Dangerous Journey

Disclaimer: Don't own iCarly

A/N:

Chapter 4 (Lost Hope)

Freddie was to his father's right. He stepped forward and looked up at her. "I could ask you the same thing!" He spread his arms out and furrowed his brow. "I'm here making sure you don't get your ass killed. I know it can't be good, whatever you're here for, if Spencer's got my dad following you around. Carly won't talk to me about it, and Spencer isn't saying anything."

"What am I doing here?" The muscles in her arm tensed, and her hands tightened around the outer edge of the windowsill. "It isn't any of your business." The vein in her neck bulged and her eyes locked with his. "You shouldn't even be here."

"All I know is it's not safe, whatever you're doing."

"Since when is that a problem? Go home to your mother!" She was already aware Mr. Benson was following her around, so that wasn't an issue. John Benson was a grade above Mr. Vega, which meant he was the Deputy Police Chief of Los Angeles. If there was any officer in this town that wasn't corrupt, Sam trusted him to be that officer.

"My mother's losing it, I'd rather not go back to her right now."

"Your mother's been losing it, that's not news." Freddie smirked at her and lowered his hands.

"Look. I'm concerned about you. If you're doing something that could hurt yourself…" Her chest expanded and her fingers tightened on the windowsill. She wanted to know when he started to give a shit about her.

Her body started to ache, and the world around her faded away as she focused her glare on the boy. "Don't start pretending like you care about my well-being, Benson." His mouth fell open and he moved his hands outwards a bit while calling up to her.

"Oh come on, don't start this. You know I care about you. I came all this way for you, Sam." She bit down on her tongue and turned her head away to conceal the tears producing in her eyes.

"You also told me things when we were together, made me believe we had something, and then threw it away." With a growl, Sam leaned further out of the window and strained her already raw throat to bite back at him. "The last person I want or need help from is you."

"Sam!"

"You care for me, 'love' me. Just like you were 'in love' with Carly, and every other girl that gave you the time of day."

"This isn't the time."

"It never is." She pointed at Mr. Benson, who was still standing calmly beside his son with his arms crossed. "I don't mind your dad looking out for me, if he has to, but I don't want you coming around."

At the same time, she didn't want him in any danger. She still had feelings for him, that wasn't a lie, and those feelings didn't permit she let him put himself in this already dangerous situation. David could do whatever he wanted to her, and that would be fine if it meant neither Freddie or Carly had to come under harm.

"Sam, just talk to me. Let me explain-"

"You're right, this isn't the time. Leave me alone." She tore away from the window, inhaled and shut the window with a great deal of force. She then pushed her back against the window and brought her hand up over her mouth, stifling a single painful sob.

Trina was standing in front of her, silent but shocked. "What was that about?" She moved her hand away and shook her head.

"Nothing. Just my ex." She wanted to say a friend, but given the display, it was likely to be less believable than it was accurate. "We are actually on friendly terms, it's just…he shouldn't be here."

"Why? Is there some kind of danger?" A chuckle fell from her trembling lips and she ran her hand over her sweat covered neck.

"I don't know. A friend of mine has his dad following me around. That guy out there that you think looks like Burt Reynolds is Freddie's father." John and Marissa had been divorced since around Freddie's birth. Evidently Marissa was too psychotic or clingy, so the marriage failed due to a number of issues including whatever mental problem she had.

After the divorce, Marissa moved to Seattle with family, then fought for and won custody of Freddie-primarily because in those days the father almost never won custody of a child over the mother, no matter how good of a parent and provider the father was compared to the mother.

Even Sam could see that Freddie might have grown up a little better had he had his father around.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." She walked past Trina and looked down into the dining area. Tori and her friends were still playing their game like nothing happened. "I guess they didn't hear all that."

"Yeah they didn't. It's not easy to hear someone up here." Trina put her hand to her stomach and looked towards the door. "I've been sick a lot lately, and had the door open, but no one's heard anything." Sam turned her head and raised an eyebrow.

"Sick? Stomach virus or something?"

"Yeah. Just stress and anxieties, I think." Trina paused and pulled her head back slowly. "Not sure why I'm telling you that. It isn't important." She wasn't sure if it wasn't important, especially if Trina was bringing it up-and to a total stranger that was giving her some attention.

In such a case, it had to be important. "Earlier you said something about people who care for you leaving you. You've dated?"

"Yeah, I can't say they've willingly left. Certainly there are no men in my life that have hurt me in the way it looks like you've been." Sam dropped her head and sighed.

"Well actually, Freddie and I…it's not that he hurt me, he just-I don't know."

"I get it. You don't have to talk about it. He's still a part of your life, though. No one's taken him away from you." She furrowed her brow and turned up her head, waiting as Trina walked into her bedroom.

