Chapter 130 Paths Collide
Kara jerked up, sleep-dazed eyes trying to make sense of her surroundings. She'd been in a great chamber: vaulted ceiling slopping away, walls a mix of natural rock and dark metal and there had been an unnatural light that had left her squinting still, even as her mind tried to reconcile the fading image with the bars that closed in about her.
The sound of a hatch closing snapped her fully into the present and she recognized Galactica's brig.
Swinging her legs around to the edge of the bunk, Kara ignored the two figures beyond her cell door. With her head in her hands, she sought to hold onto the fragments of the dream that had been a reoccurring theme since she'd boarded the Heavy Raider. Yet, try as she might, only the impression of the vastness of the cavern and of small hands clasping her neck remained. The fear that she really didn't want to remember more sent a tremble along her limbs, and she instinctively shoved the uneasy images aside.
The scrape of a key in the lock pulled her head up. Lee entered even as she saw the guard lift the handset, and Kara ideally wondered if the man was calling the Old Man to confirm her right to have visitors. She stood and was relieved at how steady she felt now. How long had she slept? A frown firmed her lips as a sense of time slipping away twisted her stomach.
Gotta go back. I know I can find it again if only he'll let—
Her building agitation was interrupted as Lee stepped close.
"You look better."
Searching the familiar face for hints of what had passed while she'd slept, Kara noticed that the he was definitely looking worse for wear.
"Well, you look like crap, Maj—" she started, then broke off when the dress shirt and slacks he wore finally registered. Thinking back, she recalled him in a jocksmock in the hanger bay, but at some point he had changed into this civilian outfit before she'd reported to the Admiral's quarters. With everything else going on then, she'd been too distracted to comment at the time, but now all sorts of questions leapt to mind.
Warily now, "What's with the civies?" she asked. Emotions flicker across his face too quickly for her to name. Ok, now she really was concerned. "What the frak did you do, Lee?"
"I resigned." At her incredulous look, "I'm the official liaison between Galactica, the Fleet and the Cylons."
"So? You done that before. Doesn't mean you quit the Service," she said, her confusion evident in her expression.
"And before that nearly earned me a court martial, Kara," he grimly reminded her.
"Frak that, Lee!" She was starting to get pissed now. Here she was trying to get them all to Earth, and Lee was whining about the past and apparently bailing on the Fleet just when she needed his support. Her eyes narrowed as she snidely said, "You don't have to quit. Just don't shove a gun at the frakkin' XO this time!"
"I might have to."
"What?" Then her brow canted up in understanding. "The Colonel?"
"In the Cylon holding cell with the others. The Chief and Tory Foster, too," his clipped reply.
"The Admiral believed me then," she murmured, some of the sting in her torn lip and heart easing at the thought that the Old Man had taken action on her words. Maybe that meant he'd reconsidered her request for a Raptor, too. Her attention was pulled back to Lee as he shook his head.
"Tigh confessed," Lee said. "He went to my dad and told him about himself and the other two."
Right... He didn't believe me at all. Probably figured I was frakked in the head again.
As bitter disappointment drove her thoughts, Kara turned away to put some distance between her and Lee. But then, as the ramifications of what the loss of the XO meant, she twisted to face him again.
"All the more reason for you not to quit," she said, her tone accusing as she coldly eyed Lee.
"It's not quitting."
"Like hell it's not!"
She could read the growing anger in Lee's tensing shoulders as he began to snap out a cutting response, but then he instead paused and shook his head.
"No, Kara. I'm not doing this with you."
What the frak? What did he mean by that? Do what?
"Look. A lot has happened and I need to catch you up. So can we just…" the look he gave her now was imploring, "…just talk. Not argue for a change."
She was taken aback. Lee thought they were arguing? Why? All she'd said— Kara's gaze slid away as she shifted uncomfortably. Ok. So they had been. She had. What did he expect of her, stuck here when she should be out searching for the way to Earth again.
As she guiltily met his gaze this time, she felt pulled into their depths, the sensation eerily like what she'd experienced when faced with the reality of her childhood visions. On a breath, she caught her lower lip between her teeth and swallowed. There was too much to do. Still so much to deal with before she could even consider how at this moment she wanted so very badly to step into Lee's arms and feel them close about her.
