Chapter 4: What have you done, (Pla)Neptune!?
Today was a day just like any other. Everything is well, people are having lots of fun with video games, pets, eating pudding, and Histoire becoming Headachetoire. However, that last item did not seem right, and indeed, bad things are bound to happen in the basilicom, just because it is Planeptune.
The main reason that Histoire was caught up in a massive headache is due to the endless phone calls from all of Gamindustri. Since Planeptune was the originator of the Nep-Pets, naturally somebody had to open a feedback centre for improvements. To fulfill this goal, Histoire had several phones on her desk, one for each nation, and one for general use. Like all new things, there were bound to be rough spots and glitches and various things, and so Histoire has gathered up some of the most important issues and wrote them down. Not that this would stop people from continually ringing the cursed phones of course.
Perhaps what did not help was that for some strange reason, Planeptune's CPU seems to have gone missing since morning time. Usually the CPU Candidate in Nepgear would be awake earlier than the CPU herself, but apparently Nepgear never saw where Neptune went and so Histoire just had to make due.
Still, maybe it was not all that bad. Histoire often had to drag, yell, pull, or even spank the CPU into working, and with that one day of work, Planeptune now has the most shares in all of Gamindustri, as well as also a very favourable position on the economic side of things. Only it was at the expense of Histoire being flooded with phone calls and more administrative duties. After all, it was Histoire who had somewhat carelessly left the stack of papers for the whole project on Neptune's desk that one day and forgetting to warn the bumbling CPU not to do anything with it, and the fact that Histoire failed to check what was being processed lead to this whole ordeal.
"..." Histoire was still silent, as any moment another phone could go off and she would have to listen to more complaints and/or feedback. "(The basilicom staff are also all busy with development as well... Now that I think about it, where has Nepgear gone as well? This is the most important time for Planeptune!)"
Of course, bad things just has to happen when Histoire is trying to get everything in order, as pieces of the ceiling broke and debris fell to the ground. This angered Histoire greatly, she did not even need to guess what this was. Looking up, a Spotted Plum-met has broken the ceiling, and because of gravity, IF was holding on to the end of the pipe and trying not to fall to a painful landing. It did not work though, IF landed painfully and Histoire was at a loss for words, but not surprised in the least.
"Well, sorry about the landing, I was..." IF managed to say, before Histoire finished the line knowing full well of what those types of pets do already.
"Trying to arrive at the Basilicom entrance? Yes, many people have been doing that too," Histoire said, before another phone interrupts, no doubt another complaint.
Seeing Histoire busy with another complaint call, IF remembered that she and Compa were both heading to this basilicom, and that would mean Compa would be here any moment now. Looking out the window, IF saw Compa flying closer and opened all the possible openings to ensure a safe landing. Before she knew it, Compa flew in on her Horsebird and landed safely.
"You know, I am surprised that you could fly all the way here and to such heights," IF commented, while from the outside of Planeptune to the basilicom was not that long of a distance, it sure was quite a height to fly up on a Horsebird of all things.
"This one was surprisingly energetic, especially after I treated it after its injury," Compa replied, proud to have a pet companion that was as happy as she was.
"Yeah yeah, and that's when you left out the part you actually forgot you were wearing that gadget and made that into your pet."
"Oh Iffy, you didn't need to mention that."
As IF and Compa casually chatting, their attention diverted to Histoire who slammed the phone down and wrote something down again. Clearly something had went wrong for the Nepth time today.
"Oh Histoire, is something wrong?" Compa asked.
"Yes, apparently a careless pair from Fa-Leanbox had their made two former ASIC members into their pets, and so I need to figure out what to do for them." Histoire responded, with the most dull monotone voice she could manage.
"Well, that really sounds like the Underling... Still, is there any way we can help?" IF asked, seeing Histoire drained most likely from the workload of pretty much the entire world.
"Yes actually, both Neptune and Nepgear has gone missing since today, it would be great if you two could find them, there is much work to take care of in Planeptune right now and-" Histoire said while another phone rings, this time it was from Lowee.
