Sara Anderson is laid to rest on a cold and bright January day. The church is full of friends and family, and later on Blaine would be touched at how many of his and Kurt's friends had made the trip. He smiles weakly as he notices Jonathan and Teresa sitting in a pew alongside Kathy and an utterly distraught Wes. Riccardo and Ken arrive with their spouses, Riccardo having provided a string quartet and organist without even having to be asked. Santana reaches out to touch his fingers lightly as he walks past somberly, and he turns to look at her as if not quite sure who she is. Kurt is by his side throughout, of course, silent and steadfast, his safe haven once more.
"My...my wife," a trembling and tearful Mike Anderson starts as he steps up to deliver his eulogy. "My wife was...the most wonderful wife I could have ever wished for. I remember, fifty four years ago, the pride I felt when I saw her walk down this very aisle to marry me. I remember it because it's the same pride I feel now, as I lay her to rest. Pride that she was- always will be- mine. Pride that she loved me, despite all my flaws and of course, pride that she gave me two wonderful sons, who in turn have gifted me with two, nearly three, grandchildren."
Blaine doesn't even notice he's crying until Burt leans forward from the row behind and offers his handkerchief. He accepts gratefully, and wipes at his eyes before holding Kurt's hand once more. Cooper sits the other side of him, resting his hand on his knee just as he used to when they were young, and he reaches down to cover his hand with his own, looking into his brothers tear filled blue eyes as he offers a trembling smile.
"I want to stand here and deliver this outstanding speech about how she tackled adversity head on, how she fought back from the brink on this occasion or the other...but the truth is, she didn't. She didn't because she always did it; quietly in the background, without any of us noticing. She always fought for us, as a couple and as a family. She stood by Cooper when he moved to LA without a dime to his name. She stood by Blaine when he came out to us, and when he met Kurt she was just happy to be blessed with another son. And people talked, you know," he says with a tearful laugh. "I know they did. But she held her head high because she knew, she had faith that Blaine and Kurt would end up together. And she had that faith because she taught Blaine to love, through the way she loved him herself.
I don't think I've been the perfect husband, but she has been the perfect wife, mom and grandma. It breaks my heart to think she missed being a grandma again by just a few short weeks, but I know she'll be watching from somewhere, boys. She'll be watching and she'll be so, so proud. And of course I know that she would be so elated to have a new darling in her life," he chuckles. "This past week has been hell," he continues as the laughter dies away. "I've lain awake night after night, knowing that my sons, daughter and grand kids are across the hall doing exactly the same. I've wondered how I'm supposed to go on. Where am I supposed to look without seeing her? How do I wake up and not expect to see her waiting at the breakfast table with my paper and coffee? How am I supposed to go to the grocery store, the bank, the diner down the road? How?
By remembering, that's how. Sara wouldn't want us to avoid talking about her, or to shy away from our memories of her. She would want us to carry on, be happy and speak of her with love and affection just as we always did. She was a character, of that there is no doubt. We all have a favorite memory, and I'd encourage you all to share those with one another." Pausing, he wipes at his eyes a moment. "I don't think I really have anything left to add," he says quietly, blowing a gentle kiss at the closed coffin. "Just... Sleep tight my darling, until we meet again."
Wes locates Kurt in the dining room, making polite small talk with a distant relative of Sara's that he's pretty sure he's never met. He smiles gratefully when he notices Wes hovering, excusing himself to the woman and arriving at his side.
"You okay?" Wes asks, putting an arm around his shoulder.
"Yes," he sighs, then rolls his eyes. "Well...actually...no. I feel like I need to be talking to all these people because Mike's overwhelmed, Blaine's incapable and Cooper and Claire need to be taking care of Taylor and Maddie. But all I really want to do is sneak off with Blaine and kiss him until he feels better."
"When was the last time you two were alone?"
