AN: Thanks for the reviews everyone. You guys are awesome.
Greg is probably annoyed with me right about now. I'm so far behind on chapters, I'm writing them the week of update, which mean I haven't been able to send to him for beta-ing. Hopefully I can finish next Sunday's chapter tonight and get it sent to him...get back on track.
Right, get to reading.
LVI.
A group of civilians were gathered in a large circle, telling ghost stories, trying to take their minds off the dangers lurking just beyond the camps perimeter by scaring themselves over dangers in the shadows cast by the fire light. Jimmy sat at the far edge of the group, half-listening, majority of his attention on the outskirts of camp, scanning for any sign of Ben. He'd wandered several tens of minutes around camp looking for the other boy, before finally caving in and asking Matt.
Does this mean you forgive him? Matt had innocently inquired which stung a little. Jimmy had figured Ben would be feeling gloomy over their separation, but not that he would think Jimmy was mad at him. Matt didn't know where Ben was, and Jimmy decided that, factoring in the super hearing, only one of two things was logical: either the tides had turned and Ben was avoiding Jimmy or Ben wasn't in camp.
Regardless, Jimmy gave up the search and joined the civilian pow-wow. Sort of. If anything, he could be thought more of as an observer, watching them enjoy themselves while he thought of his own sordid situation. He wasn't sure he felt ready to confront Ben, or those words, but he was certainly ready to feel Ben's presence again, that familiar scent and warmth, to kiss and be kissed by Ben, to touch and talk. Jimmy sighed, he hated himself for it, regardless, he thought it might be alright if he was only admitting it to himself, but, Jesus Christ, he missed Ben. He'd hit the threshold, he couldn't take his own self-imposed isolation from the other boy anymore. It just seemed appropriate that he wouldn't be able to find Ben now that he wanted to.
Maggie plopped down in the seat next to Jimmy and they sat in silence several seconds, then Jimmy sighed and she slipped an arm over his shoulders, settled comfortably beside him.
"No," he mumbled.
"I didn't ask anything," she said. It sounded as though she were laughing at him and she probably was.
"I don't want to talk about it," he told her. She gave him a small squeeze and he relaxed against her, scowling at the dirt covered ground, hating that it felt good to be mothered by her, even if it was only for that second, even if it never meant more than a second.
"Dr. Glass says that Tom should be up and about by tomorrow, day after at the latest," Maggie said conversationally.
"That's good."
"I'm sure the brothers will be relieved," Maggie continued.
"I bet Dai'll be relieved," Jimmy put in. They both chuckled at the thought of their poor friend, desperate to get back on the frontlines and out of the commander's seat.
"Do you really think Weaver will put Tom back as acting second?" Maggie wondered.
Jimmy shrugged, slumped forward in his seat, toyed subconsciously with the compass around his neck. He'd seen the captain infrequently over the past day or two, maybe glimpsed the older man in passing, but little more. Weaver was a busy man, and Jimmy just a soldier in his company. It was better Jimmy stay out of Weaver's way when he could, be as little burden as possible, if he wanted to maintain his position as a fighter.
"Probably," Jimmy admitted, "He'll want everyone to know he supports Professor Mason, believes in him, and that the aliens can't get to us like that, and you know, try and keep panic to a minimum, right? Best way to do that is give him his old job back."
"From what I hear, not many around camp would be happy of a decision like that," Maggie countered.
"Since when does Weaver make decisions based on how happy it makes everyone?" Jimmy returned, smirking up at her and she ruffled his hair absently. He made a face, and darted his eyes back to the fringe of camp at a flash of movement, heart jumping hopeful, then falling at the sight of a pair of patrollers waltzing into camp.
"I saw him leave a couple hours ago," Maggie said, and Jimmy didn't respond, "He didn't have his rifle with him. I think he was just going for a walk."
"More likely a run," Jimmy replied, lowering his eyes and folding his hands over each other, softly explaining, "He runs to kill the energy. Otherwise he gets restless. It's too much."
"You're worried about it," Maggie noted, creasing her brow, "Has it gotten worse?"
Subconsciously, Jimmy traced his fingers over his forearm.
"I don't know what to do," he confessed, "It's overwhelming him sometimes…I think…and I can't help him. No one can."
"Did he talk to Dr. Glass?" Maggie asked.
"No. Not really. Does it matter? He says she can't do anything, that it's a waste of hers and his time, and he's right," Jimmy replied, sinking heavily forward and shaking his head at the ground, "I tell him we'll figure it out, but I'm…" He bit his tongue on the confession, ran a hand over his weary features, "I'm not so sure."
