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ENJOY THE SHOW

Sarah has finally stopped her sobbing for Danny although, I heard I was the one to replace it but now that I am okay she done weeping which is the best thing I could hear right now. Well second best tonight we finally have a full house, all coming to see Jimmy. I smile at the thought of so many people here to see him thank him for his braver.

"Are you excited?" Sarah asks me pinning my curls into place.

I smile to her reflection in the mirror.

"Of course! Aren't you?" I ask.

"Yes!" She hopped.

We both giggle finally two sisters happy with their life… at least for the moment.

I look down to the clock seeing we only had ten minutes till show time. Sarah finished my hair and I finished my red lips and we rushed out of the trailer to the back entrance of the main tent. We stood their together waiting to perform, Sarah was cued and she left for the stage. I looked around I always did catch Jimmy's eyes and I wanted to do so like I have every other night. I couldn't find him in the crowned of crannies, in fact I couldn't find a few faces that I knew weren't on stage.

Jimmy, Ethel, Desiree, Dell, or the Pinheads. I knew it was normal Dell wasn't here, he didn't always show up and he was most likely with Desiree she is his wife after all but where was everyone else?

I cut throw the crowned of crannies to the exit I want to know Jimmy's alright. I did see him earlier, practicing his juggling and jokes it was sweet. I didn't bother him, I was going to but Ethel walked up to him and I would rather not speak to her.

I walked out of the tent pulling my flora shawl around me. I shiver in it I wasn't dressed for the weather more for a burlesque club. I walk till I saw who I was looking for, Jimmy. He was helping Desiree walk blood of his hand. Ethel was talking to them in panic.

"Dear God what happened?" I ask running up.

I look to Jimmy his eyes looked guilty, of what though?

"Ever ones in there fer yer, Jimmy" Ethel protested.

I looked to Desiree her legs had blood spilling down, then I looked to Jimmy blood covered webbed fingers. Too many things made since right there.

I thought he liked me? I look to Jimmy pouting with big bambi eyes.

"Yer too!" Ethel looked to me. "Show time, go! I'll take care of her, Jimmy. Go"

Jimmy listened handing the bleeding girl to his mother.

I didn't say a word to him didn't look at him again. I know we aren't together but still I thought that at any moment we would be. Guess not. He likes them older, married, with a confused body, and easier. Jerk.

"Bonnie, Bonnie!" I heard my sister calling me over the loud noises of the crowned.

I ran to the tent knowing it was my turn to entertain the mass of people and tonight wasn't the night to be late. I ran up to Sarah who grabbed my hair placing it back perfectly and pushing me to the curtain.

"Where were you?" She asks angrily pulling off my shawl.

I catch my breath and as soon as I do it was my cue. I entered the center stage with a smile battering my big eyelashes at the men.

I did my performance without a thought of Jimmy I knew better than to be thinking of things like that while dealing with my swords. I left the stage with clapping coming from my audience. After that I was suppose to mingle with the normal people of Jupiter and that what I did. Children played, men winked, women laughed it was like any other night only with more people.

I smiled, laughed, told stories as I wonder things in my mind.

Perhaps I thought more of Jimmy and mine's further then Jimmy did? Or maybe we're not together so it doesn't matter what he does? Not till we're together. But why would he be getting under her skirt when he could be trying to be mine, my boyfriend? I thought Jimmy was different, different from all the boys Sarah dated from all the boys in my life that eyed me like a piece of art they could buy.

Am I being too possessive? Would Jimmy even bat an eye if I was fooling around with some guy while I was sweet talking him? Is that how it works? I would ask Sarah but all her bows end up cheating or hitting. I wish I just understood what was going on in his head.

Everyone left leaving behind a mess; I was cleaning up a bit anything to get my mind off Jimmy. I long ago stopped shivering from the cold air my body used to it by now I picked up a few things from the ground throwing them away loosening my hold of my shawl as I did so and in that moment a gust of wind blew the fabric from my shoulders I turned to find where it has gone to see a tall man dressed well in an all white suite grabbing it back from the wind.