"Well," Kurt shrugs. "We're alone every night of course, but the truth is we're so tired and dragged down by another day of relatives or friends calling by to offer condolences, or phone calls and letters arriving that we just go right to sleep. And then I wake up at three am to find Blaine sitting in the bathroom crying," he says with a shake of his head. "So I drag him back to bed and hold him until dawn when the whole cycle starts over again."
"Oh Kurt," Wes shakes his head. "Are you going back to Chicago tomorrow?"
"Day after. Cooper and Claire leave tomorrow, and Joe is driving Taylor back, and Maddie obviously. It didn't seem fair for us all to disappear on the same day. I think I might try and drag Mike out to dinner. It will do everyone good."
"I take it Blaine isn't going to Boston with the Symphony?"
"No. But I have to get back to work. Anna's been great, as I knew she would be, but there's only so much we can do with me here. Blaine has a piano recital in two weeks, which I think will be good for him. He can practice from home if he wants, but I'm hoping he'll go in to work with Riccardo. He needs to get back to it now."
From their position they can see into the living room and they watch together as Santana sets a drink down on the coffee table in front of Blaine. With great difficulty she bends and kisses his cheek, but getting no response she sighs and walks over to Rachel instead. "Has he spoken with her?" Wes asks.
"No. And she's getting upset, I know she is. The thing is, I don't know if he's not speaking with her because of the baby, or because he just doesn't want to speak with anyone."
"Go," Wes says, squeezing him tight. "Let me deal with the insufferable yet well meaning relatives. Take Santana and Blaine upstairs and let that baby kick some sense into him."
Blaine puts up no objection and allows himself to be led upstairs, and Santana follows willingly. She settles in the desk chair while Blaine sits on the edge of the bed and stares at the floor, prompting Kurt to crouch in front of him. "Blaine, honey? I'm sorry if I'm talking to you like a child here, but I'm worried about you. I know today is tough, and I really feel that too. But I'd like you to remember that not only is Santana carrying our baby for us, she is also your close friend who has driven here, at nearly eight months pregnant, to support you. I don't know if you're avoiding her because of the baby, or because she's...well...Santana, but..."
"Hey!" she objects.
"Hang on. But my experience tells me that though she doesn't like to admit it, she has a heart and she has feelings, which right now you're trampling all over."
"I am?" Blaine asks, looking horrified as Santana stares at the floor and nods.
"I'm kinda...ugh," she says swiping angrily at her tears. "I'm kinda fat, and hormonal but yeah... I guess I'm just trying to look after you and I feel like you won't let me, or you just want to block me out. I understand if you don't want to be reminded of the baby right now but I can't exactly hide it away. And I miss her too, you know. I miss her so much."
"I'm so sorry," he gasps, flying across the room to kneel at her side. "Really, I'm not ignoring you. Or the baby," he says, reaching out to rub over her stomach. "I'm not. I'm just... I don't know. Trying to process everything I guess. I do love you, and I am grateful you're here, really, I am."
"Thank you," she says softly, reaching down to stroke his cheek. "You look like a little puppy dog sitting down there," she smiles. "A cute little puppy."
"Your hormones are making you crazy," he smiles, but he nuzzles into her stomach and makes her laugh. "I want...can I talk to the baby?"
"You usually do."
"I know but...I want to say some stuff. Private stuff."
"Do you want me to leave?" Kurt asks from over his shoulder, but Blaine is quick to turn and grab his hand.
"No! Oh Kurt, no. I want you to stay, please."
"Well I can't exactly disappear," Santana says, feeling suddenly awkward. "But I can promise you that I won't laugh at you, or repeat anything you say."
"Okay," he nods, feeling reassured. "Um...hello, my little one," he starts, rubbing both his hands over the bump. "I know you can hear me, even if you don't kick back. I guess it's getting kinda cramped in there. I just...want you to know, that although I'm terribly sad right now, I really cannot wait until you're here. I can't wait to hold you, to kiss you, to rock you to sleep as I sing you a lullaby- and I promise to never complain, not even when you're crying at four in the morning and I don't know what to do.
