AN: Because I'm happy to have gotten through jury duty without actually ending up on a trial you all get two drabbles today. Hope you enjoy part 4 of my arc which was inspired by lyrics from "Open Your Eyes" by Snow Patrol.
A shiver goes through my body even though I know the cell is no colder than it has been on previous nights. It sure does feel that way though. Colder and a lot more empty with Tony gone.
I still can't believe he's gone. I can't believe that Randy and his pals had been able to get enough time to beat the kid to death. Sure fights broke out in here from time to time, Tony had already been the recipient of quite a few bruises, but the guards were quick to intervene. Not today though. Today I had knelt next to a kid only a year younger than myself, and held his hand as he took his last breath.
It didn't seem real. It was like my life had turned into a nightmare that I couldn't awaken from except that the nightmare only got worse if I closed my eyes. Closing my eyes meant that I once again would see Tony's face and hear him telling me that he would finally be safe.
Tony was probably the most innocent of us all. Oh, he had done the crime he had convicted of, stealing cigarettes and cigars, but he had done it for survival. Tony had been stealing the items to keep from getting beat up by a couple of seniors who harassed him because he was gay. By supplying the guys with their fix periodically, he saved himself a lot of harassment. Of course when Tony got caught the guys knew nothing of the deal.
All Tony had been doing was trying to survive.
Not for the first time, my thoughts went from Tony to Kurt. I had treated Kurt no better than the guys who had been using Tony. The only difference I could see between my former cellmate and classmate was that Kurt would never be in a place like this. Kurt would take the beating, before going against any of his principles like Tony had - the image of him walking across the parking lot with his head held high after climbing from the dumpster tells me that.
Reaching up, I wipe away the tears that are sliding down my cheeks. At least I'm alone, and it's dark and no one else will ever know about the tears. I know that guys aren't supposed to cry, but just this once I think I'm entitled to a few, especially as I feel like I've aged a few years today.