Stephanie Meyer owns all. Please excuse my mistakes. For the purpose of this story only Sam and Paul were wolves before Bella left. Though I have posted this story on a different site before, I have changed a lot of things in it. I have also cleaned up a lot of the grammar. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I will also be taking a few stories down from itsonlynatural so they can be cleaned up and some taken in a different direction to get out of the corner we wrote ourselves into. There will be more than one writer in this droup.

To Hurt To Heal

Chapter Two

(Bella's POV)

A Slight Crack In The Armor

There was no one out front when we pulled up in front of their home. My eyes drank it in. I never truly realized how much this little place had come to mean to me, and how much I missed it, the garage is a different matter, it used to mean just as much but now, just looking at it hurts my heart and I can just imagine what it would be like if I actually had to go, that is one place I might truly break down in and all my hard won convictions and courage will be thrown out the window.

The memories of that day tried to take over my thoughts, but I forcible pushed it back, there is no way I will break down here, especially here, though I know there will be some water works when I'm finally back home, in my bedroom where no one can see or hear me.

"You coming Bella?" My dad asked, breaking me from my thoughts. Damn, I forgot he was here, I turned and looked at him, hoping my face didn't show the pain I was feeling, I felt relieved when I saw that he was smiling. "I know everyone is dying to see you." Then his smile slipped just a little. "Especially Jacob, he was really broken up when you left, especially without saying goodbye." Then he unbuckled his seat belt and exited the car.

I barely stopped myself from saying something sarcastic; I just nodded and did the same. When we got to the front door, I took a deep breath as my dad knocked, praying that Jacob wasn't the one that answered the door. It slowly opened and was relieved to see Billy at the door. I had no anger towards him; I actually missed besides, he wasn't responsible for the actions of his son.

"Hey Charlie." He greeted with a smile

"Hey old man. Everybody out back?" He asked stepping around him

"Yeah, you go ahead, while I say hello to this beautiful woman behind you." Billy replied, smiling wider. "Come down here and give me a hug."

I smiled, bent down, and hugged him. "Hey Billy, I missed you." I didn't realize until this minute just how much, he was like a second father to me and I felt bad for not saying goodbye to him before I left, he deserved better than that, but I couldn't take the chance of running into Jacob that day, I felt too raw and broken open.

He squeezed me a little, before letting me up. "You were surely missed around here." Then he looked at me in a way I would call calculating. "Jacob didn't know what to do with his self; he thought he might have done something to make you leave."

He did! The thought screamed in my head, he deserves to suffer and more. "Really?" I replied s little too sarcastically. "I wonder why?"

He did not respond to my tone but by his look, I knew he wanted to continue this subject, so I looked towards the back and brought a smile to my face, hoping he didn't see through the fakeness of it. "Mmmm, something smells good. Is that ribs I smell?" I asked with a forced cheerfulness.

He knew what I was doing, I could never fool Billy or my dad, but because they cared, they never called me on it, knowing I would tell them whatever was wrong when I was ready, but not this time, not ever, not about this. He took a deep breath, shook his head. I guess he realized I wasn't going to tell him the reason for my quick escape. There were times I would talk to him about things I felt I couldn't talk to my dad about.

"Come on, everyone is dying to see you anyway." He said and began wheeling his chair towards the back door. I walked behind him, and kept one hand on the handle preparing myself for what I would see.

There were quite a few people back there, some I knew, but there were a few faces I had never seen before. There was grilling going on in one corner and people sat around in groups. I recognized Quil and Embry, they were drastically changed, they sat by three other men, they were all huge; two beautiful Indian girls sat by them. They didn't come over to greet me; they sort of grinned and nodded, usually they would have ran over and give me a hug. It seems more than their looks are changed.

I wonder why Jacob wasn't with them. Quil and Embry are his two best friends or were, and is usually always together, that's when I felt the chills; the feeling of someone staring at me, by the way my heart and stomach felt I knew it could only be one person.

I slowly turned and sitting around a small bonfire was Jacob, staring at me with a heart broken look on his face, I didn't want to look at him too long, fearing my resolve would weaken, so I glanced beside him, there sat that damn girl, though there were other people, there was enough room where she didn't have to sit so close to him. I glanced at him again, and he was looking at me as though I was the only important thing in his world. I couldn't take it, I felt as though I was falling apart all over again. I turned to escape back into the house.

"Bella?" His voice sounded so sad.

