Hello! I am watching a football match because my brother supports that team. I decided I would update because, what the hey?! OMG MY FRIEND TEXTED ME BACK FROM THE TEXT I SENT LAST ABOUT THE ZERRIE ENGAGEMENT. IT SAYS: OMFG JoBros?! Hey...isn't Kev and Dani expecting? I WAS LIKE FUCK YOU, YES THEY ARE! Anyway, update because I was bored.

So, on to the story!

Huh, I am hungover, so is Jesse. You're wondering why I mentioned my dear Twinnie? We have a meeting today to discuss Triple J's Tour coming up around after mine and Nate's wedding. I am head over heels in work and my hears burn from the many useless talents I have heard today. I have a headache, Nate's gone somewhere with his sister and brothers, my brother still hasn't turned up for the meeting which started twenty minutes ago and Johnny and Jack are getting pissed. Brown just says he's stuck in traffic but the minute J walks in, I'm killing him.

"So the tour starts on the 11th right?" Johnny asked for the tenth time. I swear a vein was popping out of my head.

I tried keeping calm. "Yes, Johnny. 11th of August. Also known as Amelia's birthday and the TCA awards. Which I have to reschedule my honeymoon just to attend." I sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time today. Johnny nodded as Jesse, clad in a black hoodie, black snapback and black jeans came in. He sat down and pulled his hat down lower.

"Oh! Jesse, how nice of you to come." Brown said before I completely went on a swearing spree. Jesse was about to talk when he cut him off. "Save it, you're here now, that's all that matters, right Caitlyn?" He said, looking at me. I scowled and rolled my eyes at Jesse.

"Sis, I'm sorry. I've just been to the hospital and came back with not such good news." He pleaded. I stared at him, shocked. "I'll tell you later." He whispered. "So, note me." He clapped his hands.

I had gotten strangely calm when Jesse said he had bad news so I decided to lay it off, softly for him. "Your tour starts on August 11th." I said.

"Wait, won't you be on your honeymoon and... isn't the TCA awards on that day? And also isn't it Amy's birthday?" He asked.

"I'm rescheduling my honeymoon with Nate. We're working on that. Yes, Amy's birthday is on that day. And you'll be able to attend the awards. You leave at 11:30 p.m." I replied. Jesse smiled to himself. Probably planning on trying to win my future sister-in-law's heart.

"When does it end?" Jack, who had been quiet throughout asked.

"May the 20th." Brown replied. I nodded in confirmation and the boys nodded.

"Perfect." Jesse replied, leaning back and putting his feet up.

"Ok, we're done here." I smiled. "You're dismissed. Jesse? Did you drive here?" I asked. Jesse shook his head.

"I took a taxi." He replied.

"Great, you're coming with me." I packed everything up and walked out the door with Jesse following, confused.

...

I got in the driver's seat and Jesse got in the passenger's. I waited a while to let Jesse start talking.

"Why aren't you driving? I thought..." He shook his head. "You want to know the news." He sighed. I put a hand on his cheek and stroked it.

"What is it? You can tell me." I whispered. Jesse's eyes watered and he swallowed hard.

"I, uh..." He started. Tears started falling and I tried to keep mine down. I couldn't stand seeing my brother like this.

"Twinnie, what's bothering you? I can sense it. But I don't know it." I said. Jesse shrugged, his face going red.

"I've got...uh, I have..." He took a deep breath. "Cancer." He whispered. I dropped my hand in shock. He looked out the window and leaned his head against it. My breaths came hitched and I let out a quiet sob. No wonder the need for a black outfit. He's mourning his old life. "It's bad." He cried. "I can't tell Mom because she'll break down and I can't tell Cornie because she has Fiona to deal with. And I couldn't tell you because of your wedding and the stress. I didn't want to be a burden. Hell, I didn't even want to have attention."

"Jesse, tell Mom. Sit down with her, have a little chat then break it gently to her. You've probably inherited Jacob's genes." I told him. He got a tissue and wiped his eyes.

