Author's notes: I've decided to take a break from writing for a short time. It's my plan to restart posting in January after I've had a chance to recharge and get a few chapters ahead. Thanks to all of you that have continued to follow along and remember, comments show me that you're still out there and reading.

Chapter 113 Protégé

Boomer leaned against the basestar wall and tried to settle her racing thoughts. She'd just left a very pissed off Cavil to clean up after resurrecting. Not that his anger wasn't understandable. She still couldn't believe what the Sixes, Eights and Twos had done. Removing the Centurions' inhibitors had been one thing, but to then set them on the other models like trained dogs? How was that going to further their cause?

How everything could've gone so bad so quickly…and how much of it was her fault, she wondered. Perhaps if she hadn't broken from her line, hadn't sided with Cavil in his determination to 'fix' the Raiders, the others wouldn't have felt pushed into such an extreme action.

She put her fist to her forehead and took a breath as she tried to absorb the implications of the others' actions. It appeared that they'd executed every One, Four and Five on the three basestars that had become predominantly ruled by those with pro-religious leanings. Lifting her head, she wondered about the small number of them that still had resided on the other basestars and the Resurrection Ship. Had they known of Natalie's plan? Shaking her head, Boomer tried to make sense of events that were happening too fast.

And what of these inhibitors Cavil had been ranting about?

It had taken a minute for Boomer to understand that the Centurions had apparently been installed with some sort of governing device years ago. That these 'inhibitors' had then been removed by Natalie's people and had led to the sweep of all those that disagreed with her philosophies from 'her' basestars.

Boomer searched her memory, but couldn't recall ever having come across any reference to the inhibitors within the data stream. Not even during her study of Cylon history after she'd finally accepted that she was—had always been—a Cylon herself.

Those early months on Caprica had been traumatic as she tried to assimilate the truth of her identity. Only two things had kept her from ending it all; the knowledge that if she tried, she'd just resurrect again anyways—but more especially, the support of Caprica Six. And as she remembered the patience of the Six guiding her through the data stream and their long discussions afterwards, Boomer hugged herself. It had seemed a literal godsend to have someone with a similar perspective.

But it hadn't been enough.

She pulled her wandering thoughts from the past. What mattered was the present, Cavil had taught her that. He had also shown her how to focus and shove all the disquieting emotions aside as irrelevant. Under his guidance, Boomer had come to see how feelings were just an illusion used to sway the gullible. She answered to no military leader or modes of human society. It had been difficult at first, but she had found a sort of peace in letting go of a past she had never asked for.

Curiosity was one thing she hadn't sought to quell. And now Boomer moved off in search of the nearest data stream conduit. There were things that she didn't understand, and she was determined to find out more about her metallic predecessors.

[ I I I I I ]

Two hours later and Boomer lifted her hand from the liquid plate and gave a frustrated sigh. Nothing. Despite an extensive search she couldn't find any mention of the inhibitors. She had confirmed that during the final days of the First War, the Cylons had made a major breakthrough and had used the cover of an armistice to withdrawal and further their medical research. They had then not only created the hybrids that served as the core to the modern basestars, but had also made the jump to the creation of the humanoid versions…beginning with Cavil.

As far as she'd been able to discover, he was the original One from which all the others were copied. She briefly wondered if that meant that he had once been younger and had then aged? No. That wouldn't explain why each of the subsequent Ones appeared the same age. It did raise the question of whether the humanoid versions could grow old. Pushing aside the question until some future time, she considered the total lack of results in her primary search. Nowhere could she find an explanation for the inhibitors existence. It was like one day the Centurions were busy developing the humanoid models to use as infiltrators and the next they were acting as menials to their very creations.

Wiping her hand on her pants, she decided to take the question to Cavil. As the first made, he surely would know the reasoning behind the subjugation of what were to all intents and purposes, all of their parents.

Knowing that he was probably conferring in the main hub with the other models, she made her way through the long halls to the focal point of the ship. Her eyes on entering were automatically drawn to the pale figure in the inset tub. Most basestars kept their hybrid isolated, but not on the Resurrection Ships. Boomer didn't know why, but she couldn't prevent the shiver of repugnance that flowed down her spine at the sight of the…being…in the center of the large room. She could see her—its—the thing's lips moving though the words were obscured by the raised voices to one side.

Boomer took a moment to observe the group. Several Ones were going on about the delusions and insanity of the rebel models and how it had gotten to the point that the only choice was to box their entire lines right alongside the Threes. A couple of Fours occasionally interrupted with protests or alternate suggestions, but the rest, and all the Fives, just listened with grim expressions.

