Chapter Two: Years Long Gone

From recovered pages of Colorado's diary: So this new agent – Delaware – showed up today. Not sure what to make of her combat skill yet. As a person, she's probably the nicest Freelancer on record. It's nice having someone like that around when dealing with Carolina and South on a regular basis.

I was beyond shocked by the appearance of Freelancer's sweetheart. Hearing her name among those who had gone rogue had blown me away, but seeing her in person? In brought about a whole new perspective, especially as I stared groggily at the cold visor hiding her face. The Delaware from before the crash would have popped open her faceplate and laughed at the situation, and I would have laughed with her, because it hurt the pride to be in such a position. But there was no laughing between the two of us.

The gun in my face – MY gun, no less – ensured that there wasn't any laughing.

"'Rado."

It was a simple, cautious greeting.

Of all the Freelancers I hadn't expected to run into, Delaware ranked near the top. Which made her presence even more baffling. Surely somebody would have known she was on the planet? But then, it sounded like the forest was unknown territory. It wasn't far-fetched to imagine her hiding out for years. And as for the hardware she had used, I would have saved all of my gear for if another Freelancer came knocking too. And it wasn't hard to guess that I was still with the project. I was pretty much a walking armory, and I doubted the escaped agents were as well equipped. This, I realized, was probably why she still had me at gun point. She had no idea what my intentions were.

Under normal circumstances, she'd have every right to be concerned. But I had bigger fish to fry than Number Twenty-Two. I couldn't afford to stop and deal with her.

"Delaware-"

"What are you doing here, 'Rado?" She interrupted sharply.

This was where I needed to tread carefully. While I recovered Freelancer technology at any and all costs, nobody else could know that. Besides the fact if I told Delaware that she'd probably blow my brains out.

"Looking for Wyoming," I lied easily, making sure not to twitch even a muscle. If the twins got wind I was hunting them down, it would drive them deeper underground. I figured Wyoming was the safer bet to say, because even if he did hear of my sort-of intentions, he'd be too arrogant to change his routine. The sniper had never been one to run in fear. Instead he'd just figure out a way to outwit whatever was in his way. Delaware's aim wavered slightly, and I could read her hesitation like a book. Finally, though, the gun came up and she offered me a hand.

"I'm hunting Wyoming too," she said in relief. "Wyoming led Rhode and I into a trap. I got away. He didn't. All we wanted was to just live away from all of the bullshit of the project. The competition, the lies, just all of it. It was poison!"

Looking at her, I could believe it. We'd all been exposed to it. And now there wasn't really an antidote. It was just a debilitating curse. Delaware clearly had learned not to trust anybody, let alone another Freelancer. Wyoming had destroyed that for her. And Maine – the Meta – had killed that for me. Geez. We're like two freaking peas, I snarked in my head. I don't know if she thinks I'm rogue or not, but I definitely can't check in with Command while she's around. Last thing I need is another kill order right now. I'm going to need all of my resources for the twins.

I tried to tell myself that it wasn't because I missed Freelancer company.

I took her hand and let myself be pulled to my feet. She did not, however, give my gun back, not that I could blame her. I was surprised that she even allowed me to grab my sniper from off of the ground, though a quick look at her posture revealed it to be marginally alert. The laughter in her voice, however, was obvious as she caught my scrutiny.

"You were never very good with that thing."

Perhaps the Delaware from before wasn't so far gone after all.

It was weird stalking the forest with Delaware. I'd opted out of having a partner just in case they cracked and turned on me. Who knew I'd be partnering up with my very own turncoat now? Delaware was on my three o'clock as we moved. She'd kept my gun to use alongside her own SMG, and she had her own cache of ammo to use for it. Not much because, as I'd expected, none of the first group of rogue agents had been able to grab much. What I starkly noticed, however, was how neither of us wanted the other to get too far behind us. Always we kept one another in our peripheral. Yeah, we had a sort of unspoken agreement in pursuit of Wyoming, but I hadn't yet told her about the possibility of the twins being with him. After all, how could I even begin to explain how I knew of their probable whereabouts? The less Delaware knew, the better.

