Clara didn't go to work the next day. Danny had managed to reach over and switch her alarm off while she slept, instead calling her in sick. She'd been restless most of the night with multiple bad dreams that she wouldn't talk about when she woke she seemed incredibly distressed. This was the longest period she'd slept all night and Danny wasn't about to watch her force herself to work. He'd managed to get himself up and downstairs albeit quite slowly. Once he was down movement was a little easier and he managed to get the kettle going, leaning against the side as it boiled. He knew Clara was going to be angry when she woke up, but in all honesty that was the least of his worries right now. Something was seriously wrong, he could tell that, but she wasn't telling him anything and that scared her.
"Morning Danny," he looked around and smiled as Clara's Gran walked in.
"Morning Grace, you got my text then?" Danny had contacted her after phoning the school, he didn't like asking things of her but he also knew Clara might listen to her.
"Yes, I figured it'd be quicker for me to get here than reply – you know I'm not great with this phone. How is she?" Grace asked, taking over the tea making.
"Asleep still, I'm hoping she will be for a little while yet – she kept waking in the night, bad dreams was all she'd say but I'm certain there's something going on," he told her and she nodded, handing him the tea.
"You know she won't tell me anything right?" Grace said, sitting opposite him at the table.
"Well she's not going to talk to me, I've been trying but all she sees is my injuries, I don't know how to get through to her now," he sighed, putting his head in his good hand. He felt Grace's hand on his, making him look up.
"She told you about Tom within a week of knowing you; we hadn't been allowed to mention his name in months. In the few months she's known you she's become a whole new person, so much happier and stronger than we'd seen in so long. If she's going to tell anyone, it will be you. Clara might put on a front, but she's a very private person and rarely speaks to people about her feelings – family included. When she had Tom he was pretty much the only person she'd talk to, now she has you and I believe she needs you. I'll be here to support you; she'll only be trying to do everything for you otherwise, but talk to her Danny." He nodded, sitting up.
"Thanks, could you sort some breakfast for her? I'm going to sit upstairs if that's okay?" Grace agreed but stood up, helping him up back to the bedroom and on to the bed, leaving them to it. Clara stirred a few minutes later, looking around as she woke up before realising the time and sitting up quickly. "Relax Clara, I called you in sick," Danny told her to which she looked around at him, shocked. "Don't worry I phoned Adrian and he's on it. You need to rest today, something's not right love," he told her honestly. "What were all those dreams about?" As Clara opened her mouth to argue, Grace walked in with breakfast on a tray.
"Danny called me; I'm here to help out today so you can relax. Don't argue Clara," she told her, predicting her response, "he's worried about you – let him be. I know you want to talk, I can see it in your eyes," Grace put the tray down and kissed her head softly. "I'll be downstairs if you need anything," she left and Danny took his tea and food off the tray, putting it on the table beside him. Clara did the same, putting the tray down beside the bed before speaking.
"Tom," she spoke quietly, and Danny immediately understood. "It wouldn't go away; every time I fell asleep the dream came back."
"You wouldn't let me help," he responded, taking her hand. "I know I'm injured love, but I'm still your fiancé and I'm still here for you."
"You need your sleep, you need to rest." Danny shook his head.
"No, no Clara you need to rest. I've been resting for the last week, you've been running yourself ragged and making yourself ill. It's not fair on you anymore; I'm not going to let it happen, I love you and I'm not watching you fall back again," he kissed her hand gently. "Eat up, relax, but talk to me Clara."
She didn't speak, not for a while. They lay there together in silence, eating breakfast and just relaxing a little for the first time in a while. Danny didn't want to push her to talk, but he was worried at how subdued she suddenly was. Adrian had text asking how she was, but he didn't even know how to respond so he left it for now. Clara was lying beside him, not quite on him but fairly close, staring at the ceiling mostly and clearly thinking things through in silence.
"It's like when I found him, walking in to the room and seeing him on the floor, all the pain in my head and surging through my body…" Danny went to move but she shook her head, sitting up. "You're there too Danny, you're both lying there and it's like I have to make a decision, like someone it telling me I can save one of you and only one of you, they're shouting at me to decide like the time is counting down in my head and I don't know what to do," as she spoke Clara didn't look at him once, almost as if she was unable to.
"How long?" Danny asked, although he was fairly certain he knew the answer.
"When you were in hospital," she responded and he nodded. "I was sleeping okay once you'd come home I guess, but they've come back…" Danny carefully wiped tears away from her cheek.
