Chapter 96 Truce

As Kat approached the hospital bed with its blue curtain pushed aside, she firmly reminded herself that she was here to make peace with Starbuck, not get into one of their usual verbal—or physical—sparing matches. She was surprised to see that the Captain was sleeping, her bandaged head turned slightly away. Standing uncertainly at the bedside, Kat realized that she'd never visited Kara in sickbay before. Not that she hadn't had many chances, between the pilot's wild exploits, both in and out of the cockpit, she'd certainly been a frequent enough patient of the Doc's.

Now, staring down at the injured woman, it dawned on Kat why she'd avoided coming all the other times. It was intensely disturbing seeing Starbuck anchored to the bed by tubes and monitors while looking so pale and…mortal. Her reputation might be legendary, but the figure in the bed was still a woman, with all the frailties that came with being human.

In that moment, Kat saw how she'd put the senior pilot on a pedestal, then tried her damnedest to repeatedly knock her off, feeling powerful whenever she'd succeeded. Shame stained her cheeks as she recalled all the times she'd denigrated Kara instead of trying to help her.

Course, Starbuck probably woulda probably handed me my ass. But, it's not like I ever tried, did I? Why trust me, accept my help? I've certainly never offered before.

Scrutinizing her feelings towards her once flight instructor, she concluded that she had always found an obscure satisfaction in pushing the senior pilot, both personally and professionally. As she tried to understand why that was, Kat questioned why she had needed to lower her opponent to raise her own self-image. Hadn't she chosen to challenge Starbuck because she wanted to best the best? Kat finally acknowledged to herself that she had been so busy trying to cut Kara down, she hadn't seen how she was just lowering herself in the process.

Guilt was like bile in her mouth as Kat came to see the real damage she'd inflicted upon Kara. She'd shown the other woman that her fellow pilots couldn't be relied on…at least not outside of the cockpit. So Kara had hidden her pain behind Starbuck's bitter anger, not believing that she might ask for, and receive, comfort from those around her.

Kat didn't know how she could make things right, but she decided to find a way to help Kara—no matter how pissy Starbuck might get about her attempts.

Standing beside the bed, shifting from foot to foot, she debated whether to wake her or return another time. As if in answer to her dilemma, a clatter echoed through sickbay as a tray hit the ground behind her.

Even as Kat jumped at the harsh noise, she saw Starbuck's instant reaction. The figure in the bed bolted upright, the uncovered green eye wildly searching for the direction of the attack, body tensed to strike out. Kat instinctively stepped back, then stopped as Kara dropped her head into her hands with a low moan. After a minute, the blonde raised her gaze to squint at the person standing beside her bed.

"What the hell, Kat. What're you doing here?" Kara harshly asked, while gingerly pressing fingertips to her temples.

"Good to see you, too," replied Kat, not missing the pained way Kara held her head. "Look…relax, Ok. I just came by to…to see how you're doing. See if ya need anything. And…to thank you for saving my ass out there," she said, then couldn't help adding, "though it was stupid to take on that Raider without guns, Skipper. You still got a death wish or what?" Kat challenged, letting concern raise the heat on her question.

Propping a pillow behind herself, Kara eased back against the support and considered the other woman, searching for why Kat had come to visit her now, when she never had before. Seeing honest worry in the other woman's expressive face, Kara decided maybe it was time she and Kat cleared the air between them. They'd constantly pushed each other's buttons, and she never had quite understood why that was. Maybe Laura was right, talking might make things easier, especially since her head hurt too much to settle things in hers and Kat's usual way.

"You're welcome, and no, I wasn't trying to do suicide-by-Cylon," she said putting forth the best smirk she could manage past the pounding in her temples. Her façade abruptly dropped as she continued, "It's just… I forgot how hard it was, you know, when Jouster… I heard him call out, and then he was just…gone." Averting her eyes, "Then I heard you, and saw the bastard closing on your tail. At first I was gonna just distract it, give you time to get some distance, time for someone else to intercept." Kara paused, examining why she'd decided to attempt to take out the Raider herself. With a sigh, she met Kat's turbulent gaze again and continued. "Guess I had something to prove," she admitted.