And there was Sam.
Sam the Cylon.
Abruptly she felt the urge to laugh and her snort sounded overly loud in the quiet of the brig.
Gods! Do I know how to pick 'em!
Waving a hand at Lee's perplexed look as she continued to chortle, Kara realized that what Sam was didn't really bother her anymore. Somehow, accepting the truth of her feelings for the man she'd married and the reasons for that marriage had eased the twisted knot in her heart. She'd made a decision that no matter what happened, her future wasn't with Sam. In many ways it was like that New Caprican morning when the Colonel had suggested that she decide on a direction and then stick to it. Only that time, she had been basing her course on avoidance. So much since had changed how she dealt with those internal fears. For one thing, she had vowed that she was done with running. That much at least she had gained from her ordeals she told herself.
"Kara?"
"Sorry, just—" another amused snort, "just give me a sec." Again she waved Lee away when he would've grasped her shoulders. Finally she stood with her arms loosely crossed and took internal stock. The stress-induced irritation had completely fled and she felt ready to deal not just with Lee, but with whatever had been going on during her confinement.
"Are you Ok?" he hesitantly asked, concern drawing his brows down.
"Getting there, I think." And for a moment it felt true. But then the image of Leoben's final death splashed across her memory and she flinched, retreating a step in reaction.
"Hey?"
Blinking several times, she sought Lee's steadying gaze and lifted her chin.
"So if you're a flyboy no more, tell me what new tune this job's got you dancing to?" she hurriedly said, mentally grounding herself with his presence. Kara could read the indecision in his look as he debated whether to press…or take her cue to let it go. Thankfully he chose the later and filled her in on the arrest of the three revealed Cylons, the Admiral's confession to the Raptor pilots and his own interrogations up to that point.
"I've just got two to finish now."
Knowing which pair he still had to debrief, Kara said, "I want to be there." She could read the instant refusal in his face and hurried on. "You need me. I'll know if Sam's lying," but even as she spoke, the reality that he'd been a Cylon all along and she'd never suspected it tightened her throat. Sam might insist that he didn't discover his nature until recently, but a part of Kara whispered that she should have guessed—there had to have been signs. Swallowing against the restriction, "I can help," she said
Lee ran an agitated hand through his hair before finally answering, "No, Kara."
"Lee, I—"
"You're too much of a distraction."
"That's a good thing," she impatiently said, moving closer. "Keep him off balance."
"For me." A hand rose to lightly brush a straying wisp of hair from her eyes. "Too much of a distraction for me, Kara," he said as his hand came to rest on her shoulder where it sloped into her neck. He gave a gentle squeeze.
She didn't move away, but searched his face for any hint of an ulterior motive for his refusal. Was this just some excuse because he didn't trust her? She'd certainly got enough of that from the Admiral and Roslin. Yet nothing in Lee's open expression hinted at that; instead, what she saw spread a tingling warmth along her skin and she suddenly found it difficult to hold his gaze. Unsettled, she shifted from under his palm and tried to ignore the flash of disappointment in his eyes at her withdrawal.
"Fine. Whatever," she said, her hands coming to her hips. "So, I'm stuck in here until when?"
As the hatch clacked open behind him, Lee glanced back and she saw Mathias step over the brig's threshold. The woman was trying to stifle a yawn as she gave a brief nod to the duty guard as she stopped in front of the cell.
"Seriously, Lee?" demanded Kara as the reason for the female Marine's presence sunk in.
"Admiral's order." He gave her an apologetic look. "You're released into the Sergeant's charge."
Kara's temper ignited again at this new proof of the senior Adama's mistrust. Shifting her glare to the man before her. "What the frak more does he want, Lee? You said the Colonel confessed. Backed my story. So why the hell do I need a babysitter again!"
"It's just temporary." He turned his palms over in a placating gesture. "Just until things settle out between the Fleet and the Cylons." Then abruptly realizing how what he'd said sounded, "The rebels. I mean the rebels, Kara," he quickly corrected. "just until we can figure out if this alliance offer of theirs is genuine."
