A/N: Oh god, it's been such a long time since I've worked on this. College has been crazy busy and I just kinda forgot this existed, but I'm going to try to update somewhat regularly from now on. I won't be able to give approximate times but hopefully once school is done I'll have more time for this. 9_9

The light of the half-moon bathed the ThunderClan camp in liquid silver. A warm night breeze stirred the trees above the hollow, sending a muted sigh through the air. The camp was still; all of the cats had long settled for the night, save for one cat that sat silently near the camp entrance, keeping watch while the others slept.

A second cat emerged from the rock face of the hollow, leaping soundlessly from a large ledge to the ground. He nodded in acknowledgement to the young silver she-cat on duty. She dipped her head in return as the other cat made his way across the hollow, ginger fur dyed gray in the moonlight. The tom walked with an air of authority, but his thick fur hung loosely around his frame, as though he was too small for his pelt.

The tom pushed his way under a thick bramble bush and into the nursery. The dark gray queen inside raised her head sleepily and managed to meow in greeting before yawning. Her teeth glinted in the dim light as she stretched carefully.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you," the tom meowed quietly. "I just couldn't sleep so I thought…"

The queen twitched her ears and stifled another yawn. "It's fine, Blazestar," she said in a voice rough from sleep. "You're welcome anytime." She moved her tail, revealing the four bundles of fur that she sheltered. Two were very small and were so young their eyes hadn't opened yet. The other two were much larger and clearly older by at least a moon. All four were sleeping soundly.

Blazestar leaned over and gently sniffed each of the larger kits. It hadn't been that long since he'd last seen them, but he could swear they were bigger than the last time he had seen them. In the dim light he could make out their fluffy pelts. The larger of the two had the same ginger fur as Blazestar, the only difference was the kit had dark brown stripes where Blazestar's pelt was pure orange. The second kit's pelt was mottled with black and dark ginger.

"She looks just like her mother," Blazestar meowed, motioning to the tortoiseshell kit. The queen's eyes shone with sympathy.

"She should have known her mother. They both should have," she replied softly.

Blazestar's eyes flashed with pain before he turned away. The queen touched her leader's shoulder softly with her tail and felt him shivering. She didn't bring it up. She knew from experience that the pain would never truly go away, but she was worried about the ginger tom. The light was dim, but she could clearly see that he had lost weight in a very short amount of time. She was sure that Cloudtail was doing his best, but there were some things that even the best medicine cats couldn't heal.

Blazestar was quiet for a few moments before licking the queen's eat gratefully. "That is true, but I couldn't have asked for a better replacement. Raventail would be proud to see you raising her kits in her place, Cinderstorm."

Cinderstorm's eyes widened with shock, and then swelled with gratitude. "I…I don't know what to say," she mewed. "But I can tell you that I will do my best."

Blazestar motioned to the two smaller kits. "Ashkit and Emberkit are doing well," he observed. "I hope Nightkit and Hawkkit aren't causing trouble for them?"

Cinderstorm let out a hoarse purr of amusement; she hadn't recovered from the onslaught of emotions yet. "Not at all. They've only just begun playing and it's not too rough yet, but give them half a moon and I'll have to separate them," she joked.

Blazestar's whiskers twitched. "I'll help you keep them under control," he purred. His gaze wandered to the moonlit hollow. "Forgive me for keeping you awake," he meowed with an apologetic dip of his head. "I just get… nervous when I haven't seen them in a while."

Cinderstorm shook her head sharply and fixed Blazestar with a stern stare. "There's no need to apologize, Blazestar. You're always welcome here; they're your kits, after all." She glanced down at the two kits. "StarClan knows after everything that's happened you could use a little reassurance. And besides," she said as she looked back up to him. "I don't do anything except lay around all day."

The ginger tom opened his mouth to reply, but the sound of urgent pawsteps drew both cats' attention. The ThunderClan leader's ears perked as a long-furred tabby pushed her way through the den entrance. "What is it, Dusklight?"

