Chapter 81 Explanations

"Well, how are my favorite two ladies this afternoon?" Helo greeted the blonde and brunette as he stepped into the space between their hospital beds. Relief pulled his grin wider as he surveyed the faces that were precious to him, each in their own way. Starbuck's smirk was a welcome sight, yet it was Sharon's warm look that truly melted him.

Helo dragged up a chair and took a seat near enough to his wife that he could take her smaller hand in his, which he promptly did with a stroke of his thumb across the soft ridge of knuckle.

"Helo, you'd better be bringing us either news or food, cause the stuff they serve here is crap," Starbuck said, cautiously sliding herself up into a sitting position.

"Forget the food. What did you find out about the bomb?" Athena insisted from her position on her side, still too painful to lay fully on her back after just three days since the Raptor's explosion.

"Ah, the impatience of the weaker sex," he teased his captive audience, eyes flicking back and forth between the beds' occupants.

"If you don't want me to show you weaker, you'd better start coughing up what you know, Helo," Starbuck warned as she lifted her blanket as if to follow through on her threat.

"Ok, I'll talk, just don't hurt me," he raised his hands in surrender. Then the teasing tone left his voice as he looked at Athena, "We traced your flight route back to the Prometheus. Once we realized that the terrorist had to be within sight with a triggering device to know when to blow the bomb, we narrowed the search for vessels that had filed flight plans that put them nearby at the proper time."

"So, the bomb was meant for the President, not me or Starbuck," Sharon stated.

"Yeah. They had plenty of time to blow it before or after you picked up Kara on the Galactica," Helo confirmed her reasoning. "We interrogated one of the men, and he said they were to wait until your Raptor was onboard Colonial One before blowing it. They were caught off guard when you suddenly flew away after barely setting down. Guess they didn't know what to do, thought maybe you'd go back. But when they saw Starbuck going EVA by the engine, they panicked and decided to set it off then. Probably hoping to destroy any evidence." Helo's features grimly stiffened as he related just how close the two pilots had come to being part of the drifting wreckage of the Raptor.

A chill caused Sharon to shiver at their narrow escape. She glanced over to the side and was surprised to see Kara shaking her head, a dark brooding frown drawing her features taut. As she noticed Sharon's questioning look, Kara averted her face.

"What is it, Kara?" Sharon asked, her tone partly coaxing yet with a firm note underneath. As the blonde head stayed turned away, she thought that Starbuck was going to refuse to answer. Then the blonde swiveled back to meet Sharon's intent look.

"Just thinking about my 'Special Destiny'. Thinking that maybe I can't die. At least, not until I've fulfilled this thing I'm suppose to do, whatever the frak it is." Athena blinked at that statement, but she quickly refocused as Kara continued, "Course that doesn't mean those around me won't die. I leave a lot of bodies behind me. Zak. Sam. And how many times have I almost gotten Lee killed? And now you," she quietly said.

"Starbuck, I swear you've got to be the most self-absorbed person I know," Sharon stated, her voice sharp, cutting through the other woman's thoughts. "Despite any 'destiny', things don't happen just because of you. Gods, Kara! Not everything's your fault," Sharon said as she raised herself up on an elbow to better meet the green eyes. "Besides, if you look at it from another way, the only reason I'm alive today is because of you," she asserted. "You went EVA and found the bomb before it went off. And I know what you did when my suit tore. So, don't give me your 'I'm death, stay away' Kara Thrace crap. It doesn't fly here," Sharon punctuated her point with a finger thrust at the other woman.

As Kara's eyes held the dark ones across from her, the pained bitterness slowly faded. "Self-absorbed?" Starbuck said, a small chuckle breaking free before she smothered it as her side reminded her not to laugh. "Well, what do you expect after a lifetime of being told I'm special," she lightly shot back at her bunkmate.

"I think they meant 'small school bus' special in your case, Starbuck," Helo piped in. "I remember how much help you needed to get through astrocalc in Flight School.

"Yeah, I remember too, Karl," her voice lost the teasing edge, sincerity adding weight, "I'd never have passed without your help… Did I ever thank you?"

"What? Starbuck say thank you? You wouldn't even admit that you needed help as I remember it. I had to pretend I needed a study buddy. Trick you into working with me," he said, fondly remembering poring over textbooks in their dorm; that is, on the nights Kara wasn't dragging him out to bars.

Seeing Karl's handsome face soften from the recalled memories, it dawned on Kara just how much she cared for him, and so many of the others around her. But mostly, how much she owed to so many of those same people.