"Yeah. Let's go." He said, hoarsely. I started the car and drove home. I didn't want to cause any more distress on him. That's probably why he drank so much yesterday. He must have known then got professional advice.

"If you want...I can be there when you talk to her. You have to do it today." I said, stealing a glance at him.

"Ok." Was all he said.

...

Mom sat down on the sofa, confused. I stood by the arch door leading to the living room. Jesse was in the armchair looking anywhere but at Mom. "Babe, what's the matter. You just said we needed to talk and sat down." Mom said. "Caitlyn? What's going on?" I shook my head.

"Not my place to say, Mama." I said. She nodded and looked back at Jesse. "Twinnie, say it." I urged.

Jesse sighed and leaned forward, rubbing his face with his hands. "Mom...I'm ill." He looked at her. Her face paled.

"Ill as in, a cold or flu?" She asked, watery. I think she already knew what he meant.

Jesse shook his head and looked down. "The big c." He said. Mom gasped and stood up. She went over to him and held him in her arms.

"My baby...my baby boy. Wie gehts?" She asked. Jesse shrugged.

"Ich bin müde." He replied.

"Ok, you go to sleep and we'll talk about this later. Ich liebe dich." She smiled.

"Ti amo." He said back. I swallowed hard and went to my room. I closed the door and shut my eyes tight. Deep breaths. Deep breaths... My phone rang. I answered it.

"Hallo?" I asked.

"Hey, Miss Wynwood, it's Anna." I mentally sighed when I heard her voice.

"Yeah? What's up?" I asked.

"Do you mind coming in today? First session of the year? I am busy with other clients and I bet you're also busy with your upcoming wedding, so, can you fit little ol' me today?" I laughed.

"Sure thing, An. I got some stuff to let out so I might be too emotional..." I say. Anna sighed.

"It's ok. So I'll see you in 30?" She asked.

"Yup. On my way now after a quick shower. Bye." I said. She mumbled her 'bye' and hung up. She was busy indeed.

I had a quick shower and put on some casual clothes. I pulled on my UGG boots and my jacket with a grey hoodie. I put my hoodie up and slipped on some sun glasses. Some people didn't know I see a therapist and I would like it to stay that way. And people would understand. Come on! I had a very terrifying experience with fire.

I ran downstairs and out the door before I got stopped by Mom. "Where are you going?" She asked.

"Miss Whitehall wanted to fit me in today because we're both busy. Don't tell Nate because there's some private things only meant for her to hear." I said. She nodded in understanding. "I promise I will tell him, but in my own time." I dashed out and into my car. I was already 5 minutes late. I drove to the building listening to my songs on the radio.

...

"Caitlyn! Take a seat." Anna offered. I sat down and she smiled. "Well let's start with, congratulations on your engagement!" She exclaimed.

"Thanks." I smiled back.

"How does that make you feel?" She asks.

"Elated. I am going to spend the rest of my life with the man I love. We're surrounded by family and friends and I couldn't have asked for anything better." I reply.

"Good. Now...Have you been getting any new dreams? It's been a while since your last one." She asked. I looked down.

"Yeah. I had one yesterday. I had a new one. It was about one of the times I'd spent...with Jacob." I said. Anna knew about him. She nodded. "I wake up next to him...And I've just slept with him." I cried. Anna handed me a tissue and put a hand on my knee for comfort. "I tried escaping but he slaps me and rapes me again. To think that this happened nearly four years ago..." I break down crying.

"It's ok. Let it all out. We're healing here. I'm sorry if this is scarring you but if you keep it in, it will kill you. You say that you've never told Nate about some of the things we talk about? Do you trust him? Do you believe him when he calls you beautiful?" She asked. I looked up and smiled softly.

"I trust him with all my heart. He would never hurt me. When he cheated, I forgave him. Since then, everything's perfect. We do have the occasional arguments but all couples have that. Sometimes I don't believe him when he calls me that. Jacob took my confidence, my self-esteem, my right to live away. If it wasn't for Nate coming back into my life, I would have died out of depression. He saved me. My friends saved me. My brother and sister and Mom saved me. Jacob would call me beautiful one second but the next he would call me mean names. When Nate says it, I believe him. I love him, I grin. He says that's one of my nicknames because I am beautiful." I said. Anna smiled, widely.