The tabby she-cat dipped her head in greeting to both cats before fixing her attention on Blazestar. "We have a situation," she whispered to him, speaking softly as to not wake the kits.

Blazestar's heart sank as he nodded in acknowledgement. He meowed a farewell to Cinderstorm and shot one more glance at his kits before following his deputy out of the nursery. Once outside of the den, the ginger tom lookedat Dusklight expectantly.

"I scented ShadowClan a short while ago while hunting," the she-cat meowed. Her amber eyes darkened before she glanced away. "It was near the place where we found Raventail."

Blazestar's fur bristled as a wave of hot rage and fear overcame him. He shook his head and forced himself to think clearly, although suddenly the nighttime air carried the faint scent of blood.

"Was it fresh?" He growled. Dusklight nodded.

"Very. I thought it would be best to return and notify you, at least." She nodded towards the cave that housed the warriors' den. "There isn't time to form a proper search party. By the time it gets there the cat might be gone, if they aren't already."

Blazestar nodded. "You're sure it was one cat?" After Dusklight's meow of confirmation he narrowed his eyes. "A group of two cats will be less likely to be caught, and besides," he added in an attempt at humor, "who would dare challenge the ThunderClan leader and deputy by themselves?"

He had added the last part less for Dusklight's sake and more to distract himself from the memories that threatened to overcome him, but nonetheless Dusklight merely blinked at him.

"Leader and deputy or not, we still need to be careful."

Blazestar sighed inwardly. After Raventail had announced that she had been expecting she had stepped down from her position as deputy. Raventail had recommended Dusklight as her successor for her experience, not her sense of humor. Raventail had always been the one that laughed at his lame jokes.

He realized that he had dug his claws into the sandy ground and forced himself to relax.

"We should head out," he said after an awkward silence. He stood to go, but froze in this tracks as Dusklight's words played through his mind again. Near the same place we found Raventail. He couldn't stop the tremors that shook his body as he realized what that meant.

"Dusklight," he whispered. "How close was the scent to the place where we f-" He broke off and swallowed. "To that place?"

Dusklight's eyes darkened with sympathy as she turned to face him again. "Very."

Blazestar felt his chest tighten. He had planned on never venturing near the place again, and now that he knew he would have to go back to investigate the ShadowClan scent memories again assaulted his mind: blood on the ground, on the leaves, on his paws. A high-pitched keening sound that assaulted his ears, but he couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Not that he cared; he was too transfixed on the sight in front of him. Someone was talking to him, but he couldn't make out what they were saying. It was as if they were talking from a distance-

"Are you alright?" Duskstar's voice dragged him back to reality. Blazestar blinked away the horrific sight in his mind and looked at her through the fog in his mind. Her eyes were full of concern and she had taken a hesitant step toward him.

Blazestar shook himself roughly and scattered the memories, but still the scent of blood remained. "I'm fine." He was too distracted by the turmoil in his head to ask Dusklight why she had been hunting in the middle of the night. The two cats pushed past the guard and through the thorn tunnel, leaving the camp in silence once again.

Blazestar barely noticed the trees flying past as wave after wave of memories threatened to overcome him. Half a moon had passed since the tragedy, yet still it haunted every moment of Blazestar's life. He remembered the day as though it had just happened, as much as he wished he could forget. He tried to remember Raventail before; when they were younger and her eyes had been full of stars and gleamed with all the greens in the forest and the black and gold in her pelt had shimmered like sunlight through the trees and the sound of her voice laughing in his ear and her scent twining with his and the raw wildness of her movements and the flash of her fangs and her eyes glowing with the heat of battle, but all that came to his mind were flashes of what had happened then and all he could see was her beautiful pelt nearly torn to shreds and her eye staring sightlessly into the sky and what was left of her face twisted in pure agony and her scent gone under the stench of blood, the blood that was splattered on the ground and on the trees and on him, it was on his paws and his fur and his face and it was so sticky, it wouldn't come off and he felt like he was drowning-

He nearly crashed into Dusklight as she came to an abrupt halt in front of him and hissed under her breath. He came to a rather unceremonious halt behind her, but managed to stay quiet by some miracle. He dropped into a crouch beside her and tried to shake his head clear.