Cavil was proposing to have over half their known lines boxed?

This madness that had started with her crossing the will of her sister-Eights had to be stopped. Even if that meant reversing her stance.

Stepping forward, Boomer caught Cavil's attention by the simple means of shouting.

"I was wrong." And as all eyes turned her way, "I shouldn't have voted independently. It's torn us apart and we need to make peace with the others." In near synchronicity, the Ones rolled their eyes.

"Pishhh!" Cavil scoffed as he moved to face her. "We should kowtow to a bunch of religious fanatics? Accept their dogma and what," swirling a hand in front of him, "form a little prayer circle? Or, I know, we can do some chanting," he mocked. He let the sarcasm hang a moment, then his eyebrows and voice both lowered meaningfully, "Or we can stick to the goddamnedplan…and rid the universe of the human race once and for all."

"But-but if we stop chasing the Colonials, we wouldn't need to change the Raiders. And the Centurions? Why have inhibitors at all? What's wrong with letting them think fo—"

"What'swrong?" he interrupted with a scathing look. "What's wrong is that they squandered their chance in the First War to exterminate the human pestilence. And these," disgust filled his voice as he indicated his own aged form, "…these parodies they designed to mimic humans…Phagh! They missed the whole purpose of evolution. They can't be trusted with self-direction. And apparently they aren't the only ones," he said with a pointed look at her before turning his back to face the others; his contemptuous dismissal of her obvious to all present.

Boomer opened her mouth, but swallowed her protest as the others formed up, creating a circle with her pointedly left standing on the outside.

Wringing her hands, she hesitated before turning to leave the room. Cavil's derision had struck her hard and she suddenly found herself feeling disoriented on this huge ship. She moved along the passage, cautiously checking each alcove until she found a deserted one to retreat into to gather her scattered self. It wasn't so much Cavil's words, but the total dismissal in his tone and actions. It was as if her input had no worth now, when initially it had been her vote that had swayed things his way. He certainly hadn't treated her like this when he'd needed her to ensure that the Raider procedure be done as he'd wanted. Quite the opposite in fact. His entire behavior towards her since she'd transferred from Natalie's basestar had been that of a mentor, shepherding her to the ways of the machine, teaching her how to shed the coat of humanity that had threatened to suffocate her within its heavy folds.

How could he toss her concerns aside so easily now?

She frowned in bewilderment. It was like she had been speaking to an entirely different man.

No. She could tell the difference between the individual Cylons. Or at least recognize her Cavil from his brethren. This 'face' he'd shown her might not be one she'd seen before, but it was definitely his. But then how did she reconcile the two sides of him. Wasthe Cavil she had been emulating these past couple of months a facade all along? The idea that he had used her, had been acting as a friend to some purpose of his own, stirred all the self-doubt that Boomer had thought she'd put behind her.

She shut her eyes and tried to stop the quaking in her stomach. Taking slow breaths, she concentrated just as Caprica Six had taught her to and brought the familiar projection to mind. She built it up then opened her eyes. A forest trail lay beneath her feet, its path following a narrow river. Majestic evergreens and deciduous, whose leaves were just coming into the glory of their fall shades, bordered its meandering route.

Boomer breathed in the crisp scent of foliage and began to relax as she strolled along the path, her hand brushing aside a stray branch that tugged at her hair. The afternoon sun touched warmly on her bare arms in the breaks between trees and she paused to appreciate its caress. But, try as she might, the scenery failed to set her completely at ease. Something was off. She turned a slow circle, trying to pinpoint the fallacy in her projection.

It was too quiet. No, it was totally silent.

The were no birds twittering out warnings or the rustle of small animals in the underbrush. The water made no noise as it flowed along its course. Why, even her footsteps hadn't made their usual low crunch as she'd walked along the leaf strewn path. The total absence of sound was disturbing. She closed her eyes again and sought memories of past visits.

Silence still dominated the world she'd created.

Trying again, she searched her memory for times she had hiked the parks on Picon and scaled the vertical cliffs of Geminon.

Still nothing.

Frowning at her failure, Boomer tried to work out what she was doing wrong. She recalled how Caprica Six had been surprised when she'd so quickly caught onto the knack of creating projections. The blonde had said that it probably had to do with Boomer's experiences as a human, that she'd been more aware of the natural world around her rather than focused on the internal one as most of her Cylon siblings were.

Now, standing amongst all the natural beauty she could envision, Boomer discovered that the world she thought she'd fashioned to replace her prior one was as empty. And maybe that was the core of the problem. She felt truly alone as she hadn't since being befriended by Caprica.

