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CHAPTER TWO...
... Enjoy the show!
"That's pretty much everything" Jimmy says.
After my performance Jimmy was a lot nicer to me he has been showing me around the camp site all day, making me laugh, smile and told me he was sorry for this morning. I forgave him in seconds he's to nice to hold a grudge against. I smile to him as he helped me walk over large section of grass I grasped his arm walking over it and steadied myself and stopped as I felt Jimmy didn't move. Still looking down I fix my skirt as Jimmy says.
"Dot, Bette this is Bonnie, bonnie this is Dot and Bette" he tells me.
I hold in a gasp at seeing the two headed woman, women standing in front of me.
"Hi" I smile to them.
"I thought customers weren't allowed back here?" Dot says unhappy.
"She isn't, she works here now she a sword swallower" his grin was big as he said the last part.
Bette seem interested with a soft smile on her face and wide eyes.
"I could show you sometime just come by my tent any time for a private show, no charge" I smile to them.
"Bet that's not the only thing you swallow for free" Dot said walking off.
I huff and look to Jimmy wanting some type of apology. He narrowed his eye shrugging, it came clear he had no clue that Dot had a crush on him. We just start to walk through more of the camp even though we have already been through this part.
"That was unbelievably rude" I laugh. "And not at all true" I tell him making sure that was clear.
"Don't mind them there new to the show and don't really trust any one but the people here" he says.
I nod dropping the conversation, don't want to get on the headliners bad side.
"Thank you for showing me around I appreciate it" I smile to him.
"Yeah" he smiled looking down trying to hide his blushing cheeks.
...
That night I came to meet everyone's company, but I stayed close by Jimmy mostly talking and setting near him or his tight group of friends, Paul and Eve. Sarah was nowhere to be found neither was Danny I didn't mind though all they ever did was cause problems and a peaceful night without them sounds nice. At the large dinner table people all shapes and sizes were laughing telling story's and playing around the table as we all ate.
"You like it here so far" Jimmy ask in a whisper to me.
"Yeah actually I do" I nod and smile to him as I pop a piece of food in my mouth.
This place is a family and for once I feel like I might find myself a spot in the family more then the black sheep.
"What'd ya say you're name was?" Asks the bearded lady, Ethel darling, Jimmy's mother.
"Bonnie Tall" I tell her.
Shifting my body away from her son a bit she didn't seem to happy about how close we were.
"Tall?" Her accident heavy.
I nod.
"Mr. Tall the seven foot man, yer know him?" She asks.
The question catches everyone attention. My fathers show was big, pretty much the only successful show for a long time. Till his passing two years ago then the shows stop and everyone either went their own way but I heard there are still a few people performing with the shows name.
"That was my father" I tell her.
"I use to work it that show years ago, yer pa was a good man" she says it sounded like she was convincing me.
"Yeah" I nod. "Thank you"
I sat there for a second trying to forget my dad trying to forget all the heart ache but thinking of it still sends me in a bad place.
"You okay?" Jimmy asks putting his hand on my back.
"Yeah" I nod. "I'm gonna go to bed see ya tomorrow, Jimmy"
I pat his hand that was on the table as I stood as I walked out of the room I saw the Siamese twins, Dot and Bette fallow me out. I don't mind them and continue to walk to my tent knowing I'll probably have to tare Sarah and Danny off of each other so I can sleep. As I continue to my tent the mean head finally speaks.
"Hey!" Dot calls out to me.
The last thing I want to do is really give her a reason to dislike me. I turn to face her, them.
"Yes?" I ask.
I cross my arms for warmth as I wait for her to talk.
"You don't belong here" she tells me her voice filled with hate. "Your nothing special just a common slut"
My eyes widen in anger. I know I'm a normal girl but I'm definitely not a slut.
"Do you want something?" I ask meanly tilting my head.
Her other head Bette seem uncomfortable, upset with the whole situation. Poor girl.
"I want you to stay away from my friends" she tells me. "They may not see it now but your nothing but a normal girl a customer you'll never understand him"
I just start laughing all this name calling for a boy God this girl needs to grow up.
"What's so funny?" She asks.
Every time she talks her voice and demeanor sounds and acts like she on top of the world, knows everything.
"Don't talk to me again till you get down from your high horse" I chuckle and continue to my I enter the small tent Sarah, Danny and I share I was shocked I was here by myself. I half expected to walk in on Sarah and Danny enjoying each others company however, I'm happy I didn't. I change in to my light pink silk pajamas pants and button up shirt then I proceed for bed, washing my face and brushing my hair. I laid down on my cot closing my eyes drowning out the sounds of people off in the distance.
NEXT DAY
I woke in the early morning before any were awake and went to the main tent. It's been a long time since I was up on stage I felt like such a fake up here. I haven't practiced my show with swords in two years but I still practiced all my moves not wishing to lose any of the flexibility I have taught myself. Making sure no one else was around I unbutton my pale lime green dress with white trim and collar, I fold it neatly putting it on the stage next to me now only in my slip and under that corset I had the ability to move more freely with out restraint. On the stage I lower myself in to the splits, twirling my hands I put them in front of me then begin to lean down and touch my toes after a moment of my head resting on my leg I kick my front leg back now I lay on my stomach with my palms on the ground in front of me quickly I twist my body now I lay on my back with my palms still on the floor I raise my body in the center up holding myself in a bridge with my arms and legs, after another moment I kick my legs up holding a hand stand for less then a second before finishing a flip and landing on my feet facing the back of the stage quickly I turn on my heels give and courtesy and pretend to take to sword from my mouth and give another bow to my invisible crowd.
