Dear Diary:
Wow, there are a lot of books here I haven't read before. Since I have nothing better to do, being kidnapped as I am, let's start going through them!
* Fantastic Beast Kings and Where to Feel Them because of course. I did not read this one. I did flip through it and someone's handwriting wrote "Needs more women." Well yes, mysterious writer.
* Genealogy of the Holy War, which I have fondly retitled "Way to Ruin it, Sigurd." I mean wow, I look great in comparison because at least I didn't get all my friends killed. Wow. Mysterious writer wrote "Feel-good story of the year!"
* Blazing Blade, which is the tale of a lot of people doing a lot of things, but I can't handle the "Desmond hates his son Zephiel and tries to kill him" plot. Mysterious writer says, "Great comedy, but it was a little unrealistic. Who would care if they had a child unless they can blow stuff up?"
* How to Tame Your Dragon, which is apparently about - porn. This book is porn. Mysterious writer says it's hot. Next!
HOLY CRAP MOST OF THESE BOOKS ARE ASHNARD'S AND HALF ARE HORRIBLE TALES OF DEATH AND THE OTHER HALF ARE PORN
WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME
I QUIT