Chapter Summary:
The morning after.
Take a day off, you two. Go skinny dipping or something.
Nyla opened her eyes with a waking sigh, and it took a few sleepy moments to get her bearings. The smell of food wafted to her and she sat up, clutching the blanket to her chest. She scanned her surroundings. The sun, hidden behind a canopy of trees, left her with the assessment that it was not quite noon. She couldn't remember the last time she slept so deeply.
Zevran, dressed in his light shirt and leather breeches, poked the fire with a stick. He seemed so beautiful to her; concentrating, relaxed, peaceful. For a few moments, their eyes locked and her stomach fluttered. The way he's looking at me right now-
"How are you, Nyla?" There was a softness to him, his smile entrancing, and his eyes smiled with joy and relaxation; never had she seen him this way. Beautiful. He stopped poking at the fire and dusted off his hands.
"I feel… rested." She spoke sleepily, moving tickling strands of her hair away from her cheeks. Feeling awkward and vulnerable she wrapped the blanket tight around her, looking for her clothes. She was sore . Hips, thighs, the muscles of her arms so overworked, as well as other parts of her… sweet Maker and Andraste. Startled by the memory of welcoming this man into her body, flesh meeting flesh, sweating, writhing, crying out his name, how he called out her name… sweet Maker.
She frantically searched for the flaws in their choice, finding none, only sweet satisfaction. He approached her and left a soft kiss on her lips. It was too much like a dream she thought she couldn't have.
"Drink. It was a very warm night last night." He spoke playfully, handing her a water skin. She looks as fresh and beautiful as the dawn, he thought, amused by the poetry coming to mind as he looked at her. She opened the skin, tipped it back and braced herself for unpleasantly hot water, surprised to find it chilled, refreshing. She drank the entirety of it.
"The water is cool." She felt so awake, refreshed. She peered around, "My clothes?"
"There is fresh water nearby. Your clothes, I washed all of them. I have been awake for hours, you see," he bit his lip and sighed. "Zevran did not think this through." With a smile, he gestured ' one moment!' and retrieved one of his own shirts from his pack.
She snatched it away with a small smile, cheeks pinked with shyness, and slid it over her head. She felt more relaxed and, 'oh it smells like him,' she inhaled deeply.
"Stay." He pointed at her, running to the fire. He began scooping eggs off of a hot rock onto a small wooden plate. "I found eggs, berries, this land is very generous."
He handed her the dish, eggs, fruit, bread, a bit of meat and cheese, garnished with a sprig of green and a small flower. Smiling as she took it from him, this was his way, as she remembered it. Always happy to cook, always presenting something as beautifully as he could make it. And it was always palatable at the very least.
"Will you eat with me?" Not hungry but not wanting to turn away such a gift, she felt a little overwhelmed and shy. What's the matter, Cousland? You sure weren't shy last night. Her cheeks heated with the thought.
"I only own one plate, my Warden. You have none. I shall eat after."
She beckoned him with a gesture. "Eat this with me. I know I used to eat enough for three, but my Grey Warden appetite is not what it used to be."
"As my Warden wishes." He was grateful she wanted something, and asked him for it.
She picked up some egg, cheese and meat with a bit of bread and offered it to him. He pushed this hand gently away, all the way to her mouth. She ate, smiling with a quivering lower lip and watery eyes. She couldn't find suitable words to express her gratitude, and she couldn't imagine herself being worthy of such sweetness and doting. The food was delicious, and stoked her appetite.
So silent. Not that he minded, after all, it was a beautiful silent moment. He reached out a hand and rested it on her knee, stroked her with his thumb as she fed them. Seeing those breasts beneath his shirt, which pleased him more than he cared to admit, he cleared his throat and commanded his eyes to stay on her face. Not her breasts, or her thighs, or that exposed shoulder. But last night was...
"Do you regret it?" He asked gently, holding the possibility of hearing her say yes. He felt calm. He hadn't expected things to go in that direction, especially as quickly as they did. It wouldn't have surprised him at all if it scared her.
"No, Zev, of course not." The question was jarring and her heart felt like it might melt away. She felt so soft for him, met his eyes and held his attention. "It was beautiful… abrupt, and I don't know what we're doing. I thought perhaps... maybe you have some thoughts?" Asking felt a little scary, as she didn't know what she would do with any answer. "I tend to overthink things and-"
"We don't need to have an answer so soon." He spoke after a few moments of thoughtful silence, "Let us keep enjoying each other, yes?"
With a sly smile, she fed him the last berry, her index finger tenderly brushing his lower lip as she pulled her hand away. He treasured this gesture with a soft sigh, took the empty plate from her and set it aside.