"You don't have to decide between us, you never have to decide between us and I will never ask that of you, nobody should. This has been plaguing you and you need to tell me about these things, I'm here to help, you've been suffering alone and I promised I'd never let that happen again." Clara leant in to his hand.
"I love you, I love you so much," she told him quietly and kissed his hand. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I…" she paused, staring again. Danny followed her gaze but there was nothing to look at.
"Clara?" He looked back, moving to be in her eye line. "Hey, what's wrong, Clara?" It took a few seconds before she moved. "That's not the first time that's happened," he told her.
"What are you on about?" she replied and kissed him gently but he seemed less than convinced, "please, let's just rest together. If you're going to make me bunk off school you can at least make it enjoyable." Danny sighed and nodded, accepting that was conversation over for now.
Grace stayed around all day, bringing them lunch and only leaving once dinner had been done and Clara had assured her all would be fine. Once they'd finished eating she grabbed the plates.
"I'll go wash up; I really need to move around for a bit. You should answer Adrian too," Clara told him and Danny looked a little surprised. "I'm very observant you know, it's fine – talk to him," she smiled and kissed his cheek quickly before standing up. Danny picked up his phone and dialled Adrian's number and he answered fairly quickly.
"Danny is she alright?" he asked the moment he answered.
"She seems cheerier, but there're things to work through. I'll try and get her to ring you over the weekend," he replied before asking Adrian how things had gone at work.
Clara in the meantime had started to head downstairs. She'd stopped on the way, putting the plates down to check her own phone to see the time. Once she had an answer she grabbed the plates again and headed down the stairs. She'd made it about 2 or 3 steps when she suddenly stopped again, but this time she was mid step when it happened to horrendous consequences. Danny heard the crash from the bedroom while he was still on the phone.
"What was that?" Adrian asked, clearly having heard it too. "Danny?"
"I don't know, but I need to try and move now, stay on the phone, I just need two hands…" he put his phone in his pocket and pushed himself up, able to move reasonably once he was steady. Danny made it to the top of the stairs and immediately saw what had happened. "Clara!" he called and immediately pulled the phone out. "She's fallen down the stairs; call an ambulance I need to get to her. I'll hang up just please, get them here," he told Adrian and hung up the moment he had agreed. Danny had to lower himself down to go downstairs, carefully sliding down as he had done earlier that morning. Clara came round just as he reached her, looking around in confusion.
"Danny? What happened?" she asked, trying to sit up but immediately putting a hand to her head.
"I was hoping you might be able to answer that," Danny told her, sitting on the bottom step.
"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" she asked, looking up at him concerned.
"I'm fine, honestly I am. What hurts?" he replied and took her hand gently.
"My head and my stomach," they both looked down and suddenly realised why there was such a pain there. "Danny…" he squeezed her hand tighter as they looked at the knife.
"It's fine, you're gonna be fine alright? Keep holding my hand, there's help on the way," he told her. As he finished speaking the door knocked. He called the code to the key box out so they could get in knowing it would be quicker than him going over to the door. A few seconds later and they were in, immediately studying the scene. "She fell down the stairs, I wasn't there I don't know what happened and she can't remember… please help her." Danny pleaded with them as Clara's grip on his weakened a little.
"What about you sir?" the younger paramedic asked as they knelt beside Clara.
"I collapsed a week or so back, these are old injuries, not important right now," he explained and they nodded.
They asked questions, but Clara couldn't answer most of them and it was clearly stressing her out. Danny didn't leave her, holding on to her hand while they examined her.
"She's getting weaker, what's going on?" he asked, panicking.
"We need to get her in; we can't be sure what the knife has hit so we need to be careful, but her best chances are if we move quick. How's your mobility?" he asked as the other paramedic went to retrieve the trolley.
"A little dodgy to be honest, getting to here was… interesting," he sighed, hating to be a difficulty. "Take her if you need to, I can get a lift."
"No," Clara said quietly, squeezing his hand a little.
"Don't worry, we'll take Clara to the ambulance and bring the chair for you," and that's exactly what they did.
Adrian was waiting at the hospital when they arrived and took charge of Danny's wheelchair as they took Clara off to theatre immediately. One of the doctors showed them a room to wait in and sat down, asking Danny for some details.
"How did she fall?" he asked.
"I don't know, she was just taking some plates downstairs but she can't remember what happened, she doesn't remember falling, just being on the stairs." Danny explained, trying to keep calm.
"Has anything like this happened before?" he asked and Danny shook his head before he suddenly realised something.
