Well everyone, it has been over a year since I started this story. I can't tell you how surprised, proud, and excited I am about the feedback I have gotten over the past year for this story. Since the last update I have learned that financial aid will not kick in in time for me to begin medical school in January so I will be unable to move to the Dominican in January as recently planned. All of these changes have left me in a strange lull and the worst case of writer's block that I have ever encountered. There is no escape from reality when even the literary world won't take you away. The snuggle monkey known as Snickers the kitten has been doing well and I am preparing for my yearly holiday travels. 9 cities, 2 countries, 2.5 weeks. Bright side of all the traveling is that it gives me lots of time to potentially write and I hope to put out a chapter for most of my stories, if not all of them, on Christmas night/Christmas morning. With no plans for the upcoming spring besides working, I hope to finish chapters more regularly and potentially do a bunch of traveling abroad as I wait to see where I stand for medical school and apply to other programs. This chapter is short, but only because I want to post today rather than giving you an obscenely long chapter on Christmas (though I can tell you that the Christmas chapter is still long anyways since it is completely written minus one or two transitions at this point of time). Thank you guys for a year of rock hard support and I look forward to continuing writing for you in the upcoming years whether through this story or another.
Trastuspies- Thank you for the beautiful reminder of the anniversary. It means more to me than words can describe. I knew I had started writing this story in December of last year, but had lost track of time with the holiday madness and personal life chaos. Your reminder today (I guess yesterday cause I'm up ridiculously late again) helped me think back to all of the great things of this past year and finally I was able to sit down and break my writer's block. I don't really believe in dedicating chapters to people, but if I did, the reason this chapter is out today is you. Happy holidays.
Chapter 31:
Chihiro straightened out her pajama top for the fifth time as she tried to ignore Hikaru's pacing about her room. The cool night air sweeping in from her open window did little to ease her mind when she could hear him muttering about the lost argument. The results didn't settle right with her either, but she had already agreed to cooperate. Both of them had risen a fuss at the absurdity of Lin's idea, but somehow here they were. It was probably Lin's insistence that she and Haku would not talk it out unless forced to confront each other that had spiked her anger. Indeed her and the dragon did need to have a talk, but how does having to sleep with each other have anything to do with that? Looking back on it now, she wished she hadn't tried to outwit Lin in the discussion. Instead she should have simply said no and pushed on the subject, but it was too late for that. All the concerned parties had reluctantly agreed, though if Hikaru's pacing in front of the fire were anything to go by he was not happy about the arrangements either. Both of them were aware that the evening was just about done and it was almost time for her to retire.
His mutterings grew louder as he began to voice his thoughts to her. Grasping the window ledge in her hands, Chihiro gave it a squeeze before cutting him off.
"Hikaru, enough." A breath of silence followed before the soft sound of his footsteps thudded closer to her. Turning so that her back was to the window, she faced him. "I don't want to talk about the sleeping arrangements right now."
Hikaru's eyes darted up to the hairpins hidden within her hair and his eyes saddened. Closing the space between them so they were mere inches apart, he lifted his hands and began loosening the two ear shaped buns atop her head. His nimble fingers gently unwrapped her hair from each pin and took them out. Trying to ignore the hatred he felt as he looked down at the pulsing hair pins, Hikaru turned his attention to the woman before him.
"I wish you didn't have to wear these. You look so beautiful with your hair down," he said quietly as he gently caressed a lock of her hair. Averting her eyes and taking a deep breath to calm the sudden blush across her cheeks, Chihiro took the hair pins from him and slipped them into her pocket. Overcoming her embarrassment to meet his gaze, she smiled at him.
"Thanks. Maybe in time I won't need them anymore." In the intensity of the moment, neither of them had heard the knock upon the door. When the door suddenly swung open, both of them startled apart.
"It's time for bed Chihiro," Haku said icily as he took in their close proximity. Hikaru frowned at the missed moment as she bowed goodnight to him and began to walk over to Haku. Making eye contact with the dragon, Hikaru glared at him over the top of Chihiro's head. Guiding her out of the room with a gentle hand upon the back, Haku shot him back a mocking smile as he closed the door. They both knew who had won with this arrangement. Cursing quietly the fox weighed going after them against the risk of expulsion from the bathhouse. Squeezing his fists tight to relieve his tension, Hikaru sat down in the windowsill and stared out over the town. His fingers absentmindedly traced the black tattoo on his arm that made him a contracted man.
