KoraKendalls: My lips are sealed ;)
Chapter 17 -Happy Family
"Five hundred sovereigns!?" I squeaked, staring at the bill in mere disbelief as I wavered in between shock and anger. "For shoes? And dresses? You have to be kidding me!" The whole freaking treasury didn't hold that much. Ferelden had some serious debt. Why else would Loghain have sold citizens into Tevinter slavery? By now I had my very own list of people I would have loved to sell. Unfortunately, chances were low that anybody would have paid as much as a single copper for them. Quite the contrary.
"I can't run around in rags. I'm a lady and I deserve to dress like a lady," Goldanna snapped angrily, arranging the skirt of her dress around her as she occupied my sofa. Two weeks ago she and her children had moved into the palace until I would have found them a house that met my dear sister's completely unreasonable demands. It was not an easy task due to the fact that most of Denerim was still in ruins. Nothing was good enough for her. Her opinion, not mine. But Mrs. Couldry had advised me to butter her up, so that's what I did. The treasury had its rather narrow limits, though. So did I.
"Alright, let me get this straight. You receive a monthly payment—a considerable sum—yet you expect me to clear your debts with the tailors and shoemakers because…?" I inquired in a remarkably calm tone as I accepted the cup of tea my butler served. His presence and a decent cup of black tea with milk certainly helped keeping my temper reigned in. "Thank you, Arlington."
"I've been looked down upon by the so-called 'high and mighty' for all my life. Now I'm in charge and I finally get what I deserve. You owe me! You killed mother, that's what you did," Goldanna shrieked.
I cringed inwardly. No matter how often I told myself it wasn't my fault, no matter how often first Suri, now Mrs. Couldry and Rori assured me I was not to be blamed, whenever my dear sister repeated her accusation, she put her finger into a festering wound. Without me, Goldanna's mother wouldn't have died and left her daughter alone. Goldanna's mother, not mine. For me, she was merely the woman who had given birth to me. Goldanna refused to share her memories with me. Instead she kept them all to herself and never ceased to make sure I understood my existence was a sin I had to suffer for.
Goldanna gave a sniff at the plate Arlington put on the table in front of her. "What? No scones? You think you can fob me off with some dry biscuits, you twit!? I want scones! Now! No tea! Wine!" She slapped the tea cup out of Arlington's hands when he presented it to her, the porcelain shattering on the ground, hot tea splashing over Arlington and Goldanna's incredibly ugly and insanely expensive dress. "Now look at what you have done, you stupid idiot!" she shrieked, whacking Arlington across the face with her fan.
What the...!?
I jumped from my chair, grabbing her around the wrist to stop her from slapping him again. Arlington, the personification of butler composure, hardly flinched. He only took a step backwards to get out of reach and even managed to balance the tray without spilling any tea or milk. I, however, lost my temper.
"That's enough!" I growled. I was raised to be a gentleman but—Maker forgive me!—that very moment I could hardly control myself. It took all the willpower I could muster not to slap her. "What is wrong with you? He didn't do anything to you. Nor did your maid and yet you threw your chamber pot at her this morning. Ever since you have moved in you terrorize the staff, especially the elves, in an utterly malicious manner."
"Are you daft?! Let me say it again: I'm the one in charge now!" Goldanna hissed, her face contorted with hatred and contempt as she tried to pull free from my grasp. "I give orders. I don't receive them. Not anymore. Finally I can get what I deserve. Finally I get noticed, finally I am of importance. The servants need to learn to respect me."
"Have you ever considered a more friendly approach?" I wondered. "Okay, stupid question. Forget I asked." Tiredly I rubbed my face. I couldn't allow her to mistreat the servants any longer. I should have put an end to this the first time she attacked an elven kitchen girl. Her hatred for elves knew no limit. For many elves were lesser beings—Maker, even I hadn't cared much about them before Suri came into my life—but Goldanna, she loathed them with all her heart and soul. I didn't understand until Mrs. Couldry explained it to me. And afterwards I still wasn't any wiser...