It breaks my heart that you won't get to meet your grandma, but I'm gonna make sure you grow up to know just how much she loved you, even before you arrived. We'll be okay, you know," he says, reaching to pull Kurt close to his side. "The three of us. I know- and your papa will know because he knows me so well- that there will be times when something will happen that will remind me of her, and I'll cry. But I won't be sad for long. How can I stay sad when I have the best husband and child anyone could wish for? Because I know, without even having met you, that's what you'll be. Our little darling." The gentle kiss he drops on the bump is rewarded with a sharp kick that has Santana wincing uncomfortably and Blaine and Kurt smiling once more through their tears.
"Our little darling," Kurt echoes, kissing Blaine's shoulder gently.
"I love you, Kurt," Blaine says, turning to take him in his arms properly.
"I love you too," he whispers, a brief smile lighting up his face before he closes the gap between them and kisses him tenderly. It doesn't take much for Blaine's walls to come crashing down, just the slow, steady and much missed movement of Kurt's lips against his own has him running his fingers into his soft hair and breathing in sharply through his nose as he opens his mouth wider. Neither notice when Santana hauls herself from the chair and slips out of the room, closing the door behind her and wondering how one kiss can become too intimate to watch.
They stay kneeling on the floor, kissing one another deeply, desperately until Blaine's hands find Kurt's tie and pull it off quickly before working his shirt open. "Hold on," Kurt gasps, breaking away to look into Blaine's eyes. "Are you sure this is okay?"
"Kurt, this is all I want," Blaine tells him sincerely, and it's enough.
Taking his hand, Kurt tugs Blaine toward the bed, removing his clothes and handling him carefully, as if he might break. Once they're both down to briefs, Kurt kisses him once more, sliding his tongue into the warm heat of Blaine's mouth and feeling him whimper softly around him. "I don't think we have any..."
"Zip pocket inside my suitcase lid," Blaine says, smiling shyly when Kurt raises a questioning eyebrow. "I don't know what I was thinking when I packed that."
"Well we won't wonder, we'll just appreciate," he smiles, fumbling around until his hand closes around the small bottle of lube which he tosses onto the pillow. "Now come here and make me a happy boy."
Blaine lies down on the bed next to him, happily smoothing a hand across Kurt's stomach to curl around his waist on the other side, drawing him closer for more kisses. "I don't want us to lose sight of each other again," he says, voice hoarse with emotion as Kurt kisses gently down his neck.
"Oh, hey. That's not going to happen, okay?" he says firmly, looking into Blaine's eyes until he gets a small nod. "We had a really rough patch I know, but that was nearly two years ago. And if our marriage allows us anything, it's an eternity of getting to know one another. We know each other better now than we did then and that will continue. We know how to get through this and we will, I promise."
"Yes," Blaine says, catching hold of Kurt's optimism and allowing it to light up his face. "We will." And he tackles his husband back onto the bed, burrowing into the crook of his neck to kiss over all his ticklish spots and make him squirm.
The kisses turn more heated, filled with want and desire as Blaine moves lower, pulling Kurt's briefs down with his teeth and a gleam in his eye before swallowing him down. Kurt cries out as he hardens into the soft warmth of Blaine's mouth, and he throws a hand over his eyes, allowing his senses to be taken over by the feel of his husbands mouth around him. "Spin around," he groans, tapping the top of Blaine's head. "Let me touch you."
He runs his hands almost reverently over Blaine's ass as he backs toward his face, leaning up to nip lightly at one of the cheeks before spreading him wide and licking across his entrance. He feels rather than hears Blaine's reaction- that tell tale stutter of his mouth followed by cool air around his cock as Blaine opens his mouth to gasp- and he smiles against Blaine's skin before diving back in for more. With practised ease he soon has his husband spread open, writhing desperately on three fingers and clutching at the sheets.