"He's a great guy even if I've never met him personally. My niece loves Connect 3." She laughed. I laughed along with her. "Now let's talk about family. Let's start with your sister. How does she make you feel?" She asked.

"Fantastic. She calls me 'baby girl' all the time and I love it. She's crazy but I love her to bits." I said. Anna laughed.

"O-Okay. Now how does little baby Fiona make you feel?" She asked. I grinned.

"She make's me feel so happy. I definitely want my own child. Fifi is just so damn gorgeous! I'm already spoiling her." I laughed. Anna laughed and took deep breaths to calm her laughter.

She asked a question which brought tears to my eyes. I refused to let them fall. Too much weakness for one day is enough. "How does Jesse make you feel?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. Anna took this in, looking confused. She noticed my eyes.

"Hey...Is there something going on between you?" She asked. I shook my head.

"Not really. I...uh, he gave me some bad news. About him. I felt something was wrong with him. I didn't know what it was until today. Oh my gosh...he probably won't make my wedding." I gasped. Anna's eyes widened.

"Hey...Shh, he will. What's up with him?" She asked, gently. I hiccuped. "Take your time." She smiled, softly.

"He has cancer. He thinks it's really bad." I said. I could see her experiencing my emotions. She tried to stay as professional as posible.

"How does it make you feel?" She asked, cautiously.

"Angry that it passed through Jacob's genes. Worried he might die. Upset because he's never going to be my brother. At lest, what he was before all this. Scared because he might change. He wouldn't be able to do the things he loves." I say, leaning my head on my hand.

"Let me tell you this." She started. "Do you know Nate came to me a couple of years ago?" She asked. My eyes widened and I shook my head.

"I thought you said you'd never met him personally." I said. Anna laughed, and shook her head. I guess patient confidentiality was also in this criteria.

"Well, patient confidentiality and all that." She smiled. "Anyway, when he found out he had diabetes, he changed. He came to me, aged 14, scared that he wouldn't do what he loves. He's doing alright, isn't he? He survived this." She said. I sat there, eyes wide. Nate came to her? How come...? Did he recommend her to Mom?

"Yeah, he did. I'm so proud of him. If he did that...Jesse can too." I said. Anna Whitehall nodded, happily.

"Is it alright if you can get him to make an appointment with me? Or your mother could." She asked.

"Yeah. Sure thing." I said, wiping my face with tissue.

"Now about that new dream. Talk to Nate and Mr. Gellar. Otherwise, when you get married, you won't be trusting Nate anymore. Can you do that for me and Nate?" She asked. I nodded, smiling. "Good. Now we're done here. I'll see you hopefully when you do talk to both of them." She stood up, me following.

"Yeah. Thank you so much." I hugged her. "I'll see you then." I smiled, before exiting. I went out the small building and got in my car. I sat there for a while, thinking about all what Miss Whitehall had said. I decided to drive to Mitchie's. Both her sisters were around so I decided to finally meet them.

...

I rang the doorbell. It took three minutes for someone to answer. Connie gasped. "Caitlyn! Oh my gosh! Hey!" She hugged me and invited me in. I closed the door behind me and looked around. "Mitchie and Mattie are in the pool." She explained. I nodded, going into that direction. "Hey, Cait? You lost one earring." She dangled my hoop earring in front of me. I took it and stuffed it in my bag.

"Thanks!" I said, hugging her.

"No problem." She smiled, going to the living room. "Thanks for cleaning the house!" She called behind her back. I shook my head, smiling.

"Anytime!" I responded, opening the back door. "Hey, hey, hey!" I exclaimed. Mitchie gasped and got out of the pool, coming to hug me. I stopped her. "Hey sista! No, no. Don't get me wet." She laughed.