"Some humans—although they never would consciously admit it—sense they aren't the pride of the Maker's creations," Mrs. Couldry had said, making herself comfortable in the rocking chair on her porch while I crawled around on all fours and weeded her vegetable garden. That was right after Slim's funeral. I had felt so damn guilty I paid Mrs. Couldry a visit and asked her if I could do anything for her. Anything. After that offer I hardly could decline her request to weed her garden, right? "All that is left for them is to elevate themselves by exercising a pride based on something as profane as their race," Mrs. Couldry went on. "Don't you pull up my carrots, son. Weeds only!"
"I've hand-weeded the monastery garden for years!" I sulked. "When I hadn't been scrubbing pots, that is."
"Now that you mention it, there are some pots that desperately need cleaning," Mrs. Couldry remarked. What the...!? "You're such a charming young man, giving an old lady a hand. Or two," she cooed suffocating any protest I might have wanted to utter. "Now, where was I?" Thoughtfully she tapped her ladle against her chin. ""Ah, yes. It's nothing the humans have achieved, nothing they could ever fail to be, and thus the easiest way to suffocate the realization of being the losers of this society."
"Yeah, well, I feel like a complete loser all the time and still don't shove people around," I growled, pulling at an especially restive weed. "I will change things..."
"You won't," Mrs. Couldry cut me short.
"But... I am king!"
"You cannot declare the elves equal without provoking riots," Mrs. Couldry lectured me. She took a sip of tea, her ladle resting in her lap. "The nobility keeps themselves in power by stoking up the hatred against the elves. That way the poor do not turn against their oppressors but rather against those even poorer than they are. All their frustration and anger finds an outlet in a pogrom every now and then. It's vicious, but that way this society is kept in balance. You cannot break that cycle simply by giving the elves more rights without making the life of everybody better. What you need is a complete renovation."
"So there's nothing I can do?" I muttered in utter frustration.
"All in good time, son," Mrs. Couldry chuckled. "For now, there are some pots waiting to be scrubbed."
Sigh.
Anyway, back to the Goldanna-hitch. I still thought it to be a joke but, yeah, I was king and thus responsible for my... um... people. So I had to stop her. Somehow. I mean, she was what Mrs. Couldry called 'the globules of grease floating on the soup.' For most of her life she had been part of the 'human weed'—Mrs. Couldry's words, not mine—yet she now treated anyone 'beneath' her with malice. She was high and mighty now but she seemed to have forgotten where she came from. Or she was just a bitch in general. Whatever, she was one of my many problems—but this one, at least, I think I could resolve.
"I'm only going to say this once, Goldanna, so you'd better listen closely," I said with my best kingly voice. "Should you ever again misbehave toward the staff, I will cast you out from this castle."
Pulling her hand free, Goldanna just snorted, completely unimpressed by my intervention. "Do you think I'm stupid? You can't tell me anything. You need me. You will give me what I want or I will tell your noble friends that I don't know anything about the king being your father."
Oh, now she was trying to blackmail me? Charming. All my life I had wished for a family. Never has the saying 'Be careful what you wish for' rung more true.
"I don't think you are stupid," I said softly. It was time to take off the velvet gloves. "I know you are."
"What did you just say!?" Goldanna shrieked, her eyes narrowed to slits. I ducked my head when she threw the tea pot at me. Arlington caught it with utmost efficiency. "They offered me coin, they did. I tell everybody you aren't the king's son and you're doomed." she smirked nastily.
I smiled back at her. "When I was born, the high and mighty in Redcliffe paid you and sent you away. But your money didn't last long. So you returned for more and they ran you off. What makes you think it would be different this time?"
"They'll make me Bann of... something," Goldanna hissed defiantly.