"It can't hurt to keep her updated," Maggie suggested. She shifted slightly, moved Jimmy closer to herself, commented nonchalantly, "There's a rumor going around camp that you and Ben have split up."
Jimmy snorted softly, turned his cheek to her.
"Now I know it's just a rumor," Maggie went on, skimming the group of civilians telling stories, "Because you wouldn't be so calm if it was true, but I can't help wondering if he knows that it's just a rumor."
Jimmy darted a curious glance Maggie's direction and she took the cue to further clarify.
"Hal and Ben had a confrontation the other day," she said, took a slow breath, "And things got violent."
"I heard," Jimmy conceded.
"I saw," Maggie returned, paused a moment to consider her words, then continued, "He had Hal around the neck, Jimmy. When you say the alien side is overwhelming him sometimes…"
Jimmy straightened, wrenched himself from Maggie's hold, and hastily lied, "No, that's not what I meant."
Maggie folded her arms across her chest, raised a brow.
"I can't believe that you would think, like everyone else, that Ben is still under the aliens' control, that he can't be trusted," Jimmy cried, "How could you betray him like that?"
"Jimmy, I'm not," Maggie maintained, "I don't believe the aliens are controlling Ben, not even in the slightest."
"You don't?" Jimmy whispered, mildly surprised. Maggie furrowed her brow.
"Do you?" she asked.
Jimmy shook his head, dropped his eyes to the ground.
"He said he…that he…um…he loved…me," he stiltedly confessed, that disjointing word catching in his throat and coming out a decibel below a whisper. He bit hard into his inner cheek, drew blood.
"Jimmy, that's great," Maggie gushed.
"Not if the aliens are controlling him."
Maggie burst out laughing. Jimmy scowled, and she waved her hand at him apologetically.
"Oh come on! 'The aliens made him do it'? Please, and what would be their end game? Their devious plan, travel millions of light years across several galaxies, to another planet, all to play with the emotions of a teenage boy," Maggie teased.
"Mags," Jimmy groaned, slumping and making a face up at her.
Maggie straightened her features, wrinkling her nose at him.
"I'm sorry," she said, her attempt at earnestness ruined by a barely muffled giggle, and Jimmy folded his arms across his chest, pulled away from her, "No, seriously, I am sorry. But you have to admit, it's kind of a funny..."
"Forget it," Jimmy grumbled, readying to leave but Maggie grabbed hold of his wrist.
"Oh, you sit down. Talk to me," Maggie insisted, and Jimmy plopped back down, though he held himself away from her so she knew he wasn't thrilled with her reaction, "What is with you? This should a big deal. You should be excited!"
"Why?" Jimmy demanded. It was difficult enough confiding his general thoughts and emotions in another but Ben's confession was more personal. Though Maggie tended to be the exception, it seemed this time Jimmy had severely misjudged. He felt as though he'd been punched through the gut trusting her with it.
"Well, normally, people like when their boyfriend tells them something like that," Maggie carefully explicated.
"There's nothing normal about this," Jimmy pointed out and Maggie drew her breath in sharp, let it out in a heavy sigh.
"Yeah, I suppose there are a few things out of the ordinary about the situation," she conceded, "But that's no reason to not be happy about it. Unless…"
Maggie scrutinized Jimmy for a brief second and he fidgeted uncomfortably beside her.
"You do feel the same about him, don't you?" she wondered.
Jimmy shrugged, dropped his eyes.
"Jimmy," Maggie breathed a sigh and Jimmy tensed, scowled miserable at the ground.
"I care about him," he affirmed, "I just don't know if I…if I even can…forget it. I don't know."
"What did you tell him? When he said it?" Maggie asked gently, concern rippling through her features. She was worried about Ben, it was apparent, but there was something else in her expression that put Jimmy on edge.
Again, Jimmy shrugged, remained silent.
"Jimmy…" she pressed.
"Nothing. I told him nothing," he mumbled.
"Oh. Okay."
"But what was I supposed to say?" Jimmy ranted, "How did he expect me to respond to something like that? I don't know how I feel! I'm still trying to wrap my head around the alien invasion, for Christ's sake, and my entire family being gone."
"I'm sure he didn't expect you to say it back," Maggie told Jimmy, tone placating, "He probably just wanted you to know."
"No, what he wanted was some bullshit to feed his dad," Jimmy blurted out, then clamped his mouth shut so forcefully he bit a tiny chunk of flesh out of his tongue.
"What does Tom have to do with it?" Maggie questioned.
"Nothing."
Maggie perked a brow
"It's nothing," Jimmy insisted, shaking his head at the ground.