"I guess we'll try to find those two..." IF said, taking charge and leaving the room through the exit while her Spotted Plum-met retracted and broke more of the ceiling with more debris falling to the ground. Compa and her Horsebird also followed IF, but before actually leaving the room, her Horsebird left something on the floor (At this point, Histoire wanted to explode and probably kill something, these pets were not really worth the economic advantage or the shares that Planeptune got! If only this were a bad nightmare, it would have been fine, but Histoire knows it was not by the pages of her tomb recording every single pet incident).
"Where are we going to look for Nep-Nep and Ge-Ge?" Compa asked while outside, completely oblivious to what her Horsebird just did.
"Hmm, for once I don't think they are both goofing off in the same place. We were with Nepgear minding the store for awhile while Nep was just... planning something. I think we can probably find Nepgear easier, and then we'll try to look for Nep."
"Oh right. I remember Nep-Nep gave Ge-Ge one of the limited first-edition of the gadget that allowed 3 pets instead of one."
"Yeah, that's what kinda worries me..."
Meanwhile, Histoire had just finished sanitising the floor as well as clearing some of the debris from the Spotted Plum-met's handiwork. How in the world that type of pet in particular causes so much grief and misery across Gamindustri is a mystery. When those enemies were fought in dungeons, they would just move across the floor and not causes any damage, so why in the world when they appear as pets for people they just seem to break all laws of physics as well as any and all ground? As perplexing the issue was, Histoire knew it would just be simpler to apply a patch in discussion with Planeptune's R&D to prevent such inconveniences.
The basilicom was sort of in order again, besides the hole in the ceiling, Histoire sat down again, there was simply no time for a break, the phone lines would be going off again at any moment. All day she had been trying to give some sort of customer support to people regarding how to use the Nep-Pet gadget or solve solutions that were simple enough to solve if people used their common sense. The most unfortunate thing was also that since the whole gadget originated from Planeptune, there was no trend of pattern to what pets people from Planeptune would get. Lowee had Tetsri, Plum-met, and some Poxvader as mainstays to add even more colour to their nation. Lastation had all sorts of mechanical M-3 and R-4 with customisation. Fat-Leanbox has Sunflowery, Cardbirds, and Pumpkinmons to compliment their growing farm lands.
As for Planeptune... well, it was a big mixture of whatever Lowee, Lastation, and Leanbox had plus more. Some people had Spiders and Tarantulas, much to the dismay of arachnophobes. In the more urban areas with arcade machines, there were lots of people with Meowvaders, Calicovaders, Swinevaders, Baconvaders, and the like. People with more niche interests had Tomeki Sister and Stalking Sister pets wandering around, but not very often would they come out openly with them just because of how much they would stand out with those pets. In general, Planeptune had almost become a Zoo of sorts, there was everything here and surprisingly though, Planeptune's technology was able to keep up perfectly with pet needs and even manage well the exports to other nations.
It still did not change the fact that an Oracle's job was an absolute nightmare however, and perhaps the only silver lining was perhaps that while the Colosseum enemies are convertible into pets, no ordinary adventurer or the general populace would be able to fight off the real troublesome beasts in there (At least this was what Histoire thought). And now it was time for the usual answering of calls, it was always a known fact there are idiots in Gamindustri, but few really go on hearing about it. Until now that is, with Histoire answering the phone calls and having to answer the most ridiculous questionss ever:
Call #1:
"Hello, I would like to know how to install a cannon on my EDGE Pet?"
"This line is for general inquiries and not specific pet modifications, ask a technician from Lastation if you need help."
Call #3:
"Hello, I would like to ask if I can sell my pet so I can free up space for another."
"Currently we do not have such a feature, and in the general rule book, transaction between pets are illegal, please do not do such things."
Call #10:
"Hello! What would be a good snack item for an Ice Fenrir and a Dolphin when we're being chased by a Killachine?"
"Why are you being-"
"Ram! It's here, we gotta run!"
"Ooopes sorry, we need to go bye!"
*click*
"..."
Call #11:
"Excuse me, but what should I do when people say that my Dragon has a bigger chest size than me!?"
"This is not really a pet-related issue, but I would suggest you growing up!"
Call #23:
"Hello, I'd some help on my homework."
"This is not a homework-help line!"
Call #34:
"Yo mighty Oracle of Planeptune, which pet do you think would be best to include in my homemade X-rated video?"
"..."