"Fine, let's settle with a handshake." We did just that. "Hey, meet Matilda!" She dragged me to the direction her little sister was staring at me, in fear. "Hey sweetie. She's my friend, remember? You know Nate from Connect 3?" She asked. Mattie nodded. "Well, she's Nate's fianceé." Matilda got out and squealed.

"Nice to meet you!" She said, giving me a handshake.

"Same here!" I smiled.

She giggled and put some wet hair behind her ear. "You're very pretty without makeup. No wonder, he picked you." She said.

"Thank you!" I said, smiling at her. "Where's Michay?" I asked Mitchie.

"Oh, she's upstairs. Come meet her." Mitchie didn't mind that I used the name she called her sister. Pronounced: 'Mi-kay'. She and Matilda lead me upstairs to one of the guest room doors. She knocked ever so gently. "Michay? I know you're petting Gabby to sleep but come meet my friend." She said. I think Gabby is one of Michaela's children. A brunette woman of Mitchie's height but a bit more slimmer opened the door and stepped out, closing it behind her.

"Hey. Nice to meet you. You're Caitlyn, right?" She said, giving me a handshake. I nodded, smiling.

"Yeah. Nice to meet you too." I said.

"You're engaged. Congratulations!" She brought me into a hug.

"Thank you." I smiled. "So Gabby is your daughter?" I asked.

"Yeah, she's three. My youngest. Then there's Rachel and Samuel." She said. "Sam's the oldest. He's 7, Rach is 5." She explained. I nodded. "I would love to stay and get to know each other better but Gabriela is a light sleeper so..." She said. I nodded in understanding.

"We'll meet again soon." I said, hugging her again. She went back in the room and Mitchie dragged me and Mattie to her bedroom.

"We'll go get changed and do something like...go out." She said. I nodded, sitting down on her bed. I waited for half an hour and both of them came out the bathroom, dry and fully clothed. "Go-Kart racing, do you good?" She asked, putting her newly blonde hair in a bun. I shrugged.

"Sure." I followed her and Matilda into her car.

"So, why are you dressed so casual?" Mitchie asked, randomly. True, I was normally a casual fashionista and I had a great sense of fashion as they say on Fashion Police. She kept her eyes on the road while I lied down on the back seats.

"Hangover. I had a shitty meeting today about Triple J's tour. I had my therapist session and I'm just not in the mood for any happiness." I reply. Mitchie tutted at my curse because of Mattie. I giggled. "Sorry." I said.

"It's ok. How did the session go?" Mitchie asked. "Did you talk about your...you know...dream?" She asked.

"Yeah. I need to talk to Nate and Jacob about it." I said, sitting up and watching the scenery go by.

"Yes you do. Nate yes, Jacob no." Mitchie said. "So why aren't you in the mood for happiness?" She asked. I needed to tell someone close to both J and me.

"I received not so good news." I said.

"Go on..." Mitchie urged. She looked at me through the mirror. I motioned to Matilda and she understood. "Mattie put on my iPod." Matilda did. "On loud please." Mitchie said, unimpressed at her sister's attempt at eavesdropping. We could hear the music blaring from the speakers. "Thank you!" Mitchie shouted. Matilda just nodded and looked out the window. "So, tell me, Kitty." Mitchie said.

"Jesse's ill." I said. Mitchie stopped the car at a gas station and looked back at me, eyes wide.

"How do you mean?" She whispered.

"He had the big c." I whispered, blinking tears away.

"Oh my gosh, babes. I will pray for Jesse. Hopefully the cancer will go. When did he find out?" Mitchie asked.

"This morning. I felt so bad for being rude to him. He forgives me because I obvs didn't know but I still feel bad." I said.

"It's not your fault. It's Jacob's. Okay? You understand?" She asked. I nodded. "Good now Go-Kart racing will cheer you up!" Mitchie smiled, she drove off onto the main road, in search of her local race track. We went here all the time. Our '6' group. When we will visit Mitch, we went there and bowling and then Subway. "Hey should Mara and the boys join us?" She asked.