The first thing Chihiro noticed about Haku's room was the strategically placed candles to create a low lighted atmosphere. There was a bouquet of fresh flowers tied up in a vase on the bookshelf and the previously scorned box from this morning sat on his nightstand. Unlike last time where his clothes were threatening to swell out of the wardrobe, they were neatly tucked in order and closed away tonight. The most important disturbance to the normal chaos of his room however was a lack of change. There was no additional beds in the room. Turning on her heel to challenge Haku as he shut the bedroom door, Chihiro gave warning.
"I'm not sleeping in the same bed with you Haku. Why didn't you have a futon be brought up here from storage?" The romantic setting wasn't lost on her and she didn't want him getting any ideas. From his laid back response, it seemed he hadn't done it on purpose though.
"There's no need for another to be brought in. Don't get so wound up, the bed will be yours."
"What about you? Where will you sleep?" Haku looked up towards the rafters of his canopy bed and Chihiro followed his line of eye contact to see the way the wood was worn down there. The dull gleam of a discarded scale from one corner and a tuft of teal hair from another told her exactly what he was planning. "Is that even comfortable?"
"When I'm shifted it is easier to sleep up there then on the bed anyways. Or if you would prefer it I can curl up in front of the fire on the rug. Either way, I won't be in your bed so what does it matter to you." Walking past her he ignored the small frown that marred her lips and sat in front of the fire. After a moment's hesitation, Chihiro sat down beside him and gazed into the fire as well. "Care to share what's going on between you and the fox?"
"Nothing, we are just good friends," Chihiro replied on the defensive. This wasn't how she had seen this conversation going. Granted she was fairly confident that he hadn't wanted to start with her this way either based on the frown tugging on his lips.
"You might want to go over that again with him. He looks at you the way I do."
"And what exactly is that supposed to mean Haku? As far as I'm concerned you don't look at me as anything more than a pawn in this stupid game of yours."
"You're not a pawn-"
"Then what am I to you? Cause I sure as hell don't know where we stand." A moment of silence passed with only the sound of their breathing and the crackling of the fire. Getting up gracefully, Haku retrieved the box from the nightstand and set it in front of her before sitting back down.
"I think you should open the box now."
"Whatever you bought me has nothing to do with our discussion. Stop trying to distract me from the matter at hand!" Sighing loudly, Haku took the box back and silently untied the cord about it. Opening it up, he set it in front of her so she could see that it only contained a small piece of folded paper. Chihiro's brows knit in confusion, but she took Haku's hint. Muttering beneath her breath about confusing dragons, she picked up the paper and began unfolding it. The handwritten letter read as follows:
Dear Chihiro,
I know you are still probably furious with me about recent events and my lack of honesty regarding our mutual affairs. Catching you today at the border about to leave really helped put things into perspective for me. It's time for me to be honest about a few things and though I don't know the words to best communicate my feelings, I will try my hardest to make you understand.
I'm sorry that I didn't tell you how I felt from the moment you walked back into this world. I didn't think that you could bear the news after all that you had recently learned about the situation. Besides, would you have honestly believed that I loved you at that time? We had only spent a few meager days together previously and you didn't even remember them. I had long given up on the hope of you remembering your feelings for me, but still I yearned for you. Each day that we have spent together has only strengthened my feelings and though our path is difficult, I hope that you will stay by my side. The things that I do to protect you, to protect us, are not easy, but I promise that I will find a way for us to be happy together if you give me the chance.
These upcoming days will be challenging for us. Now that I have begun a game of intrigue with Hana I must see it through to the end of her scheduled time here. I also regret to inform you that I will not be offering you an invitation to the Lotus party on the eve before the ball. As I'm sure you will begin to overhear, the spirits looking to marry me host this garden party as a formal thank you for my services leading the bathhouse, and as such it is expected of me to attend. In reality the event is a sham for them to try and woo me, but it would raise questions and ire if I decline. With so many vicious spirits in one area, I would prefer you stay as far away as possible from the party until well after its end time. I'm sure you will be unhappy about this arrangement, but it is for the better good. I will not be coming home to you that night either, but rather returning straight to my river to purge whatever aphrodisiacs or corrupted magic they might have tried. If you were there in the gardens at the party, there is a chance you could be easily hurt or even worse, that whatever magic is in the air could cause a costly lapse in judgement for either of us.