She let her gaze flick from Lee to Mathias and wondered what the Sergeant thought about having to resume the chore of acting as Kara's handler. The other woman met her look stoically, an attitude that seemed to be her default. Grinding her teeth, Kara supposed that it was better than being stuck in the brig. At least this way she could seek out the President and get her take on what was happening. Maybe even get her to pressure the Admiral to give the go-ahead for a return trip to the algae planet.
Thoughts of Laura led Kara back to her own confusing reactions to Leoben and her gaze slid guiltily away from the pair's scrutiny.
"So, what's the plan?" she stiltedly asked. "Do I get my old rack back or sleep here?" Kara was sardonically certain that she wasn't going to be offered the Admiral's couch this time.
"Neither. I thought it'd be best for you to bunk in my quarters." As her eyebrows shot up, "I'll sleep elsewhere," Lee hastily added.
"You don't have to do that," she said, though, for a moment she envisioned sharing his double-sized rack and could feel a flush heat her skin. She hoped it didn't make it to her face. "I can crash here," she clarified. Was there a touch of color along his neck, too? Before she could pursue that thought, he spoke.
"You can't. We need the space." Her questioning look demanded an explanation. On a sigh, "I'm putting D'Anna in here," he said. When she gave a sharp bark of laughter, he twitched in surprise.
"She not playing well with others again?"
"Got it in one." He grinned in relief at her reaction. "I thought a timeout was in order."
Her expression sobered. "You're right then. Probably best I be elsewhere."
"I'm right?" he prompted, and Kara felt her lips curve up at his teasing tone.
"It had to happen eventually, Lee," she quipped back, the familiar banter chasing away the shadows that thoughts of the Three had cast. "So, you posting my bail or what?"
"You're in luck, they took an IOU, so consider yourself sprung." He signaled for Mathias to open the door and Kara sauntered through ahead of him.
"Breakfast, Captain?"
At Mathias' suggestion, Kara glanced back to Lee. His brief reply of "Can't" reminded her that he was off to meet with the Colonel and Sam. He gave her an awkward smile and turned down the side corridor. For a moment she was tempted to follow. Instead, with a grimace, she led her Marine shadow off in the direction of the mess.
[ ]
After finishing her first meal of the processed algae—Ugh, that stuff was foul!—Kara resolutely set her steps towards sickbay. Considering how uneasily the mash sat in her stomach, she wouldn't have been surprised if the others from the mess followed her down. As amusing as the image was of Cottle trying to deal with the crowd, it couldn't distract her long from the real purpose of her destination.
She'd learned from Mathias that Laura Roslin was in sickbay. It didn't take much to get out of the Sergeant a guess as to why. Apparently news that the President's cancer had returned had swept across the fleet even ahead of Baltar's 'not guilty' verdict.
Now Kara wondered if the gods had thrust the role of dying leader upon Laura once more. And if so, how much time did she have? Surely the President would have to see now that it was imperative for Kara to begin her search as soon as possible. With these thoughts spurring her on, Kara increased her pace.
A quick survey of the visible beds didn't reveal the auburn-haired woman. Realizing that, of course, the Doc would provide the President with what privacy was available, Kara headed toward the isolation units and spotted a cubicle with its curtains pulled shut.
She paused, trying to decide how to announce herself.
"Captain, are you certain you should disturb the President?" The quietly spoken question from behind her reminded Kara of her escort's presence.
Before she could answer, "Speak up," came a slightly querulous order from beyond the plastic and blue folds shielding the occupant.
With a shrug for the Sergeant's concern, Kara said, "Are you decent?" and grinned as Mathias rolled her eyes in exasperation at her charge's lack of proper decorum.
"In a manner, but if that's you, Captain Thrace, you may enter," the now amused voice responded, and Kara parted the protective sheeting to step within the niche of seclusion they'd created.
She didn't notice Mathias slide through behind and draw the coverings closed again. Her gaze was fixated on the woman in the bed and the lines of IVs and monitors attached here and there. Her chest tightened and it was suddenly difficult to breathe.
Blinking, Kara realized that Laura had been calling her name repeatedly and she drew an unsteady breath.
"Kara?"
