AN: A little bit of reflection from Blaine during "Dance With Somebody". Inspired by lyrics from "Beautiful Soul" by Jesse McCartney
I had never really understood Kurt's problem with me talking to Sebastian. I had thought of the guy as a friend until he had tried to blind me with a laced slushy meant for Kurt. That act had showed me the real Sebastian, though I still hadn't understood Kurt's feelings. How could he ever think that there would be anyone else for me but him. Then I had seen his texts from Chandler - and suddenly realization dawned on me. I suddenly knew the fear that you might be losing someone you loved to someone else.
After just hearing Kurt's rendition of "I Have Nothing", I knew that despite the angry words that had been exchanged and the fears of losing him to New York, I still wanted him in my life. No one else could fill the space that Kurt did. No one could ever make me feel the way that Kurt did.
Still I couldn't take back the words and actions that had already been exchanged. I couldn't change the fact that Kurt would be leaving for NYADA in the fall and I would be stuck here in Lima. I was so scared that I was going to lose him to the city, or to someone so much more sophisticated than me, that I had been trying to put distance between us now to save me some pain further down the line. All I was doing was sabotaging what we had now. I saw that now, but how did I explain that to him. How could I make him see, that he was the only one I wanted.
I couldn't find the words. I didn't know how to fix this. All I knew was that I wanted Kurt with all his quirks, compassion, and annoying habits. No pretty face could ever match what I saw within Kurt, and that was who I had fallen in love with. Who I wanted for all time.