They fell silent. Jimmy was overly aware of Maggie staring at him, studying him, and he flustered, swallowed back harsh words and fought the urge to run for it. Then Maggie turned, put her arm back around Jimmy's shoulders, and after a couple seconds, she drew him into a partial embrace.
"You're too hard on yourself, kid," she noted.
"I don't know what to say to him," Jimmy whispered, "I don't know how to make this go away or get things back the way they were between us."
"I can tell you right now, it's not going away," Maggie informed him, "But things don't have to change between the two of you because of it."
Jimmy grunted, unconvinced, and rubbed a hand across his face, "Why can't this be easier?"
"Nothing worth having is ever easy," Maggie stated matter-of-factly.
"Did you read that in a fortune cookie?"
"Inspirational poster on the wall of a social worker's office, actually."
They exchanged a wry smile.
…
As they crept through the dark up towards a ruinous warehouse building of some kind, Ben started to think that maybe it would've been better to just let the bike go. Sure, the 2nd Mass was hurting for resources, especially after the incident at the community center, but a person willing to sneak through the dead of night and steal a bike right out from under a pair of armed young men reeked of desperation. A trait that became painfully more apparent the closer the brothers crept to the culprit and the only sounds Ben could hear were the muffled voices of very obviously young children.
Of course, all things taken into consideration, Hal was only just nearing the end of his teen years, and Ben, embarrassingly enough, had only barely passed puberty a month ago maybe. Children could be as dangerous, if not more so, than adults in that alien infested world. Hal handed off his rifle to Ben, signaled Ben to move around back and that he would slip in to confront their thieves.
Ben wordlessly acknowledged the instructions, shouldering the rifle and maneuvering deftly through the alley around the back side of the warehouse. He found a door and creaked it open, nosing the rifle barrel inside first, and cautiously slinking in behind it. He gently set the door back into place, and ghosted down a poorly lit hallway.
Deeper inside, there were at least ten voices vying for attention, most of which couldn't be attributed to anyone older than twelve, maybe thirteen. The eldest of the group sounded like a boy and girl, maybe late teens, from their comments they were clearly the authority of the group, mom and dad, so to speak. How very traditional of them, Ben noted bemusedly. They were discussing what to do next, stay put despite having used up all supplies viable for looting in the area or head into the woods and try their hand at Lord of the Flies style survival, meanwhile the children fought over who would get to ride the bike.
Ben found a way up into an overhang in the rafters. He eased himself into place, scanned the main room. His head count guesstimate wasn't too far off, there were eight in the room. Majority, as he had already gathered, barely pushing pre-adolescence, the youngest appeared to be around seven or eight. From the looks of things, they salvaged what they could from nearby buildings. Moldy furnishings crowded the interior, resembling a makeshift fort. In the center of the room, an older boy and girl, maybe fifteen or sixteen, sat on a couch draped comfortably across one another, flirting and making doe eyes at each other in a way that turned Ben's stomach, immediately shoving Jimmy to the forefront of his mind.
The older boy put an end to the children's arguing by declaring he would, of course, be the one riding the bike and that he'd pick one of the lot to join him while the rest were traveling on foot with the older girl. Jeanne, he called her.
Ben glimpsed Hal moving into the room, and lined the pack leader up in his sight as Hal announced his arrival, holding his hands up as a signal he came in peace.
"Actually, I'll be the one riding the bike."
The group startled, some froze and panicked while others scrambled for weapons they had no hopes of reaching before Ben could take them out, and Hal drew their attention to that, whistling and pointing out the sniper in the rafters.
"Who the hell are you?" the older boy demanded. He'd rose to his feet, his girlfriend moving towards the children, putting herself between the youngest members in their group and the intruders in their midst.
"I'm the guy whose bike you ripped off," Hal calmly answered, keeping his voice steady so the other boy knew he wasn't afraid but as non-threatening as possible, keeping aware of the frightened children in the room, he said, "Look, we don't want to hurt anyone, we just want our bike back. Let's start over, okay? My name is Hal, and that up there is my brother, Ben. What are your names?"
The older boy considered Hal. Though he put on an expression of relaxation, he kept his body tense, shoulders drawn back. His eyes were sharp, flickering back and forth between the brothers. His girlfriend held back one of the younger children by the elbow, a boy about eleven or twelve that looked more gutsy than wise. The younger boy kept taking a step towards a pistol nearby, but Jeanne would draw him back, dart a look up at Ben to determine if he'd caught the boy's intentions. Ben had, but he ignored both of them, keeping his rifle sight locked on the older boy, lined up for a clean headshot. He had a hunch if he dropped the ring leader, the others would fall in line with no problem, erstwhile Ben tried to shake the eerie feeling his own rationale left him with and the knowledge that he could pull that trigger easily and wasn't entirely sure if he'd feel much remorse in taking the life.