She frowned at the acidic taste that always scoured her tongue at the thought of the tall Six. In the other woman she had thought she'd made a true friend—No, more than that—Boomer had thought she had found a sister. Someone real to replace the false family she had 'lost'. She had learned so much from Caprica and together she had thought they could make a difference. Stop the futile chase of the survivors and find somewhere of their own to settle.

Boomer's harsh laugh jangled the unnatural silence about her.

How wrong she'd been.

Their initial victory had turned sour when the other models insisted that humans couldn't be trusted not to one day return and seek vengeance, so it had been decided to use New Caprica as a proving ground as to whether there could ever be peace between their races.

She pressed her fingers to her forehead.

I tried!

And so had Caprica. They just hadn't been able to make the others understand that a forced Occupation wouldn't endear them to the humans. But the only other alternative put on the table by their brethren was to nuke the settlement. She and Caprica had reluctantly agreed—and had hoped for the best. The absolute failure that followed had been a bitter disappointment. Especially when Boomer had tried to reach out and help those she'd known in her former life only to have the attempts thrown back in her face.

As things on New Caprica had degenerated, Boomer had realized how not only was helpless to correct the spiraling situation, but also how hopeless the attempt to co-exist had been from the start. The Ones had been right. The humans weren't going to forgive…as Cally had made spitefully clear.

Thoughts of the Occupation brought her around to those of Starbuck. Feeling abruptly nauseous as images flashed to mind of Kara's condition when she'd seen her in the detention center. Swallowing repeatedly, she forced down the bile. How the hell did Kara keep ending up a captive?

When news had come that Leoben had found a disabled Raptor and its unconscious pilot on the planet well after Galactica had jumped clear, Boomer had been stunned. Had she been on the surface when the Cylons had surprised the Fleet? Why hadn't Adama sent back a SARs team once the coast was clear? The coincidence that Starbuck had been left behind and fallen into their hands a second time was disturbing.

During the discussion as to what to do with the pilot, Boomer, torn by divided loyalties, had kept neutrally silent. Kara's presence had awakened the emotions that, under Cavil's tutelage, she had thought she'd finally put aside. The feelings of friendship, loss, guilty regret and impotence had come rolling right back over her. She had listened as the Ones declared that they should just be done with the troublesome woman once and for all. Of course the Twos had objected, but she had been surprised when the Fours had sided with them, and then the Sixes and other Eights had followed suit. Thus Starbuck was spared once again. But, remembering what she'd been put through the prior times she'd been held, Boomer had bleakly wished that Cavil had gotten his way. At least it would have been quick.

Blinking free of memory, the projection around her failed completely and Boomer was once again standing in the small room. She rubbed her hands up and down her pants, frustrated at how off balance she felt. All those weeks listening to Cavil's instructions about being in control of her own programming seemed to have come to naught now that she was conflicted by her loyalty to him and to that of her other siblings.

While on Natalie's basestar, she had come to know many of the others more closely, especially in the months following their dismayed departure from New Caprica. On returning with Caprica Six to Natalie's vessel, she hadn't at first noticed that those that disagreed with the Ones' policies had gravitated to the same three ships. Once it had come to her attention, she had also realized that those with pro-human leanings had congregated together on hers.

The biggest shock had been discovering Baltar onboard and only slightly less so, that Simon had also chosen their ship.

She had known that the Four had had close contact with humans, first when assigned to a Caprican Farm and then on New Caprica when he had been called in to occasionally treat the prisoners. But it was when another Eight had informed her that Simon had also worked closely on multiple occasions with Doc Cottle in the settlement's makeshift hospital that Boomer had sought the Four out. She had felt in him echoes of the same remorse and regret that resonated so strongly with the discordant feeling she had been struggling with since New Caprica. They might even have started a relationship if events hadn't conspired against her.

D'Anna, with Hera cradled in her arms, had boarded the same ship during the exodus. But after the first week the Three had become bored with playing mommy and the hybrid child had been passed from one caregiver to another after that. Then someone had the notion that Boomer, being an Eight like the child's mother and having experience with humans, would make the perfect surrogate mom. Suddenly the responsibility of caring for an infant had been thrust upon her with no preparation.

Recalling the frustrating days and frantic nights that followed, she grimaced. She had originally sought out Caprica, only to find the Six too entangled in her own relationship with Baltar and D'Anna to help with the toddler. When she had approached Simon to examine Hera, thinking the child might be sick, he hadn't found any physical ailments to account for her constant distress. Desperate for some relief, she had even gone so far as to suggest that he could perhaps assist her in the little girl's care. Simon had shrugged and uncomfortably said that, as she well knew, the Farms hadn't produced any viable babies, so of course he didn't have any useful experience with infants.