Actually, it seemed like she had similar thinking. She hadn't given me anything about what she had been up to after leaving the project. Aside from Rhode's death, Delaware had kept everything tucked close to her. Nothing on how she'd been. Not a word about how she'd gotten on the planet. She especially didn't give any details about Wyoming's encounter with her and Rhode, not that I needed them. Wyoming had probably been a Recovery agent too. A lot of the remaining Freelancers were, though we didn't see each other near enough to discern who exactly was. Details aside, the lack of openness between us was stifling enough that it almost felt like there were two fronts I needed to keep an eye on. No doubt she felt the same way, hence the situation we worked ourselves into.

Every now and then we'd stop to examine whatever tracks or strange trails we could find, but when the footprints disappeared it became even harder to stay on course. It also didn't help that the both of us would come and investigate whatever looked like a clue. And even though I knew it was stupid to not have anybody watch the area, I figured Delaware would rather have me investigate with her than without her. Funnily enough, she seemed to have the same idea. Once the trail dried up, however, it became clear that we needed a new strategy.

"Del, much as I want to find him, we're going to need to find something that actually works."

I heard more than saw Del stop in her tracks. Among the green fronds of bushes, she was almost invisible. Her armor was dark green, the trim a dirt brown. When it came to stealth operations in forest or grassland, Delaware was always the top pick. It also helped that she was fairly agile, though her height often made sneaking into tight spaces a challenge; Delaware had to have been at least five foot eight, and dwarfed me by half a foot. Guess I at least had the advantage of being able to have wider options for getting away if the situation ever called for it. But that was morbid thinking, and entirely inappropriate in the face of the other Freelancer's quiet thinking.

"Well, he probably would have had to stop for supplies," she reasoned, half to her herself and half to me. "The city of Frozst is maybe ten klicks from here, give or take. But if we want to get in without drawing attention…"

Oh.

Oh no.

I knew where that was going.

"You want us to ditch our gear. You've gone mad over the years, haven't you?"

Delaware stomped through the foliage, and I could imagine the violent squelch of the thicker pieces of vegetation.

"You do whatever you need to in order to remain under the radar, 'Rado. But judging from your abundance of gear to ditch, I'd say you've forgotten what 'covert' actually is."

Feeling my temper rise in tandem with hers, I threw my pistol in its holster and slammed my hands on my hips with an angry scowl.

"There's a difference between 'covert,' as you so eloquently put it, and straight up stupidity. Namely what you're suggesting. Wyoming will know either way if it's us when we enter the city."

But damn, I had forgotten that Delaware had had a dramatic change of attitude. I didn't need to see her face to feel the hard set of her jaw.

"Well then going in without raising alarms will just keep us a bit more inconspicuous for a little longer then, won't it?"

I sighed and reflexively reached up to pinch where the bridge of my nose would be. Damned helmets. Damned Delaware. She couldn't have just gone along with me. She just had to come in and screw up all of my plans. But had she really? There was no more trail to find. It could have gone anywhere: further into the forest, some other city… but Frozst was closest, and would be a common sense stop for anybody wanting to gather more supplies for an extended excursion, or to find transport off of the planet. If I was running, that was where I would go.

Unfortunately, Delaware had a point. Walking into the city like a glorified death squad would set off word faster than a wildfire catching a dry forest. Not that I was comfortable at all with leaving valuable equipment lying around, let alone my armor. Walking around without it always left me feeling fearfully vulnerable.

"Fine," I finally agreed, the word tasting like hot coals. "But you better have a good place to stash our gear. No way am I walking into a gunfight with nothing but a pistol, and I am keeping the pistol," I slapped on harshly as she opened her mouth to, presumably, argue. Of course my presumptuousness only earned me a huff.

"I'm not dumb enough to go without a weapon either. The stash is about two klicks outside of the city. If we hurry we can hit it before nightfall."

Something small had shifted between us I thought. At least, it might have, because Delaware immediately took the lead and began running in the direction towards the city. All the while I was trying to come up with a plan to ditch her once we made it to the city. Wyoming was the priority to the Director. But the twins were my priority. Before I lost the nerve to hunt them, I needed to find them. And even though seeing them again was terrifying on a deeply personal level, it was something I needed to do. I had to escape this phantom influence North had on me. This influence that made my job harder. After all, had I reported Delaware's presence right away like I was supposed to, we likely wouldn't be charging through the forest together. Instead I had hesitated and made excuses as to why not to report her. Hopefully I would be able to go back to just doing what I had to do. That's what it would take to get Psi back. He had to be my ultimate goal.

