Okay so this got away from me I'm sorry…
Half term came and went and Christmas was approaching at a terrifying rate. By some miracle, it was still only Adrian and Helen that were aware of their relationship and Courtney was still keeping her mouth shut thanks to a bit of bribery. Rumours of Beth and Danny were beginning to circulate among the pupils as time went by, but given that amount of time she spent around him that wasn't a huge surprise and at least it took the weight off Clara.
It was a Wednesday morning and Danny had woken to find an empty bed. He listened for a moment but there was no movement downstairs so he got up and looked out the window to see Clara's car had already gone. He looked around at the clock – 06:33 – why so early? Danny sighed and went back to the bed, sitting down and grabbing his phone to text her. She'd been off most of the week, burying herself in work and anything else she could find. They'd not met up for lunch since the beginning of the previous week and she'd not made a sarcastic comment about Beth in at least 7 days. While he waited for a response Danny jumped in the shower.
When it got to 7:15 and he'd still had no reply, Danny took another approach and phoned Adrian. If something was up and she wasn't talking to him, Adrian would know – at least that's what he hoped.
"Morning Pink, everything alright?" Adrian asked when he answered the phone.
"Have you heard from Clara?" Danny asked, sorting out breakfast while he was on the phone, "she left really early this morning and isn't answering me."
"Ah…" came the reply, to which Danny paused what he was doing. "No, but I know where she is. Listen mate don't worry, I'll sort it – if she hasn't told you it's not my place to say. She'll be fine, see you at work." Adrian hung up before he'd had the chance to ask any questions – most likely on purpose.
Clara sat at the top of the hill looking out over the dark view. There was no significant noise; just the wind around her interrupting the silence and it was peaceful. She hugged her knees to her chest and held her necklace with one hand, twisting the ring around a little and letting memories rush through her mind.
"Tom what are you doing?!" Clara giggled as he grabbed her from behind; "we have to go to work!" she kicked out to get him to put her down, but he didn't let go and instead presented her with a piece of paper. "What's this?"
"Open it," he whispered in her ear and watched as she unfolded the paper, reading the email he'd printed.
"I don't get it, why would we take unpaid leave just before Christmas?" she read the email from the head teacher which gave them both permission to be off from the 7th December until the Christmas holidays on the condition it was unpaid to allow for paid cover.
"Because we're going to get married on the 10th," Tom told her and finally let go to allow her to turn and face him, a shocked look on her face. "It's all booked – the church, the hotel for the reception, all the places we'd spoken about. A Christmas wedding is what you wanted right? Well after the wedding we'll go on our honeymoon, and we're not coming back until New Year."
"I don't get it, how did you organise all this it's… it's perfect," Clara put the email down and kissed him gently.
"You deserve it, I could see how much all the decisions were stressing you out so I thought I'd make them for us both. Now all you need to worry about it… well, everything else, but we'll work through it together," he smiled and flicked her hair back behind her ear. "But now we really do need to get to work." Clara smiled and nodded, pulling away to pick her bag up. "I love you Clara Oswald."
"You're doing it a pretty good job of showing it," she smiled, "I love you too."
"Clara…" Adrian's voice interrupted her daydream and she looked around to see him unfolding a blanket to rest around her shoulders. "I had a feeling you might be here," he told her and sat down beside her. "Danny called, he was worried." Clara shrugged, looking back out.
"Don't be like that, you should have at least left a note to tell him you were going out early rather than leaving him clueless… but maybe you should tell him?" Adrian suggested. "Clara you've told him so much, why not this?"
"Because I didn't even think about it until last week, how stupid is that? I forgot my own wedding." Clara sighed and pulled the blanket a little further around herself, it was actually pretty cold.
"No you didn't, there's no wedding to think about. I know that sounds harsh but it's true Clara," Adrian told her. "Today would have been the first day of your time off right?" He asked and she nodded. Adrian put his arms around her to let her hug in to him. "Call in sick, I'll cover for you. Before you argue, you're not going to be in a fit state to work today and I think you need some time. Go back to your flat, spend some time there and then come home this afternoon and tell Danny everything. You need him, especially this weekend."
"Always the voice of reason," she sighed, "thank you, I appreciate it. Tell Danny I'll see him at home after work and not to call, I'll text him later when I'm ready." Adrian nodded, believing that she would. "You're going to be late," she told him.
"I know, I'll go, but don't be much longer up here it's freezing." Clara nodded and went back to looking at the view. "Call me if you need to."
Danny stood up as Adrian walked in to the staffroom and looked over to a quieter corner to which Danny made his way over to talk to him.
"She's fine, but she's not coming in. She'll see you at home later but she doesn't want disturbing for now and she'll text you later. Don't worry Danny; she's doing the right thing for her."