"Yes. Perfect." She whispered, sighed, feeling relieved and unburdened. Her brow furrowed as it dawned on her how it wasn't simple at all. Suddenly, Nyla wanted very much to talk about what they are doing. "Wait, you said last night, when you... you said you had never-"
Chuckling at her as she floundered, seeking words, he scrubbed his face, cringing at the memory. So vulnerable, needy and at her mercy, not as in control as he typically was in sexual encounters.
"Ah! You're still overthinking. Now… the meaning of that... eludes me." He struggled. It was still a jumble of confusion. As she slept, it was on the forefront of his mind, simultaneously troubling and pleasing. "If I may be completely honest with you, there are mysteries within myself that occur, and unfold as I am with you. This has always been the case, if memory serves."
"Really?" Her eyes went wide, curiosity piqued. He learns about himself when he is with me and I… want that… "I like that, Zevran," she spoke softly, awestruck, feeling closer to him. She loved when he told her his secrets. Her heart could burst. Having a desire to pry more from him, she dismissed it in service of his comfort. He seemed edgy, on high-alert, perhaps even afraid. Nyla let it go, smiled for him, stroked his cheek with her fingertips. "Keep me updated then, will you? If this mystery unfolds."
"As you wish." He withheld a pleased chuckle. "Right now, we bathe." He stood, whisked her up in his arms and began walking.
"I can walk." Despite her weak protestation, she rested a cheek on his shoulder and relaxed, feeling a twinge of joy at this touch.
"Not without shoes."
"You're not wearing shoes either." she crooned, with a kiss on his jaw; it felt so easy. So sweet. How she missed sweetness.
"Mmhmm." He nuzzled his cheek against the top of her head, tingling warmth spreading through his chest. "Elves are not supposed to, so I have heard."
"Zev, you haven't asked where we are going, or what we are up to." Her arm wrapped around his neck and her fingers carded through his hair.
"Mmm. This is true, but regardless of where you are going, I follow." His arms stiffened beneath her, as if trying to hold her closer.
"I'm glad, but you may not actually like where we're going."
"Perhaps. But why feel troubled with you by my side? There is no need to talk about this now. Today is for resting. Swimming instead?" He stopped walking and let her down gently, her feet landing on soft earth.
"Okay, but where do you think I'm taking us?" Nyla felt stifled by not talking about it, and didn't understand why he wouldn't want to.
"East, dear Warden." Reaching behind her, he untied her braid and ran his fingers through, loosening it. "And I trust you. Trust me, relax, just for today. "
Reveling in the sensation of his fingers gently scrubbing her scalp, her eyes closed. "Well, you're not wrong." She sighed, opening her eyes to look out at the expanse of water. "Ah. Shit." She looked down at her feet. Already she felt the water encompassing her, covering her face and invading her mouth and nose, the blur and blindness of being submerged with no way know what's up or down- "Shit."
"The Hero of Ferelden is still afraid of water." He chuckled at her and pulled off his shirt.
"Don't…" She sighed and shook her head with a chuckle. "Don't pick on me and strip at the same time."
"No?" Zevran pulled off his pants unceremoniously. "You will do something about it? Chase me perhaps?" He walked into the water and submerged himself completely.
"I might." She pouted, moved to take off Zevran's shirt and suddenly felt nervous, having no smalls on beneath. Placing a foot in the water, wishing it wouldn't ripple so, she became frustrated, flustered. Shit. You don't know what's in there, how deep it is. Zev is swimming in it just fine. Be like Zev. Fuck. Her frustration was building. Cousland, get in that water and go after the naked man. That helped her gain a little momentum. "I see fish!" She pulled her foot back out, hopping around for a moment to shake off a sudden onset of jitters.
"I will cook one for you, yes?" He emerged from the water pushing wet hair from his face with a sweep of his hands. Waist deep water flaunted the muscular V of his hips and a subtle trail of blond hair; she felt teased. When she stood there stock still and staring, he prodded her again with a knowing smirk. "Warden, how do you survive this wayfaring lifestyle if you cannot bathe in a lake?"
"I bathe in lakes, I just don't usually have handsome elves tracking my every move." She crossed her arms. "You're making me nervous. I take it slow. Concentrate on something that isn't a mysterious body of water filled with any number of atrocious things and... random deep spots to slip into."
"You think I'm handsome." He rested his hands on his hips.
