Upon revealing her features, the face of a young pale female with grey-blue eyes and layered brown hair stared back at them.
Ace sputtered. "How old are you?!"
"Thirteen," was the immediate and straight reply.
Marco's face softened. "We're not going to beat you. That'd be wrong, but I would like to know why you shot down our flags, yoi. Why'd you need our attention?"
Kailee's eyes lit up, a grin gracing her face. She was glad they were listening. "Glad you asked! See, this isn't really for my benefit. I was pretty sure I was going to die if I did this, but I said to myself, "Why the hell not?" because I was really pissed about all of the death. I mean, I bawled, okay! I came here on a mission, and if I died trying to complete that mission, then shit, but whatever! Although I sincerely hoped someone would save you, but I guess I made it, so now I can finish through!"
Ace raised his eyebrows. "That explains nothing."
"I know, I know! Okay, so do you guys know a Marshall D. Teach?" She asked.
"Uh, yeah. He's in my Division," Ace frowned.
"So he's on your crew right now?" Kailee clarified.
"Yeah..." Marco trailed off. "Why?"
Kailee grit her teeth. "How long has he been on your ship?"
Marco shrugged. "A couple decades, yoi. Why?"
Kailee rubbed her forehead. "Has Thatch found a Devil Fruit?"
"Uh...no. These are some random questions," Ace said.
"Okay, so we have time. Not much time but time. That's good, that's good," Kailee nodded to herself.
"What nonsense are you spewing, woman?!" Ace cried.
Kailee jumped, hands up. "Okay! Give me a second to explain this to you without having you at least being tempted to beat me. Teach, he's only with you to find the Yami Yami no Mi. He's prepared to stab you all in the back and then turn tail. Thatch is gonna find the Devil Fruit, Teach is going to kill Thatch to get it, then Teach is going to hand Ace over to the Marines, then Ace is going to die, then Whitebeard is going to die! Long story short, Teach is a backstabber and if you trust him any longer, lots of people are going to die!"
"Why should we trust you?" Ace glared, not liking that this girl was accusing Teach of such things.
Kailee groaned. "Okay, look! I understand that you don't like your crew mate being accused of something like this, but I bawled my fucking eyeballs out when you died, okay?!" She grabbed the fire user's shoulders, shaking him, tears burning in her eyes. "Why'd you have to go and die?! You broke your promise!"
Ace stumbled back, eyes wide. "Promise?" Kailee knew Ace knew what she meant.
"After Sabo was gone, you swore to Luffy you'd never die! Then you fucking jump in front of him like a moron to take Akainu's blow! You fucking die in your brother's arms, Ace! Why couldn't you have just shoved Luffy out of the way?! Why couldn't you have just ignored Akainu!? He was baiting you, taunting you, and you took the bait! You're so stupid!" Kailee didn't realize she was crying before she felt wetness drop onto her hands.
She hurriedly rubbed her face, stepping back quickly from the two. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be yelling. I know I should be blaming Oda. He is the one who decided your fate."
"Oda, yoi?" Marco asked hesitantly.
"Eiichiro Oda. He's your...God, I guess," Kailee shrugged. "He created you, gave you life. I kinda lived with the guy. Not as in the same house but in the same world. I guess the simplest explanation is that I'm an angel," she would not be explaining that they were fake characters from an anime called One Piece, and that she had watched the whole series, although she could not get the manga because her mother refused to let her buy it because her obsession was unhealthy!
"Well, look at me now, Mom. Bet you wished you let me have that extra info!" Kailee muttered angrily before shaking her head. "Off topic!"
"An angel?" Ace raised a skeptical brow. "Really?"
"I know about Sabo, about your promise, I even know about your father! And it's not a Devil Fruit! Throw me into the ocean if you don't believe me!" Kailee flailed her arms. "I don't want Thatch to die, I don't want Giant Ossan to die, I don't want you to die! I don't want my poor little rubber plushie to suffer either!"
"Giant Ossan?" Marco asked.
