"You can do this, you can do this, you can do this," Blaine repeats over and over as he stares at his own reflection. He leans down to the running tap, cupping some water in his hand and splashing it over his face before standing again, whispering his mantra while he takes a napkin and dries his hands. He hears a toilet flush and waits for Kurt to emerge, watching in the mirror as he walks toward him.
"Talking to yourself," he says with a look which almost matches Blaine's in its nervousness. "Not a good sign. I worried this would send you crazy."
"Yeah." Blaine does a funny little jump on the spot, rolling his neck and trying to release some of the tension. "Just trying to psych myself up a little bit."
"You all set?"
"I guess."
"Positivity is key, Blaine," Kurt says as he holds the door open for him and they step into the foyer of the Symphony Center, their feet echoing as they walk toward the orchestra hall. "Just remember that."
"Yes," Blaine nods as he tries not to think about what is to come. "Christ I feel sick."
"Puke all you want to afterward," Kurt tells him as he takes his hand in his, "but right now you have an audition."
Blaine gives his name to the waiting clerk and is directed to take a seat along with several other candidates who all look as worried as he feels.
"There's so many," he whispers to Kurt. "There was only four last time."
"I guess it's quite a sought after position," Kurt murmurs as he studies the auditionees. "You're by far the hottest though."
"What's that's got to do with anything?" Blaine laughs as he bumps their shoulders together.
"Nothing, but it got you smiling."
"True," he says gratefully.
His name is called quickly- Blaine doesn't know if it's a blessing or a curse to be so high up the alphabetical list- but he stands, smoothing invisible wrinkles from his suit and taking a great shaking breath.
"Okay," Kurt says as he stands and rests his hands on his shoulders. "Just go for it. I'll be here, waiting. I love you, old man."
"You too, gorgeous boy," Blaine says distractedly, picking up his violin case and kissing him quickly on the cheek. "You too."
Kurt feels like he waits forever, pacing restlessly past the door to the auditorium until the clerk points out it's sound proofed and he won't hear anything. After that he sits in his seat, fidgeting and unable to stay still or focus on anything. Ten minutes pass, then twenty, thirty...and finally fifty minutes later, Blaine emerges. His hair has become damp and disheveled, broken free from the tight gel confines Blaine forced it into this morning- which tells Kurt he's been playing with passion at least. His cheeks are flushed, his golden eyes sparkling as he falls into his chair.
"Well I've passed round one," he says, the relief evident in his voice.
"Round one?" Kurt asks incredulously. "That was only one round?"
"Two more to go," Blaine nods. "Sight reading and interview."
They sit in relative quiet as the rest of the candidates take their turns- though Kurt notes with worry that no one takes as long as Blaine does. He doesn't dare voice this, of course, but he can see Blaine has noticed it too from the way he keeps looking at his watch each time the door opens. By the end of the round most have gone, leaving only Blaine and four others. He is called again, the kindly clerk placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder as she ushers him inside, and this time Kurt manages to catch a glimpse of the stage set with several musicians ready to play with him.
He tries to focus on candy crush but his heart's not in it, and he is pleasantly surprised when the door opens after just twenty minutes. But when Blaine emerges, everything in Kurt plummets. He is white and shaking, the tears evident in his eyes as he walks right past Kurt and around the corner, where he hurries to catch him.
"Blaine!"
He stops, leaning against the wall before sliding to the floor and burying his head in his hands. "What is it?" Kurt asks, rushing to kneel at his side, a worried and protective arm going around his back. "What happened?"
"They said they'd seen enough," he says, lifting his head, still looking for all the world like he is going to vomit there and then. "I...I...I played like...half the sight piece and they stopped me. Said they didn't need me to play anymore and they didn't want to interview me either...They offered me the job, Kurt... I got in."
"What?!" Kurt's shriek is loud, ricocheting off the walls as he winces and lowers his tone. "I'm sorry...what? You got in? You really got in?"
"I got in," Blaine repeats. "I'm a member of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra."
"Oh my god!" Kurt laughs. "I knew you could do it, I knew it!"
Blaine still looks dazed and confused as Kurt tries to hug him, and he gives a small shake of his head as if trying to clear his mind for a moment. "I did it," he whispers. "I really did."
"You really did," Kurt agrees with a smile, holding his arms out and this time Blaine falls into his embrace, kissing him fiercely before pulling back with a grin.
"Holy fucking hell Kurt!" he cries, shaking his head again and hugging Kurt tight. "I did it! I'm in!"
"What happened to the rest of the candidates?" Kurt suddenly asks in confusion.