"Clearly. And you know you are. With those ears." Blushing, she averted her eyes as he stepped out of the water with agility and grace that only stood out to her more at beholding his nudity. Water dripped from him, making her feel thirsty, and… grabby. She cleared her throat nervously. "And now you're naked," she licked her bottom lip, "and... wet."
"I do not understand. You speak as if complaining, but you are drooling a little." With a smile, he reached down and ran fingers gently up her thighs, hips, her waist, pulling the shirt up and over her head, leaving her naked before him. She inched toward him.
"I know what you're trying to do." Heat flooded her cheeks and she smiled shyly, nibbling her lip.
"What am I doing, then?" he smiled, his hands wandering her shoulders and back.
"Well, either trying to distract me and help me get in the water," she stepped closer to him, her arms draping over his shoulders. "or seduce me."
"Multitasking." Walking backward, he guided her into the water with him one step at a time. "Maker's breath, how many times did I bite you last night?" Marvelling at the many bite marks on her shoulders and neck, he felt a little proud of himself. Zevran had marked her. With his mouth. He counted aloud slowly, "One… two..." tilting her chin, "three…" gentle fingers touching an elegant throat, "four… five… I am terrible."
"They don't hurt." She shrugged, feeling cool water reach her thighs. This was a very elegant and effective distraction, she had to admit. "I don't mind it."
"You don't mind it, or you enjoy it?" he asked playfully. He stopped walking when the water barely covered her breasts. Cupping the water with hands, he doused each of her shoulders, massaging them. Skilled fingers rubbed the base of her skull making her sigh and stretch her neck. The water felt perfect, as did his touch. She sighed in contentment, noting a creeping anxiety of trying to accept, and relax under the ministrations which seemed too good for her.
"I think…" she finally spoke after deliberating, "I like it, and I consider it an acceptable expression of desire while we are-" he interrupted her with a kiss. This fulfilled the curiosity he did not know he had; she was accepting him as her lover. Which meant they would do it again, so why not get started?
Overjoyed that they were not limited to one overwhelmingly passionate night, he suddenly felt incredibly relaxed with her. His cock responded almost as loudly as his heart. Immediately so hard for her, he was going to do so many things to her. With his hands, his mouth, he wanted to take her in every position, bend her over every surface, indulge in every part of her.
"Ah!" she held onto him tightly as he bit her neck, and she laughed. "Not here, Zev."
"And why not?" He asked playfully, kissing her throat, resuming with more vigor as she wrapped her legs around him. It still felt so unreal, she was in his arms, laughing, receiving his kisses, the folds of her sex brushing the tip of his cock.
He could see her underlying sadness, Nyla was hurting most of the time, but he knew he could help her find happiness again; this just made him want her even more.
"We're in the- Maker's breath," she whimpered, his tongue brushing a sensitive place on her neck near the hollow of her throat, "We're in the water. Our camp is vulnerable."
"Valid concerns." He lifted his head breathlessly to nibble her jaw. "I promise to last only as long as you do, and you will find the buoyancy of sex in the water quite fun, if you give it a-"
She cut him off with a kiss, pulling him closer, pressing her breasts against his chest, knowing it was something he greatly enjoyed. He hummed his appreciation, feeling her hips writhe against him. He loved it when his Warden spoke with her hips, and he pressed her slowly onto his length; she was so wet for him, and he moaned.
"Maker... you're... so hard." she panted, enjoying this aspect of his virility. So hard, ready, movements strong and forceful and he hit all the right places. She could feel him wanting her, and every part of him felt as though it was made just for her; soft heart, firm, sculpted body, smooth skin, perfect lips and those ears . She could absolutely purr, imagining the entirety of him.
Hands firmly squeezing the soft flesh of her ass, he bounced her rhythmically up and down the length of him. Through heavily lidded eyes and gritted teeth he watched her; her head tilted back, lips parted, brow furrowed, whimpering at every down-stroke as she is wont to do in the throes of pleasure.
"Zev." She whispered, meeting his eyes. He loved his name on her lips, sounding through her breath; such a perfect sound. She peppered kisses on his neck, his jaw, nipping his lips. "Let's play a game, Zev." She kissed him softly, nipping his lower lip. "You receive. Let me give to you."
Zevran reveled in the way it felt for her to speak those words; inclusive and inviting. He let out a breathy moan against her mouth. She wanted to give to him? That's not how it works. Zevran takes pleasure, he gives pleasure; he does not receive.
He answered her with a kiss, she wrapped her legs strategically around the backs of his knees and rolled her hips in the most glorious way. Full, slow strokes which tickled and teased him, made him shudder, her name rolling off his tongue. He felt that urge again, to sink his teeth into her soft flesh, but the way she held him and moved, he could only stand there, moaning with his lips on hers, hands stroking and grasping wherever they wandered.