"Frak, Starbuck. You don't have to prove anything," protested Kat with a shake of her dark hair.

"Right… I know everyone thinks I'm crazy, or at least crazier," bitterness souring her words as she spit them out, "Starbuck's gone from frakkin'-up to just plain frakked-up, right Kat? I see the stares… The way people stop talking when I come in." She looked down at her hands knotted in the blanket and forced them to relax as she tried to swallow away the knot in her throat. It hurt, knowing that the crew of Galactica, the only people she had, thought she was a broken has-been. Kara grimly admitted to herself that that was why she'd pulled such an outrageous stunt, to prove that she was the same fearless Starbuck of old that could accomplish the impossible in her Viper.

Looking at the bent head, Kat could practically see the thoughts that had driven Kara to the extreme maneuver.

"Starbuck… Look, I'm a bitch. Truth is were a pair of them. You know I won't kiss your ass or tell ya pretty lies. So, know this," locking brown eyes to green, "You got nothing to prove, to me or anybody. We're the ones that frakked-up. Shoulda had your back, and we didn't—I didn't," Kat firmly said.

"Don't need your pity, Katraine."

Kat abruptly changed the thrust of her words, "When the frakkers took out Jouster, you think the rest of us didn't feel the same way you did?" she demanded. "We feel the same with you. Knowing that the motherfrakkers hurt you makes me want to climb in my Viper and just tear the Cylon bastards apart, fry every last one. That isn't pity, that's family."

"Family, huh? What's that suppose to mean, Kat? Cause I never really had one, so…" she trailed off with a shrug.

At Starbuck's words, Kat remembered a snippet of conversation she'd overheard a few weeks back between the Admiral and Apollo, something about Kara's mom, that the woman never should have been allowed custody of a dog, let alone a kid. Now, the connotations of that remark struck a new chord, took on new meaning for Kat.

"The people on Galactica, we're your people, Kara. Sure, we fight, bitch and moan, but we're still your people. And you're ours," said Kat, hoping she was making some sense.

Kara fingered her dog tags as she softly said, "You know, it wasn't until I flew a Viper for the first time that I believed that maybe I wasn't a complete screw-up. Something important I could do," she admitted. "And, I never had a home, never really belonged, until I came to Galactica. The Admiral, he… It was strange, you know, having someone care, having someone's respect." Kara rolled her head away, suddenly embarrassed and feeling foolish for sharing with Kat of all people.

"I do know what you mean…bout flying—and the Old Man," said Kat. She leaned forward slightly, drawing the green gaze back to hers. "I've been so frakkin' jealous of you since I came to Galactica. 'Vipers and Starbuck', everyone touts your name as the best of the best. And the Admiral…we all know how he feels about you." Now it was Kat's turn to avert her eyes, "And I wanted that. Frakkin' wanted it so bad…and didn't consider there might be room for two of us. So I tried to take it from you," she confessed. Raising her head to meet Kara's regard, she strove to make the other woman see her sincerity, "I'm sorry."

Kara held Kat's gaze, testing the honesty of her words, studying their import and cost. She let her lids close over aching eyes, to hide the sudden moisture.

"I'm tired, Kat," she said without looking at the other woman.

"Ok… I should go then," she said, taking the hint. Yet she still hesitated, staring down at Kara's closed-off features before reluctantly turning to leave.

As she started to walk away, she heard Kara speak again, "I could use a change of clothes. Cottle's kicking me out of here tomorrow."

"No problem. I'll bring some by later today. If that's Ok with you?" Kat said as she looked back over her shoulder at the figure on the bed. Kara's eyes were still shut, but she saw the slight nod of the blonde head.

As Kat left sickbay, her step and heart felt lighter than it had in a long time, and she had an idea or two to set in motion.