"Little rubber plushie?" Ace asked.
"Okay, Pineapple Head for you," she pointed to Marco. "and Giant Ossan or Giant Banana Mustache Man for Whitebeard. Sorry, my inner-Luffy is rampaging and being here doesn't help! He's literally begging me to call you weird nicknames!"
"Inner-Luffy? Is my brother inside of you?!" Ace screamed.
"What?! No! Luffy's personality just rubs off on a person! Maybe I can find out if he really is an alien..." Kailee muttered the last part.
"I don't even want to know, yoi..." Marco sighed.
"You probably don't." Kailee nodded.
"So, Teach really is going to betray us?" Ace frowned.
Kailee nodded sadly. "I'm sorry, Ace. Marco. You don't have to do anything yet if you don't want to, but when Thatch gets that Devil Fruit, Teach will kill him. You have to be super careful. And if Teach does get away, don't, and I repeat, don't go after him! It'll only end in sorrow."
Ace looked at Marco. Marco sighed. "I'll talk to Pops, but I want you to come with us, yoi."
"What?!" Kailee gasped. "It's not that I won't go or anything, but I figured I'd go back to my world."
"How, yoi?" Marco asked.
Kailee blanched. "No idea."
"How'd you get here in the first place?" Ace asked.
Kailee shrugged. "I was writing stories on Wattpad and then a portal pooped itself on the wall. And yes, I said pooped, not popped."
"You just...walked in?" Marco frowned. "That seems a bit reckless."
"In my defense, when a portal pops up in my world, most kids my age would jump in! I mean, come on! A portal screams, "Other dimension!" which only means adventure. Besides, I could've ended up in Tokyo Ghoul," Kailee smiled.
"Tokyo what?" Ace cocked his head.
Kailee laughed sheepishly. "Well, another person in my world is a God of this world where there's these creatures called ghouls who have to eat people because they can only survive on human flesh. If I ended up there, one of them probably could have eaten my unconscious body."
"Okay, one, how many Gods live in your world?! And two, you jumped into a portal that you didn't know where it would lead to, fully aware you could have landed in another world where you would have been eaten, yoi?!" Marco barked.
"First question, too many to count. Second, yes. Besides, it was only about fifty-fifty that I would have gotten eaten before I woke up," Kailee shrugged.
"You're an idiot," Ace sighed.
"You call Luffy that all the time," Kailee said.
"Your point?" Ace asked.
"So, does this mean I'm your sister?" Kailee asked innocently.
"No!" Ace shouted.
Kailee pouted. "Poop. I've always wanted an tsundere older brother."
"Tsundere?" Marco asked.
"It's basically how Ace used to act when he was younger. Didn't know how to express any other emotions than anger and couldn't respond to positive treatment, so he usually punched and yelled at people for being nice to him. That's a tsundere," Kailee smirked.
Ace blushed, turning away. "I'm not a tsundere."
Kailee merely patted his cheek and climbed into the dinghy. "Denial~But, that's okay. I love tsunderes. They're adorable."
"I'm not adorable!" Ace huffed.
"I said tsunderes were adorable, so you just basically admitted you were a tsundere," Kailee laughed.
"But-" Marco cut Ace off. "She's got you there, yoi!"
Ace turned cherry red before sitting on the opposite end of the dinghy, Marco in between them.
Kailee chuckled. "Lighten up, Firefighter! I'm only joking! You're not adorable!" She winked. "You're hot~"
Ace covered his face with his hands. "Make her stop, Marco! This is so mortifying!"
"Take the compliments like a man, Portgas!" Kailee grinned.
"You're thirteen!" Ace cried.
"I can't drive, but I can sure enjoy the ride!" She grinned.
"Oh my god!" Ace whined, face red.
Marco laughed. "This is the start of a beautiful friendship, yoi!"
Kailee laughed. "Calm down, Ace, I'm only joking."
Ace uncovered his face, still blushing.
"A little," she smirked.
Cue the mortified groan.
She's so not going to let that go...
Bye my doggies!