When this damned festival is over and the threats of the world outside the bathhouse minimized, I want to sit down and talk about the important matters between us. I'm sorry that I cannot reveal all of my secrets right now in this letter, but find faith in the knowledge that you won't be in the dark much longer. Please give me the opportunity to rectify the errors I have made and court you properly once the bathhouse is safe again. I've come to accept that there is no turning back from my feelings and should you accept them, we will forge a new future together somehow.
Yours always,
Haku
Chihiro slowly folded the letter back up and held it gingerly in her hand. As angry as she was with Haku, she did feel slightly moved by his writing. Granted he wasn't agreeing to share with her everything he knew right now, but it was a start in the right direction. At least he was honest about the Lotus party. That would have surely led to more strife between them if she had learned about it from someone other than him.
"Would you prefer to go to sleep now and talk tomorrow night?"
"No, if you feel up to it, let's talk now." Chihiro mentally added in a few choice words at Lin for this situation and on the other side of the bathhouse, the weasel shifted over in her sleep peacefully without a care in the world. "In all honesty, I'm not sure how I feel about all of this. There is too much happening at the same time."
"We don't have to do this tonight Chihro. Now that I don't have to worry about you being exposed at the cleansing ceremony, we can find a way for you to enjoy the festival safely. You have worked hard here at the bathhouse and will be paid for your efforts so it's not like you won't have money to spend at the festival."
"We should talk about how we each feel about a relationship," Chihiro replied as she was cut off by a yawn, "but perhaps it can wait until after the festival."
"You don't have to give me your answer right now. I think I'd actually feel better if you waited a few days. Just to make sure you are certain before we move forward." Chihiro nodded her head and slowly rose to her feet.
"Then I guess I'll head to bed first then." As she began to walk past Haku reached out and took her hand gently within his.
"Will you forgive me?" The question lingered in the air between them as Chihiro bit her lip in consideration.
"My forgiveness does not grant you forbearance of my anger. It's hard to trust you after all of this." Haku mentally groaned as he thought about how she didn't know the half of it yet. He had created for himself an uphill battle and slicked the slopes with her tears. Releasing her hand, Haku smiled weakly at her as she moved away. They had a long way to go.
Chihiro awoke alone the following morning as the moon began to rise. Pushing back the covers, she peered around the edge of the bed frame to see if he were still sleeping above. The alcove was empty and didn't appear to have changed from when she first noticed it the other night. She stood up slowly and stretched as she made her way over towards the open balcony door. It appeared as if the wind had knocked over some books off the lower shelf of one of the bookcases by the door. Chihiro noted the empty balcony and kneeled down beside the books. Scooping up several of the books, she was about to put them back on the shelf when she noticed the smallest edge of paper sticking out from the bottom edge of the panel making up the bottom shelf. Curiosity getting the better of her, Chihiro moved the remaining books off the shelf and lifted up the panel. The trapped page that had gotten her attention was actually a black and white drawing amongst a small stack of other drawings. Holding the sketch up to the light, Chihiro recognized herself as the girl smiling back at her. In fact, almost all of the drawings were of her in some shape or form in a variety of normal activities and those that were not were of landscapes. Flipping through them she had to admit they were well done, until she reached the last one. The last picture seemed hastily drawn in pen, but it was the only one where she was not alone. Chihiro was drawn sleeping on the bank of a river and trapped within the river, a young boy that resembled Haku pressed his palms up against the surface reaching towards her. A knock on the door and the call of Hikaru's voice asking her if she was awake yet, startled Chihiro from the temporary freeze that she had fallen into looking at the image. Suddenly embarrassed of her snooping, Chihiro shoved the drawings back under the panel and rearranged the books on top as she had remembered them from the night before.
"I'm coming Hikaru, give me a sec," she called as she stood up and hurried towards the door. Thrusting it open, she smiled at him as the blush left her cheeks.
"Ready to start the morning," he asked as he took in her well-rested, semi calm state. Absentmindedly nodding her head yes, Chihiro walked back with him to her bedroom to retrieve fresh clothes. Though she was physically beside him, her mind was elsewhere examining the black-and-white drawings penned by a dragon.