"Oh, can they?!" Matilda exclaimed. Mitchie rolled her eyes. Of course Mattie wouldn't be satisfied with music for a long while.

"Yeah! Can they?" I mimicked Matilda.

"Fine. Caitlyn call them." I did as told and arranged to meet them at the track.

...

Mitchie turned off the ignition and spotted Mara and Jason standing in front of the center. Where were the other two? Oh yeah, there they are! Just popped to McDonalds. I got out with Matilda grabbing my hand. Mitchie offered hers but Mattie wanted mine so Mitchie pouted playfully. Matilda gave in and grabbed hers too. We walked the long distance from the car park to the center. When we walked behind the four, looking for us, Matilda sneaked behind Shane. I did Nate and Mitchie did Jason and Mara.

When I signed 1 to 3, we all screamed, "Boo!" and they jumped. We burst out laughing and they rolled their eyes.

"Hey Mattie!" Shane high fived Matilda.

"Hi! Oh my gosh! Mitchie can I hug Jason and Nate?!" Matilda seeked permission from her big sister. Mitchie looked at them and they shrugged.

"Sure." She said. Matilda squealed and hugged them at the same time. "Ok...that's enough." Mitchie pulled her away from them.

Matilda was still in fan-girl state. "Mazzy P! OH EM GEE!" Mara smiled and waved. Matilda hugged her too. Mara also noticed my state of clothing.

"Oh my gosh. What happened to Diva?!" She came over to me and checked my outfit. "What the heck are you wearing? Hoodie, jeans, black top. UGGS?" She said.

"Darling, Miss Caitlyn here can enjoy a bit of casual clothing." I said.

"Better beware. The Fashion Police might be around." Shane said, worriedly. I laughed at his sarcasm.

"Ha. Ha. By the way, I am just really tired so I threw on what suited my mood." I said.

"You threw on what your mood was, a'ight." Mara said.

"You should speak for yourself, Miss I-Turn-Emo then turn back but a cooler me." Mitchie tried defending but failed.

"Uh, guys? Paparazzo!" Matilda said. We all turned. There, in bright flashes, was 3 guys with cameras. The girls and I hoped none of them FP. We went in and got to reception. Mitchie got us in and we went to a private track. There were seven Karts and all of us got into one. There was a guy at the start line who counted down for us to go.

"Ready...Set...Go!" He waved the flag. I got ahead of the boys and Mitchie. It was just Mattie and Mazz I needed to beat. We were doing one lap for the group race and Mattie was close to the finish line. She passed and I managed to swerve ahead of Mara. She gasped and bumped my car, only resulting in me going faster. I passed the line and Mara came 3rd. Nate, 4th. Mitchie 5th, Shane and Jason, joint 6th.

"You bumped me!" I exclaimed at Mara. She stuck her tongue out. "Real mature!" I laughed. Matilda complained she was hungry even though we spent less than 10 minutes at the center. Nate then mentioned the food would get cold so we decided to eat first then go for races. I sat next to Nate and stole his chips. He said he didn't want them so I took the whole lot. "Thanks." He shrugged.

"You okay? You're really quiet." Nate noticed. I smiled and shrugged.

"I am not to be honest but it's not about me. It's about someone else. I'm not sure if they want me to tell this, yet." I admitted. Nate smiled and grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers together.

"Tell them that they can tell anyone in their own time." He smiled. He was so understanding. Jesse was half the problem, the rest was about my dream last night.

"And the other half is about me but I'll be able to tell you in my own time." I said. He nodded.

"Ok. I'll wait for you. I know how hard it is with everything and planning our wedding as well. And I know about the therapy sessions but I'll wait for you. Take your time." I kissed him and Matilda groaned.

"Hey. You're 12 and we're all 19 and above so please!" I said. Everyone laughed and I sat back in the chair. "Ready for another round of races?" I asked. Everyone put their hand up.

Let's leave today as a sad but happy day.

Like that? Well please, please review! Favourite and add to your alert.

Thanks!-Bex