Blaine pulls away and lies down on his back, spreading his legs wide for Kurt to fall between them. "The first time I ever entered you was like this," Kurt smiles as he kneels and pulls Blaine's legs up around his waist.
"Oh god I know," Blaine sighs happily, letting the memory wash over him for a moment. "Don't think that I'll ever forget it."
"And it still feels so good," Kurt rushes out as he enters him. "Blaine..." Leaning down, he rests his torso as close against him as he can before slowly working his hips back and forth. "Oh god, I love you so much."
They fall silent then, Kurt resting his head into the crook of Blaine's neck and kissing there as Blaine's arms come up under his to dig softly into his skin, gripping him tightly, keeping him close. The sounds of people gradually leaving the wake downstairs can be heard, but neither notice; too absorbed in each other and being together to care. After a while Kurt reaches for Blaine's cock and starts to stroke in time with his thrusts, his erratic breathing pattern, harsh and rough in Blaine's ear telling him that he's close. With an arch of his back Blaine comes first, spurting onto Kurt's hand who does his best to see him through it before coming himself, a soft drawn out moan falling from his lips before he settles back into Blaine's embrace once more, kissing him lazily and looking at him through hooded lids. "You okay?"
"I am," Blaine confirms. "I really needed you to complete me once more...I mean..." he says, becoming flustered under the close scrutiny of Kurt's gaze. "You complete me anyway, I just mean..."
"You mean that for you and I, reconnecting always comes on a physical level as well as emotional and that's fine," Kurt smiles, taking his hand and kissing his knuckles. "I understand you Blaine. If we didn't understand one another I doubt we'd have gotten this far."
"We have come pretty far, haven't we?" Blaine asks, looking up at him and kissing the tip of his nose.
"We have. And still a lot further to go, old man."
Kurt drags Blaine out for breakfast the next day, giving Mike time to say his goodbyes to Cooper and family, and Blaine a much needed change of scenery. He grumbles and grouses at first, mainly at not being able to drive Cooper to the airport.
"He's moving in three weeks," Kurt says exasperatedly as he pulls into the diner parking lot. "You'll be able to see him all the time then. Give him some time with your dad and come eat with me."
"I'd rather eat you," he tries as they step from the car. Kurt stops still, not quite sure how to respond to the joke, so he just raises an eyebrow and carries on. "Hey," Blaine says, offering his hand. "Here."
"Oh." Kurt's cheeks flush pink as he takes his husbands hand. "We don't usually...when we're in Ohio."
"I don't care," Blaine shrugs. "I don't want us to be one of those old married couples who never holds hands," he says, swinging their arms as they walk. "Though a stroller is going to be in the way for a while."
"Then I'll just have to do this then," Kurt says, linking his arm through Blaine's and resting his head on his shoulder- making them both beam with pride.
They order quickly, knowing the menu far too well already, and sit nursing large mugs of coffee while they wait for their food to arrive. "Remember the first time we came here?" Blaine asks, pressing his lips together in a self satisfied smirk.
"I do," Kurt says, trying to suppress his smile. "Remember why we came here?"
"I do," Blaine confirms, and he can't help but laugh. "My god," he says, leaning across the booth and looking directly into Kurt's eyes. "I thought I was going to end up raping you or something."
Kurt laughs loudly, completely shocked. "Blaine! I can't believe you just said that!"
"Okay, okay," he concedes. "I'd never have done...that. But I remember your dad had given me this speech about not letting myself get carried away and then all of a sudden there you were...spread out underneath me, and all I wanted to do was...take."
Kurt blushes pink, secretly thrilled at his words. "But you didn't," he points out.
"No," Blaine shakes his head and takes another mouthful of his coffee. "I didn't. It wasn't mine to take. You were too young, not ready, and it would never have been fair. So I took you here for breakfast instead," he finishes brightly, making them both laugh.