I stilled, then turned back to face him. He had gotten up and was walking towards me, I glanced to his side, she was right there, hanging on his arm, walking over here with him. I have no plans to stand here while he shoves his happiness in my face. I was just about to turn back around and leave anyway when I happened to glance that at the girl.

I stilled again, this time in shock, she is …. Pregnant, but how could this be? When I saw her two months ago, before I left, her stomach was flat. Could it be that Jacob was seeing her longer than I thought? While sating he loved me, he said the same thing to this girl. This didn't seem like Jacob at all. I use to think he was one of the most honest, honorable boys I'd ever met. How could I be so wrong?

That was it, I couldn't take anymore, I turned and walked quickly into the house, and towards the bathroom, I needed a few minutes to get myself together, my hand had just touched the door knob when a very warm hand gently grab my arm. Is Jacob sick? I started to feel concerned, but why should I care, he wasn't concerned or gave me a second thought when he was in that garage with that girl.

"Stop running away from me Bella. Why do you keep doing that?" I heard his voice break as though he was on the verge of tears, at the same time I felt a little of my amore crack. No, no, no, I will not allow it!

"Get your hands off me Jacob." I told him, trying to pull my arm from his grasp, but he didn't budge, so I turned my back to him while he still held my arm. Still without hurting me.

"No." He replied. "I need to know what I did to make you run away from me." He moved closer to my back. "If I don't know, how can I fix it?"

He moved slowly to stand in front of me, taking both my hands in his, that's when I realized how much further up I had to look up to see into his eyes, he had to be around 6 feet, 3 inches now. I then noticed all the other changes, the extra muscles, Jake no longer looked like a 19 year old, he could now pass for a 24, and I had to admit, he was gorgeous, he was always handsome to me in a boyish way, but now he was all man. Then my eyes connected with his, even his eyes seemed a lighter brown and they were focused, intently, on mine. I thought, this man is the love of my life, but I could never let him in my life again, never give him the chance to hurt me again. I wanted to look away from his searing gaze, but I couldn't.

"Why did you leave me Bells? Why did you just leave and not say goodbye?" He sounded so bewildered, especially since that girl was still hanging around him.

He shook his head and closed his eyes, and then they opened and seared me again. "Can I hold you babe?" I was about to deny him. "Please."

I was about to give in, when I looked to his side and there she was again, that girl, the one who's name I still don't know and don't wish to. Anger took hold and I quickly moved away from him.

"I think you do know why I left Jake." I looked at her meaningfully, then back at him. "But if not, I'm sure if you thought about it real hard, you'll figure it out." I looked from her to him one more time and noticed he was doing the same, looking between me and her in confusion. "I don't want to talk to you and definitely don't have to explain anything to you." I said as I began walking away. "In fact I am tired and ready to go home."

As I reached the back door, my dad and Billy was just coming in. "Everything okay in here?" My dad ask

I didn't answer the question directly. "Do you mind if we leave now?" I asked instead

He let his gaze travel over everyone in the room. I could almost hear the wheels in his mind turning. "Okay." He replied. "You must be tired from the flight."

"Take a couple of plates with you." Billy told us

"Thanks Billy." My dad replied

"I'll wait in the car." I said after telling Billy I'd talk to him soon and made my way out the front door. I was about to open the car door, when my arm was held again, scaring the crap out of me, Jacob. How did he do that? Sneaking up on me without me hearing him.

"Let me come over tomorrow so we can talk Bells." He said close to my ear

"I don't think that would be a good idea." I replied stonily.

"Look, I know you're mad at me about something and it's killing me that I don't know what, at least let me come over so you can tell me, scream it at me if you want to."

Now that I can deal with. "Fine." I relented

"Thanks Bells." He whispered in my ear, and then kissed it.

He let go and I got in the car without looking up. Ten minutes later my dad came to the car, carrying a paper bag. He opened his door and handed me the bag, before getting. In five more minutes we were on our way. It was very quiet in the car for awhile.

Just before we reached our house. "I hope you two are able to work out your differences soon Bella, because that boy was crushed when he found out you left without even saying goodbye." He pulled up in front and parked. "Don't worry, I won't ask what it was about, let's just get in the house, all of a sudden I'm beat."

We silently entered the house. "Do you want me to heat you up some of this food?" I asked.

"No." He replied. "I am not hungry, I'm more tired than anything else, and we could have some for dinner tomorrow. Goodnight Bella." He said before kissing my fore head and went upstairs.