"How am I meant to not worry when I don't know what's going on Adrian?" he asked.
"You just have to trust her, she'll talk when she's ready," Adrian told him, "I'll see you later." He left Danny stood there and went off to prep his lessons.
The morning was far from easy for Danny with his mind on far more important things than teaching. He did his best and managed to get through to break unscathed but he was struggling in third lesson. Something didn't feel right, his head was pounding a little bit it was probably the stress. He got his year 8s to start on some textbook work and sat down, grabbing a quick drink from his water bottle before trying to focus on a bit of marking while they worked. It wasn't long before someone wanted help, however, and Danny stood up to walk over.
"Sir?" one of the pupils asked as he wobbled a little on standing.
"I'm fine, how can I help?" he made his way over and crouched down by the desk to help the confused pupil. He did his best to talk him through it before suddenly feeling quite ill and having to stand up, but he didn't make it back to his desk.
Danny woke up surrounded by paramedics and first aiders. He looked around, trying to work out what had happened and why he was on the floor. His head was still pounding, but he couldn't move at all.
"Danny? Welcome back mate," Adrian was knelt behind him, "I was passing, one of the students grabbed me just after you collapsed. How are you feeling?" Danny went to reply but he couldn't, something stopping his brain from communicating with his mouth which only made him more panicked. "Alright calm, the paramedics are looking after you." Adrian explained, although he himself looked a little panicked.
"Alright we're going to get him in now. Anyone coming?" One of the paramedics asked after they'd moved Danny on to the trolley.
"I'll go," Adrian replied, "I'm probably the most free out of us?" He looked around at the other couple of teachers who were with them.
"I don't mind going," Beth, who had appeared from nowhere a few minutes ago, popped up. Adrian shook his head.
"You're covering Clara's next lesson and you're not designated first aider, but nice try." Adrian responded.
"Yes, you go, you know Danny the best of us all. Keep us informed?" The head gave permission and Adrian nodded before following them out to the ambulance. Once they were moving, he finally said what he knew Danny was waiting for.
"I haven't called Clara yet, I couldn't in there. I will do as soon as we are there I promise," he told Danny, but secretly he was dreading calling her given the situation.
"Who's Clara?" The paramedic asked while writing down some obs.
"His fiancée, she works at the school but she's not in today and nobody actually knows they're together – it's a long story. How's he doing?"
"Stable for the moment, but it's a bit of a mystery what's happened and of course why he can't talk to us. We're just arriving now; hopefully you'll have answers soon." Adrian could only watch as they took Danny inside, leaving him to exit the ambulance and make the call he was dreading.
Adrian walked over to a quieter spot, waiting for Clara to answer. He paced a little, trying to work out how to phrase it. Clara seemed to take forever to answer; sounding a little tired when she did which he assumed meant she'd just woken up.
"Adrian I'm fine, and you just woke me up," she complained.
"Clara, I need you to sit down for a moment," Adrian told her.
"I'm lying in bed you fool, what's going on?" Clara responded jokingly, it killed him to ruin her mood again. "I'm at the hospital with Danny. He collapsed at work," he heard her response immediately. "Please try not to panic, he's being looked after."
"No, not again this can't be happening again," she sat up and immediately had to run in to the bathroom to throw up which Adrian could only listen to and wait for her to speak again. "I need to come down I need to be there."
"Clara you can't drive in that state, I'll come and get you it's not far, there's nothing I can do here for now he's being taken for tests." She couldn't argue that, "get yourself dressed and sorted, I won't be long." He hung up, knowing it was better for him to get there.
Clara managed to get herself up from the floor, but walking around her flat was difficult given how shaky her legs now were. She couldn't do this again, it was the same thing, he'd collapsed in that room, the same place. He was in hospital, she wasn't there, anything could happen before she got there and it scared her. She paced her flat, waiting for the door to knock, unable to sit down but struggling to stand up, her mind racing with scenarios. When the door finally went she ran to it, opening it and immediately grabbing Adrian who just managed to stop her from falling to the floor as she cried in to him.
"Hey, listen to me you need to be strong now. This is not the same; he was stable when they arrived at hospital and he's being looked after," he explained.
"But why? If he's stable then what's the problem? Why did he collapse?" Clara manged to get out as she finally got her balance back.
"Well he has some injuries from the fall and…" Adrian paused and she looked up to him, "he can't talk or move currently, but he's awake Clara – he's awake and that's a good sign." Clara shook her head, unable to believe what she was hearing. "Come on, let's go now," he pulled the door shut and supported her as they made it to the car. The drive in was silent as Clara watched out of the window, silent tears falling down her cheeks. The moment he'd parked she jumped out, running in before he'd even managed to open the door. Adrian locked the car, running after her and managing to catch up with her only as she made it in to the reception area, stopping her from going too far.