"Now only to do that with a sword" I tell myself breathing deeply.
...
The next few weeks I woke up early to practice my routine the first few days I did it with nothing then for a week and a half I did it with a coat hanger till I perfected that and now I am going to try this for real. I entered the tent this time late at night after another show I just simple swallowed a sword but now to practice my real show. Still in my blood red corset, ruffed black shorts, black fishnets, over the knee socks striped red and black and black heels. I can do this. I remind myself. First I licked my blade the metal is starting to grow on me again then I swallowed it relaxing myself I did the splits till I made my way to be in the bridge position, hand stand and finally flip with a turn on my heels I pull the blade out and bow.
I jump back when I see I have an audience. Jimmy was sitting in the first row of the seats his grin big as he stood clapping.
"Wow" he said in awe. "Your amazing!"
"Thanks" I say shyly.
"I thought you couldn't move your body so much when you have a sword down your throat but I guess i was wrong" he laughed.
"It took me years to learn how to twist my body without hurting myself" I confess.
"Your really talented!"
"Thanks" I look down trying to hide me blushing.
"When did ya learn to do that?" He ask.
He walks up the steps of the stage facing me.
"I started when I was ten but that show I didn't start till I was fourteen" I tell him.
I sit down on the stage not wanting to stand on my legs anymore I've been on them all day.
"That's young"
"Yeah I guess" I shrug. "I just wanted to be useful, special"
"You talk like being deformed is a good thing?"
He shifted his stance not comfortable with what I might answer. I sigh.
"I know what your thinking, Jimmy. You think I'm normal not deformed why am I upset" I sigh. "My dad ran a freak show his whole life was about oddities of beauty and when I was born I wasn't anything just a baby"
Why am I telling him this? I hardly ever tell my sister these deep thoughts and I'm telling a boy who most likely won't understand.
"I was shunned, black sheep of the family ya know" I gesture to him as I say my next sentence. "The way you feel out side this show is the same way I felt in my home, it was awfully I just wanted to be the same as everyone else"
"But!" He protested. "You could go out there make something of your self, damn your pretty enough to snag a rich man what are you still doin here?!" He ask pacing.
"It doesn't matter if your pretty or a freak nobody out there is going to help you the only thing that matters in this world is family, not looks not money not normal, family!"
He stood there looking at me.
"Family" he muttered.
"All the pretty things in the world couldn't but me someone who loves me as much as my sister and honestly what most normal people find as freaks i find beautiful, I wish I could be more then a pretty face have something worth seeing but I'm not I'm just normal" I sigh.
"You know what i wouldn't give to be normal!" He shouted.
I stood to my feet.
"I do know!" I shout back. "You'd give as much as I would to be abnormal! You want to fit in out in that world and I want to fit in to this one"
"Why?!" He paced angry. "This is nothing more then taking the money of people who want to laugh at you all damn day!"
"Maybe in your head but what I see is a mother who knows your hers and place you fit in and family who would do anything for you, I'd give anything for that!" I shouted. "I'd give anything for my fathers love for him to look at my and see a deformity so he would know I was his by blood instead of always leaving him with doubt. Doubt of me, of my mother faithfulness if I had your hands I would of had love in my life and any amount of deformity is worth that!"
Oh god I didn't mean to say all that, why did I say all that? I hadn't meant to mention my father and all my dads doubts about me and my mom. I look to the ground feeling ashamed of all I've said, of all I am.
"Look I'm sorry I didn't know" Jimmy sighed.
"It's okay" I nod lowly.
I kick my feet back and forth trying to get the fight out of my head. I said so many things I never wanted him to know and now he does.
"Just forget it please, I'm sorry" I beg him.
"Forgotten, forgiven I'm sorry"
"Forgotten, forgiven" I tell him walking close to him.
I open my arms and wrap them around his neck hugging him. His body close to mine felt comforting, I haven't hug some beside my sister in a long time, heck I haven't hugged my sister in a long time. After a moment I let go and smile to him. I felt awful about yelling at him at it felt awful to be yelled at by him but hopefully things can only get better from this.
"I think I should get to bed, you should do the same" I tell him.
"Yeah" he nodded.
"Goodnight Jimmy"
I kiss him on his cheek and walk off the stage heels clicking on the wooden ground.
"Goodnight Bonnie" he says lowly.
Before I exited the tent I looked behind me to see Jimmy holding his cheek with a grin on his face. I smile. I walk to my trailer I no longer share a tent with Danny and Sarah in fact Sarah and Danny no longer have a tent but share a trailer together. Walking in my trailer I felt lightheaded so much has happened to night I just want all the bad to go away and all the good to stay. As my eyes closed after my head hits my pillow all I could dream about was Jimmy, Jimmy Darling.
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