My smile grew wider. I really didn't feel like smiling, more like vomiting. I so hated this kind of game but by now I had learned how to play it. Kinda. Most rules still eluded me, but Goldanna was far from a worthy opponent. "Take their money," I cooed, my voice deep and smooth. "Tell your lies to everybody who wants to listen. You're right, I would lose everything I have—but so would you. Once I was gone, you'd be of no use to them anymore. You'd go back to washing linens and kissing your customers' arses—that is, if they let you live at all."
Goldanna opened her mouth, closed it again, reopened it, and finally settled on pressing her lips to a thin line. She clenched her jaws so tightly I could hear her teeth crunch.
Gotcha!
Returning to the sofa, I took a sip of tea as if we had been talking about nothing more important than the weather, leaned back and crossed my legs as I regarded Goldanna with a soft smile. It was pretty hard to suppress the urge to yell at her, but really, it was worth the effort. "You will pay for your own debts and budget your monthly payment," I informed Goldanna matter-of-factly. "I will find a house for you and your family and you will gratefully accept my choice. Until then, you are my guest and thus will treat me and anybody in my service with respect. That also applies to the elven servants. That means first you will pay Mrs. Couldry a visit in the kitchen and apologize for insulting her dead son." Goldanna had thrown quite a fit about the matter of Slim's funeral. He died protecting Rori and me—of course I would pay him my last respects. Personally. And I would compensate Mrs. Couldry for her expenses. Only a complete dick would have left her alone on that matter. Unfortunately, I was surrounded by a crowd of complete dicks. You cannot imagine how many nobles and people chose to complain about my decisions. "Do I make myself clear?"
That look on her face. Priceless.
"You will regret this," Goldanna pressed through gritted teeth.
"You will regret this, your Majesty." Yeah, I know. I just couldn't resist, okay?
"Your Majesty." Goldanna sounded as if she was choking on the words.
"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" I grinned. Goldanna grunted some incomprehensible reply. Oh, she was hopping mad. Two weeks and not a trace of the assassin. The way Goldanna glared at me, he soon would find himself unemployed. "Arlington will show you out," I dismissed her and off she stormed, knocking Rori off her feet and the sheets of paper, files, and letters she carried out of her hands when they collided in the doorway.
"Get out of my way, tart," Goldanna hissed and hurriedly added "Please" when I went "Tsktsk!" Maker, I was starting to really enjoy this. My first foray into sibling rivalry. Awesome!
"Whoa! What was that?" Rori asked, picking herself and the scattered papers up.
"I've started an empirical study on the reason for fratricide." I deadpanned as I knelt down beside her to give her a hand.
"Don't you have enough people wanting to kill you?"
"What can I say, I'm a danger seeker." I shrugged and offered a lopsided grin. I didn't really know on what terms we were after our last ... um... encounter. Ever since Slim's death, everything had happened so very fast. I hadn't seen Rori often during the last two weeks. She was busy with her Arling, I was busy staying alive, and when we happened to be together there were other people around. We didn't get any chance to sort our post-lamppost-licking relationship out. "Tax calculations?" I sighed, quickly scanning the files. And there I had hoped she had come here to see me. "You take this ruling-business quite seriously. I haven't gotten to see you much lately—despite you still living in the palace." The darkspawn had destroyed the Kendell's estate—much to Rori's delight. She couldn't have endured moving in after the horrors she had experienced there thanks to Howe. And unlike Vaughan, Rori wasn't keen on rebuilding it quickly. "Ugh... I didn't mean to sound that sullen," I apologized. "You're a great Arlessa."
"I try the best I can. Time will tell about my greatness," Rori sighed, sorting her papers before handing them to me.
"More paperwork! Be still my beating heart!"
"I have a few ideas about forming trade unions within Ferelden and with foreign traders," Rori said giddily. And then she just crossed her legs, getting comfortable on the floor, to explain her plans to me. Her knee touched mine, her fingers brushed against mine as she showed me her papers. I could smell the freshness of verbena on her, feel the warmth of her body when she leaned in. For days I hadn't been so close to her. I hardly managed to pay attention, distracted and awestruck by her spirit, her determination and cleverness and—alright, alright, I admit it!—her heaving bosom. Her excitement was infectious. I was convinced before she even began explaining her idea to me.