Fuming, Boomer had lifted the still crying Hera and turned her back on the Four. The growing attraction she had felt for Simon had been thoroughly crushed by his indifference to her burden and she had been own her own after that.

Until Athena had come.

By the time Sharon had resurrected and come to the basestar to reclaim her child, Boomer had been physically and emotionally exhausted, bordering on a nervous collapse.

Watching the woman that had replaced her on Galactica so easily soothe the child that Boomer had nurtured over the past many weeks was enough to unhinge the last of her self-restraint. She wasn't proud of what had followed. And in her deepest heart, she still wasn't sure whether she would have actually snapped Hera's neck. She had just been so frakking tired! The last straw had been watching Athena steal away another sliver of the life she had tried so hard to scrape together.

Bitter hurt still filled her at how Caprica Six had taken Athena's side. Caprica's perfidy was what had finally driven her to Cavil's vessel and his teachings. And now his recent brush-off felt just like another betrayal. It seemed that everyone she gave her trust to, came to rely on, chose to turn their backs on her in the end.

Wrapping her arms about herself now, Boomer could almost feel Hera's weight within them from those days spent walking the halls of the basestar, trying to calm the little girl. Just as then, the other models had had little patience or time to help her, and now it appeared the same here.

What was so special about Athena that she got everything she wanted while Boomer was left with nothing?

Sniffing, she swiped a hand across her eyes and raised her head. Her searching gaze settled on the data conduit along one wall and she strode to it and thrust a hand to its flickering surface. Immediately she was plunged into the flow of information and had to remind herself to breathe as the initial sensation of drowning passed. It only took moments to find what she wanted. Steeling herself, Boomer accessed Athena's memories from her last download.

Her eyes moved rapidly beneath closed lids as the events reeled forth like a like a movie set on fast forward. Involuntary gasps and flinches afflicted her as she experienced all Athena had endured over the past two years compressed into barely a half hour's real time. When it was over, Boomer's hand fell limply to her side and she staggered back, shock chilling her skin even as her heart raced.

All this time she had thought her sister had had it easy.

Boomer clutched herself as shudders of reaction shook her small frame. Flashes still spooled on replay in her mind; ones of the assault by the men from Pegasus, those where she—Athena—believed her baby was about to be aborted, and then the racking grief at Hera's supposed death.

So many. Too much.

Sinking to the floor, Boomer compressed herself into a tight ball as if to keep from flying apart from the overload of memories. This was the first time she had ever accessed another's experiences, let alone all of them at once. Now she'd give anything to never have done so.

Hours passed before she cautiously straightened her legs and rolled over to lay flat on her back. Concentrating on stretching muscles that had cramped from being held rigid for too long, Boomer slowly relaxed. She had finally managed to separate her own memories from those of the other Eight, but it had been a disturbingly revealing exercise in which she'd learned that Athena's life hadn't been a road of ease as Boomer had assumed. The woman had had to fight for everything she'd achieved…and had been willing to sacrifice it all to get Hera back. How could she begrudge her sister a daughter that had never really been Boomer's at all? Regardless of whatever she had thought, it had been Athena's own efforts had gotten all that was hers now. She had never taken a thing from Boomer.

Rolling over, she pushed herself unsteadily to her feet.

She pulled her shoulders back as if a weighted cloak had slipped from her. There were still issues she had to face, but she no longer felt like the universe had set out to purposefully take everything from her and give to another for no discernable reason.

Tilting her head as she noticed an anomaly in Athena's memories, she considered what they meant. There was definitely a pattern. Whenever Boomer sought to focus on anything remotely tactical about Galactica, she drew a complete blank. Somehow Athena had managed to alter her thoughts enough to block areas that could've been used by the others against the Fleet. Puzzling over her discovery, Boomer could only come to the conclusion that the Eight had found a way to selectively protect certain memories, but that would also mean that those memories were lost forever to the new version of Athena that had downloaded onto the basestar.

It made sense. The knowledge that was missing was of things that she could easily learn again, assuming she even had the need of it. Boomer wet her lips. There were so many painful memories she'd give anything to just wipe away. If she could learn Athena's trick…

"So here you are," a Five said on entering the alcove. His irritated tone was proof that he'd been searching for her for quite some time.

