Jade's POV

I walk into my next class and it's empty like I hoped. Lunch wasn't over for another 10 minutes, so I had some time to think. I pull my cell phone from my pocket and send a text to Andre. I need you to come to shicowitz class right now. So hurry your ass up. I had to tell Andre what I had done. It was an accident. I hadn't meant to tell Tori about me and Andre. The remorse I was feeling was making me sick. Why did I even agree to talk to Tori in the first place? "Because you still love him." My mind screams at me.

I sit down in one of the chairs knowing that my self conscience was right. I hadn't realized that I had feelings for him until him and Tori got together. Seeing the way he kissed her and held her brought back so many memories good and bad. Memories I had locked away a long time ago. His lips, soft but firm. His sweet manly scent. Man I loved the way he smelled. The strength of arms around when I cried. It seemed like yesterday. I meet Andre when he transferred to my middle in 8th grade. He was small and skinny but cute all the same. Back then I was all puppies and rainbows, makes me sick to think I was ever that naive. But anyway, me and Andre had choir together. I thought it was fate when our teacher paired us for a project. He came over to my house that afternoon and told him I thought he was cute then I kissed him. We started dating the next day. He was my first love and I was his.

Right before school ended for the year I started talking about having sex. At first he refused saying we were to young but I can be very convincing at times. We tried it one time and after that we were both hooked. We had sex every time we got the chance. He was my world and I was his. Things were going well for us until everything changed.

The summer before 9th grade year my grandpa died. My grandpa was some one who I had always been close to. He had always been there when I had a problem and now he was gone. It hurt me more anything. Even though Andre had been there to help me through it I couldn't cope. I started to change. I started to shun people thinking that if I didn't let them in they couldn't hurt me. I dumped Andre thinking he would hurt me to. After that I went numb. I started being mean to people and they would leave me alone but not Andre. He was still my friend. He knew I had changed and he didn't mind. All the while I loved him but I was afraid.

But then Beck came. He wouldn't stop talking to me. At first I tried to insult him, it didn't work. I tried to ignore him but he started to grow me. We started dating; he helped me keep my mind off the painful things. The painful things I had put in a mental box where they couldn't hurt me. When I talked to Tori today it was like the box came open and I was hurt again. I hated feeling so weak. Just the thought of him touching her like he once touched me was making me sick to my stomach. It could have been anybody else but her. I could handle seeing him with anyone else. She had already tried to take Beck from me now she had Andre.

I had promised Andre that I would try to be civil when talking to Tori. I never meant for me and Andre's past to come out. I don't think. I mean I still love Andre but did I subconsciously tell Tori to ruin his relationship just so I wont have to see them together? Now that I think about that would be a brilliant idea. No it cant because I don't think I could stand seeing him so hurt. I maybe a bitch but I'm not heartless. I look at my phone only five minutes left. I hear the door open. I turn around to see Andre's shining brown eyes.

"What's up Jade? What did Tori say?"

"She said she is scared." I say deciding not to tell him the truth.

"Scared of what?"

"Of fucking you." Andre is silent for a minute.

"Can you not call it that? It's called making love. Is that all she said?"

"Yea what ever you say."

"Thanks Jade." he says as he grabs me and embraces me quickly. I try to act like I don't want him touching me but inside I was on fire. It only a last minute but I savor it. He turns to leave. I know that he is going to see her. I could let him leave and walk up to her thinking everything is ok. I know that this goes against everything I believe in but I'm going to tell the truth because this is Andre. The one I was still in love with.

"Andre." I say as he makes it to the door. He stops. "I told her about us." He turns around quickly.

"You did what!" He explodes.

"I didn't mean to it just kinda slipped out."

"Jade do you even know how much..." He stops and takes a deep breath. "You know I cant even be mad because I should have expected this from you. I know you were doing me a favor but Jade why did you have to tell her? This is going to make shit so much harder for me."

"I know but she was going to find out sooner or later."

"I know but I wanted to tell her on my own time." He stops for a minute and asks "Have you told Beck about us?"

I'm slow to answer. "No."

"Why not?"

"I don't think that informing my current boyfriend that his best friend is the one I lost my virginity to and why haven't you told Tori about us?"

"I don't know. I mean there are a lot of bad things going on with Tori right now and I don't want to add to that."

"So you're saying the things we did were bad? So I was just some lay for you Andre?"

"Where did you get that from? I never said I would never hurt you. I loved you Jade."

My heart aches at the word loved. I start to feel that hurt that was locked away resurfacing.

"Bullshit! Screw you and screw this." I lash out at him. I storm from the room on the way to the parking lot. I feel the sting of tears forming in my eyes but they do not fall. Crying showed weakness and I was not weak. I hop into my car and turn the key. I turn on the music and crank it as loud as it will go but I don't hear a word of it as I zoom down the street. All I hear is his voice repeating "I loved you Jade." and the tearing of my heart.

A/N I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I had a hard time with this chapter. I guess because Jade is mean person but she is also complex. I was trying to capture that in this chapter. So tell me how I did. I have also formatted the story different for all the people who had a hard time reading it. As always reviews are welcome. =)