"I can smell them, but I can't see or hear them," Dusklight growled softly, twitching her ears. Blazestar tested the air and half-expected the faint stench of blood on the air, but all he could smell was the equally rank scent of ShadowClan.

"We'll split up," Blazestar murmured. His eyes flicked around the undergrowth, marking out areas where they could most stealthily get around. He pointed with his tail to a thick bramble where Dusklight's dark pelt would be nearly invisible. "Make your way over there and see if you can't sniff them out. I'll go around the other way towards those ferns and see if they're over there. Once you find them, figure out who they are and if you feel that they aren't too much of a threat, yowl for me and chase them off. If it's more than one cat, come back towards me and we'll retreat until we can get a patrol. I'll do the same if I see anyone."

Dusklight nodded and in the dim light he thought he saw a flash of relief in her eyes, and to his surprise he felt the same. It was almost as though he was reverted back to his old self, but he knew it wouldn't last long, especially considering where they were. The dark she-cat glanced to the bramble, and then curled her lip. "You're making the long-furred cat squeeze in there?" She meowed quietly. "Are you trying to pluck me bald?"

Blazestar turned to her with wide eyes, and almost snorted when he saw a gleam of mischief in his deputy's eyes. "Did you just…make a joke?" He asked incredulously, mindful of his volume. "Who are you and what have you done with Dusklight?"

The she-cat rolled her eyes and disappeared into the undergrowth. Dusklight had been his deputy for several moons now and had been a warrior for many before that, and he still marveled at the way such a big cat could vanish silently into the forest. Not for the first time, he thanked Raventail for suggesting that Dusklight be her successor as deputy and started making his own way through the underbrush.

He had expected to be reduced to a shivering mess upon arriving at the place where Raventail had died, but to his surprise he felt more like his old self than he had since that terrible day. He supposed it was the prospect of action that made the dirt feel like it was vibrating under his paws and kept the memories at bay, and he was thankful for it. If he wasn't able to lead as he should he might as well retire which, honestly, was something he had been considering the past few days. He had even talked with Cloudclaw about journeying to the Moonpool, but even in his state he knew that that was not a decision to be made lightly.

Blazestar narrowed his eyes as a faint movement drew him out of his thoughts. He froze, thankful for the thick bush he happened to be under, and turned his head towards the source of the movement. For several moments, nothing happened and the ginger tom started to relax, thinking it must have been a sleeping creature stirring in the forest. Just before he started to move on, however, a dark shape slid out of the undergrowth a few fox-lengths away from him, eyes gleaming in the darkness.

Fox-dung! He spat in his mind and shrank further into the bush, hoping the aroma of leaves would mask his own scent. The cat was large, though not as large as Dusklight, and in the darkness he thought he could make out a tabby pelt, although he couldn't be sure. He bunched his hindquarters and prepared to attack, but just as he started forwards a smaller cat stepped out behind the first one. He nearly jumped, and as it was he had to put a paw down hard to stop his forward momentum, and cursed his luck when it landed on a twig. It was thick enough that it didn't snap right away, but it shifted just enough to make noise.

Blazestar didn't dare move as both cats looked in his direction. The second cat was partially hidden behind the first one, but even then he could easily make out a white pelt in the darkness. He narrowed his eyes. He hadn't known ShadowClan had a white warrior. The only one he could think of was Birchfoot, but last he heard was the cat had been killed by rogues a few moons ago. He supposed it was possible that the cat could be a new apprentice, but even with their small stature they seemed far too big to be that young.