"Goodnight dad." I replied, then put the food away and went upstairs too, knowing I won't be getting any sleep, I spent most of night thinking about the conversation to come tomorrow and what exactly I would say. It occupied my mind until I finally fell into a fretful sleep. As much as Jacob had hurt me, I still don't like the thought of hurting him, but I'll do what I have to, to keep my sanity.

(Jacob's POV)

I don't understand it. What did I do to make her run away from me, without even a goodbye? What happened to put that look in her eyes when she looked at me as though I was scum of the earth? She knows I would never do anything to hurt her; I would rather die than hurt her. I love her more than life.

Not being able to talk to and hold her these last few months was hell, I kept hoping, waiting for a call that never came, but now that she is back, I won't stop until we are back to where we were before she left. I know whatever happened, happened the day before she left, but I have faith, after we talked and clear the air she will love me again and I can hold and kiss her again. I have to believe because I can't go back to this half living I had been doing since she left.

I swear, when she came out that back door, I had to physically hold myself back from running over to her, snatching her up in my arms, locking us in somewhere and demand what was wrong, but I knew I couldn't, whatever it is, she has to tell me by choice, but if she still refused, I don't care what she would say, I will kidnap her and keep her until she told me.

Bella is mine as much as I'm hers and I don't plan on letting anything from heaven or hell, nothing on this earth keep us apart, especially not her stubbornness.

I had walked back in the house, but stood at the window and watched as they drove away, I wanted so bad to run after them and beg her not to leave me, not ever again, I have this fear that when I got to her house tomorrow she wouldn't be there, that she will run again, but I know she is a woman of her word, if she says we will talk, she will be there when I got there.

"Jacob, are you alright?"

I turned, irritated and wanting to be alone to think of my Bella. "What do you want Liza."

"Why are you angry at me?" She stepped closer and touched my arm. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine, just want to be alone." I replied, brushing her hands off me, wishing this girl never came into our lives.

"I don't know why you bother, she doesn't care about you." She said vindictively. "I'm the one that's here; I care about you if you would only give us a chance." Her voice softened at the end.

She must be joking. "Don't get mixed up about why you're here, what you did. How could you do that to him?" I took a deep breath to calm myself down. "You came here with my cousin, he loved you so much, but he wasn't enough for you, you had to cheat on him."

"I told everyone how sorry I was, but I was not happy with him, you were the one I always wanted, even before I started going out with your cousin, but you never gave me the time of day, because of her."

"So you thought I would be more attracted to you if you acted like a slut." Does this girl not see the pain she caused?

"You cousin and I had an argument, I was upset and drunk, I didn't know what I was doing until it was too late, I…."

"Don't you mean until my cousin and I caught you in the woods with that man?"

"Haven't you ever made a mistake Jacob, done anything you regretted? I have said I was sorry, what else can I do?"

"That wasn't a mistake Liza, be cause now you're pregnant and have no idea whether the baby is my cousins, now there is going to be a child mixed up in all your shit." I said in disgust.

"What's wrong with you, I thought you understood and forgiven me. I even thought we had gotten closer and you come to care for me." She tried to sound hurt, but failed.

I have had enough of talking with this slut. Is she dim, doesn't she realize what she did. "Let's get something straight, the only reason you are here is because your dad kicked you out his house and my cousin asked us to take you in until he knows whether the baby is his or not, he didn't want you in his house because he couldn't bare to look at you, but he wants to take responsibility of the baby if he is the father." I told her, my voice laced with disgust.

"He didn't ask you to personally be nice to me, to care for me, and you have been. I thought we were starting to build something together." She stared intently in my eyes. "I love you Jacob, in a way I have never loved your cousin, I always have and I would never do anything to hurt you if you gave me the chance." Then she smiled softly, trying to be alluring. Is she serious?

Is this girl serious, I have taken pains to try and avoid being around her if I didn't have to. "The only reason I have been nice to you is because my dad asked me to, not for your sake but the baby you carry." I shook my head, feeling nothing but pity for her. "No other reason. That child is innocent in all this; he or she should not have to suffer because of the immoral actions of the mother. If I had my way, we would have found somewhere else for you to stay, but my dad made a promise."

I looked her up and down; I don't know what my cousin saw in her. "He would have treated you like a queen but you blew it and around here we don't do that to each other, so hitting on my friends, they're not interested and you're just making yourself look more of a fool than you already are. I for one, can't wait to see you leave."

She went to touch my hand and I brushed it away. "You don't mean that Jake, I've seen the way you look at me."

"Look at you? I don't look at you in anyway and if you think I do, then I'm looking through you, thinking of the woman I love more than life. Bella." I looked at her in pity. "You and I would never be. I belong to her and she is mine, get that through your head and leave me alone."

