Dangerous Journey

Disclaimer: Don't own iCarly

A/N:

Chapter 9 (Responsibility to Carry)

Sam and Sasha met up at a coffee shop for some downtime from the busy day. She was tired from her online studies, and Sasha had just finished teaching her class. "There is a reason he doesn't want to tell Carly." The woman's hands wrapped around the Styrofoam cup and the left side of her mouth sank.

"Well why? Shouldn't Carly know?"

"Spencer isn't exactly fond of being the product of an affair." Sam looked down to her cup and dropped her shoulders. "We already blamed ourselves for what happened to his little sister and his mother, so just the thought of this being because of him is a lot for him to handle." Sasha's lips pursed and her eyes closed. "He obsesses with his guilt, and then he pushes people away."

Her eyes turned towards the woman and her nose scrunched into her face. "Is that what happened between the two of you?" Sasha released her cup and moved her hand up to her arm, rubbing it gently. Her eyes dropped to the opposite side and her lips spread a centimeter apart.

"I love that man, I always have and I always will. I didn't want to leave."

"So why did you?"

Sasha's eyes flickered back to Sam. Her hand slid away from her arm as though she were pushing it away with her deep sighs. "It's really a long story." Sam shrugged and looked around the café.

"I've got time." She was too curious now to leave it alone, and after her conversation with Spencer, she honestly didn't feel like having any information left out that could prove beneficial to know. "He misses you." Sasha turned up a smile and her shoulders rose like mountain peaks.

"I'd go back to him if he would take me. The thing is, I don't know if he wants that." Sam's leaned back slowly, startled by the woman's words. She couldn't fathom why Spencer wouldn't want Sasha back. "He's the one that told me to leave, Sam."

"What? Why?"

Sasha folded her hands on the table and stared down at them. Her eyes glazed over and her fingers slid inwards. "It's hard to explain. I think he felt responsible all his life for losing his little sister, and then his dad told him about the affair, and I tried to support him through his grief."

Her fingers laced together and she brought them up to perch her chin on her knuckles. "So what happened?" She furrowed her brow and tightened her lips.

Sasha took a sip of her coffee and then rose from the table. Sam dropped her hands and stood with her. "Come with me, okay?" Sasha started for the doors and Sam followed her without question until they reached the car.

Sam entered the passenger side and remained silent as Sasha walked around the front. The woman wiped away the streak of tears on her cheeks and she thought for a moment that Sasha was trembling.

"He became distant," Sasha revealed upon entering the vehicle and starting it up. The woman set her purse down between the front seats and shifted the gear into drive. "Not so much distant as he was obsessed with trying to find his sister-and I supported that."

Her eyebrows bounced and she looked out the passenger window with a sigh. The scenery began to move and the car pulled out of the parking space. "He still is trying to get justice, Sasha. Do you think that would be a problem?"

"No. Not at all. The problem was, he saw himself better alone. He thought himself cursed, I don't know why." Sasha curled her fingers around the steering wheel and her eyes appeared to burn the road ahead. "There came a point of time that he said he was letting me go before he lost me or something. That he loved me but we couldn't be together because he wasn't able to focus on our relationship, it got to a point where all he was thinking about was this guilt he had over what happened to his mother and to his sister."

"He wasn't responsible for it."

"That's what I tried to tell him, but he wouldn't listen to me." Sam shook her head and looked to the passing buildings. She felt the car jerk to the left and turned her head, watching the left turn that Sasha was making. "He ended the relationship, said it was better that we weren't together."

"Did you try talking to him?"

"I did." Sasha came to a stop at a red light and let her hands fall away from the steering wheel. "I told him I'd wait for him, and I did try to contact him later on. He never took my calls, so I stopped trying."

"I wonder if it was as painful for him as it was for you…"

"Maybe, but who can say." She was sorry to hear about the breakup. Part of her knew the couple would be great together if they could just be with one another and move past the individual guilt they had.

To her, she understood it sounded like the majority was on Spencer's end, but she saw the guilt in Sasha's eyes too. The woman was a very active role in the afternoon at that supermarket many years ago, so there was no denying Sasha felt the same amount of guilt and grief as Spencer.

The couple needed to learn how to move on together.

The light changed to green and Sasha started up once more. The woman took a deep breath and turned carefully into a nearby lot. When Sam looked to the building, her eyes froze on the sign.

Little Tykes Daycare

"Wha-" Her eyes widened when she saw a young woman dressed in a business outfit holding a young toddler that couldn't be much older than two. The child had fuzzy brown hair reaching past its chin and wide chestnut eyes.

Sasha left the vehicle and Sam remained inside. Her eyes darted to the rearview mirror where she saw a child seat in the back. "No…" Her heart started racing and her hands trembled excitedly.

As Sasha approached the woman, the child's eyes lit up and his tiny arms extended out as though it were trying to reach its mother. "No Sasha." Sam put her hand to her chest and found herself struggling to breathe as the shock overtook her body. "Don't tell me this is what I think."

Sasha embraced the child with a cheerful smile and let it wrap its tiny arms around her neck. After paying the woman, she approached the back door. Sam continued watching in silence, still processing what was happening.

The woman pulled open the door and gently set the child in the seat. Sam twisted around to look at the kid. Up close she could see it was a girl. The girl's eyes hugged Sam's and her tiny lips opened into a childlike grin.