"Well, not like this, but…" he looked at Adrian who worked out where he was going with this and nodded, "she keeps having these episodes where she blanks out. It's weird, like she's daydreaming or something but she won't respond for maybe 10 seconds? Then she's back and it's like she doesn't know anything has happened." The doctor noted all this down.
"Has anything changed with her recently? Mood or personality?" he asked and Adrian answered.
"She's been shorter, less patient at work and with her friends, but she just puts it down to tiredness because she's dealing with Danny as well, I guess we were all too quick to believe her… something's wrong isn't it?" Adrian asked.
"I don't know yet, but it seems likely. We'll need to run some tests once she's out of theatre. I'll go and check on her progress now, thank you both for the information." Once he'd gone Danny let his barriers fall a little.
"Clara's strong, you know that right?" Adrian told him.
"Yeah, I'm just a little fed up of this place. It's not fair Adrian; she doesn't deserve any of this. When we met I promised her I'd look after her, make her life happier again and look where we are!" He sighed in frustration.
"Danny you have, you have done. Nobody could know this was going to happen, you can't predict the future. Yes it all seems a bit messy right now, but things will get better. You two were made for each other." Danny listened, but couldn't get something off his mind.
"She's been having dreams, bad ones," he started.
"Yeah, she was having them when you were in… I thought they'd gone?" Adrian asked.
"They had, but they've come back. She didn't tell me about them before, but I saw and… she sees both Tom and I on the floor in the classroom and she's being made to choose between us. It's really affecting her, she's scared to sleep and I think that's why she's so tired." He was lost now, unable to work out what he was meant to do.
"Listen Danny, I'm going to be honest with you now and this conversation never leaves these 4 walls, but if she really had to choose, I'd send her your direction every day. Tom wasn't the perfect person she makes out, but I would never deny her that thought. He was everything to her, and she to him – he treated her as such too and to the outside world their relationship was perfect. He and I however did not get on, although neither of us ever told Clara as such. He just couldn't grasp that I could love Clara as a friend and it made things difficult, so please don't think you're anything less because honestly I think you're wonderful." Danny didn't really respond, simply nodding. "Whatever this is you'll get through it Danny."
It seemed to be forever they were sat there waiting for news, just staring at the door and waiting for answers.
"Clara's family?" A nurse finally came in to the room after what felt like forever. Adrian nodded, Danny was too nervous to move.
"We've just had a call from upstairs; they've taken Clara to ITU following her surgery. She's stable; their main priority now is looking at the cause of the fall but they'll give you more details upstairs. Let me take you up," she told them and they were both taken upstairs.
Danny sat at Clara's side, she'd just returned from the scanner and they were waiting on the results. He kissed her hand gently, holding it tight. It'd been a while but suddenly he felt a slight squeeze on his hand.
"Danny?" her voice was quiet but he heard.
"I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere," he pushed himself up from the chair so she could see him better, managing to balance on his good leg. "You're okay love," he told her.
"Where am I?" she asked, looking around a little panicked.
"Intensive care, they want to keep a close eye on you. When you fell you landed on one of the knives, it caused some bleeding in your abdomen which they had to fix. Now they're worried about why you fell, can you remember anything?" Danny asked, having to sit back down again.
"No, I don't get it I was just walking and then I was at the bottom, I don't know what happened I…" she started to get distressed, sending her heart rate up and the nurse rushing in.
"Clara calm, it's okay. Look at me, look." He waited for her to turn her head, "we're looking after you and it doesn't matter if you can't remember. They're going to find out for us okay? It's alright." Danny kissed her hand softly and kept it close to him.
"Welcome back Clara," the nurse seemed a little happier as her heart rate dropped back and she took some obs. "You've got a dedicated one there – I'm hoping you'll persuade him to take some pain medication now."
"I've already told you I'm fine, they make me drowsy and I can't be drowsy now. It's alright." Danny turned back to Clara, stroking a thumb over her hand but she'd turned to him and raised her eyebrows. "What?"
"You're in pain?" she asked.
"No, I'm fine. Let's worry about you for once shall we?" Clara sighed and looked back up at the ceiling.
"Fine, but only because I'm too tired to argue," she told him and Danny nodded. "What happens now?"
"The doctor should be along shortly to speak to you about the results of your tests and-"
"He's already here," she was interrupted by a tall man in scrubs who walked in to the room. "Thank you Nurse Raymond, nice to have you back Clara – I'm Doctor Graham." He walked over, picking up her notes and checking things over. "We've had the results of your tests Clara; I think we know why you fell."