"There were two positions. Second and third violins. I got second but I think they're carrying on with the process to appoint the third."
"What's third violin?"
"Like reserve," Blaine explains. "First and seconds are full time members, thirds are on a rota and called when needed."
"Pah!" Kurt scoffs as Blaine puts his finger to his lips, urging him to be quiet. "Oh my god Blaine I am so happy for you! So, so happy! Who you gonna call first? Your parents or Wes?"
"No one just yet," Blaine says as he stands on still shaking legs and pulls Kurt up. "We're gonna go get coffee and a huge slice of cake and then tonight I'm taking you out to dinner to celebrate."
"Uh-uh," Kurt disagrees. "Coffee and cake, yes. But I'm taking you out tonight, with my money to celebrate the fact that I have the most talented, wonderful, beautiful and all round amazing fiancé the world has ever seen," he grins.
"I don't know about that," Blaine says, suddenly shy.
"Would you be quiet?" Kurt asks, rolling his eyes fondly. "I'm always right, remember? Always. Now, someone promised me coffee and cake."
They head to the nearest Starbucks and Kurt waits on line for their drinks before they settle into seats by the window, still giddy with excitement.
"So...details," Kurt says around a mouthful of cake. "When do you start? What hours? Can you still do advertising work?"
"Umm well I start next week, I have to go in for rehearsals four days a week from eight until one. Yes I can keep my advertising stuff, but I'm going to quit the session work. There doesn't seem any need for me to keep it on, and while I've always enjoyed it, the commercials are much more lucrative and I have to be honest here...I've actually come to feel quite proud of the work I've done."
"You should be," Kurt agrees. "I don't think you need to take too much on though, maybe just keep Kendall's and Webster Evans. Presumably you'll be salaried from the orchestra?"
"Um...yes." Blaine pauses to clear his throat. "Quite well."
"I seem to remember the starting figure was a hundred grand?" Kurt says in as much of an offhanded manner as he can muster.
"Violins earn more. I'll start on..." he stops talking and traces out the digits 125 on the table with his finger.
"I love you," Kurt smiles."did I mention that I love you? I love you. I could also do with some new shoes."
"Yes Kurt," Blaine says, voice weary but eyes twinkling with laughter. "We can go shopping. Again."
"Thank you," he smiles. "So when is your first concert?"
"Two months. But it's only one night here...then it's a tour," he says, face falling into an uncertain frown. "It's just along the East Coast," he adds hastily. "And it's only three weeks."
"Blaine, that's okay," Kurt says as he reaches out to cover his hand with his own. "We knew all this. It's fine."
"You can come with me, you'll be on summer break by then."
"Actually... I'm thinking I might go away myself this summer," Kurt says nervously.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. I was thinking I could audition for a few touring productions. There's lots going on."
"No camp?"
"Well Joe is flying to LA to film that role he got offered in London. He said he could get me a job doing costume work for it, but I can't always be with him. So I figured I might just take this chance to try and get my first professional gig."
"That's wonderful," Blaine beams.
"And we still have our five days with Wes and Kathy in Virginia Beach," Kurt points out. "And of course our week in LA."
"We do," Blaine swallows over the lump that has risen in his throat. "I'll miss you though."
"And I, you," Kurt says as he kisses his hand. "But we need to pursue our dreams."
"We do."
"Wait a minute," Kurt says suddenly, setting his cup back on the table. "East Coast...doesn't that mean New York?"
"Uh...yeah," Blaine nods as he stares at the table. "But I think I'll be okay. It's three nights there...and you know... You made it so much better for me..."
"I'll come with you," Kurt says decisively, cutting Blaine off quickly before he can object. "Whatever happens, whatever job I get I promise you I will spend those three nights with you in New York, okay?"
"But..."
"Don't even begin to object, Blaine Anderson-Hummel to be."
"Hummel-Anderson," Blaine corrects.
"That's what I said. Sort of."
"Thank you," Blaine whispers as his eyes shine with unshed tears. "I didn't want to ask."
"I know you didn't. Which is why I'm telling you."
"Thank you for everything," Blaine says, coming around the table to squash into the armchair alongside Kurt, draping his legs over his and not caring who thinks what about it. "Not just that, but...so much. Especially recently. You made that trip to New York for me, because you were so strong yet so tender and kind. And I wouldn't even have attempted to audition today if it weren't for you railroading me into it," he pauses to smile at Kurt's indignation. "You always know what's best for me, because you keep me in your heart...and I can seriously never thank you enough for that."
