Dangerous Journey

Disclaimer: Don't own iCarly

A/N:

Chapter 5 (Past Her Defenses)

Sam and Freddie sat on the porch steps outside the Vega home. It was a quiet moment, and Sam was trying her best not to look at him for fear of becoming attached. "You understand I can't tell you exactly." He was still trying to get her to tell him what was going on, but she was too nervous to let him get involved in something that she knew was dangerous.

"It isn't like anything's going to happen to me, Sam." Yet she didn't know that. David seemed like he had meticulously planned everything-anyone that got close to Trina was now gone-and Sam could be one of those people. Then, anyone close to her could be targeted. "Listen, I already know it's not something that's safe, so I'm not going to stop worrying about it."

"It isn't entirely up to me." She put her hand to her chest and leaned back. "Spencer needs it to be on the down-low. If certain people got wind of what I was doing here, things would be chaotic."

"I don't understand." She frowned and shot a sideways glance at him. He hunched forward and clasped his hands between his knees, then bent his forearms up to perch his chin on his hands. "If it's so dangerous, then why does Spencer want to involve you? Why is he asking you to risk life and limb?"

"Maybe because he knows I will." He needed someone to get in and find out who David was-or why David did what he did. He needed somebody to get in and get Trina out without tipping the kidnapper off. "Spencer's working a case, and the only cop he trusts is your dad."

At this point, John may be perfectly aware of what was going on. It could be an ongoing and covert investigation and she was just being used as a pawn to get close to Trina and investigate David. After all, she did have to let Spencer-and Mr. Benson-know what she found.

"This is just something that Spencer and Carly are relying on me for."

"It doesn't exactly sound like something Carly would want you to be involved in." She shrugged and looked across the street without a word. "She doesn't want you doing whatever it is you're doing, does she?"

"It's not her call to make, though. It's not yours either."

"But at least help me understand what it is that's so important. Why is this important to you? You and I, we've done a lot for the Shay's, and I think we'd still do just about anything…but Sam, isn't there a point where your own life should come first?"

"Yes, but you don't understand. This thing I'm doing for them, it isn't something so small that I can just say no to them." She crossed her arms and looked towards Mr. Benson's car. "It isn't like I'm trying to hide anything from you, Freddie. The less you know, the less you're involved, the better."

Her head rolled to the right and her eyes darted over to him. "Besides. Why would you choose now to start caring?" His lips flattened into a thin line and he furrowed his brow.

"I never stopped caring, Sam. I still care about you. You're the one that won't let me explain-"

She brought her hands to the sides of her head and threw them out in an angry huff. "God, explain what?" Her eyes narrowed on him and her lips curled into an angered sneer. "Explain how you led me on? How you told me you loved me and then went right back to obsessing over Carly? Did you ever actually mean anything we shared?"

"Yes! I meant everything." She jerked back as his voice snapped into the air. Her heart pulsed suddenly and she lowered her hands to her lap. Freddie closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. "Look. I thought we were both moving on, or trying to anyway. Carly's still a friend of mine, and I was concerned for her from time to time-"

"But that day, in the restaurant Gibby and I were dealing with…" She looked down and quieted her voice. "The look in your eyes was more than just friendly concern, and then you looked at me like you were asking permission to go after her. I wasn't over you yet, so to see you jumping right back to your old feelings for Carly…did you think that wasn't going to hurt?"

"Sam, I'm sorry." She leaned her head back and her shoulders fell. The air around her heated up, and she closed her trembling hands then pushed them between her legs. "Sam, I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted to do that. I didn't intend to lead you on."

Her eyes were welling up with tears, so she turned her head away. She ran her hand over her left arm and pursed her lips. "It still hurts. For the longest time I felt like you were leading me on, that you never cared about me and just wanted Carly…You know, there are people who say if you're interested in a girl, go after her friend first."

"I wouldn't do that, Sam."

"We had a good thing, I still don't know why we broke up. I think it was because of something Carly said, wasn't it?" He dropped his head and shrugged. She knew most of the girls Freddie dated, all the way back to Valerie Williams, he dumped them because of Carly. In Val's case, both of them convinced him to dump her.

"If I really mean anything to you, you're not going to prove it by talking and telling me how sorry you are."

"What do I have to do, Sam? Tell me, and I'll do it."

"I don't know." She heard a creaking sound and turned in time to see the door slide open. David stepped into the doorway and peered down at them with curious eyes. "Mr. Vega, hey."

The muscles in her body tensed, and a shiver ran down her spine. "I wasn't aware you were still here." Freddie looked from her to David and his eyebrows started to rise. "Everyone is still inside playing poker. Is this a friend of yours? Does he know my girls?"

"No he doesn't," she answered with a start. While Freddie did know Tori, she wasn't about to let David onto anything. "He's just been following me around." David's eyebrows curled together and his eyes drifted to Mr. Benson across the street.

"Ah Chief Benson." David smiled and waved at the man. John returned the gesture and crossed his arms over his chest. "Is this your boy?"

"Yes," John answered, "He's friends with Samantha."

"I see." A shallowness grew in Sam's stomach, and her throat tightened up as David's gaze dropped down to her. "I'll leave you two alone then, if you're just talking. I was only checking, as Tori wanted to know if you were still going to join them."