"Calm, come on this isn't going to help now," she resisted for a few seconds before relenting.
"Are you alright?" Adrian looked around to see a nurse stood looking concerned.
"The man who just got taken in to resus, Danny, Clara's his fiancée," Adrian explained.
"Ah I see, why don't you come through to the relatives' room?" She tried to direct them towards the room on the side.
"No I need to see him!" Clara cried, trying to get away. "I need to know he's okay I need to know it's not the same!" The nurse looked even more confused at that.
"Clara please, go and sit in there, it won't be long I promise and I'll find out what's going on in the meantime." She relented eventually, her legs beginning to give way and he helped her in to the room to lie on the sofa before returning to the nurse, who he'd now noted from her badge, was called Tally. "Clara lost her last fiancé in a similar way. He collapsed at work, in the same room, but when they got him to hospital there was nothing they could do. She'd followed in, well, I drove her. When we arrived nobody would let her through straight away and when they did it was too late – he'd had a huge brain haemorrhage and he was gone. I've tried to reassure her Danny is more stable but you can understand why she's so upset." Tally seemed sympathetic as he explained.
"I'll go and get an update for you, last I heard they were taking him to the scanner but he should be back now." Adrian thanked her before making his way back to the relatives' room where Clara was curled up on the sofa sobbing.
"I'm going to lose him, I know it, it's going to happen again," she kept saying over and over. Adrian sat down on the arm beside her; she wouldn't let him touch her. It broke his heart to see his best friend like this again. He'd spent so many days and weeks with her like this following Tom's death, she'd lost too many people and it simply wasn't fair.
"You don't know that Clara, he was stable and awake when I left him," Adrian tried to tell her.
"But he couldn't talk, or move, how is that stable?!" she spoke between sobs, but sat up as soon as Tally returned. "What's happening? Is he alright?"
"I won't lie and say he's out of the woods, but the scans were promising. He's speaking a little now, asking for you. The doctors have said you can go in but only for a few minutes, he needs to go to theatre to realign one of the bones in his arm," Clara jumped up as soon as she was told she could go in but Adrian grabbed her arm.
"Are there any other injuries nurse? Just so she's aware…" Tally nodded with understanding.
"While the scan was clear, there was a significant blow to the head where he fell which needs keeping a close eye on. The left arm is broken and slightly misaligned and his shoulder was dislocated, however that has been relocated. Mr Pink is still unable to move from the neck down, but given the clear scans the doctors believe this may purely be his body's reaction to the injuries – it's being monitored, but they're hopefully it is temporary. They still have yet to determine what caused the collapse, which is now their main cause for concern. More tests will need running of course, but for now he's stable." She finished explaining everything and Clara had to take a moment to take it all in. "Let me take you through." Tally guided them through to resus, holding the door for her. Adrian stopped there, letting her go in alone but staying close just in case.
Danny was hooked up to many machines, with at least 2 drips running and a splint on his arm. Clara went round to his right side so she could take his hand and his gaze followed her constantly.
"His heart rate is lowering Doctor Howard," Tally nodded to the monitor.
"He's calmed down," the doctor smiled briefly at Clara before going away to leave them for a moment. Tally also backed off, but didn't leave the room.
Clara stood beside the bed, holding his hand and putting her other on his cheek. Danny turned his head a little and kissed her palm to which she had to force herself to hold back tears.
"Oh my love don't cry," he spoke slowly and very quietly. "You don't get rid of me that easily," he added, turning back again to smile up at her. She managed a small one in return, taking her hand away to wipe at her face.
"I'm sorry, you don't need to worry about me right now," she sniffled a little and took a deep breath to calm down. "You're scared," she told him, looking him in the eyes.
"I'm okay," Danny replied eventually, the words still coming slowly.
"No you're not, you don't have to be all brave now, stop being strong for me – it's my turn to be strong for you." Clara was adamant now, not breaking eye contact.
"But Tom," she bit her lip a little as he said it but only for a second.
"Forget that, it's not important right now. You're still alive, you're here and you're going to get better," Clara told him and leant down to kiss him gently. "I'm going to be here for you all the way, whatever you need. I don't care if it means people find out about us, that's not important right now…" Danny was already shaking his head.
"Clara this isn't the way to break the news, please, you need to keep working and carry on like nothing's happened. People will put any upset down to the situation, nothing else. You can help me after school, but I need you to promise me you'll keep going," he managed to get that out with only a couple of stumbles, but Clara could see it took a lot out of him – this was no time for an argument.
