Kakashi's hands were numb.
He was pretty sure that this is what woke him up. His eyes fluttered open a little bit and he frowned upon seeing butter cup yellow walls instead of sky blue like the ones in his room and instantly knew that he wasn't home. He looked down at himself and blinked as he noted that his hands were tied tightly in front of him and he was apparently half naked.
Bloody fucking- Just how much had he been drinking the night before? Because that was the only reasonable explanation for why he was currently tied up and laying butt naked in an unfamiliar room... Unless he had been kidnapped or something.
He grunted as the thought crossed his mind and rolled over onto his back and lifted his bound hands to his mouth and started working the ropes. It didn't matter if he had been kidnapped or not. To him this was nothing more than business as usual. He freed his hands and slowly pushed himself upright, feeling just a little surprised that the room didn't spin or he didn't get nauseous and looked around the room a little more as he rubbed the feeling back into his hands.
His clothes were no where to be found in this room, meaning that someone had either taken them after he had passed out, or he had stripped his mask, head band, and pants off at some point in time. There was a little book shelf across the room from him, piled high with scrolls and tattered old books.
Maybe those scrolls and books could give him an idea of where he was or who had tied him up. He got off of the bed and walked over to the shelf and picked up an old, faded and torn coloring book and frowned as he looked at the picture of the kittens playing on the cover. He glanced over his shoulder at the door.
Did this person have a kid? Cause if so then he would have to be very careful or he would have no choice but to murder it. And he didn't want that. Not now that things were different in the village. Not now that there wasn't a war going on.
He flipped the coloring book open and blinked at the name scrawled across the bottom of the first page in bright green and blue and red colors.
Naru Uzumaki
And just like that all of the pieces fell together in his mind. He finally recalled going to the bar to drink and hook up with some random woman and instead drank too much while talking with his former student and had her take him home with her so that he wouldn't end up sleeping in a ditch somewhere.
He must have fallen into his old familiar pattern of doing strange things and Naru had had no choice but to tie him up and let him sleep off the effects of the alcohol. This was a very small comfort to him since he knew her. It was also a very small comfort to him because he now had to leave the bedroom that she had placed him in and face her. And he just knew that she was going to be unbelievably pissed.
He sighed and put the coloring book down and ran his fingers through his shaggy silver hair and walked over to the door and quickly checked it to make sure that it wasn't locked or something and opened the door and stepped out into the hall way and silently closed the door and wished that he wouldn't have to face her without his pants on.
It was just so fucking embarrassing.
He walked down the hall to see if she was in her room and was just a little bit nervous when he saw that her bed was empty. Which meant that she was up. Dammit. He quietly sighed and turned on his heel and walked back down the hall towards the living room and paused when he saw his pants neatly folded on the couch and his mask draped across the small bundle along with his head band.
He started to edge forward a little bit wary of what Naru might do to him now that he was awake. He heard the distinct sounds of Naru being in the kitchen, the sizzle of food being cooked was a clear give away which gave him the confidence he needed to snatch up his pants, mask and head band. And quickly pull two of the items on and into place before he even bothered to leave the safety of the hallway, and walk over to the counter that separated the living room from the kitchen and tapped on the top twice to get Naru's attention.
Naru turned her head and looked at him and he inwardly cringed. Oh fuck, she did not look happy to see him at all.
"Kakashi. Your vertical-" Her eyes drifted lower as she craned her neck a little bit. Kakashi's face flamed for some unknown reason and he tried to resist the urge to squirm. "And you've finally decided to put your pants back on. How nice."
"Naru look I-"
"Have some very peculiar bad habits when your drunk. Like peeing on my furniture, and humping things at random. You owe me a new pillow since you humped the one I liked to use. And your doing my laundry from last night since you sprayed your jizz on me too-" Kakashi stopped trying to talk and did cringe this time.
Jesus fucking Christ-
"I can't begin to tell you how sorr-" Kakashi was cut off again when Naru slammed an empty cup down on the counter in front of him, causing him to flinch a little bit.
"Coffee?" Naru asked in a cheerful tone that didn't bode well for him. He nodded his head mutely and she turned away from him and picked up a tea kettle and turned back to him and poured a dark almost sludge like liquid into the cup that she had put on the counter and he picked it up and sniffed at it. Feeling just a little suspicious of it since she was pissed at him.
The smell was almost as nauseating as the liquid itself. What had she made this with? Raw sewage? Kakashi wondered as he took an experimental sip and nearly spat it back out as his eyes teared up. Naru gave him a dazzling smile and he subconsciously swallowed the bitter liquid. Damn. Naru must be trying to kill him for what he had done last night, because that was the only thing he could think of for her behavior.
"Hungry Kashi-chan?"
He put the 'coffee' down and shook his head no. He was just a little scared of what else she might put in front of him. Naru shrugged her shoulders and fixed herself a plate of eggs over easy and some toast and bacon then grabbed a fork and went to sit down at the dining room table. Oddly enough Kakashi followed her and sat down across from her and folded his hands in his lap.
"I'm sorry about my behavior last night Naru. I normally don't drink that much." Kakashi said softly after a second or so and Naru sighed and pushed her plate of food away untouched then looked at him.
"I'm not really that mad about it Kakashi-" He gave her a doubtful look as if to say 'oh really' and 'explain the coffee to me then'. "I was pissed because of something that happened earlier and just taking it out on you a little bit."
Kakashi blinked with a shell shocked look on his face and pointed to the coffee cup that she had given him as if to say, 'I didn't have to drink it? And you let me!' Instead he settled for a soft irritated growl of, "That's cruel Naru."
She gave him a small shrug of her shoulders but said nothing. He was right. Sort of.
Giving him that coffee had been a very cruel and unusual thing to do. But she sort of owed him for humping her favorite pillow. So really she had used it to try and teach him a lesson. And it had worked too. He wouldn't be accepting any food or drinks from her for a very, very long time if the dark look on his face was any indication at all before he snatched her plate of food and started eating it right in front of her. Or not. She mused as he took a big bite of eggs and chewed as he glared at her.
The bastard.
"So what was it that upset you Naru?" Kakashi asked as in between bites of food. What Naru knew that he meant to say was, 'Who do I have to hurt in retaliation for that damned coffee?'
"Do you remember asking me why I was drinking last night?" Kakashi stopped eating and set the pilfered fork down and sat up strait in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest and stared at her for a second, he was pretty sure that whatever had driven her to drink was pretty bad. In fact he'd bet his life on it.
"I do." He said after a second or so. She nodded and for some odd reason his heart leapt into his throat.
"Well the reason that I was drinking last night was because of Sauske. I took him down a few pegs and emasculated him. And about two hours ago an Anbu showed up on my door step telling me that I've been summoned to the tower for a talk with the elders because Sauske has told them a bunch of lies about me that could cost me the title of Hokage." Kakashi blinked then asked.
"What did he do?"
Naru gave him a tight lipped humorless smile. "Apparently Sauske is of the opinion that I'm the whore of Babylon or some stupid shit, and he plans to make this public knowledge so that I'll be properly used by the right people-"
"What!"