I turned to leave, but she grabbed my arm. I could have knocked it away, but I didn't want to do anything to harm an innocent baby who couldn't be blamed for the sins of its mother. I turned and looked at her.

"Get your hands off me, don't ever touch me again." I said vehemently.

She didn't reply to what I said, but did move her hand. "She doesn't want or love you, you saw how she acted. You might as well give up. I'm the one who does, if you'll only give us a chance."

"You stand there talking about love, like you know what it is, pregnant and not knowing whose it is." This girl really is dim. "Listen well, even if there was no Bella, I wouldn't date you." I let the disgust show on my face. "I was never into dating sluts or my cousins' left over, which you are both." I made a show of wiping where she touched.

Not caring about the show of phony hurt on her face, I turned and ran out the back door; the thought that she might be right ran through my mind. What if Bella truly doesn't love and want me any more… No, I won't accept it. I starting feeling ill, and my body started to shake as I ran; I didn't stop, but ran straight into the woods, not caring what anyone thought of how I was acting.

As I ran, my body shook more, until it became painful as if I was being ripped from the inside out, with one final rip, everything stopped, the shaking, the pain, gone. I looked around; everything seemed brighter, clearer, more pronounced. I heard things I know I shouldn't, words spoken in whispers at the bonfire that should be too far away for me to hear.

I took a step to walk back to my house, but it felt strange, that's when I looked down and instead of feet, I saw paws, panic set in.

What the hell is going on!? I tried to scream, but it only came out as a howl.

Great, just great! - Jacob

Calm down Jacob, everything will be fine. Sam

Why did this have to happen now? Please make this be a dream. - Jacob

This is real Jake. You've finally phase. Do you remember the legends of our people? Sam

Yeah, I already know all about this Sam, Billy have been preparing me for this since

My fifteenth birthday. I know about my great grandfather being the true Alpha in his time. I also know you became Alpha because you were the first to phase and you helped the others that came after you. He has also taught me the patience and control that's needed during phasing to wolf and back to human. – Jacob

Well, I wasn't expecting that. I'm not sure he was supposed to tell you before your time came. – Sam

Billy didn't think it would be fair for me to be caught off guard of one minute being a human and next on four paws as a wolf. I am grateful and respect him even more now

That he prepared me for this. – Jacob

If you knew, why did you sound so panicked? - Sam

I was hoping it wouldn't happen right now and no I don't want to talk about it, though I'm sure you can see it in my anyway. – Jacob

Since Billy already told you everything, I'm sure he told you, you wouldn't be able to

See Bella anymore, and for that matter why didn't I see any of this in your mind.- Sam

First, you cannot stop me from seeing Bella, being the decedent of the most powerful Alpha ever lived, having his blood running through my veins, prevents your Alpha voice

From having any effects on me, it's the same thing that allows me to block anything I don't want to share from my mind. As soon as I felt you phase, I blocked it. – Jacob

I should have known it would be like that. So do you plan on taking your place as Alpha? – Sam

No Sam, that is something I am not ready for and I will give you all the respect due to an Alpha of this pack, I just won't allow anyone to keep me away from Bella. – Jacob

Okay Jacob, I will respect that, just be careful. – Sam

I will, and you're going to be having a guest for a while. - Jacob

Yeah, this time I see what's coming and Leah is not going to like this, though I'm sure

She will get immense joy having this guest suffer a little. Her sister Chloe tried to pull

That same mess with us. – Sam

Good, expect her first thing in the morning. – Jacob

Before you phase back can I ask you something? – Sam

I already see what it is but go ahead. – Jacob

If you knew about all this since you were fifteen why did you still the way you did

about us? – Sam

That's simple, most of the time some of you acted like big, over grown jerks. – Jacob

Yeah, I had a feeling that was it. – Sam

Don't forget about Liza coming first thing in the morning, you have all night to prepare Leah. – Jacob

Yeah, yeah, I heard him thinking before I phased and ran to my bedroom window and jumping in. I wish my grandfather would have known the exact time and day of my first phase so I could have hidden extra clothes in woods and not have to run naked through it.

I had to laugh when I thought about it, a huge Indian dude streaking through. I'm glad there weren't any kids around or anyone for that matter.

I grabbed some clean clothes and put on a robe before going to the bathroom and taking a

quick shower. Though I was hungry, I could barely keep my eyes open so I went to bed as soon as I laid down.

My dreams were filled with Bella.