"What? What happened? Why don't I remember?" Clara asked, sitting up a little more.
"After speaking to your partner and you friend and given the results of the test I believe you've been experiencing what are called absence seizures." Doctor Graham told her.
"I've read about them, I thought they were only in children?" she asked. Danny almost wanted to laugh, of course she'd read about them, but he was more concerned than that.
"They are much more common in children, but it's not completely unheard of in adults. It would explain what I've been told about you blanking mid conversation, and why you don't remember falling – generally you don't remember the seizure itself." He explained, "there are treatments – medication we can give you to help prevent the seizures which should improve things for you."
"What's going to happen now?" Clara asked, squeezing Danny's hand a little tighter.
"We'll get the medication sorted. I'm happy to move you to one of the wards now we've stabilised your condition and there we can monitor you for the next 48 hours or so. If things are looking okay then you'll be able to go home," he smiled.
"No, I need to be home I have to look after Danny…" she tried to sit up but the nurse stopped her.
"Clara it's fine, Adrian's already offered to help. You need to stop worrying so much, that's what's got us here. Let people look after you my love, please?" he asked sincerely. Clara nodded eventually, accepting that she had little choice in the matter.
Danny spent most of the next 2 days at her side, Adrian dropping him in. He only had to hide once when Beth came in to visit; otherwise people had generally respected her wish to privacy. Clara herself hadn't been very communicative over the last few days, still coming to terms with everything that had happened. Danny tried to discuss it with her, but she refused to share very much about herself, only willing to discuss work or his own ailments. Eventually they allowed her out and home, convinced that she was no longer in any great danger but with strict instructions to go back if she had any symptoms. Adrian drove them home, only leaving once they were settled and Danny had convinced him they'd be fine.
"Clara you should get some sleep, I know you haven't had much while you've been in," he told her as he sat down on the sofa, leaning back.
"Says you, have you taken any pain medication whilst I've been away?" Clara asked him. Danny shrugged, "I knew it. I'm making tea, getting your medication and we can relax together. Deal?"
"Deal, as long as I can do dinner," he agreed, however Clara seemed sceptical. "I've done it for the last 2 days; I promise I'm fine babe." Danny kissed her quickly before she disappeared in to the kitchen.
"It feels so good to be back home," she called, "we can finally get back to normal."
"Like you'll ever be normal," Danny called back; Clara laughed and popped her head round the door.
"You cheeky sod, be lucky you're still injured or you'd be in trouble," she grinned and went back to finish making tea.
"Oh I could still take you," he responded. Clara appeared with two mugs a minute or so later.
"Sure about that?" she raised her eyebrows and sat down beside him, putting the mugs down on the coffee table. Danny leant over and poked her sides as she sat up.
"Heyy!" Clara squealed, wriggling a little. "You're mean!"
"I've had time to get stronger while you've been away," Danny winked at her and Clara chuckled, leaning in to him. He kissed her head softly, "I'm so glad to have you home."
"I need to tell you something," she told him as they lay there, his arm resting around her. "I know we talked about it before, but what we talked about with Tom, the wedding…" Clara sat up, moving so she was facing him.
"You don't have to talk to about this, it's okay," Danny told her, taking her hand and rubbing it gently with his thumb.
"No, I talked to someone at the hospital about the dreams," she explained, "I've not been the easiest to live with, I know that. This has all got on top of me, but I love you and you need to know." Clara put her other hand over his. "I never cancelled the honeymoon, I always told Tom I cancelled everything but I just couldn't bring myself to do it," Danny looked a little confused. "I phoned the company while you were in hospital, explained the situation. They told me we had the insurance to cancel… or change, so I changed it." Clara looked up at him, "I want you to come with me, for Christmas. Just the two of us, away from everything, it's just a holiday complex; we don't have to go anywhere we can just relax. I think we need this."
Danny smiled softly, "that sounds perfect, thank you, as long as you're sure? I know this meant a lot for you with Tom having organised it all."
"I'm more than sure; he wouldn't want all his hard work wasted and we need a break from all this," she turned round to sit back against him.
"All what?" he asked, a little confused. Clara lifted her phone up to reveal 34 texts from Adrian, "ah…"
"He's an overprotective soul, but he did only leave us an hour ago. How are you doing?" She asked.
"Lying on the sofa with my gorgeous fiancé with the prospect of 2 weeks in the sun? Yeah, I'm not bad," he smiled, kissing her head. "I do love you," he told her, smiling.