A sudden familiar yowl ripped through his thoughts. The two cats snapped their heads around towards the sound, and almost before he could blink they had gone. He spat every curse he knew as he bolted after them. If Dusklight had yowled for him, she must've found a lone cat. They must have been part of a group if they were so close to each other, and now it was him and Dusklight against at least three cats, unless her yowl had drawn others in that he hadn't seen. He hadn't considered the fact that the cats might be separated and he cursed his stupidity.

Thankfully Dusklight hadn't been far from him, and within a few heartbeats he broke into the small clearing. He took in the scene in an instant: Dusklight was on the other side locked in battle with a cat several times smaller than her, and she appeared to be winning. The two cats Blazestar had been chasing were charging towards here, and even with Dusklight's skills she would be no match for three cats at once.

Blazestar let out the loudest screech he could manage and launched himself at the two cats before they could reach his deputy. He easily knocked the smaller cat away and threw himself onto the larger tabby as the cat turned to face him. He sank his claws into the cat's shoulders and felt a savage rush of pleasure as the cat screeched in surprise and pain. Blazestar had the advantage; the cat hadn't been prepared for him and they both went tumbling to the forest floor with Blazstar on top. He raked his hind claws down every bit of the cat's body he could reach, and the cat struggled against his grip. He tightened his hold and ignored the cat's attempts to claw him.

"You should have known better than to come here," he snarled into the tabby's ear as he opened another gash in the cat's side. The cat finally succeeded in throwing him off and scrambled away.

Blazestar turned to check on Dusklight, and was met with a white blur as the smaller cat attacked. The ginger tom tried to swipe at the cat, but his claws passed harmlessly through fur as the cat dodged. He growled and tried again, but the smaller cat was too quick and Blazestar was already tiring. He felt a wave of confusion, but as the smaller cat bowled him over he came to a horrifying realization: he had paid a price for his days spent wallowing and had lost most of his strength. He writhed under the cat and sank his teeth into the white pelt, and was rewarded with a sharp pain in his side. He snarled and tightened his grip, but the cat continued to claw him.

He almost snarled at his situation. The ThunderClan leader had been brought down by a single small cat? He felt a new rush of energy at the thought. He jerked his head and succeeded in unbalancing the white cat and brought his hind legs up to throw them off, but in the confusion a paw slammed into the side of his head.

The ginger tom released the cat involuntarily as his head exploded in pain. He dimly felt the cat's weight disappear and his paws kicked through empty air. He struggled to get to his paws and find his bearings, but as he twisted around he caught sight of a tree on the far side of the clearing. He froze, his breath hitching in his throat.

This is the place, he realized through his muddled thoughts. The stench of fresh blood hit his nose, whether it was his own or another cat's he did not know, and instantly his head was overrun with images of that tree, the tree where they had found her with her body opened like a piece of fresh-kill and with blood dripping down the bark, how did it even get up there what had they done to her, the crying of the kits when they had returned, even though they were too young to understand what had happened, the kits who would be raised without their mother to guide them, the kits-

Blazestar's mind snapped into focus. The kits. He swarmed to his paws with a hiss of fury. His kits had already had their mother stolen from them, and he refused to let them grow up without a father as well. The white cat sensed the change in his behavior and hung back, watching him cautiously. Blazestar got his first good look at the cat, and what he saw surprised him. The cat appeared to be a she-cat – although he wasn't certain – and their fluffy white pelt severely contrasted their savage fighting style. If he hadn't already been fighting the cat, he would have never guessed the cat could be so quick. With a grudging respect he guessed that the cat used their pelt and small stature to their advantage and won most fights before they had even begun.

The cat dropped low again and Blazestar prepared for the stack, but before the cat could move a dark shape loomed up behind them. A large paw smacked the white cat away and amber eyes flashed dangerously as the cat scrambled to their paws. Faced with the combined power of the ThunderClan leader and deputy, the cat backed away and disappeared into the undergrowth.

Blazestar scanned the area for more cats, and relaxed as he didn't see any, but couldn't quite suppress the shiver as his eyes passed the tree. If Dusklight noticed, she didn't say anything.