"You know, I've never really asked before," Kurt says, leaning closer and talking quietly. "But given all I know now...like...how crazy bad I want you sometimes, when there's that craving that only you can satisfy... How did you manage to resist for all that time?"
"It wasn't so long," Blaine muses. "When I think back, of course. At the time it felt like eternity. I don't know...I guess we weren't given any opportunities to get in that situation again. And I'm glad really. Because stuff would have happened. I'm only human, plus I'm completely powerless to resist you," he smiles. "But all that time we dated...like a couple of high schoolers- which one of us was, of course- well it gave me a chance to fall in love with you. Not your body, or that thing you do with your tongue- though I do love both those things of course...but you. I got to know you and I fell so deeply in love with you that the night you stayed with me- when I told you I loved you- I remember having to try so, so hard not to finish myself off the second you took your shirt off." Looking down at the table he smiles, embarrassed, and reaches for Kurt's hand. "I know we never got further than grinding that night, but it was the most wonderful thing I had ever experienced. Every detail of that night will stay with me, because we were so in love, so desperate to give pleasure to each other...yeah," he says softly. "It blows me away just thinking about it."
"Okay! Eggs over easy, hash browns, sausage and toast?"
The sudden arrival of the waitress breaks the moment and they pull apart, eyes still locked on one another. "Uh...yeah," Kurt says quietly, smiling his thanks as she sets the plate down.
"Pancakes, bacon, maple syrup and a side order of toast and hash browns?"
"Yes," Blaine says, then looks at Kurt. "I'm hungry," he explains.
"You don't say."
They eat awhile and Kurt studies Blaine, the way he eats hungrily, stopping to smile up at Kurt with his mouth full of food. "Wha'?"
"You look like you're enjoying that," Kurt comments sweetly. "You look happy."
"I am."
"Good."
"Yeah," Blaine stops, resting his knife and fork on the plate as he sits back and contemplates. "I can't pretend that I'm over any of this," he says. "Far from it. And I apologize in advance if there are days when it seems all I do is cry. But it feels good to be laughing again, enjoying life...being with you...all of that. Dad was right yesterday. Mom wouldn't want me to be sitting here, ignoring you as I pick miserably at a bit of toast."
"No," Kurt smiles. "But she would want you to take your elbows off the table," he points out. "So please do so."
They both laugh, and Kurt reaches across to grab his hand before he can rest it in his lap. "How do you feel about going home tomorrow?"
"Good, actually," Blaine says with a nod. "I have an insane amount of piano practise to do," he chuckles. "So I'll be busy. And Sebastian's offered to help dad go through all mom's stuff, which is good, because there's no way I could, and I don't think it would be fair to Kathy and Wes."
"Do you think he'll sell?"
"I think he's gonna have to," Blaine says with a sad smile. "And it's probably best. What use is he gonna have for a seven bedroom house now? He's not going to be entertaining. There's a new retirement complex being built about five minutes from my place. Wes is going to look into it."
"Hmm, I miss your house," Kurt says fondly. "Good times."
"Yeah," Blaine sighs. "I keep thinking I should sell but..."
"There's no need right now," Kurt says gently. "I think we have enough going on."
"Starting with the imminent arrival of our baby," Blaine grins. "Aw man," his grin becomes ear splitting as he clutches Kurt's hand tightly. "Just saying the words causes butterflies."
"We're gonna be the most hysterically over excited parents ever," Kurt laughs. "Poor kid."
"Poor kid indeed, it's to be pitied, I'm sure."
"But then again, we are fabulously rich," Kurt offers with a poker face.
"And ridiculously good looking." Blaine says, a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth.
"The baby will have custom made, one of a kind outfits."
"And will be serenaded with a vast range of music, from classical to contemporary- all played on an array of instruments."
"So really..." Kurt says. "This baby should be thanking us."
"We've done it a favor."
"We have," Kurt grins, giving in and laughing along with his husband. "What a lucky baby it will be."