"Here I am. Something you need or just restating the obvious?" she asked with a mocking look. The Fives were an odd lot and Boomer had never been able to warm to any of their number. His eyes narrowed in response to her mild jab.

"Cavil's looking for you. Said to have you meet him in Sectional D12delta soonest. Or sooner." He swept a hand down his lavender jacket as if brushing aside his discharged duty. With barely a parting nod, the Five turned and left her to consider what the One's summons might be about.

Though she knew it was only a number of hours, it still felt like days since she had retreated from the gathering of the models in the Hybrid's chamber. So many of her preconceptions had been upended in such a short time. She sighed. What she really wanted to do right now was have some quiet time to work through how she felt about things, not have to deal with Cavil and whatever decision had been made about the rebels.

With another sigh, she raked a hand through her hair and tugged down the indigo blouse, determined to present as collected an image to her mentor as she could considering the turmoil of her thoughts.

It took ten minutes, several wrong turns and asking another Five along the way to finally locate the correct section on the immense Resurrection Ship. As she approached alcove twelve delta, Boomer heard the sound of two men talking. She paused just beyond the opening, hesitant to interrupt as she indentified Cavil and another One. While trying to decide what to do, her head suddenly twitched up as she heard a name that was so out of place as to leave her sure that she'd misheard. Another step closer and their words were easier to discern.

"…haven't checked on them this week." Definitely the unnamed One. "Do you want me to let them know what's happening?"

"Our guests certainly deserve a progress report." Cavil's mocking tone was unmistakable as he continued. "I'm sure they're dying to know how the Twos, Sixes and Eights have taken a clearly insane stand. And while I'd like to savor their discomfiture myself, I haven't the time." There was a pause and Boomer looked back the way she had come, undecided whether to duck into the nearest room or stay where she was. Then she heard Cavil called to his brother, "Oh, and don't forget to let them know that we intend to extend the rebels every opportunity to come back into the fold. Plans are in place to meet with them within the next few days to discuss what compromises are necessary to end this ridiculous crusade of theirs."

Hastily deciding not to be caught eavesdropping, she scurried to next alcove and flattened herself in the shadow of its interior archway. Holding her breath, she heard footsteps pass and glimpsed the departing back of the One. Moving into the opening, she saw him about to turn the far corner and debated her course. Cavil had sent for her, and she knew he hated waiting, but this might be her only chance to find out what guests the Ones had been discussing. This was the first she'd heard of any captives being held onboard and a disturbing suspicion urged her to discover what secret the Ones were obviously keeping to from the other models.

Treading as quietly and quickly as she could, Boomer set off in the direction the One had gone. A glance around the corner showed him about to descend to one of the lower sections and she waited a half tick before dashing across to follow down the stairwell. Careful to keep him one level below her, she paced him. It wasn't difficult. She could hear his heavy breathing and occasional mutters as he cursed the design of both the Resurrection Ship and his aged body.

Though she had never been particularly good with maps, which was why she was a pilot and not an ECO, Boomer was nonetheless sure that they must be approaching the lowest level of the ship. The isolated location only served to confirm the importance of Cavil's guests. Pausing at the bottom of the steps to catch her breath, she listened intently and could just make out the receding footfalls and pants of the One. Daring a quick look down the hall, she saw him disappear down an intersecting corridor.

With a glance back up the staircase, Boomer debated forgetting the whole thing. What did it really matter who was down here? Didn't she already have enough concerns with a potential civil war? Well, at least Cavil had said that they intended to do everything they could to avoid that.

Boomer put a hand to her forehead, feeling the fine layer of sweat beneath her palm as she struggled with what to do. Finally, deciding that she'd come this far, she might as well see exactly where the One was headed, she slid around the corner and jogged to the end of the hall. Another cautious peek revealed a short corridor that ended in…a single door.

Pulling back to lean against the wall, she contemplated her discovery. A door might not be anything special on a battlestar, but on Cylon vessels it was unheard of. The near complete lack of privacy was one of the things that Boomer had struggled with when she had first ventured about the basestars. Cylon architecture was all about open halls and arching entrances. Doors had no place on a Resurrection Ship and yet she had just found one within its deepest recess.

Doors kept things out…or locked in.

The urge to know what lay beyond that beckoning door was nearly irresistible now, but also blatantly impossible. The One she had followed was obviously inside. Boomer would have to wait until him left before investigating it further. In the meantime, Cavil was still expecting her, and suddenly Boomer didn't want to give him any reason to suspect that she had anything to hide.

Turning, she retraced her path and prepared to meet with her Cylon mentor, determined to give nothing away of her recent discovery.