Day five: doubtful

Makoto stood leaning against the bar, drink in hand, alone and watching as Rin's coach spoke about his redheaded lover with great praise. Haruka had been stuck talking to an apparent fan of his, trying to be polite and answer all the questions he could, not being interested one bit. But Makoto was used to this happening. Used to his Haruka and his Rin getting all these events and parties and guests and people wanting to talk to them, to be in their presence, to listen to what they have to say and get a response, even if it's just a simple yes or no.

And to be honest, Makoto was starting to feel...doubtful.

His lovers, they were special. They were talented and because of that people wanted to be around them. It wasn't high school anymore, and so the tallest's kindness could only get him so far, and his looks had only gotten him a girl's attention for all the wrong reasons. And being a teacher? What was so special about that?

He felt guilty for feeling this way. Makoto only agreed to come tonight because he had missed the last few parties for both Haruka and Rin, making up excuses. Work being at the top of the list, but when he said he was tired and needed to rest, he actually meant it most of the time. Go to event, Haruka or Rin gets praise, always end up on the sidelines, leaning against the bar, being left out and forgotten for most of the time to be alone and to watch other people have a good time. Lather, rinse, repeat.

They probably have more fun without me here, anyways...

"Hey, Mako!" The sulking man looked up, finding a pair of familiar red eyes staring at him, with a happy-turned-worried expression. "Hey...are you okay?

"I'm fine," Makoto answered, giving Rin a reassuring smile. "Having fun?"

The redhead shrugged. "It's just like any other thing we go to. Bit of chitchat, bit of food and free booze, same old, same old."

Makoto just nodded, biting the inside of his cheek and scanning the crowd to find Haruka still talking to the same woman.

"Makoto." Rin's voice was a bit more forceful. "Something's wrong, I can tell." Rin placed a hand on Makoto's shoulder, and the tallest refused to make eye contact. "...Mako. Please?"

Guilt was eating Makoto apart, trying to decide if he should be selfish and tell Rin how he really felt. His grip on the glass in his hand tightened as he sighed, closing his eyes and looking down.

"...I shouldn't be here."

"Makoto, what do you mean-"

And he just let it come all out.

"Every time, it happens every single time I come with you and Haru. You two are the reason why people come to these things, and me too, but...I just stand here, because I'm just...some literature teacher that isn't special at all."

Rin didn't know what to say about Makoto's sudden feelings. Taking a moment to collect himself, he breathed and started again.

"I feel bad. I feel bad for lying to you two when I started feeling like this so I wouldn't have to come, because all I do is watch you and Haru, and no one even comes and talks to me and..." he paused, mentally telling himself not to cry. "I'm sorry, I have to go outside-"

Makoto set his glass on the counter of the bar and walked as fast as he could through the crowd of people to the hotel exit, ignoring Rin calling his name behind him. The cool night air hit his face as his pace quickened to a jog, heading for the park he saw nearby when they arrived earlier. Reaching his destination and taking a seat on the first bench he saw, he covered his face with his hands and immediately cried, wishing he never said anything to Rin in the first place.

"I'm so stupid..." he mumbled to himself, pulling on his jacket as a cold breeze blew by.

It wasn't long before he heard two pairs of footsteps come closer to him, and he knew exactly who they belonged to.

"...go away, please. Just leave me alone-"

"Makoto." Haruka spoke, taking the larger hands in his, kneeling infront of him. He could see those familiar blue eyes looking up at him filled with worry, and it made him feel even worse. "Please, tell us what's wrong."

Choking back another sob, he shook his head, returning his eyes to look down at his black slacks. The tallest flinched when he felt something being placed over him, Rin's jacket, and felt Haruka lightly squeeze his hands.

"Please, Mako."

"I just...I don't want to make you two upset."

"Makoto." Rin wrapped his arms around Makoto's large shoulders, resting his head on his upset lovers. "I don't like it when you're upset, and I promise, Haru and I won't be upset at all, right?" Haruka nodded. "See?"

Makoto took a deep breath. "I just...I've been thinking. Comparing myself to you two, I'm just so...ordinary."

"And what's so bad about that?" Haruka asked.

"Every time I go to things for you or Rin, I...stand there. No one really talks to me and it makes me feel like I don't really feel like I belong or even should be there, because who wants a nobody to be there, much less talk to one? So I made up excuses the last few times, that I was busy or tired or anything, because I felt like I was just the tag-a-long teacher that no one wants to pay attention to because I'm not an inspiring writer or amazing athlete-" Makoto hiccuped, closing his eyes. "-and I didn't want to tell because I didn't want that to stop you from going to these things since you really should attend since they're for you or think that I'm complaining and a bother because I'm just stupid and-"

"Hey." Rin stopped him, unlatching himself to kneel beside Haruka. "Look at me, Makoto."

Even though he didn't want to, Makoto did so anyway, opening his teary eyes to look at blue and red.

"Makoto Tachibana, you are not, in any way, a bother or stupid. I had a feeling something was wrong the last few times you said that you couldn't come with us, but you should have told me or Haru that you were feeling this way." Rin said, quietly. "And boring? Ordinary? Makoto, you are the most interesting and wonderful person in this entire world, you're even better than me and Haru."

"That's...not true..."

"It is. People only go to these things if they can just to say they met someone they see on the news or anywhere else. Did you see that woman that wouldn't leave me alone?" Makoto nodded, slowly meeting Harka's eyes. "She only wanted to talk to me because she thought she had the chance to use her 'sex appeal' to sleep with me."

"...are you fucking serious?" Rin said, disgusted, and Haruka's expression said it all. "Well, that's happened to me sometimes too, but damn. She was talking to you for like...an hour."

"You guys..."

"And Makoto, I swear if you ever get the thought in your head that we might cheat on you at all with someone, I'll quit swimming." Rin swore.

"And I'll stop writing."

Green eyes widened, as his lovers were serious. "N-no, you can't-"

"We love you, Makoto." Haruka brought Makoto's hand to his mouth and kissed the cold skin. "We love our good-natured, handsome, thoughtful-"

"Amazing in bed." Rin added, a grin on his face.

"-amazing in bed, best teacher in the world Makoto, and we wouldn't have it any other way. And we can stop going to all of these things, it's no big deal, really."

Makoto smiled, sniffling. "I love you, too."

"Do you want to go back in or head home?" Rin asked. "If we do leave I just gotta tell my coach I'm leaving."

The tallest shook his head, squeezing his lovers' hands. "Can we just go home? I just want to go to sleep."

The two on the ground smiled, standing up, tugging Makoto with them so he was standing, hands all laced together.

"Yeah, let's go home."

Author's note: And once again, sad!Makoto breaks my heart.