She used her family's trade connections with Orlais and Antiva—her brother and uncle had quickly forgotten about their grudge when they got wind of a deal that could earn them a whole lot of money—and her knowledge of seafaring combined with a clever business sense. The investments she suggested made sense—even to me—and would help with refilling the treasury and rebuilding the city and kingdom. "I have some meetings with merchants from Orlais and Antiva tomorrow... and I would like you to accompany me."
"Whoa! Rori, this is your baby," I encouraged her with a proud smile. "I don't know anything about that kind of business! You don't need me there. You're perfectly capable of handling that yourself." I handed the files back to her. Well, I tried. She wouldn't take them, though. Instead, Rori hemmed and hawed and beat around the bush until I told her to spit it out already.
"Well," she muttered, blushing a deeper shade of crimson. "People believe I only rule this Arling because..." Her voice dropped to a hushed whisper. "... I spread my legs for you..."
"That's not true!" I growled.
"Isn't it?" Rori asked, cocking her head to one side as she regarded me thoughtfully.
"Of course it isn't!" I snapped indignantly, my face as red as hers. "I... you are my..." Now it was my turn to hem and haw and stammer until I finally lamely settled on "... my friend."
"Right," she said and didn't sound too happy. She avoided looking at me as she went on matter-of-factly. "Well, some men... not all of them... but some think it's easy to get into my knickers. So they expect certain... accommodations..."
"They... what!? Those blasted bastards...!" My seething anger turned into shocked realization. "You... you don't believe I expect anything from you, do you?"
"I don't know what to believe, Alistair," she admitted meekly.
"So you've been avoiding me? You used your work as an excuse as not to see me?" I muttered.
"No!" She shut her mouth quickly, wringing her hands in exasperation. "Not intentionally. Did I really seem like I was avoiding you?" I must have looked really hurt. "I'm sorry, Alistair. I didn't mean to accuse you. This is all so overwhelming and new to me. I'm scared..."
I gently pressed my index finger to her lips to shush her. The mistress thing had been Rori's idea, but she was young and vulnerable and still hadn't fully recovered from the torment Howe had put her through. She was recovering but she had relapses—just like me. Every now and then I was overwhelmed by moments of extreme guilt that drove me back to Suri's grave. "I... Listen, I don't know for sure what I feel, but I cannot deny I have grown very fond of you. When we first met, I didn't believe I would feel anything ever again. But here you are and you make me... it's so overwhelming... I miss you when you're not around. You're my best friend... my only friend... and more... But one day I will have to marry and... I don't know if I could handle another heartache, but I don't have the strength to send you away. I do not want to send you away. I want you here with me..."
I didn't get to explain any further what I didn't understand myself. For Rori, it seemed enough. She put her index finger to my lips, just as I had done with her before. With a sad smile she whispered: "I know I can't expect a happily ever after. That's not meant for me. So I'll take the happy as long as it lasts." Thus said she just grabbed me by the front of my shirt and kissed me. Hesitantly at first, but once she makes up her mind Rori never does things halfheartedly. There was so much more in her kiss than raw lust. I tasted her tender sadness and her deep affection. Her desperate longing mingled with her shattered hopes, her shy trust and hurtful jealousy. It was all there in her kiss, a chaotic turmoil of emotions reflecting my own.
Rori was pretty, passionate, full of spirit, clever, vulnerable, and yet strong. She was blunt and shy and—oh Maker's Breath! She was here with me and her soft lips tasted of sage, fresh and cool and spicy. She was such a cute, sweet girl with a liking for tangy, rather masculine scents, reflecting her strength. There was more to this little imp that met the eye. And now here I was kissing her with growing passion, all these fuzzy warm feelings included. It was... scary and... amazing all at the same time.