And unfortunately – there seemed to be a lot of misfortune for me – Delaware was temporarily going to be my partner to work towards that goal. At least until I ditched her in the city.

Until then, our trip passed in silence. When we got too tired to straight run, we jogged, and when hunger finally drove us to seek a rapid break, we shared an MRE. For the first time, Delaware had removed her helmet in my presence, and I had ditched mine. Two different sets of eyes stared at one another in quiet appraisal. Physically, Del hadn't changed a bit. We'd always given her shit for being a redhead (it was an unspoken rule that you never teased Carolina about it, but York always seemed to break that rule), but she'd always taken it with good humor, usually sniping back about blondes at least being dumber than redheads, and brown-haired people being perpetually unable to wash the mud out of their hair. However, while my eyes were green and hers blue, they both had that same hunted quality about them. Her hunted by Freelancer and the two long years of memory, and me, the Freelancer, also being hunted by the memories of the past two years.

Though if I was being honest, Delaware's complexion was more haggard than it had been, her cheeks thinner. From the way she practically inhaled her food and kept an eye on what was around her, she was more than prepared to cut and run at a moment's notice. I, in comparison, didn't act like a pursued convict. For every bite I finished to her three or four, I felt kind of bad. Especially as she finished, put her helmet back on, and began to pace, keeping an alert eye on the surroundings. I didn't want to indulge her seeming paranoia, but I felt like maybe I could calm her down and get her focused on the task at hand.

"What do you think is going to jump us out here?"

She stopped pacing for a second and gave me a look, though I couldn't for the life of me decipher it without seeing her face.

"Other Freelancer agents. If you found me, others could too."

That wasn't as informative of an answer as I was hoping for. I still had no clue if she knew I was a Recovery agent or not. I needed to give Command an update, but didn't feel secure doing it around Del. More likely than not she'd probably try to gun me down if I got on the radio with them. Or a worst case scenario, she'd think Wyoming and I were working together. Not very probable, but she seemed skittish enough to deem any possibility a likely outcome.

"Yet you're letting me hang around and track Wyoming with you," I pointed out, not about to tell her that her paranoia was unwarranted. I was the only Recovery agent out here after all. If anymore were showing up, I was sure the Director would keep me up-to-date with the situation.

"Yes, because I already know I can't take Wyoming by myself. Not even Rhode and I could do it together. But you were up on the board with him. We should have a better chance together."

I didn't know what a 'better chance' meant to her. Victory was still up in the air. Delaware had joked about my inability to use a sniper, but she had no idea how wrong she was. I'd been working my ass off with all models of the SRS for years now. It was just another gun in my vast arsenal. However I still wasn't as good as Wyoming was. No, if we really wanted to have that 'better chance' as Del had called it, we needed an advantage besides numbers that would assure us a win.

I just didn't plan on being around to get us that win.

The only thing I wanted to do was hunt down the twins and get on with my plan to get Psi back from the Meta.

"Yeah, that's true. I'm sure we'll be able to do what you and Rhode couldn't do. Wyoming always tended to think himself superior. That arrogance will get him killed."

Lies and truths danced around each other. But perhaps the lies to comfort someone weren't as bad as the ones meant to hurt. That's what I told myself as a minute amount of tension left her body and she barked at me to hurry up and eat.

We made it to her stash as the last rays of light fell from the sky. Crickets were chirping obliviously in the undergrowth, their tune a soft melody to harmonize with the breeze blowing through the trees. If I wasn't mistaking the scent, it seemed like there would be rain later on in the night. Delaware didn't seem to care about how calm it was around us. If anything she was wound tighter than a drum. She didn't stop to admire the flowers just blooming now that the sun had fallen, nor did she give a listen to the sounds nature was making around her. She unwaveringly wove through the trees until we came to a large willow tree. The terrain itself was uneven; from the looks of it a decent-sized stream had run through the area a long time ago. A very long time ago if the abundance of grass was any hint. There was nothing spectacularly out of place about Delaware's destination. Several other willows followed the line of the former stream, their great branches drooping with the weight of their leaves. However, it was the largest tree she came to, and on the stream bed next to a large root was a flat rock. The former Freelancer pulled it aside with ease, revealing a dark hole, clearly altered to make sure she could actually fit down into it.