Once the girl was fastened into her seat, Sasha returned to the driver's side and started up the car without a word. Sam wanted to ask if this was a child she was looking after for someone, but she already knew what the answer would be.

"When did you know?" She asked after Sasha turned out onto the streets. Sasha's body relaxed and a gentle sigh left her lips. "Sasha? When did you know you were pregnant?"

"About three or four months after Spencer and I broke up." Sasha's eyes darted to the mirror and she smiled at sleepy toddler. "Her name is Camille, but I call her Cammy"

"Cammy. She's Spencer's then." Sam pushed her hand through her hair and dropped it to her lap with a sigh. "He doesn't know?"

"He would never take my calls or answer my letters. I have no idea if he knows." She was almost certain Spencer didn't, because he never seemed to portray any knowledge of having a child. At the same time, she felt like he would be there for his daughter if he knew.

"We should tell him. He deserves to know."

Sasha's eyebrow rose and her smile faded. "And then what? Have him reject his daughter like he did me?" Sam opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn't think of a response good enough to say.

The woman's concern was a good one, and while Sam felt like Spencer deserved a chance, she could understand Sasha's fear. "I love that man, Sam, but I won't let him turn his own child away."

"I'm not sure that he would. Besides, god knows that kid could save him."

"How?"

"Maybe he'll stop focusing on this guilt he's got…" Sam bowed her head for a minute, concentrating on the mission she was on. "And another thing? You know his little sister that got abducted?" Sasha slowed down at a streetlight and leaned back in her chair.

"Yep."

"She's a lot closer than you realize." Sasha turned her head and Sam's eyes drifted up into the woman's. A great part of her wasn't sure how to bring it up, but she needed to know that Sasha was at least not beating herself up over Trina's loss too. "You know Trina? Trina Vega?"

"One of my students? Of course."

"Well, she's the one." Sasha's eyes grew and her jaw fell open. Sam looked back to the toddler and closed her eyes. "I think you and Spencer should focus on your daughter first and foremost."

"How do you know?" The woman's voice rose to panicked level and her hands flew up over her mouth. "Are you sure? That's her? How can you be sure?" She took a deep breath and crossed her arms.

"Spencer found her. He found the officer. That's why I'm here, I'm trying to get her out of there."

"It's dangerous!"

"So I keep hearing, but I don't care." She pointed at Cammy and her eyes slanted. "You need to tell Spencer he has a daughter and to take responsibility as a father. Tell him I will work on saving his little sister, tell him Mr. Benson's going to take care of David. One way or another, I'm working on a plan, and you two need to sit back and take care of your baby!"

Sasha dropped her hands to her chest and shook her head while tears began running down her face. "I can't. I'm scared."

"Of what?" She threw her hands up and dropped them back to her waist. "What are you scared of? You think he won't care? Do you think he's just going to decide he doesn't want to be a father? That's not the Spencer I know, and I's certain that isn't the same man you know either."

She was confident Spencer would take responsibility, and one way or another, she was going to make sure he did. "So if you don't do it, I will." Sasha's eyebrows rose and collided in the middle. Her lips pursed and her hands dropped to her lap. "I know you want him to know about his child, Sasha. Come on, you know he deserves to know-and that girl deserves to know her father."

"I…" The car behind them honked its horn and Sasha's head flew to the stoplight. The light was green, so she struck the gas pedal and started down the road. After a minute of silence, the tension in the woman's body subsided and she uttered a single sob.

"You're right. I want him to know. I want him to come and scoop his child up in his arms."

Sam reached over to her shoulder and reassured her with a smile. "Sasha, you can't be afraid, or at least, you can't let that stop you." She knew how it felt to grow up never knowing her father, and it was painful. "Do you really want Cammy to grow up wanting a dad? Never knowing who her dad is?"

"Of course not."

"What do you say we get to your place and we call Spencer up…and we tell him? I'll be right there."

"You will?" A meek smile came over the woman's face and her forehead tightened. "I-I'd appreciate that." Sasha breathed in, then out as she attempted to calm herself. "You said Trina-what kind of plan can you possibly have?"

"I'm just getting to know Mr. Vega, seeing what he's about. He's smart, he's meticulous, but there has to be certain things he hasn't covered." She pulled her hand away and brought it over her chin. "Things he can't foresee. Who could have expected that Tori would date a guy that cheated on her with Carly? He couldn't have seen that coming."

"Right."

"He couldn't have possibly known that Carly and Spencer would bring us to that party Tori and her friends were at last year to confront the guy. That's where Spencer saw Trina, and that's where he recognized David."

"How will you get her away?"

"I don't know yet, but I'm going to find a way. I've just got to outsmart him. If I just straight tell her I know her family and take her, he will come looking for her. I might not even be able to get her out until Mr. Benson can find some way to ensnare Mr. Vega…and that in itself is going to take some serious work. That's why I need you and Spencer to relax. Especially you."

Knowing that she not only had a child of her own, but that she taught martial arts to Trina, she was aware of the possibility for Sasha to panic and try to rescue Trina herself. This could not happen, for everyone's safety.

The most important thing was they needed to handle this one step at a time. Any sudden movements could spell error, and error could spell death.

So, what are your thoughts and your observations here? Do tell, I appreciate your insight