*Click!*
(Histoire did not have anything to say to that)
Call #37:
"Hey, how do you beat the Gargoyle at Suaho Mountain? His stats are insanely high!"
"This is not NepFaqs help line, and also the wrong game to be asking that!"
Call #38:
"Where can I find Anonydeath? I'd like that as a pet!"
"This story only includes the bestiary from mk2, don't ask me anything regarding Victory's bestiary!"
Call #69:
"Hey baby, wanna try out a new position tonight?"
"You have the wrong number!"
*Click!*
Call #74:
"Hey, I was wondering, there is an Uni as well as multiple Rom and Ram entires in the bestiary, can we convert those to pets?"
"Theoretically speaking, yes. However, new rules will probably patch those for pets in the future. Also, if you value your life, you would not even try to convert those to pets."
Call #78:
"Histoire, will you be my pet?"
"Do I have a bestiary entry? No? There's your answer then!"
Call #108:
"What's the big idea Histoire? Why can't I buy one of those gadgets that your nation has?"
"Because you're dead Arfoire..."
Call #255:
"Histoire, I seem to have a slight problem. Uni has a Zegallion for a pet, should we ban Colosseum foes from being convertible?"
"Yes, we should definitely do that, let's schedule a meet with the rest of the Oracles sometime later."
Call #1337:
"I have here the most eleet potion tha-"
"No solicitation calls please! And don't even think of breaking into my basilicom with your Plum-met!"
*Click*
Call #9001:
"Hiya Histy! It looks like your call number is OVER NINE THO-"
"No! None of that! Shame on you!"
*Click!*
It was there that Histoire just realised that last phony caller was Neptune, but she hung up so fast that it was too late to track the CPU. Histoire sighed as the final minutes of the call centre ticked down and it was time to close the phone lines for the day (Oh thank the Neps). This was truly a thankless job, it would probably not been too bad if not for the endless stupid callers as well as a certain CPU and CPU Candidate to help out. Speaking of CPUs, Histoire wondered just where Neptune and Nepgear was all day, but no sooner had she finished her thought she would at least have an answer for the latter.
"Oh goodness, we've really got caught up in the store again and it got this late!" Said a voice from just outside the hallway, clearly belonging to Nepgear.
"I just hope Histoire is all right, she sounded pretty stressed," said another voice, belonging to IF.
There was also audible sounds of something bouncing about as well, which was very distracting in the halls of the basilicom, and it was bad that the sounds are approaching near. However, before the door was opened, there was a distinct noise.
-Dogoo FUSION!-
At once, the door to the room burst apart as well as bits and parts of the wall near the door as a Grandogoo appeared and was playfully squishing Nepgear, IF, and Compa underneath. It was obvious that for whatever reason, Nepgear used the limited first edition Nep-Pet for 3 Dogoos, and they had just fused to form the Grandogoo.
"I take it that you three had a good day?" Histoire asked, being very calm now that she has pretty much heard and saw most things relating to pets that such a sight no longer surprises her.
"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to skip out the whole day, I was in fact looking for my sister in some of her hiding places," Nepgear explained as she slid out from her Grandogoo. Of course, Nepgear had also intended to fulfill some quests, but during the Dogoo clearing quest, she had the gadget on and converted 3 Dogoos into her own pets instead.
"So Nepgear, even you haven't heard from Neptune all day, this could only mean something bad is about to happen..."
At once, the phone rang again, but it was not the regular phone lines for customer service, it was one for contacting Histoire directly by either personal contacts or the guild, which meant it could be even worse news. Picking up the call, Histoire answered.
"Hello?"
"Hello Histoire? This is Falcom. I had spent my day with recruiting my Metal Dogoo, but when as I was leaving LAN Castle, I saw this very unusual sight that you may want to check out..." Falcom said from the other end, as Histoire took in the details.
"What!?" Histoire said in response to everything Falcom was telling her. It turns out, Histoire was wrong about seeing or hearing about everything about pets, this one thing had gotten her attention and not in a good way.
"Oh no, is Histoire all right?" Compa asked, knowing it was unusual that Histoire would lose her usual calm self.
Histoire turned around and only gave a short response, "There's something I need to attend to, please excuse me..." With that, Histoire headed out the basilicom in a hurry, but Nepgear, IF, and Compa could not help but notice the mixture of worry and possible anger in Histoire's face.