"Okay, alright I will, but I'm here whenever you need me," she told him which seemed to satisfy for now, at least it did until the monitors started alarming and Tally ran over, pulling the crash alarm on the wall. Clara looked back to Danny and realised his eyes were closed. "What's going on?!"
"Clara you need to go outside now," she told her as the doctors ran back in. "He's gone in to VT, no pulse" she told them and they started pulling kit out from everywhere. Clara had stepped back, but she hadn't left the room. "Clara, go back out, you don't need to see this," but she couldn't move. They pulled his gown off, putting defib pads on while someone else was doing CPR. It was mayhem, controlled mayhem, but still terrifying. She'd watched CPR only once before, and that time it hadn't ended well. Adrian had come in now, trying to direct her out but she refused, her eyes glued to Danny.
"Everybody clear? … Shocking!" came the voice and she jumped as she saw Danny jolt at the shock. "Alright he's back in sinus," the doctor announced and Clara assumed that was good as they all seemed to relax. "I think we've found the cause of the collapses everyone, I'll get in contact with cardiology," the doctor left at that point while everyone else started to clear up. Danny's eyes opened at that point and he looked around in panic. Clara ran over, ignoring anyone telling her it wasn't safe yet and crouched down so her face was in line with his.
"You're okay, you're safe," she told him, repeating it a few times while he settled.
"I don't think I've ever seen one person have such a significant positive effect on a patient," Tally spoke quietly to one of her colleagues, but Clara didn't concentrate long enough to note the reply.
"It happened again…" Danny finally realised and Clara nodded, "what happened?" he asked and Clara looked up for some kind of answer. One of the other doctors, whom Clara assumed were the juniors, stopped tidying for a moment and turned to them.
"Mr Pink your heart went in to an irregular and very fast rhythm, one which we had to shock you out of. It's quite likely this is the cause of your earlier collapse also which means we need to explore treatment possibilities as soon as possible. Doctor Howard your consultant is contacting cardiology now and I expect you'll be moved to their ward soon. Try not to worry now, it's promising that we've discovered the cause." He smiled and waited for a response.
"Earlier… I wasn't shocked then…" Danny was confused.
"No, and we can only speculate but at a guess, the fall itself jolted your heart enough. For now you just need to rest, we'll monitor you closely and work out the best course of action." Clara nodded a thank you to him and turned back to Danny.
"See, you're going to be fine love," she told him, although not sure how much she believed herself right now.
"Scared…" he looked her in the eyes as he spoke and Clara cupped his cheeks with her hands.
"You don't need to be, you never have to be scared because you're not alone and you never will be. I love you, we're going to get through this together," she smiled softly and kissed his forehead. "You look tired, just shut your eyes and rest, I'm not going anywhere."
Danny soon drifted off, and not long after he was taken through to the cardiac ward. Clara followed, Adrian following to keep an eye on her. When they arrived he was still fast asleep, the whole experience clearly taking its toll on him. The cardiologist explained that they would most likely be monitoring him overnight and providing treatment first thing in the morning – it was only then that Clara realised it was 6pm.
"When did you last eat?" Adrian asked her once the doctor had left them. Clara shrugged, still watching Danny. "Come on, let's get you something to eat."
"I said I wouldn't leave, I'm not going anywhere," she sat down beside the bed, taking Danny's hand in hers and watching him sleep.
"Clara you heard him, you promised him you'd be in work tomorrow. If you're going to do that you need to eat and sleep." Clara shook her head again.
"I can sleep here, bring food if you want but I'm not hungry," she told him, still not looking up.
"You can't sleep here Clara, visiting hours will be over soon and Danny needs rest," he went over, resting on the arm of the chair and talking to her. "I know you're scared, I know exactly why you won't take your eyes off him and don't want to leave, but he's safe here."
"They want to treat him first thing, the doctor said about that device, I need to be here" she spoke quietly, completely worn out.
"No, you don't, you need to be doing what you do best and throw Shakespeare at your GCSE classes till they're sick to death of it. The hospital will keep you updated, he's in the best place Clara and they can help him." Adrian told her. Clara leant back a little so she rested slightly against him, "let me take you home Clara." She finally relented, but not before making sure Danny would know exactly where she'd gone and that the staff would contact her about anything.
Adrian managed to get Clara inside and in to bed before she fell asleep, but only just. She still hadn't eaten, a fact he knew wasn't good, but she was shattered. He took up residence on the sofa, something that wasn't unusual to him – just a different house. Truth was, this whole situation terrified him too. Not because of Danny as such, he was being treated by the right people, but the effect it was going to have on his friend. The next few weeks were going to be tough, tougher than before because this time it was mostly a secret. He just prayed he could do the best for her.