"We could have celebratory sex?" Kurt suggests. "That, and some new shoes, might go some way toward expressing your gratitude."
Laughing loudly, Blaine cups his face, leaning up to place a lingering kiss to his lips. "I believe the phrase I'm looking for is 'anything for you.'"
It is three weeks later and Blaine is once again alerted to Kurt's homecoming by the loud slamming of the front door followed by a string of muttered expletives as he moves room to room before eventually finding Blaine at the piano.
"Could you not have told me you were in here?" he huffs by way of greeting. "Instead of sitting there listening to me search the entire apartment?"
"It's not a big place," Blaine says reasonably. "And I am always in here- every afternoon."
"You were out running yesterday," Kurt snaps as he spins on his heel and heads to the kitchen.
"I take it you didn't get it," Blaine says as he follows him down the hall.
"No I didn't get it," Kurt bites as he pulls open the fridge. "And that's the fifth one in as many days." Taking a dish of leftover chicken from the fridge he sits at the table and begins to eat, mindlessly chewing the meat as he fumes.
"You don't like cold chicken," Blaine points out.
"I know."
"So do you have any more lined up?" Blaine rummages in the freezer, replacing the chicken with ice cream before tentatively pulling out a chair next to him and sitting down.
"I have three next week," Kurt says, somewhat calmer now. "Nine to five, Hello Dolly and Bar Mitzvah Boy."
"What on earth is that?"
"I have no idea," Kurt says wearily. "And I think they might guess that I'm not Jewish."
"Well... Nine to five could be fun."
"Yeah... I guess." He sighs and rests his chin on the table, blinking hard to get rid of the tears he can feel stinging behind his eyes. "I'm never gonna do it, am I?" he whispers. "These are just chorus roles I'm going for, and I just keep getting turned away. I sang two bars today, that's all, and then they yell 'next' over the top of me and dismiss me with a wave of their hand. Not even a thank you."
"Oh my gorgeous boy," Blaine says as he encourages him into his lap. "You'll do it. But you have to remember hundreds of others are trying to do it too."
"I know but..."
"But it doesn't make it any easier. I get it. You know..."
"Don't tell me I don't have to work, Blaine, don't," Kurt says, going stiff in his embrace. "I may not have to but it doesn't mean I don't want to."
"I wasn't going to say that," Blaine says calmly. "You're well aware of the situation. I was going to suggest you could take Joe up on his offer. A summer of making costumes on a film set...that's an amazing experience."
"If you want to do that kind of thing, yeah. But I don't. Besides, I've already told Joe I'm doing a show this summer. I can't go back to him, cap in hand and admit it didn't work out."
"Okay...well..." Blaine pauses, at a loss for what to say or do. "I think you need to try and remember that this is only just the beginning. It's always hard. How many times do we read about an actor's struggle to reach the top? But you'll get there, and you still have another year in college."
"Rachel got Fanny."
"I know she did," Blaine smirks, trying not to laugh out loud. "But Rachel is... Rachel."
"Rachel is gonna be a huge broadway star," Kurt moans.
"You don't know that, the show hasn't even opened yet. Come on. It's the weekend now. Let's just...be. We can stay home, watch movies and be completely lazy, or we can go out...whatever you want."
"I want to curl up on the couch with you and have you kiss me until I feel better," Kurt says against his chest.
"I can do that. And hey, I know something that will cheer you up."
"Oh?"
"In one year, three weeks and one day, it will be our wedding day."
Kurt's grin comes bright and wide as he attempts to kiss Blaine but it's more a clashing of teeth which causes them both to laugh. "Yeah...that cheers me up," he says as he gives into the giggles rising in his throat. "What are the chances of getting a string quartet to play?"
They spend the weekend immersed in one another, though on Sunday afternoon Blaine does take the time to go through Kurt's audition pieces with him- having a fiancé who can accompany you on the piano as you practice your songs comes in handy, Kurt realizes, and he goes into his audition on Monday feeling a lot more confident. But it's the same rejection story that day, and the next, and the one after that and Kurt becomes despondent yet angry, snapping at Blaine over every little thing- culminating in him having stormed from the apartment that morning accusing Blaine of wanting him to fail. Blaine arrives home from rehearsal that afternoon, expecting Kurt to be in college but he finds him curled up in bed, crying quietly. He takes him in his arms wordlessly, rubbing his hands over his back and soothing as best he can until Kurt falls into a fitful sleep for a few hours.
When he emerges he walks bleary eyed into the kitchen where Blaine stands at the counter preparing dinner. He turns and takes Kurt in his arms once more, who sighs and rests his head onto Blaine's shoulder. "I'm an asshole to you," he murmurs into his neck.