"Thank you, sir." He closed the door and Sam relaxed herself. She tucked a strand of hair over her ear and looked back to Freddie. "That man is not a good man." Freddie nodded once and glanced to the door. "I am tailing him for Spencer."

"Oh?"

"It's not safe for you to know everything going on. I-" She stopped for a second, then cleared away the grogginess in her throat. "I don't want anything to happen to you, and the less you know about something the better."

"But why? Why is it so important to Spencer? To Carly? Who is this guy to them?"

"That's where it gets complicated. I'm not sure if it's my place to say." He was going to know eventually; pretty much anyone that knew the Shay family would know. After all, Trina was part of their family. "Mr. Vega is a corrupt cop, from what I can tell, and he seems to know how to manipulate the police, so any investigation on him has to be done discreetly."

"If my dad's in on it, why do they need you?"

"Because there's something Spencer thinks I can do that someone like your dad can't…and that's the thing I can't tell you. Carly or Spencer will have to tell you that." She held her breath, half expecting her statement not to be enough for him.

Freddie leaned back slowly and shook his head. "I guess I can respect that." Her heart rose and she started to smile. "Just try to be safe, okay? I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I will be fine." She folded her hands in her lap and pushed her thumbs against the other. Silence fell around them and she leaned her head back, releasing a soft sigh into the air. "I appreciate your concern Freddie. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad you're concerned."

Freddie smiled back at her and opened his mouth, but held back whatever he was fixing to say. His brow furrowed and he peered down at the pavement. His hand sailed through his hair and he ran it along the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry." She leaned back and raised an eyebrow. Freddie's muscles tensed and he looked to the side. Sam's lips pursed and her body leaned towards him. "All the reason that you're upset with me, I understand, and I know you said words aren't enough, but I'm going to try…you should know first off, I am sorry."

Her heart skipped a beat. His eyes connected with hers and for the moment she felt the air in her lungs evaporate. Freddie reached over, but stopped his hand an inch from hers.

She closed her fingers and let her gaze slide to his arm. "Sam, I-" He pulled his hand back and shook his head. "I know for years it always seemed like I was obsessed with Carly, and-"

"You were…"

His lips closed and Sam turned her head away. She could still feel his gaze, studying her carefully. She heard him take a breath and waited for him to speak up again. "You're right. I was." Her eyes widened and her body began to relax.

Wherever this was coming from, she was happy for it. "I never thought much about it, but coming down here and seeing my dad, he put things in perspective for me…in a way." Her throat tightened and tears began to form beneath her eyelids. "I guess what I was doing back then-watching her through the peephole, following her around and even threatening guys that I thought were a risk-those actions made me look like a stalker to her. In the end, she's not for me."

"Yeah, but now you're on me or something."

"That's just it." Her eyes searched his. The determination and strength in his gaze was enchanting, and try as she might, she couldn't help but to let him take down her guard just for a moment. "I know what I want, and I've grown. I do care for you, I do love you, but if you tell me you never want to see me again, I know when to back off."

"It isn't like that. I just don't want to be hurt again."

"And I know I've hurt you." She closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath of air that she'd been holding on to. "I will stop at nothing to show you what you mean to me, how important you are to me."

"I can't deal with this right now, Freddie." She looked at the front door and tensed when she thought of the possibility that David had security cameras out here. "That man is smart, he's dangerous. If he knew what I was doing, and knew what our connection used to be….he might use that."

"You're the one in more danger than I am. Trust me, and I won't let anything happen to you."

"I don't think you're in a position to control that."

"If it makes a difference-" He smirked handsomely and pointed to his father. "You do know who my dad is. I am staying with him." Sam chuckled once and smiled at Mr. Benson. "I don't think I'm in any danger, and I can certainly do more to help you out if you need me."

He took her hand suddenly and her eyes snapped down to his fingers. She gasped and held her breath, then slowly curled her fingers around him as a soothing warmth passed through her arm. "If you need me at any time, Sam…" Her eyes drifted into his and she froze, unable to tear away from him. . A lump swelled in her throat, rendering speech impossible. "You give me a call, say my name-no matter what, I will be there for you."

"F-Freddie."

"I promise you." She could feel her blood rushing towards her cheeks, heating up in her veins. Sam began to lean towards him, her lips quivered and her eyes dropped towards his lips as an old lingering emotion crept into her heart.

She stopped herself and pulled away from him. "Not here." She stood up and closed her eyes, scolding herself mentally. "I need to get back in, finish up the card game."

Without wasting another second, Sam rushed inside and pressed herself up against the door. Her chest heaved and her gaze darted to Tori and the others. They were staring wide-eyed at her. "Everything okay?" Asked the boy with the puppet.

"Yeah," she replied with a breathless pant. She didn't need anyone to know how she let her guard down just enough that she almost let herself give that man outside another chance. "Everything's fine. Deal me into the next hand?"

"Sure," Jade answered, "Just get yourself over here." She cleared her throat, groomed her hair a bit, then moved for the table. This was the last time she was letting her guard down.

So she let her guard down for a second, can't say there's anything wrong with it. Well, what observations did you make? Let me know your thoughts.