Disaster or happiness, I didn't know where I was heading, but I wouldn't go on that journey alone. It very much felt like when Suri and I had first left the Korcari Wilds after Flemeth had rescued us, a mixture of uncertainty and hope.
"Ahh, the little imp attends upon the king," a voice next to us slurred. Jumping apart we found Zevran leaning against the doorframe. That sneaky bastard! "You think that's where the phrase 'happy as a king' comes from?" he wondered, bending down to pick up some of Rori's still scattered papers. Rori and I, our cheeks burning, quickly returned to collecting the rest of the sheets.
"It certainly doesn't originate from all the attempts on my life," I grumbled.
"Alas, yes, very unfortunate indeed that all five guards that were arrested the day of Anora's death were murdered in their cells at Fort Drakon," Zevran mused. He scanned the paper he had picked up before returning it to Rori. "A neat handwriting and a remarkably strong signature for such a little girl," he observed. "I would have bet you drew little hearts or flowers instead of the dot on the i. Ah, to err is human—and, seldom, elven." Turning to me he added merrily: "Your opponents are one step ahead no matter what you do."
"More like a mile ahead," Rori snorted. "We fish in muddy waters and all we ever get is the small guppies—never the big nasty sharks."
"Ah, now that you mention waters," the elf exclaimed, cheerfully rubbing his hands. "The man who murdered the guards was found today."
"Let me guess: he's dead as a doornail," I said sarcastically. "Did he possibly drown?"
"How did you know?" Zevran wondered.
"I have a sixth sense," I deadpanned. "Who was it?"
"The torturer. You remember him? Bald guy with a predilection for kinky toys? Children found him floating face down in the river this morning." Zevran helped himself to biscuits and tea. "There are traitors everywhere. How can you still sleep well, Alistair, my endangered friend?" he asked, mouth full.
"I can't," I admitted gloomily. I hadn't slept well ever since I had become a Grey Warden, but duty and pride had kept me going. Later I had endured for Suri and after her death, booze became my remedy. Now I couldn't even numb myself. I had to stay wary and my Grey Warden sense unfortunately only worked for darkspawn. It wasn't a general evil-o-meter.
"They'll stop at nothing," Rori pointed out the obvious.
"At least they haven't made an attempt on my life for the last two weeks," I sighed. "Mrs. Couldry suspects they wait for the outcome of the investigation about my heritage. They strive to get rid of me officially."
"The result is the same," Rori snorted. "You don't believe they would let you get away alive, do you?" She collected her papers. "Don't forget about tomorrow's business meetings. Someone has to take this ruling business seriously. As long as we can, we should try to do our best for this kingdom."
"What? You're leaving? But you've only just arrived! When will I see you again?" I pouted. The moment she had strolled in my day had begun to look a whole lot brighter. Rori was all I was looking forward to all day long. Well, Rori and Mrs. Couldry's incredible cheese sandwiches. The old lady now worked as my chief cook... I hadn't even hired her. She had just shown up the day Anora died and within ten minutes after her arrival she had assumed the supreme rule over the kitchen. A few hours later she held control over the whole staff. Now I had tomato vines in pots on my balcony and chicken running around in the palace gardens that Mrs. Couldry had occupied for her vegetables...
"Soon," Rori promised, giving me a little peck on the cheek.
"How soon is soon?" I whined, giving her my best abandoned puppy imitation. I missed her. Not just the lamppost-licking activities but all the other things we did when we were together.
Rori couldn't help but smile. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me for real. "Tonight. After dinner."
"Don't waste your time," Zevran called after her when she left. "Our royal friend still has to find himself a wife and you, I am told, are not anywhere on his list."
"What was that for?" I snapped angrily. Lately I quite easily lost my temper. Especially when it was about mine and Rori's... agreement. Everybody and their dog had an opinion, most of all Eamon and Isolde. All I wished for was to be left alone and allowed some privacy.
"What was what for?" Zevran asked with feigned innocence.
Oh that blasted elf!