"True." She followed Trina and leaned against the wall as Trina sat down on her bed. Beside the bed was a table with a photograph of a man in a gi, his arms were wrapped around Trina, and she was smiling. Quite possibly, this was the only time Sam had seen a true smile on the girl's face.

"Can I confide in you something?" Sam pushed herself away from the wall and approached Trina slowly, nodding as the girl studied the photo. In the photograph, there was something else beside the joyous expression.

Hope.

Clear as day, Sam could see the hope and security in Trina's eyes. She didn't look any younger than she did now, so the photograph was recent. "Of course you can." Trina folded her hands in her lap and continued to stare at the photograph. Her shoulders fell and her face softened.

"I've dated some people here and there, but it never lasted. People don't give me a chance now because they know my relationships don't last, but it's not my fault. It's our dad…The man in this picture?" Trina lifted the frame and turned towards Sam. "He was the only one I ever loved, I felt safe. My life here isn't exactly good, and I felt like I could be safe with him."

"What happened?"

Trina's voice broke and fresh tears ran along her cheeks. "I don't know." Sam took a seat beside Trina and cradled the photo in her hands as though it were fragile as thin glass. "He didn't run away, he didn't leave, but he's gone. I don't know if Dad sent him away or did something to him. He's just gone. My last chance."

"I…I'm sorry."

"I loved him, he loved me." Trina took the picture and closed her eyes. "You know that guy downstairs that you were just yelling at?" She chuckled once and nodded; Freddie was probably still outside. "He's still here, and he's here for you isn't he?"

"Maybe." The man in this photo piqued her curiosity, but now was hardly the time to pry Trina for further information. Sasha might know him, since he had on martial arts uniform-it was possible he was a fellow student. "You trusted him, and you say he didn't hurt you, so where is he?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen him since after we spent that night together." Sam pulled her hands up to her face, sighing as she ran them down the front of her head. "I went to him for something, we slept together and spent the rest of the next day together. This was a couple months ago, Dad wasn't exactly happy that I was out all night."

"Your father sounds very controlling."

"He is."

"I don't like where this is going." She covered her mouth and tried to envision what this criminal might do in such a case as Trina spending the night at someone else's house. "This is a man that doesn't want to be found out, and he can't afford to let Trina be taken from him-even when she turns eighteen he'll likely find a way to control or manipulate her into thinking she needs to stay home. There are parents that believe their kids must take care of them…"

Whatever the case was, the man in the picture threatened all of that. If there was a chance he was alive, then he could be found, but at this point there was no telling what could have happened.

"So Trina, can I ask a personal question?" There had to be a trend somewhere, and Sam needed to find it. Trina pushed herself against her headboard and shrugged. "What happened to other people you've dated?" Her fingers gripped the comforter of the bed and her teeth clenched together behind her closed mouth. "Including the guy in the picture."

"Including him? Like I said. I don't know…I dated three other guys. One was murdered a couple weeks into our relationship, and the other two moved away saying there were 'circumstances' they couldn't control."

"It's a surprise she was even allowed to date. I guess the man had to make it appear like he wasn't controlling every aspect of her life." She loosened her grip on the comforter and looked off to the doorway.

"I've had friends disappear on me too, so yeah, people aren't exactly lining up to talk to me."

Now she knew a little more about the situation she had to face. "I understand." She started to smirk and then turned back to Trina. "Well, I'll be your friend, and I won't disappear. How's that?" Trina's eyebrows rose and the girl started shaking her head in disbelief. "There's nothing Mr. Vega's going to do to cause me to leave."

"I don't think you have a lot of control on that." Trina's lip curled into a smile and her shoulders rose. "But if you want to try, go ahead. I could use a friend, I just don't hold out a lot of hope that it'll last."

"It'll last." She winked at the girl and stood up from the bed. "Trust me, I'm not going anywhere. Now, let's go downstairs and play a hand of poker with those people."

"I don't know-"

"It beats sitting around and watching them." Plus, she still needed to observe and interact with them. Right now she was in observation mode of her research into this criminal and his family. Only when she understood them could she do anything.

Her eyes drifted towards the window and her chest expanded as a lingering feeling of regret came over her. "But before that," she said with a sigh, "I should probably at least talk to Freddie. I don't want him to think I hate him."

"So you do still care about him."

"Yeah." She looked towards the photograph that Trina was still holding onto and pulled her hands up to her hips. "Maybe I wasn't too different with him than you were with that guy-different situation entirely, but still…I thought we had something, held out hope that he was going to be the one to finally make me happy. Despite that he'd been obsessing over our best friend for several years, I felt so stupid when he went right back to obsessing about her…"

"Well maybe he has changed. He's here, not wherever she is, so maybe there is still something there?" Trina was right at that. The least she could do was talk to Freddie. She still wanted him to be safe, so that was her first priority.

Although knowing him, she wasn't going to be able to keep him from involving himself if he wanted to involve himself.

So any thoughts and observations at this point? Come one, come all, I'd love to hear your input