"We should get back to camp," the she-cat grunted. In the dim light Blazestar could see the matted fur on her shoulder, but if it was blood the she-cat was doing a marvelous job of ignoring it. Blazestar ignored the stabbing pains in his own side. His head swam slightly, but he hoped it was left over from the blow he took to the head and not from blood loss. Still, he couldn't help but feel a flash of guilt as he saw what his blunder had resulted in. If only he had realized that the cats might be split up instead of in one big group, they could have avoided this mess. He curled his lip.

I should have just brought the patrol in the first place, he growled to himself. Dusklight noticed his expression and fell into step beside him as he slowly crossed the clearing.

"Is there something wrong?" She meowed. He glanced at her, eyes roaming over her shoulder and a cut over her eye he hadn't noticed before.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?" He asked. "Let's just get back to camp and get Cloudclaw to take a look at us." He twitched his whiskers as he caught sight of a few new patches of missing fur in her pelt. "I guess that bramble really did have it out for you," he joked. It felt good to have at least a little humor, but as the tree loomed in the corner of his eye it died, to be replaced by cold guilt. He ignored Dusklight's indignant meow and continued.

"I'm sorry for this," he said quietly. "I should've known that they would have spread out. It's my fault we got in this mess, so let's just get back."

He walked for a few more tail-lengths before he realized that Dusklight had stopped and was standing still where he had left her. "Are you coming?" He asked as he glanced over his shoulder, ignoring the protesting pain in his side.

The dark she-cat didn't more or answer. He felt a flash of concern and his mind dredged up more dark thoughts. What if her shoulder wound is worse than I thought? What if she won't be able to make it back to camp? He felt the cold tingle of fear run down his spine. Losing Raventail had been the worst experience of his life, and the thought of losing his deputy petrified him. He hurried back to where she was standing with her head bowed. "Are you alright?" He asked as he drew nearer to her, scanning her pelt for any wounds he might have missed.

She meowed something quietly, so quietly he couldn't make it out. He leaned forwards, and as he did he thought he heard something in the forest around them. Before he could turn his head, Dusklight looked up and fixed him with an unreadable gaze. "It wasn't your fault," she whispered.

Blazestar had been leader for many moons and a warrior for many more before that, and he was experienced enough to feel danger in the air before something happened. It had saved him before many times, but as his deputy lunged forward and sank her teeth into his throat he didn't feel even a hint of warning. He didn't have time to react, and by the time he realized what had happened it was too late. The she-cat released him and he sank to the forest floor, his legs no longer able to support a body that felt much too heavy.

Above his own rasping breaths he heard Dusklight's whisper. "Forgive me," she meowed, her amber eyes swimming with sadness. Blazestar dimly wondered how many lives he had left; as the memory escaped him he supposed it didn't matter now. He thought about the two kits in the hollow and felt an overwhelming sense of sadness; not for himself but for them. Despite his best efforts it seemed it was their destiny to grow unguided; his thoughts briefly flickered to Cinderstorm. He knew that she would do her best, but he knew that she would be no replacement for their birth parents.

He thought he saw shadowy shapes slinking around the edges of his vision, but with the creeping darkness he wasn't sure. The only thing that he could focus on were Dusklight's amber eyes. He wasn't sure if it was his mind going in his last few moments, but they seemed to glow brighter and brighter as everything turned dark.

Just as everything felt like it was going to slip away, a familiar scent washed over him. Blazestar felt a wave of happiness more intense than any he had ever experienced, and out of the darkness a black and gold pelt appeared, and in that moment she looked more beautiful than she had in life. Her eyes glowed brighter than Dusklight's and in moments they were all he could see, almost blinding in their intensity. Her voice cut through the silence that had surrounded him and his pain disappeared as though it had never been.

"I've missed you."

Blazestar felt more peaceful than he ever had, and with a quiet sigh he surrendered himself to the light.