"Wait here until I say you can come in," Delaware warned, that unfamiliar hardness back in her voice.

I wasn't about to argue with a woman that had a gun in her hands, so I raised my hands in surrender and stepped back to watch our surroundings, that SRS swinging back into in my grip. Unbidden, the memory of back on the Invention came back to me when Wyoming and North had taught me to use the gun in the first place. Both of them either separately or together had given me lessons, and I especially remembered the one where I'd been taught to shoot targets in close quarters. I'd especially honed that skill over the years. If it ever came down to the Meta and I in a fight, I wouldn't lose because I had piss-poor aim. I'd win because my aim was spot on.

"Ok! Come on down, 'Rado."

I was grateful for the distraction as I turned and entered Del's hiding place. It was brilliant, really. Nobody would be strong enough to lift the rock except for a Freelancer, and nobody would think to look underneath it anyway. Jumping down into the hole, I grunted at the impact with the ground before I stood up and looked around. Surprisingly, Del had a pretty sweet set up. She had storage crates that were labeled for their purpose, from weapons to ammo to armor. Hell, she even had a trunk for plain old clothes. Del was in the process of placing her armor into the labeled crate, having already changed into a plain set of cargo pants and an admittedly adorable hoodie. Which brought about an entirely new challenge.

"Hey Del, I don't exactly have a change of clothes. You're probably at least two sizes bigger than me."

"Big whoop," she replied back, tossing me a pair of simple blue skinny jeans, a belt, and a very clearly oversized sweatshirt. "We can get you more form-fitting stuff when we get to town."

I mused on that for a couple minutes. No way would I believe she was acquiring all her goods through legitimate channels. I seriously doubted she had a casual job on the side. Unless she part-timed as an assassin, which, as bad as it was, I actually would believe. But I saw this as an opportunity to get an inkling of what she had been doing these past couple years as well.

"So exactly how are we going to get new clothes? I don't exactly feel comfortable accessing my bank account on this planet with Wyoming here. If I was him, I'd be keeping an eye out for any potential subjects tailing me, which means keeping an eye on bank accounts and such, and since he has Gamma with him, that would be a piece of cake."

Del looked me over, and I could see suspicion dancing in those eyes.

"How do you know he still has Gamma?"

I put on my best 'are you kidding me?' look, trying to ignore the sudden, frantic pounding in my heart.

"I was there when the ship was attacked by Tex and York, remember? Maine didn't go after Wyoming."

"And how do you know that?" She half-demanded.

The pounding in my heart became a furious song. I could feel the blade of the Knifle again, hear my screams mixing with Psi's, feel that damning emptiness as he was ripped away… I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Because Maine went after me instead."

I left it at that, watching her eyes go from suspicious to guarded curiosity almost immediately. I knew the question that she'd ask next, and I just nodded. Those blue eyes immediately went somber as a scowl rippled across her face. Every Freelancer onboard the Invention knew who had gotten AIs. The partnerships were attractions of curiosity and speculation. But the ship had gone down before more AI could be handed out, nevermind the fact that Wash was still out of action after his interactions with the Epsilon AI. I almost forgot that I was going to lose Psi at some point anyway, but at least he wouldn't have been ripped away in the way he had been when the Meta came knocking with Sigma.

"Wyoming found us six months ago."

Del broke my silent brooding with her own olive branch of information. She didn't bother hiding her despair.

"We didn't even get a chance to fight back. One minute we were coming back here from town because Rhode spotted a tail on us. The next we were running for our lives. We didn't have our armor. We didn't have any weapons. Wyoming cut Rhode down before we made it here. I managed to hide before he came to find me. But I never forgot. And I will never forgive him."

There was raw hatred in her voice as she spoke about Wyoming. My mouth went dry with uncharacteristic nervousness at the sound of it. I didn't know if it was because the source of that feeling was Del, or if it was because I'd never spoken those words aloud about anybody. Not even Sigma and Maine, though I knew with every fiber of my being that Sigma was going to be dead and gone when I found him. But though I felt that way towards the rogue AI, I could not bring myself to feel the same level of hate for North or Maine, despite both of them betraying me in their own ways. I felt my resolve harden. I wouldn't leave Del in town. We'd find a way to take down Wyoming together, and in the process, I'd find the twins. Once I did that… well, what I was planning to do was still up in the air. At least as far as North was concerned. South, on the other hand, could rot for all I cared.