"Diego," the boy finally said, reluctantly biting his own name out as though he were spitting fire at Hal.
Hal nodded, glanced over the room, "It's just you two and the children here? Where are all the adults? Parents or…?"
"Our parents are dead," one of the little girls spoke up, and Jeanne hurriedly hushed her.
"Only thing adults are good for is getting us kids killed," Diego added, shook his head and explained bitterly, "They see us as vulnerability. The aliens are after kids, to put those things on them, control them or whatever, right? So they think if they get rid of any and all kids, ditch us or worse, that they'll be safe."
Ben flinched inwardly, again thought of Jimmy, a strange pain aching through him at the implications rushing to mind. Jimmy had made strange comments out at the grocery center weeks back, about the cruelty of adults in their post apocalyptic war, and then there were the stories Weaver told Ben, about Jimmy first joining the 2nd Mass. Ben hated knowing the hardships Jimmy had suffered in his past, but Ben hated more not knowing, and if there was one thing Jimmy seemed particularly keen on, it was keeping Ben from knowing things about his past.
And there in lie a disquieting connection to Ben's confession and Jimmy's unwillingness to respond. Jimmy put painstaking effort into keeping Ben at arm's length. He gave Ben as few details about himself as possible, his outright refusal to even consider telling Tom and his disapproval of others around camp knowing about their relationship, his seeming eagerness to end things as swiftly and cleanly as they'd started at the first opportunity, all added up to a very ominous possibility: the relationship didn't mean anything to Jimmy and he wanted it, probably even liked it that way.
"Not all adults think like that," Hal replied, "My brother and I are part of a resistance unit. Plenty of those in our group are children; they're cared for and protected by the adults."
"Did you happen to bring a brochure with that sales pitch," Diego dryly remarked.
"We're not interested in joining up," Jeanne said, "We do fine on our own."
"Surviving by sneaking around and stealing from others who are only trying to survive themselves," Hal scoffed.
"Kill or be killed," Diego replied sharply.
"I see that's working out well for you," Hal muttered, snorting lightly at their hovel of a hide-out, "I can hear the younger ones' stomachs all grumbling. And when's the last time any of you have had clean water to drink? Not to mention, medicine. I can tell from over here that one has a fever."
Jeanne placed a hand on the head of the small child cowering behind her, and Ben's eyes flew to the little one, mentally cursing himself. He'd missed it, but Hal was right, the boy's cheeks were flush and skin sallow. The tiny thing, willowy and frail looking, leaned against Jeanne's back, hid his face in the cloth of her jacket.
"We have a doctor back at our camp. You don't have to join up with us, but at least let us help you out," Hal persisted.
"And why exactly would you want to do that?" Diego growled, warily glaring at the other boy.
"Because unlike you, we survive by taking care of our own," Hal replied, "And saving our energy to fight the real enemy. The aliens. So here's the deal, in exchange for a bit of food, our doctor looking at your friend there, we get our bike back and part ways, no hard feelings. Sound reasonable to you?"
"It sounds like a trap," one of the children hissed to Diego.
Diego turned to examine the sick little boy, carefully considering the offer before him. He met Jeanne's eyes, silent conversation passing between them, and after a few seconds, she tipped her chin and he reeled round back to leering at Hal.
"Okay, fine. Jeanne, Will, Julian, and me will go back with you to your camp. The rest of you stay here. Johnny," Diego said, and the boy who'd been attempting to edge towards the pistol perked, "You're in charge until we get back."
Although Hal gave Ben the signal they were clear, Ben waited until the group had split according to Diego's instructions before slipping down from the rafters and out the back once more. He met his brother and the other four out front. They'd wheeled out Hal's bike, as well as a jeep. Hal was speaking with Diego and Jeanne, the two younger boys had crawled into the jeep's back and watched as Ben approached.
"I'll head into the 2nd Mass first, let them know company is coming for dinner," Hal said, "You ride with them, make sure they don't get lost."
Ben took a small step closer to Hal, dropped his voice low and questioned, "Why can't I head back first and you ride with them?"
One of the younger boys made a noise, like a gasp, from the jeep and Ben peeked back, caught what the little one noticed, and scowled, turning self-consciously so the spikes jutting from his neck were out of sight.
"Uh…it's my bike," Hal offered up justification, oblivious to the stares Ben was getting from both little boys now. He lightly slapped Ben's shoulder and teased, "Unless you're really that eager to get back to being avoided by Jimmy, lover boy."