At the rising concern in Laura's voice, Kara shook off the visions of what her mother's last days must have been.
"Sorry." Her apology sounded distant to her own ears. Meeting Laura's worried look, she berated herself for the lapse and gave the woman a tight smile before saying, "You been missing Cottle's bedside manner that much or just hoping they feed the patients real food here?"
Laura looked perplexed for a moment then tilted her head slightly. "That's right. You disappeared before the harvest," she murmured. Then the look she gave Kara turned speculative. "There are some inconsistencies in your story, Captain. I'd like to address those."
"Inconsistencies, Madam President?" Kara warily asked.
"Specifically the timeline." At Kara's uncertain expression, "You claim that you went from the radiation storm to Earth, then back and finally jumped after the Fleet to the rendezvous point over the algae planet. And you say that we were gone when you arrived; the Cylons having driven us away." At Roslin's pause, Kara nodded, wondering what the woman was getting at. Her confusion grew as Laura continued. "And to you, this only took hours."
"Some six and change," she confirmed.
"You were missing close to a week, Captain, before the Cylons arrived."
"A week? No, I—"
"More precisely, four days," stated Laura firmly. "We'd just completed the harvest when the basestars jumped in."
Four days…
No. It wasn't possible.
Kara remembered checking the Raptor's clock when she'd woken after her first trip through the mandala. She'd only been unconscious for some two hours, and though the following time was hazy in her memory, she was sure that her survey of Earth's system hadn't taken more than three or four additional hours. And she certainly hadn't spent but moments back in the radiation storm or her wrist badge would've been red…and she wouldn't be standing here now.
No. For some reason the President was lying. She had to be.
Kara twisted to face Mathias to demand that the Sergeant account for what really had happened, but, at the Marine's confirming nod, a wave of vertigo had Kara reaching for the bed's foot railing. A steadying hand lightly grasped her elbow.
What the frak was going on? Why were they lying to her? And they had to be, for if they weren't...
Shaking loose of the contact, Kara backed away, her suspicious glare flitting between the figure on the bed and Mathias. When her retreat was impeded by the flimsy barrier of fabric, she halted but continued to glower at the pair.
"You really don't remember." Laura's statement brought Kara's eyes to her. "What did they do to you, Kara?"
She was about to snap out an accusation when Mathias spoke.
"We had a memorial service for you."
As the words registered, Kara shivered. A memorial service. That meant that they'd been certain she had died. And more importantly, it made her realize that they couldn't possibly have convinced Galactica's entire population to support their story. Even if she chose not to believe the Sergeant, all she had to do was question others among the crew or in Dogsville. Someone would let something slip. There was no way—unless what Roslin said was the truth.
Four days.
Kara crossed her arms, hunching in on herself as she raked through mental images. Could she be wrong? Had Leoben found her before she had jumped back to the Fleet? She'd lost time on the basestar while recovering from the effects of the stims and radiation, but she'd been sure that she'd been captured after ditching on the algae planet.
Then a memory filled her senses: that of falling from the Raptor's wing to the hard ground below and a jarring impact, of coughing as she choked on swirling dust and the violent retching that followed after. She remembered crawling into the shade cast by the shuttle before finally collapsing. Though hazy, the sensory details seemed so real. Could the Cylons have possibly implanted it all in her mind? And if they had, how was she to separate reality from whatever they'd programmed her to believe?
Harsh breathing filled her ears and it took a moment to recognize it as her own.
"I-I-I don't…" she began, then trailed off. If what she thought she knew wasn't to be trusted, then what now? Was Earth even real? Maybe the Cylons had caught up with her in the radiation storm and there never had been a mandala at all. Could they have found a way to rape her obsessive fascination of the motif and twisted it into a false trail meant to lead the remainder of the human race into an ambush? But if it had all been a setup then bastards should have attacked when the Fleet's power had gone down. She grudgingly supposed that if the Cylons hadn't been responsible for the weird outage then they might not have been prepared to take advantage when it happened. Was it possible that the disruption had been just a naturally occurring phenomenon?
