Bart rubbed the back of his neck, Goddammit! He thought, what's our state capitol again?

This was his first exam ever since he'd returned to Edna's class, and this was the last question.

He'd studied Hard for this. His second perfect-score exam of all these years, and most of the questions he'd answered easily. Well, not exactly easily, but still…

But he was sure the answer to this question wasn't in the book. Or maybe it was, just in one of the pages he'd torn for one of his pranks.

Damn. Time to improvise

There were only five major cities in the state that he knew of. It couldn't be Shelbyville, or terror lake. And he was pretty sure that company-residential area homer had wrecked was newly-built. It was a question between Springfield and Capital City.

He face-palmed in his mind, REALLY? And wrote 'Capital City' on the answer sheet. And right in time, because Edna took the papers a moment afterwards.

"Well, Children. I'm afraid I'm not quite alright in the moment, so you'll have the rest of the day off. Do whatever you want, but don't leave the classroom."

As the students cheered (and commenced project 'leave the classroom immediately') Bart grabbed Milhouse, "I promised I'll help you. So I will. There's a fifth grader who was actually impressed by some of the love songs you wrote for Lisa"

Milhouse dropped his head. "you mean to tell me that all those times I humiliated Myself for Lisa, there was someone who actually liked the songs I wrote?"

Bart nodded, "yes. And in fact, I'm pretty sure she has the same feelings about you that you have for Lisa, so what do you say, give yourself a Chance?"

Milhouse said "Would I?" Bart rubbed his hands sinisterly, "good, but for the plan to stick, as some of the people say in those shows homer watches, you'll have to …uh…perform one last time."

Milhouse sighed, "another love song?" "yes. Your best yet. If you're lucky, she'll will like it. and I'll…er…convince her to tell you that."

"but what if Lisa likes it too?"

Bart said with a straight face, "on the highly unlikely chance that she likes it, you won't need to see the other girl, will you?"

Poor poor Milhouse, still so delusional to think Lisa would like one of his, arguably really good, poems.

What he didn't know (and wouldn't know, if Bart had any say in it) was that the only thing that stopped Lisa from publicly dissing Milhouse was Bart begging her not to do so.

With Bart out of the picture, Lisa was about to do what she'd done to Ralph a few months ago.

Fortunately, Milhouse would eventually get the girl. Unlike poor little Wiggum.

Twelve forty-five in the afternoon, fifteen minutes after the lunch break had started, Milhouse rose from his seat near Bart across the cafeteria, murmured something, picked a piece of paper up, and the sight of his friends' two-thumbs-up, began walking to her table.

Lisa sighed, and when she saw the few words in the letter that she could make out, she was filled with dread.

Another love song.

"hey, Lisa!" exclaimed Milhouse, "I wrote a song for you, wanna hear it?"

"Not really-" she said, but was interrupted by him, who began singing.

After almost a minute of dreadful rhyming words stringed together, he said "what do you think?"

Lisa closed her eyes, took a deep breath and tried to ignore the others.

If this was a month ago, the way things were back then, she'd say 'no' as gently as she could, and Milhouse would leave, Sulk for a few days, but get over it soon.

This wasn't the regular days. she looked directly into his eyes and said "Milhouse. That was the most horrible thing I've ever heard. In my life. Even worse than Bart's R&R trash!"

She saw some of the brightness leave his eyes. But she couldn't just stop now. Might as well take it to the extreme. "stop. Just stop writing me songs. Stop giving me secret valentines, stop trying to make me become your girlfriend. It's just not going to happen. Ever!"

With a heart-broken tone he said "Lisa I just wanted to-" "no! just stop! Don't talk to me. Don't even look at me. I don't love you, I don't like you even as a friend! I don't hate you, but the only reason I haven't said this before was Bart, and now he isn't here!"

A few hours later, when she would get home, she'd receive an Email from Bart (though she wouldn't know that) with the content 'watch 2:30 closely, you can pinpoint the exact moment you permanently broke yet another heart. I hope you're proud of yourself, Lisa, because none of us are' and a video recording of the cafeteria, from the security cameras, of the lunch period.

A few hours later, when she'd received the email and had actually thought about what she'd done, she would be immensely shocked at herself, and wallow in shame. Right then, she couldn't possibly care less about the two hundred widened pairs of eyes that were on her.

Something broke in Milhouse that day. Something irreplaceable broke, and wasn't fired for a long time later. The innocence of a hopeful child, the trying spirit of a hopeless romantic, the senseless, strong –unending- love he felt for that girl vanished. Left. Poof! And his eyes hardened.

Of course that love hadn't left. It had just gone silent for a while, but he didn't know that yet.

Too proud to cry in front of all the school this time, he sniffed loudly and dropped his head, "for a second there I thought…" he chuckled bitterly, "well, thanks Lisa! At least now that I know there's no chance for me, I can at least stop destroying my non-existent reputation. Goodbye, Lisa"

He sighed, and left, Lisa's eyes never leaving his back. Once he was out of earshot, he began crying silently near the WCs, where a cute girl with a slightly dorky look said "that was quite the poem. You write them yourself?"

Could she be the one? He thought hopefully, she was almost the girl of her dreams. Beautiful and (if her looks weren't just poor fashion) smart. Furthermore, she didn't hate him!

He said shyly "the rhyming dictionary helps, but yeah. I do most of it myself!" "that was some horrible dumping back there. How about I buy you some Ice-cream after school? just so you'd feel better?"

He sighed, "but…I can't go out with strangers." She shrugged, "alright then. Taffy brown!" she raised a hand forward, "wanna be friends?"

He smiled nostalgically, remembering the first time this had happened, and shook the hand, "Milhouse Van Houten! I'd be delighted to."

And thus, a new friendship bloomed.

A.N:

Alright, alright, I am pretty cruel to Milhouse, and (arguably) OOC as Lisa.

First, I would say that Lisa DOES have a mean streak. One that is, sometimes, even worse that Bart's. (my main example would be the MANY torturous 'experimentations' she's done to Bart (some of which have had 'a clockwork orange'-ish results, if you catch my drift.) or basically how she interacts with Milhouse throughout the series (especially pre-season 20). Let's not ignore poor Ralphie either.)

Second that, yes. In the original episode, Lisa wasn't this horrible to Milhouse at the dumping. Well, I think I've explained why it was so different this time around. She's under a lot of pressure herself, and sometimes, people don't care about others in that sort of situation.

Third that, Taffy (who, like most one-time characters in the show doesn't really have a last name) was one of the few one-time characters I really wish we'd see again. along with the whole Next-Generation-Simpsons in 'Holidays of the future past' universe.

Davoid, signing off