A smile crept upon my lips for this stranger.

"Here you go pretty girl" He smiled, he was handsome as he handed me back my wrap.

I took it with a smile and draped it around my shoulders.

"Thank you"

I look down than up and took note this man comes from money.

"Gosh, you are pretty" he said in awe a light accent was in his voice. "I saw you up on that stage and knew I had to meet you"

I blushed from his compliments. I knew it was odd for this man to be here after everyone else has gone but still he was charming.

"Well now you've meet me" I smile and ready my feet to leave.

"Wait!" he rushed out of his mouth. "I didn't mean to startle you" he laughed lightly embarrassed a bit. "I do suppose I sound a bit of a creep. I don't mean to it is just your breath taking"

I stopped as he ask eyes wide to his quick confessions.

"I'm sorry" it was all I could think of to say.

"Oh, don't be… I'm Richard Ross I should have started with that I know" again he laughs embarrassed.

He held his hand out. I took it.

"Bonnie Tall"

"Well Bonnie it's nice to finally meet you"

"Finally?" I questioned. "How long have you been waiting?"

"A month or so to be truthful when I saw you I couldn't get you out of my mind" he spoke nerves.

"Oh" I blush.

I don't know if this should scare me or not? He's nice and from money so must have manners but still I don't know him.

"I'll let you return to whatever it was I interrupted but I do have a question before I leave"

"Of course"

"Would it be alright it if I come to the show when I return to Jupiter?"

"Yes, of course" I answer without thought.

Perhaps I should have thought about that before answering but then again I don't want to deny this man without anyone around.

His smile grew and he placed a sweet kiss on my hand.

"Till than Miss. Tall"

I blush again, head down from his attention.

"Bye" I wave as he left skip in his step.

Jimmy. It was the name that my thought flung to. Than all that attention I just received from the rich stranger didn't feel as good as before. I need to go see him.

I left to see Ethel walking alone to her trailer. I ran up to her for news of Desiree.

"Is she okay?" I ask Ethel the moment I reached her.

She turned to look at me, she sighed before answering.

"Yerh, she fine"

"What happened?" I ask fast.

"It wasn't Jimmy's fault if that's what yer askin" She grumbled anger as she walked up the steps to her trailer.

"What happened than" I ask low head down.

"She had a miscarriage"

"Oh" I sighed.

That was horrible, that wasn't right. That poor baby never gonna be born and she gonna have to live with that. All that jealous I had, anger, name calling I had already left she doesn't need that doesn't deserve that.

"I'm sorry" I tell Ethel.

"Yerh, yerh" She waved me away opening her trailer door ready to shut it.

I felt awful but I had to know.

"It was Dell's right?" I ask hopping to god she says yes.

She stopped and turned to me face in disbelief. I don't understand what was so shocking about the question.

"Yerh it was" and after that she shut the door.

I sighed in relief as I made my way to Jimmy's trailer. He'll be happy to know it wasn't his fault.

I knocked on his trailer I waited but no one came to the door, I knocked a few more times still nothing. I turned the knob it was unlocked like most the other doors here. I peeked my head inside to see Jimmy sitting on his bed in complete darkness.

"Jimmy" I call to him soft as I entered. "Hey" I smile to him softly knowing he must think everything is his fault.

He grunted and shifted.

"Your mother and Desiree are back I thought you should know it's not your fault, nothing was" I tell him walking closer. "The bleeding and all wasn't caused by you, she had a miscarried you just happened to be there" I explain.

He looked up to me tears fighting to spill from his eyes.

"Why are you still here?" He yells to me.

I jump from his level of voice. I tense up as tears flow freely from his eyes.

"Everything's my fault!" he protested. "Meep, god poor Meep" He sobbed.

I relax I felt awful for that poor boy but I felt worse for the toll it took of Jimmy.

"Jimmy" I try to comfort him.

I walked closer reaching out to put my hands on his shoulders.