No closer to any answers and with these new doubts mocking her, Kara lifted a troubled gaze to Laura's appraising one. "I don't know," she repeated and watched older woman purse her lips in thought. As Roslin shifted, trying to sit up further, Kara resisted the impulse to assist her.
What if I'm programmed to kill her...
The idea that she could be a threat to the President, that she might have some subconscious instructions to shoot her, rooted Kara in place. Forcing her limbs to unclench, she reminded herself that she wasn't Boomer, that she wasn't some windup Cylon toy. But she still held to her spot and uneasily watched as Mathias moved to trigger the bed's controls, raising the head until Roslin waved for her to stop at the desired height.
During the distraction, Kara gave the President an assessing scan of her own. Despite all the medical paraphernalia, the woman didn't really look ill. Maybe Cottle had caught it early enough to treat this time. She wondered if she dared ask. Before she could decide, Laura's attention had shifted back to her.
"Let's go over what you remember, Kara."
She worried her lower lip before taking a breath and related again everything she could recall up to the last jump to the Ionian Nebula. Laura occasionally asked for clarifying details, but otherwise kept remarkable quiet throughout; her expression too closed off for Kara to read.
"We jumped to the Ionian Nebula. I hoped to either get there ahead of the Fleet or find some indication of where the Admiral might've gone next," Kara said, then fell silent, watching for Roslin's reaction. The woman pursed her lips again as she lightly tapped one finger in thought.
"When did you kill Leoben?"
The question caught her off-guard. It shouldn't have she supposed, but she had been so focused on trying to determine if any of her memories seemed like they might have been altered that she'd avoided thoughts of the Two…and what had happened on the Cylon shuttle. As his name dropped into the space between them, Kara flinched.
"When?" Laura pressed.
"I didn't," she admitted finally, her gaze sliding away. She couldn't meet Laura's anymore as the moments in the Raider played again through her mind. Why hadn't she shot Leoben? The remembered feel of the pistol in her damp palm still mocked her. If she needed proof that the Cylons had frakked with her head, surely her not pulling the trigger and finishing him was enough. Her gut clenched and nausea brought the taste of bile to the back of her throat.
"You didn't? You mean you didn't kill him?" At Kara's jerky nod, still refusing to lift her gaze, Laura asked the obvious follow up, "Then who did?" only to immediately answer it herself, "Sam?" Kara's silence seemed confirmation enough, for Laura said instead, "But you wanted to," as if that, too, were a foregone conclusion.
This time some of the conflicting emotions that churned within her must have been visible, for Laura abruptly flipped the blanket aside and slid to the edge of the bed. Startled, Kara's head came up and she found her eyes held by brown ones that dared her to look away. She swallowed, unable to find an answer within herself that sounded truthful.
And she interpreted the consternation in Laura's next words as an accusation.
"After what he put you through?"
After what he put you through…
Flashes of the cell brought a fine sheen of perspiration to her skin and yet Kara felt a shiver of cold pass down her spine.
Then she was back in the apartment standing at the base of the stairs staring up at the door she knew would be locked.
What…?
No… No, no, no, no!
It's not real!
Yet, when she reached her hand out, the railing felt cool and firm beneath her palm.
Kara slowly turned, looking for him.
Her shallow breathing faltered as she spotted Leoben leaning against the bedroom's door frame. And then her gaze caught movement from behind him as Kacey shifted into view. Still hugging the Two's leg, the child lowered the pinkie finger she'd had in her mouth and said hopefully, "Kawa?"
As Kara's eyes darted from the little girl to the man at her side, she saw the corners of Leoben's mouth lift in the familiar expression that had haunted so many of her nights.
"Welcome home."
His greeting was filled with the same insufferable complacence that had triggered her rage so many times on New Caprica. Yet now, watching him drop a hand tenderly to the child's blonde curls, Kara felt a longing for…something. The domesticality of the scene should set her teeth on edge, should have had her clawing at the door for a way out. Then why did a part of her find it comforting instead?
What the frak's wrong with me!
"I'm not here," she tried to deny.
Leoben just gave her that knowing smile and shifted his gaze to the child. With a gentle push, "Kacey, go say hello," he urged. The girl looked up questioningly, then at his nod, took a hesitant step forward.