However, when we found Wyoming, I knew Del and I would have a problem. My orders were to give him one chance to come quietly. Her personal quest was to see him dead. How I'd handle that little issue would have to be very carefully considered. Judging from her reaction to my knowing about Gamma, she was unaware exactly who or what I was working for, if anyone. I really wanted to keep it that way considering her vitriol reaction to any Project ties, which meant ditching her in the city would have made an enemy out of her. I really didn't need any more enemies. To be fair, I don't know if I needed anymore friends either. Briefly, I could almost imagine Psi scolding me for thinking that way, as with all of my thoughts I knew he'd combat. My partner. I knew him so well that I could easily predict whole conversations in my head about certain topics or ideas.

Nostalgia and grief shook me to my core, but I refused to let that show in front of Del. She'd ask questions, and that was the last thing I needed, especially because I didn't know what answers I could give her that wouldn't compromise the small amount of trust she'd given me. Instead, I quietly acquiesced to her demand that I get into the casual clothing, keeping my undersuit on underneath it all. It wasn't armor, but the familiar feel of it was a comfort to going into town without any real protection. The most I had was one pistol, and I hoped Wyoming wouldn't show his face when I was underequipped.

Del climbed partway up the ladder she'd made and hummed in thought before she came down.

"Too dark now. We made good time, but there's no way we're going to make it into town right now. It's an hour-long walk, and there's scary shit in these woods at night."

Like the Recovery agent you hang out with and the three rogue Freelancers on planet? I highly doubt things could get much scarier unless the Covvies decided to show up and glass the planet. Not that I was wishing for that to happen or anything. Still, I found myself wondering what was out there that could spook Del, especially as she moved the rock to cover the entrance. Were it not for the small lantern she had, we would've been in complete darkness. The other woman put her weapon up and settled down on a worn cot, tossing a blanket over herself.

"You can have Rhode's bed. We'll leave at sunrise."

That was just what I was thinking. Pleased that Del hadn't lost a step of initiative, I placed my gun where I could easily grab it if required and flipped a spare blanket on myself after shaking it out. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep - it never had - but staying asleep was always a challenge. Nightmares constantly plagued me. I couldn't remember the last time I'd gotten a full night's sleep. Probably back when I still had North by my side, before Tex had escaped and Maine had gone batshit crazy thanks to Sigma's influence. I'd been toying with the idea of asking for some pills to help me sleep, but it looked like I'd have to go off of minimal sleep again.

Sure enough, I dreamed that night. I was back in that forsaken hangar on the Mother of Invention. The hull outside was licked in scarlet as we plummeted towards the surface of the planet, and if I tried hard enough, I knew I'd be able to smell the superheated metal. I was on the ground, still trying to recover from when Maine had thrown me into the floor with terrifying strength. Psi was roaring at me to get up, but I already knew how this was going to end. I had replayed that day in both reality and dreamland for the past two years. Each time it ended in me losing my best friend and my boyfriend. This was no exception. I didn't feel Maine's blade slice into my armor. I felt no pain until he went for Psi's chip, and then I couldn't stop screaming.

I bolted awake, breathing erratic and heart trying to burst from my chest. After two years of the same shit, I never understood why I wasn't used to the fear and pain. It remained the darkest skeleton in my closet, the one thing I couldn't bring myself to talk about to anybody. Even if North hadn't left, I don't even think I'd be able to relive the experience second by second to tell him exactly how I lost Psi. It was my ultimate failure, topping everything else I had done in life. I didn't bother trying to go back to sleep. I knew it was a futile task. Instead I found myself staying awake for however long it took for Del's internal clock to rouse her. The former Freelancer breathed out and stirred, groaning. I thought I heard her mumbling about someday having a normal sleeping schedule, and the thought nearly had a ghost of a smile flicker to my lips.

Instead, I swung myself off the cot and gathered my gun, tucking it into a concealed holster that Del tossed me. It was a casual silence as we prepared, and when she finally moved the rock, weak sunlight pouring in, she finally shot me a wry grin.

"Hope you're ready for Frozst. Just follow my lead. The city takes some getting used to."