Clearing her throat, "Um, yeah, well. Thank you," she said, the words feeling unnatural but necessary, "For then…and the other times, and…for what you both did…the other night," she added in a rush, looking at Sharon now.

"You're welcome, Kara," Sharon said, knowing how difficult it was for her to open up like this.

Helo decided to change the subject before Kara resorted to her usual defensive reaction when things got too personal. By this point, Starbuck would usually have started to make nasty comments meant to drive others safely away. Wanting to prevented that, Helo stood up from the hard chair. As he stretched his tall frame, extending his arms over his head, both women heard an audible pop from his back. He was surprised when a giggle escaped Kara, and he caught Sharon's admiring eyes.

"Damn, Helo," Starbuck lightly teased, "I'll give you a cubit to do that without a shirt," noting, not for the first time, how nicely muscled her male friend really was beneath his double tanks.

Sharon wagged a finger in the blonde's direction, "Sorry, Starbuck. My man only strips for me now."

"Is that all I am to you two? Just a good-looking body, huh?" he asked, giving them a mock pout. A pout on Helo's lips was a rare wonder and drew another giggle from Kara.

Helo choose to ignore the twin grins and said instead, "So, no one wants to know who was behind the bombing and why?"

Sharon patted the edge of her bed, "Have a seat, dear Herald and tell us your tale," she said as she awkwardly slid over to give him more room. Not waiting for a second invitation, he settled beside her, running a gentle hand up the arm held fast in the sling.

"Anything you command," came his soft reply as he leaned in to kiss her.

Kara looked away, suddenly feeling like she was intruding on a private moment. A moment she would give anything to be sharing with two certain men. Her heart and head were conflicted as usual over which man she really wished were here right now. Not that it hardly mattered, neither were possible with one dead and the other married. A dark wave swept in, drowning all the light within her as the depression washed through her once more. She clamped her eyes shut, fighting not to let it pull her under this time like it had so often since her return from New Caprica.

Karl glanced over at Kara and saw the closed eyes and drawn face, worry immediately replaced the smile on his own features.

"Kara?" he gently called her name. "You hurting? Need me to get Cottle or some more morph?" As the lids lifted from green eyes, he saw that the shadows that had also lifted for a time, had returned in force.

"No, I'm fine. Just getting a little tired I guess," she lied, knowing that neither of her friends believed what she said, just not up to trying to explain to them the real problem.

"Ok, Kara. I'll make this short, then let you two can get some rest," Karl said, accepting her explanation at face value. "The bombing was planned by a splinter group of religious fanatics that had decided that Laura Roslin had to fulfill her role as the dying leader. They reasoned that only through her death would we find the way to Earth." He shrugged at their twin frowns, then continued, "And since she was no longer dying from cancer, she obviously needed their help to complete her 'Special Destiny'," he explained. "Lucky for us, they weren't very competent and did a poor job of securing the explosives in place. We rounded up a total of twelve followers and their leader. So, the President's safe once more, due to you two and your quick thinking."

"Good. Glad we got 'em," sighed Kara as she eased herself flat in her bed. Fatigue really was pulling her down, so she didn't have to fake the weary smile she gave Karl as he kissed his wife and bade them both goodbye until later.

Sharon studied Kara across the short distance and was concerned enough to speak up, even though she already knew the answer, "Are you sure I shouldn't call Cottle, you look like you need something?"

"There's no pills for this, so just drop it, Ok," Kara quietly requested as she shifted onto her good side, turning her back to the other woman's searching stare.

Sharon watched the blonde for another minute before deciding that there really wasn't anything she could do right now. Maybe later Kara would open up again. Considering where they were just a couple of weeks ago, Sharon was thankful that she and Starbuck had made as much progress as they had. But, right now, neither woman was up to a pushing match so it would just have to wait for another time.

Shutting her own eyes, Sharon hoped for an undisturbed nap. The previous night Kara had woken them both with a single scream that tore her upright, gasping. By the time the night nurse had rushed in, Sharon was already sitting and awkwardly holding Kara as she struggled to bring her breathing back to normal. The Cylon woman had silently waved the nurse away, continuing to hold her friend until the shuddering finally subsided.

The nightmare hadn't surprised Sharon, not after Cottle had informed them that he was taking Kara off the sleeping pills. When she'd gently probed, Kara had hesitantly talked about the sessions with the Six. Listening to her recount the pain and fear of those weeks, Sharon ached for all Kara had endured. It had taken hours before either woman had been able to get back to sleep.

Now, as Sharon shifted, trying to find a position that didn't hurt her shoulder, she hoped that the day would come when Kara's eyes no longer seemed so haunted by shadows and remembered torment.