Unable to hold herself indifferent from Kacey's shy smile, Kara dropped to her knees, her arms opening of their own accord. At the invitation, the child scampered across the remaining distance and threw tiny arms around Kara's neck, giggling delightedly as she was lifted in a tight hug.
With her face buried in soft locks that smelled of the familiar strawberry shampoo Leoben had scavenged from somewhere, Kara wondered how this could possibly be happening. The child's weight in her arms certainly felt real enough. As did the small heels that poked into her hipbones.
Yet only moments ago she'd stood in sickbay…hadn't she?
Kara wet her lips, trying to compare this flashback to the others she'd had since returning to Galactica. Each time before she'd felt the sense that the scene had played out before; known subconsciously that it was a memory resurfacing. And this wasn't a nightmare either. Those always had a hazy feel to them, like she was experiencing them with the lack of one sense or another.
This was different.
But…maybe not for the first time.
Kara fought to untangle the muddle of past memories. Among them she found a few that didn't fit what she'd come to recognize as either flashbacks or nightmares; times when what she'd experienced had surpassed a level of reality that left her reeling in confusion afterwards. There was Gauis on Colonial Day, the reality of which she'd excused away as too much ambrosia morosely downed in the wake of Lee's humiliating desertion. Then again on New Caprica when Leoben had taken her in the cell. She'd known—been absolutely certain—that it was Lee that moved above and within her in that moment. The shock on realizing otherwise had driven her so deeply into darkness that she still didn't recall anything of the days that followed. Laura had passed off that incident as the result of the physical and mental abuse she'd been subjected to. She'd just been confused. Wasn't that what Laura had said? What Kara had tried to convince herself since?
Now she started to doubt that as other long forgotten—or suppressed—memories came to the fore. Hours spent locked in a dark closet where she'd found a way to escape that her mother could never have suspected.
The memories were too much. It was all too much. Too disorientating when she could distinctly feel the warmth of Kacey's soft body nestled in her arms.
Struggling to ground herself, Kara knew that she was either with Laura in Galactica's lifestations…or back in the apartment on New Caprica.
Perhaps she had never left.
Perhaps you didn't want to, a small voice taunted.
Fractured by opposing desires, Kara squeezed her eyes tightly shut. When she dared to open them again, her arms ached for what they'd lost as she took in the blue curtains of sickbay. When her drifting gaze settled on the figure now standing beside the bed, she recognized a very worried Laura holding the call button and looking ready to summon help. A glance to the side and she realized that Mathias stood a bare stride away, paused with a hand extended as if uncertain if it was safe to touch her.
"Are you back? Laura quietly asked, then more firmly, "Kara?"
As it dawned on her that she must have been unresponsive for a length of time to prompt such a reaction, Kara searched for some answer that wouldn't confirm just how batshit crazy she really was. A shrug was the best she could find…and by Laura's frown, it wasn't nearly enough.
Acutely shaken and unwilling to explain what had just happened, she sought to turn the focus.
"You shouldn't be up. Cottle'll have my hide for bothering you."
Several beats passed as Kara felt Laura's sharp gaze trying to penetrate her mask. There wasn't anything she could do about what either woman had seen or heard before, but she sure as frak wasn't about to give the President any more ammunition to use against her. For there was one certainty that she had gotten from the-the…vision, and that was that the mess in her mind was all her own. And had been so for a very long time. She still needed to sort things out, but she was now gut-positive that her jump through the mandala was real.
Just as her finding Earth was real.
As for the rest—well, she didn't have an explanation for the time discrepancy, but she had to believe in what she'd seen. Had to. The alternative was putting a gun to her own head. For if the Cylons did control what she thought, then she was a danger to all she still cared for.
Her jaw began to ache from how tightly she had it clamped. Eying the older woman that still regarded her with a searching look, Kara realized that it was too late to look for an ally there. She'd just have to convince the Admiral to give her a Raptor…or find another way to procure a ship. Kara's expression turned mulish…and easily discernible now by Roslin as the woman resumed her seat on the edge of the bed.
In response to Kara's obvious evasion, "Doctor Cottle's occupied comparing DNA samples," Laura blandly countered. A pause before she added, "He's interested to see if these latest five vary in any manner from the others."