"Jimmy, its gonna be alright"

He shoved my hands away from him crying harder, face red with anger.

"NO!" He shouted.

I caught myself on his dresser as he stood.

"Why don't you just leave now instead of waiting we all know your gonna leave so just do it now" He beg, some word shouting others I could barely hear.

I felt bad for him but my God was this getting old and now I'm mostly just anger.

"God damn it, Jimmy!" I yelled at him. "Are you ever gonna stop with this crap?!" I ask still yelling.

He stood there face growing more red.

"I was stupid to think a normal girl like you could be different" he says lowly like a snake spitting venom at me.

I stood there tears in my eyes falling down to my cheeks heartbroken that the one person I thought saw me for me didn't, I was wrong about Jimmy Darling.

"No, Jimmy" I stop him, taking in ragged breaths. "I was the stupid one to think a boy like you could be different" I sob lowly trying to hold myself together. "I'm nothing to you except a normal girl and Jimmy you're gonna hate me forever for that"

I turned fast whipping my face hard turning it more intense shades of red running out of his trailer crying hard in my hands from his cruelty. I ran to my trailer shutting and locking the door fast I slid down the door crying over a boy who just broke my heart.

I thought I was more than just a girl who couldn't understand him; for once I thought I could be loved for being normal. I'm sitting here on the floor heartbroken from the man everyone said I would break the heart of cause I'll want a normal man, instead it's him who doesn't want a normal girl. I sob harder, tears roll down my cheeks landing on the ground a blackish color from mixing with my mascara. My eyes are tired and puffy and my crying is starting to burn but I just couldn't stop.

I tied standing shaky as I gripped the floor for support, I failed landing back on my bottom I cried out louder for a moment before trying again gripping the door as I stood. I shakily walked across my trailer to my bed but I caught my reflection in the mirror.

Ruined makeup streaming down my face was all that was unattractive beside that I was a bombshell and I hated it. I tore at my pins forcing my hair down accidentally ripping a few loose strands out I cried more as my curls fell into place looking a bit destroy but for the most part beautiful. Quickly I splashed water on my face grabbing a rag and soap I washed it raw leaving behind a red sobbing face instead of a ruined makeup.

After that I left for my bed my tears burning my cheeks as they rolled down silently. I striped from my outfit I wear for the show wobbling my way into my blue silk nightgown as soon as the fabric was on I fall to the bed holding the covers for dear life weeping into them.

I was beautiful, skinny, well breasted, with lovely curves, a great bottom and stunning legs. I have two eyes, two ears, one nose, one mouth, two arms, two legs, and two breasts nothing wrong with me nothing makes me different.

'To beautiful to be your mothers' my father's voice haunts me mind. 'To small of features to be mine' he continued to deny me a place in his heart, his family. 'To normal to belong here' indeed to normal for Jimmy to ever love me. It was added to my many reason of hating this body I was given. I was in the wrong world looking for a family no one here wants me, loves me, and cares for me. I'm nothing but another pretty face I'm not wroth him I know that what they think. If I was different if I was an oddity I would have everything, Daddy, mama, a family larger then blood, and Jimmy.

'To beautiful to be your mothers, to small of features to be mine, to normal to belong here, to normal for Jimmy to ever love you' my father voice repeated in my head.

'To beautiful to be your mothers, to small of features to be mine, to normal to belong here, to normal for Jimmy to ever love you. To beautiful to be your mothers, to small of features to be mine, to normal to belong here, to normal for Jimmy to ever love you. To beautiful to be your mothers, to small of features to be mine, to normal to belong here, to normal for Jimmy to ever love you. To beautiful to be your mothers, to small of features to be mine, to normal to belong here, to normal for Jimmy to ever love you. To beautiful to be your mothers, to small of features to be mine, to normal to belong here, to normal for Jimmy to ever love you. To beautiful to be your mothers, to small of features to be mine, to normal to belong here, to normal for Jimmy to ever love you.'

*Sniffle* Oh geez this chapters sad :,(

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