AN: Okay, so Puck goes from throwing Kurt in the dumpster in season one to declaring him 'my boy' in season 2 but we never get to see what causes that change. Here is my take on it. The next eleven drabbles are an arc focusing on that subject all set during Season 2. Hope you enjoy. Part one is inspired by lyrics from "We Are Broken" by Paramore
Turning from the dumpster with my friends, I exchanged hi-fives with them. The gesture is empty though. I'm doing it because they expect me to, not because I feel any real exhilaration over what we had just done. In fact, I feel kind of bad for tossing Kurt in the dumpster this time. Looking back over my shoulder, I stare at the dumpster thinking about what I had done.
Kurt had never done anything to me, or Paul and Ed. Yeah, he could be opinionated on things but most of the time the kid just left people alone. Nobody had made a field goal since he quit the football team and had helped the Cheerios win Nationals last year. Being a male Cheerio at this school took guts - even I had never messed with the few guys that were on the squad. And though I wouldn't admit it out loud, after getting to know Kurt a little better now that he and Finn were almost brothers, I kind of thought the kid was kinda cool.
This use to make me feel complete. Lording over the smaller, weaker, nerdy kids of this school use to give me a sense of power. Like I was able to accomplish something. Right now though, all I felt was guilty and like a creep.
"We gonna hang tonight, Puck?" Ed asked.
I looked from the dumpster and to my 'friend'. "Yeah, sure," I said with a shrug of my shoulders. It was something to do after all and I sure wasn't going to admit my current feelings to either of them. I'd end up in the dumpster with Kurt if I did that.
Ed and Paul tell me where and when to meet them before heading for Ed's car. After I know they are out of sight I look back at the dumpster. Kurt is now slowly trying to climb out of the metal box. The fancy jacket he's wearing gets hung up on something on the dumpster. I watch silently as he tries to free himself, fighting the instinct to go help him. I'm still standing there when he does finally free himself. Standing next to the dumpster, seeing him there makes me realize just how small he is, he takes off the jacket and examines it. Even from this distance I can tell it's ripped badly. Letting the jacket fall from his hands, Kurt turns from the dumpster and starts for his car - his head held high in defiance despite the tears even I can see glistening on his cheek.
Once I'm alone in the parking lot, I return to the dumpster. Bending over, I pick up the jacket and looks at it. It's definitely beyond fixing and somehow I doubt it would be cheap to replace.
Feeling disgusted with what my actions had caused, I head for my own car, the smooth fabric of the jacket still clutched in my hand. When had I become this person who takes pleasure in causing other people pain? When had I loss the youthful innocence that Kurt still somehow managed to hold onto despite everything me and the other bullies had done to him?Was this really all that I was capable of being?