He pulled her closer to himself, to feel her breasts pressed against him. Hands wandered over her shoulders, down her arms, groping her as if seeking something to hold onto. Nyla loved every held breath, every moan and whimper, and she wanted to hear every sound he could make.
"What do you like?" She whispered. Trailing wet kisses in a line from the corner of his mouth to his strong jaw to perfect ears, she nibbled gently. She quivered in response to the deep moan it coaxed from him."You liked that." She purred, nibbling his ear a little harder, a little farther up; she had discovered his weakness. "Beautiful…" Nyla purred as he moaned and his body subtly stiffened.
"Nyla…" He wanted to tell her to stop before it's too late, but his breathy growl only encouraged her. His lusty groans made her skin tingle all over and her breath catch in her throat. Zevran was at her mercy, her pace, each slow stroke coaxing him toward completion and it was beautifully torturous. Feeling her gripping, squeezing his cock, drawing his orgasm from him, he moaned so loud for her.
"Ahhh… yes." Her breathy words crooned as she bobbed gently in the water, feeling him grow harder, expand and pulse inside of her.
Shuddering, holding her tightly through the tumult, he saw stars behind his eyelids. His heart was full to bursting and he felt so tired, ready to drift off to sleep in her arms. He heard her through the ringing of his ears, sweet sounds making him chuckle and smile with bliss.
"You're right, Zevran. Lake sex is beautiful, buoyant, and your perfect ears are an erogenous zone." Her internal world was brimming with unadulterated excitement at the thought of perfect ears between her teeth, under the soft caress of her tongue, a gentle sweep of her fingertips.
"Mmm. My perfect ears are ringing." He smiled, inhaling sharply at the sensitivity of his softening length slipping out of her, the water cool in contrast to her warmth. When he opened his eyes, feeling so relaxed, the color in the world seemed very bright to him. Including her. Smiling, with flushed cheeks, a heaving bosom and looking exceptionally pleased. "You next," he purred playfully.
"Not yet." She smiled, loving the sensations of lust pulsing through her body. She wanted to feel it longer; heat between her thighs, hands longing to touch, mouth craving the taste of him.
Using him as her anchor, she wrapped her legs around his waist. She let her arms go free and stretched, slowly falling backward into the water. For the first time in so long she felt completely unburdened. Her mind felt still, her heart full, and nothing mattered aside from this moment.
The water felt perfect on her skin, she pushed thoughts of fish, bugs and slimy plants out of her mind with such ease. Floating, her eyes taking in birds flitting among emerald-green foliage against a blue sky, she listened to underwater sounds; peaceful, pulsing. Surrounded by life and beauty, her body still hummed with desire, her heart beating strong, breath becoming even and relaxed. Zevran's hands caressed her legs, her stomach, and rested on the small of her back helping her float effortlessly. His touch felt so comforting, letting her know he was there. So alive. So safe . The corners of her mouth set into a small, contented smile, eyes bright. Such beauty.
If my life could just feel like this moment forever-
And in a flash of one horrific vision, it was gone, and Nyla was left stunned and shaken.
"Nyla?" she heard his voice carry through the din of watery sounds. He helped her up, her face once so bright and alive had fallen, her affect gone flat. Striking, how it stood out to him as she shifted back into darkness, to feel his own heart crying out to her so loudly. He pulled her protectively against his chest, missing her already. Holding her head, he pressed her face into his neck. "Nyla, what happened?"
"I'm okay." She clung to him, placing her feet on the lake floor, closing her eyes to see the faces of everyone she loved and lost. 'Make him wrong, Pup. See that justice is done.' Howe was long gone, but justice didn't make the memories go away. "I'm okay."
Maker, help me, I'm going to lose it all again. I'm just going to lose him.
Nothing about her spoke that she was okay, except her words; of course he did not believe her. The strain in her voice, the tremble of her hands as she clung to him. As long as she allowed him to hold her, he would never feel helpless.
The water gently trickling down my arms, the beat of my heart. The… ground… She lifted her head and looked out on lake, her heart sinking hard and fast, making her feel so lost. Empty. I can't do this.
It seemed so easy, in theory. Let go of Zevran, who was rapidly becoming the very center of her world, and walk away. Toward the center of the lake. She looked at him and her heart ached fiercely. He was watching her closely, eyes soft and compassionate. His gentle hand cradled her jaw, Nyla felt utterly transparent and she was not afraid to let him see her.
"I am with you," he whispered, holding her gaze. "I have you."