Kara nodded as if she really cared a flying fig about what the Doc was up to, just so long as he wasn't poking her with any damned needles…or any of his as sharply pointed questions. But of course, that also meant that her hopes of an distraction in the form of the crotchety physician sauntering in and throwing her ass out wasn't about to happen either.
Never around when you frakkin' need him, she grumbled silently.
Her attention swept back to Laura as the woman set the call button aside and adjusted her glasses before speaking again. "I've been having the most disconcerting dreams lately," Roslin off-handedly said. "In fact, I'd just had one when you arrived."
Kara wondered where she was going with this.
"Sorry," she warily offered, thinking that maybe she was irritated at Kara for interrupting her sleep. But her apology was waved aside by the older woman.
"You didn't wake me. I just thought you'd find my dream perhaps…interesting."
Shifting on her feet, Kara wasn't sure what to say. That wasn't anything new, though, so she gave a half-shrug and neutrally responded, "Maybe," and waited.
"It's always the same these days." Laura's eyes slipped out of focus as she spoke. "I'm somewhere with long passages, and I hear footsteps. Children's footsteps. And they're running." A flicker of fear crosses the older woman's face and Kara wonders if she's scared for—or of—the children in her vision. The answer comes when she continues. "They must be so terrified. Lost and alone. I try to find them." A short pause. "Then I'm on the mezzanine of an entry hall looking across at an identical one. There's a figure there, leaning on the railing, calling frantically down at something I can't see. Everything's hazy at first. It's only when Chief Tyrol joins her that I realize that it's Sharon opposite from me. That's when I look down…and I see them. It's Hera and Galen's child."
Ah shit! I didn't even… If the Chief's a skinjob, then his kid's a hybrid. Just like Hera. Cally's gotta be freaking.
Worry for how the petite Specialist was handling the discovery that she'd married a Cylon distracted Kara. She suddenly felt guilty for not having given much thought about how the others were dealing with the reveal of the remaining five. And after all the support the younger woman had given her, it made Kara sick to think what she was going through. Was this the Cylons' Plan B then? If their attempts at procreation via the Farms on Caprica were a failure, was this their surrogate strategy?
Her stomach twisted at the possibility that Galen—and Sam—had been inserted into the Fleet for the purpose of scoring a mate to pop out little half-breeds. Though something about that didn't make sense, Kara reasoned. Sam could've been a plant with that goal in mind, but the Chief? He'd been with the Fleet for years; surely long before the Cylons had learned that their efforts to produce children through other means was futile, right?
Preoccupied by the tangent her thoughts had taken, it took Kara a moment to realize that Laura had continued.
"…unning and I knew I had to follow," Laura was saying, then paused, frustration visibly thinning her lips. "I tried, but they were always disappearing around a corner just ahead of me. Sometimes I'd catch glimpses of Sharon or Tyrol down side corridors and I felt this urgency to find the children first."
Thinking about the President's decision to fake Hera's death and how much pain it had caused Karl and Sharon, Kara rather hoped that Roslin didn't succeed. Abruptly realizing what she'd just thought, she scoffed at herself. It was only a Chamalla-induced dream—probably. It had to be, right?
"At this point things start to get hazy again."
"Tripping on herbs'll do that," Kara muttered, only coming to the conclusion that she'd said it outloud when Laura gave her a reproving look.
Oh…frak.
She considered apologizing, but knowing her mouth, she'd just make it worse so said nothing.
"I've had visions before," Laura frostily reminded her.
With a slight nod, Kara conceded the point and at the same time grimly wondered how much longer she was going to have to stay and listen when she should be off pressing the Admiral for a Raptor. She suppressed the urge to huff out a exasperated sigh. Despite her efforts, though, Laura obviously still read the impatience in her countenance.
"I would think you'd show some interest."
"Why?" Kara bluntly asked, then felt a disturbing premonition that she didn't really want to know. When Roslin continued, her unease seemed confirmed.
"Because I'm pretty certain you're in it."
