It'll be my mission and I choose to accept it."
"Good girl. Now get off my phone, I'm losing a limb here."
"Such cheek!"
Even though Tosh scoffed and tutted aloud, she did as she was told. Time was of the essence.
-OOO-
Whilst Tosh was preoccupied on the phone, Ianto made his way back to his now familiar parlour.
Staring at his reflection was fast becoming his new hobby. He took deep breaths to steady his jangling nerves. Gwen was closer to rather than further away from Jack.
There must be a flaw in his plan.
He couldn't think what.
He had tried to discredit her abilities, lose her, yet still she recovered with grace. There was only one thing for it.
He would have to remove her.
As Ianto stepped away from the mirror in front of him, he was alarmed by the expression that was currently resident on his face. He had only seen it once before.
On that night.
-O-
Normally Ianto liked to plan. He liked to know exactly what was going to happen, at exactly what point.
Today was different. Today Ianto was having to take his chances, as they presented themselves to him.
Like now.
Trailing his fingers along the wall on his way back to his lab, Ianto bumped into an invitation. Without thinking Ianto r.s.v.p-ed. His fingers stroked his new best friend and then smashed it.
Alarm bells rang out.
Literally.
The shrill shriek of the Fire Alarm brought everyone into the corridor. Including Gwen.
Looking panicked and confused she sought guidance. From Ianto.
Standing in the middle of the vortex, Ianto was able to calmly tell her where their assembly point was. Theirs was separate from the others, so she would have to follow his instructions carefully.
Gwen seemed to be holding up well, until the sprinklers kicked in. There's something about resembling a wet rodent that tends to upset most women.
Gwen meekly followed Ianto down the stairs, comforted by his presence, until he turned back, knowing it was against the rules, to retrieve his briefcase.
-O-
Everyone was assembled.
Names were being taken.
Everyone was there.
Except Gwen.
-O-
Slinking off, Ianto went to admire his handiwork. He walked towards the bins, by the edge of the car-park.
What he saw there did not make his day.
There was Gwen.
Soaking wet.
Her white blouse now thoroughly see-through, due to his stunt.
There was Gwen.
Talking to Jack.
Accepting his offer of a lift.
There was Gwen.
Being driven away.
Snuggling in, making herself more comfortable.
There was Gwen.
Alone with Jack.
-OOO-
Ianto wanted to pluck out his eyes and donate them to charity.
He wanted to spontaneously combust.
Never had he had a plan fail.
Never.
He left the car-park and trudged his way along the street. He was looking for solace, redemption, oblivion. He found the key to all of the above, in his favourite toyshops. Dipping into one allowed him to slip into the other with a lighter step. Hours disappeared in his company, before aided and abetted by copious amounts of wine, Ianto decided to carry out his brightest idea of the day.
-O-
He returned to work.
He made his way to Jack's den.
The den was napping lightly.
Ianto entered through the open door, on feet that could not be described as steady. He shut the door behind him. Damp and dejected, he dumped his briefcase on the floor and set to work.
Jack had reverted back to his messy ways. There were papers everywhere.
Good.
Ianto began to screw up and scrunch together sheet after sheet. He left them in hastily arranged funeral pyres around the room.
The den woke up. Annoyed at being disturbed.
Once Ianto had at least ten piles to play with, he reached for his family-sized box of matches that he had purchased. He started to set light to his paper pebbles, much to the horror of the den.
Excuse me, what do you think you're doing?
The den may only be a girl, but she was not averse to fighting with boys.
As Ianto moved from stack to stack, the den gently blew out the burgeoning flames created by the previous match. Ianto was too preoccupied to notice.
The room began to fill with smoke, but not flames. This eventually began to puzzle Ianto. Thinking that he had bought a duff box of matches (tools, workman, bad), he re-doubled his efforts to entice a blaze into the bunker.
The den had to up her game.
So she flooded herself.
Again.
Ianto started to notice a squelching sound as he moved. He looked down. He couldn't quite believe it. Water was seeping in from somewhere. His socks were soaking. His feet were beginning to slide in his handmade shoes. Determined to achieve at least one successful outcome, Ianto sought fresh fuel. He spotted it. Up high. Jack had dry review files on the top shelf of his bookcase; all he had to do was reach out for them.
He may have to climb.
He started to.
The den went from being annoyed to outraged.
What have I ever done to you?
In a well-timed move, the den deliberately broke the shelf that Ianto was balanced on and as he fell, she aimed a heavy chair at the back of his head.
She needed him out of action.
Quickly.
Ianto didn't know what had hit him.
For a light guy, he went down heavy.
-O-
Now contrary to popular belief the den actually liked Ianto. He was beautiful to behold, made aromatic coffee and made Jack happy, so she now had a dilemma on her hands - so to speak. Unfazed, (she was a modern girl of sorts) she decided to use the social media, to alert Jack Harkness of the current situation.
The den swiftly took a picture of Ianto and sent it to Jack's mobile via Instagram.
He should have it within seconds.
As long as he checked his messages.
The den now settled back to watch over Ianto, as his nostrils slowly filled with water.
-OOO-
Comments are always appreciated