"Gee, I wonder what made her hurry out so fast?" IF asked, a little curious to see Histoire like that.
"Should we try and follow her? It sounds like something bad just happened..." Nepgear said, as she was able to figure out how to diffuse her Grandogoo back into 3 Dogoos.
"Yeah, I think its best," IF said, as she signalled and her Spotted Plum-met broke through the basilicom floor. It was not her first choice to do this, given just how destructive these kinds of pets are, but the situation seemed really dire. "Hop in."
Somehow, Nepgear with her 3 Dogoos and Compa with her Horsebird were able to all fit through the Spotted Plum-met and travelled to the area near LAN Castle. Once the Spotted Plum-met arrived, the three with their pets jumped out and looked around. There was nothing of much to note, but to the right side towards the Gamindustri Graveyard was a shadow, so they made haste and walked in that direction.
As they neared that direction, they could see more clearly what was going on: Somehow, one way or the other, the Deity of Sin has revived! And in front was Histoire confronting the enemy all alone. Knowing it would be dangerous, they readied their ultimate weapons, Hyper Beam Saber, Mutant Blood, and King's Claw ready to aid Histoire. However, when they got closer to the Deity of Sin and Histoire, there was no fight going on, but rather an arguement of sorts.
"No, Neptune! You are not keeping CFW Arfoire as your pet! That thing is the Deity of Sin!" Histoire shouted, clearly angry at not only the CPU's disappearance for the day, but that thing as well.
"Awww, but Histy! This is like one of the strongest pets available! Besides, She will behave, right Arfie?" Neptune responded, sitting behind the rabbit-head figure of the giant Arfoire, while said CFW Arfoire merely responded with an... arf.
Nepgear, IF, and Compa stood there, completely dumbstruck. What they were seeing in front of their eyes was something far more ridiculous than the Conquest Ending. Maybe it was the fact that the CFW Arfoire in the Colosseum was quite strong and all, and that who in the world would want that as a pet anyway? Then again, this was Neptune after all, so this should not have come as a surprise... or not. Just how did Neptune manage the firepower to beat that Arfoire in the Colosseum was a mystery.
After what appears to be a year-long discussion, Neptune was forced to leave her "Arfie" around LAN Castle to stay while everybody headed back to Planeptune as it was now late into the night. Histoire had finally gotten some well deserved rest (But whether it was good rest or just lots of uneasiness for the soul has yet to be seen). Meanwhile, Neptune, Nepgear, IF, and Compa were in the basilicom hall winding down from the day.
"Neptune, why did you do that anyway?" Nepgear asked, rather surprised at the choice of pet that Neptune chose.
"Oh well you know, the challenge was there. Besides, who wouldn't want the final boss as a pet? It's just soooo cool!" Neptune responded, opening another cup of pudding.
"That's not really the point Nep... but, how did you manage to beat that thing anyway? Those Colosseum enemies are way tougher than the story-line versions." IF Asked, knowing Neptune must have gotten help from someone, and that same someone probably has another problematic pet somewhere in Gamindustri (And IF is right, but good thing she did not go to Lastation today).
"I just simply got help from my longtime girlfriend."
"Wait, What!?" IF, Compa, and Nepgear said in unison, with what seems to be yet another surprise.
"I'm just kidding on that one, no need to get so excited..." Neptune responded, knowing that trolling her close buddies after a long day probably was not the best thing to do.
"Oh goodness Neptune, don't scare me like that!"
"Sorry."
As the day drew to a close, Histoire had nightmares and could barely rest. After all, who could ever sleep comfortably when Gamindustri has been overrun with some of the most bizarre things? Never mind the fact that Histoire had to deal with countless stupid calls about the gadget, but what did not help was Neptune being Neptune and making a big mess. There was just no winning for Histoire here, because the one time that Neptune did decide to work, it unleashed a nightmare on all of Gamindustri.
Just a week later, as promised, Histoire had called the other Oracles to Planeptune to discuss patch changes for the Nep-Pets, some things may have been fine, but others need some serious fine tuning. At this point, there was no going back since that Neptune had already approved of everything this project had proposed, and so the point of the meeting was to try and salvage whatever sanity is left of the four Oracles.
Epilogue incoming.