"No you're not," Blaine reassures. "If you were treating me badly I'd say something. But you're understandably frustrated and upset. We all take our feelings out on those closest to us."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it. I was hurt that you left this morning without saying goodbye though, please try not to do that again."
"I know you want me to succeed," he admits quietly.
"I do...which is why I called Santana," Blaine says, guiding Kurt to sit at the table.
"You called her to talk about me?"
"Hear me out," Blaine says quickly before Kurt's rising anger can prevail. "There's an open casting call for an off Broadway production of Carousel taking place on Friday. She's going, and I think you should too."
"No way. No." Kurt is on his feet in second, shaking his head emphatically as he begins to pace. "A whole summer in New York? No. And I don't even want to do Carousel, anyway."
"But it's an open call, Kurt. That means you stand the chance of getting a speaking role. And think about it...you could live with the girls for a couple of months, you'd be there when the Symphony are in town...and as soon as your run is over we could fly down to Virginia Beach."
"How long is the run?"
"Four weeks."
"No. I'm not going to do it."
"Well that's tough shit because I booked you a flight," Blaine snaps. "You leave here tomorrow at four and fly back Friday after the audition. Santana will meet you at the airport."
"You...what?" Kurt asks, voice dangerously low as he advances toward Blaine.
"You heard," Blaine replies nonchalantly as he scrapes his chair back from the table. "You have just apologized- very sincerely, I believe- for being an asshole to me. I reassured you that I understood, and I do. I am trying to help you here, Kurt. You will go to that audition the same way as I went to mine. I keep you in my heart too, you know. Now just show a bit of trust in me, please."
Kurt stands, mouth hanging open as Blaine moves around him, preparing the risotto. Eventually he huffs loudly and dramatically and flounces into the bedroom, but ten minutes later a small suitcase stands neatly packed, waiting in the hallway.
"I got it."
"Could you be any more thrilled?" Blaine sighs down the phone.
"No I am pleased I guess I just... Santana got Carrie Pipperidge."
"Who's that?"
"A supporting actress role. Lots of lines and a solo number."
"And you?"
"Just chorus. A handful of lines in the final scene."
"But that's good, right?" Blaine urges. "You got the audition."
"Yeah."
"Oh darling... Come home to me so I can hold you tight."
"I will. The cab's nearly at the airport, I'll see you in a few hours."
He brightens up once he sees Blaine again, smiling bashfully into the flowers he is presented with and talking a lot more excitedly about the production.
"So it's actually only a three week run, with a week of intense rehearsals prior," he prattles as they make their way out to the car. "Which works better for me because it means I don't have to be away from you any more than necessary. And, the best thing of all is that my last night is the night before yours, so you can come to my matinee on the Saturday, then I can come watch you on the Sunday."
"That works well," Blaine smiles, happy to hear Kurt sounding animated about something again. "Maybe we could hire a car and drive down to Virginia Beach right from there?" Blaine wonders aloud as he pulls out into the traffic. "Get a couple of extra days in before Wes and Kathy arrive."
"Perfect," Kurt grins, settling back in his seat.
They cuddle close in bed that night, talking about the summer and all the opportunities it will bring. Kurt admits to being excited, and Blaine agrees, pointing out that it's okay to miss one another yet want to experience new things at the same time.
"So it's my turn to thank you," Kurt says as he curls onto his side to face Blaine, tucking his hands under his chin. "For having faith in me, putting up with my mood and giving me the push that I needed."
"Anytime," Blaine smiles sweetly. "Truth be told I thought you were going to either punch me or kick me out when I told you I'd booked your flight," he says. "That's why I tried to play it cool."
"I'd never punch you!" Kurt cries, horrified.
"But you'd kick me out?" Blaine teases.
"No!"
"Good," Blaine laughs. "And anyway. That wasn't a push. This is a push," he says as he gives Kurt a shove and he topples out of the bed, dragging the comforter down with him.
"Blaine Anderson, you pushed me out of bed!" Kurt screams, laughing loudly when Blaine's face hangs over the edge. "Get me up."
"I'll let you back in if you can answer this question. No thinking, just give me the first answer that comes into your head. What's our surname going to be once we're married?"
"Anderson-Hummel," Kurt grins, then his eyes go wide and he's thumping his own forehead in frustration. "No!"
"Nope!" Blaine laughs, reaching down to tickle at his stomach. "And it was you who chose it too! Ah well." He falls down on top of him, pulling the comforter over them both. "I guess we'll just have to make love on the floor."