Right. It wasn't enough that the gods had shown her Earth only to then frak the Raptor's systems…and the coordinates she needed to lead the Fleet back. No. Now they'd cast her in some role in Roslin's visions again. And that had worked out so well last time, she sarcastically thought. A part of her felt guilty for blaming the gods, but a louder portion reminded her of all she'd already been through, and she wondered just how much blood, sweat and damage was enough to the satisfy the deities she looked to.
Turning her back, Kara moved towards the slit in the curtain only to halt as Laura called her name. She stood with hands on hips, her head dropping as she closed her eyes; the urge to run fighting with the pull of the woman behind her.
"We each have our role to play," Laura's quiet voice came to her. Then a little harsher, "Would you rather trade places?" and there wasn't any way for Kara to answer that. She bit her lip and blinked against the sting in her eyes. So it was true. The cancer's return could only mean one thing…and obviously Laura didn't expect Cottle's treatments to do more than delay that outcome.
Spinning to face her, Kara lifted her chin and faced the woman that Pythia's prophesies had ordained to be the dying leader. She didn't speak and Laura took her staying as indication enough to continue.
"Each time before, I'd lose track of the children and then wake. Today the dream went further," Laura said. "I remember rounding a corner and seeing the children on either side of a kneeling figure. They're facing a huge doorway, so all I see at first are their backs, but then, with a child settled on each hip, the figure stands… It's you, Kara."
With the sensation of Kacey's arms around her neck still so painfully fresh, Roslin's words were like salt on a reopened wound.
"You're wrong," she ground out, crossing her arms in an attempt to push away how empty they felt.
Laura was silent for a long moment, and Kara could practically see her considering and discarding various arguments in her head. Well, she could just keep on doing so as far as Kara was concerned! Then her thoughts shifted to Galactica's daycare and a certain unfinished painting, it's undercoat a mix of colors applied with random glee by a tiny blonde. She swallowed and wet her lips. Helo probably had given her supplies away once he'd believed her dead. With a mental shake, she decided it didn't matter. There was no way she could risk seeing Kacey again. Why would she want to have anything to do with noisy, messy rugrats anyways? Hanging out with Helo, and by extension his kid, was one thing, but that was the end of any contact she wanted with any child, she told herself, desperate to reject the longing she'd felt just moments ago.
Deciding she'd fulfilled her duty, Kara swiveled to leave, only to realize that the Sergeant's position was now effectively blocking her path. She glared at the woman when Mathias didn't immediately shift aside to make way.
From over her shoulder, "There was a child with you when you returned from New Caprica," she heard Laura say, and to Kara's ears it sounded like an indictment. Kacey was about the only thing she had successfully kept hidden from Laura during their 'sessions' together. She had let slip the little girl's role in Leoben's mindfraks to Colonel Tigh—and later to Lee—but she'd always managed to steer Roslin away from that sensitive subject.
Now, as her wary gaze met her guard-slash-attendant-slash-something, she wondered if the Sergeant had shared with the woman in the bed any of what she'd overheard of Kara's confession to the XO. As if reading her thoughts, Mathias gave the barest shake of her head. It came as a relief that at least the President didn't know how Kara had been willing on New Caprica to do whatever the Cylons demanded if it meant protecting Kacey. If Roslin thought she could be manipulated by such pressure, she'd have that much less reason to trust Kara's account of what had happened to her over the past month.
She decided her best course of action was to ignore Laura's speculative probe.
Refusing to turn or answer, Kara stared past the Marine at the cubicle's fabric and plastic barrier. A frustrated sigh came from behind her.
"We will discuss this soon, Captain Thrace," The President's tone making it clear that she wasn't letting the matter drop, merely setting is aside until later. But she appeared to have decided to let Kara escape…for now, at least. Sergeant Mathias also heard the dismissal and swung out of her path. Without glancing back at either of the women, Kara stalked out, knowing that her shadow would be just a few steps behind.
Enough of this useless shit about dreams.
She had an Admiral to convince.
And as Kara strode quickly from sickbay, she stamped down on the whisper that said she was running again from something that could never be outraced.
A/N: This chapter was not beta-ed. It took longer to complete due to time I put into making a Kara/Lee fanvid, so I wanted to post asap. And remember that reviews are a good thing! :)