Ben rolled his eyes and groaned, "I should've never told you..."
Hal straddled his bike and kicked off, as Ben climbed into the back of the jeep, keeping a comfortable distance from the two younger ones staring at him in a strange awe. Diego and Jeanne took the front seat.
"If this is a trap, we'll kill you first," Diego informed Ben in a conversational tone.
Ben looked over the group. Julian was the sick boy; he leaned heavy in the back and looked at Ben with wide, owlish eyes. Will hovered over Julian, about Matt's age, bony and malnourished, face smudged with dirt. Jeanne looked strong enough, for a fleeting moment, the cut of her jaw and steely glint in her eye reminded Ben, oddly enough, of the captain. Diego tugged a hand gun from the glove compartment, set it on the dash for show. Ben lay Hal's rifle across his lap, traced his fingers over the hilt of a knife he'd used to slay Skitters that night and smirked inwardly. Hal's earlier advice came to mind, you can't just give up, and it seemed to strike Ben then, he hadn't realized when it happened, somewhere between the alien abduction and being the only one that could rush into battle armed with little more than a knife, but at some point he'd become a fighter.
"You're certainly welcome to try."
And fighters didn't surrender.
.
.
.
AN: And there is Diego and Jeanne. Not entirely sure how they're going to play into the next several chapters, though I'm wondering if anyone can guess how Jeanne is going to play on Jimmy's psyche. once again, couldn't remember exactly how the actual scene played out, so I made it up a bit, and of course, things are going to be different anyhow because no Compass events yet.
Let me know what you all think.
Reviewers: Maben00, bwahahahahaha, yeah, that "cliffhanger" was nothing compared to things that are coming up. I don't blame you for being a Ben/Jimmy junky, they are kind of ridiculously adorable together. And they make for great inspiration, I have like three other stories in my mind featuring their pairing. Not that I'll write all of them, but whatever. FacePalmer123, ah, gracias, senorita. Fluffy feels, eh? Working on it. I promise, they'll have fluffy moments. TyphoonBoom08, lol, that's a good catch, I hadn't even connected those two scenes. Yeah, Jimmy's a terse fella, operates on a need to know, meaning, you don't need to know everything, just enough to alarm you. Yes, Hal, I like writing brother-bonding crap, to be honest, but like you said, post-apocalyptic war can't change everything. IcicleLilly, yay, glad you thought so. I'm nervous about how my version of Tom will be received. 2nd Mass is going to travel to some crazy places, some familiar, most not at all. Thanks for dropping by. Dee, dear, you do an amazing job analyzing the characters. I love it. Glad you peeked at Falling Snow, not my favorite bit of writing, but I wrote it in a week or so, so, yeah, I think I can be forgiven for anything that sucked in it. Yeah, Hal and Ben bonding moments are always fun. You know, he wants Ben to be happy, but not too happy he forget their in the middle of a war. And I like to pick on Jimmy, I don't know why. I try picking on Ben more, but Jimmy always gets the shorter end of the stick. Oh well, yes, he's all kinds of broken. And is that soon enough on meeting Jeanne and Diego? I kind of wonder where I'm taking this too. I kid, I know where we're going...I have a map somewhere...Yes, Ryan will definitely be in this story, as well as Gary, and we'll learn the fates of Lenny and Kevin, somewhat. Of course you know, that's all I can say on that matter. Yeah, I don't really have any interest whatsoever in continuing watching the show, especially since I've been writing this. I have a hard time watching something I write fanfic for if it's still ongoing. I typically only write fanfic for completed works that I didn't feel explored enough of the characters, or left me unsatisfied, but the Falling Skies writers had to go and kill off Jimmy and now I can't watch the damn show anymore. Bastards. That being said, I could possibly consider bringing Deni/Denny into the story later. Maybe. I don't know. But she would be horribly off, so probably not.
Right. There's that. Um...I have to go breadboard my computer. It's still dead. Bought a liquid cooler, moved everything into a new (very nice) case because the cooler wouldn't fit in my old case (which means, I have new build material!), but it won't start up. No post. :( I'm hoping it's the power supply, but most likely not. I'm thinking I either damaged the motherboard during transfer (it's a risk) or the CPU cleaning the thermal paste off to swap the CPU fan with the liquid cooler. UGH! with my luck, it'll be both and I'll have to go out and buy a whole new everything (not everything, just mobo and CPU...knock on wood). My dad cursed it, saying I might as well do a new build. Jerk. I just got done building him a computer and my old build isn't even two years old. Fuck you, tech gods.
Rant over. See you all next Sunday!