Kakashi couldn't believe how close he'd come to fucking Sakura up.
He was a mite alarmed by how much he'd wanted to rip her apart. And he could too, his physical strength was like that of his father. Without effort or remorse he could rip a person's body literally in two. Could grab their arms and legs and pull them right off. Could crush their skulls with one hand- Could crush them and kill them like bugs.
His lips curled back from his teeth under his mask in a silent snarl as he thought about some things while he ran across the rooftops towards his home.
He hated the fact that he could do that. Don't get him wrong it was a useful thing. But just because one could do something didn't mean that one should.
He for instance had grown up a majority of his life isolated because of this particular gift-curse. His childhood had been hell because of it. If not for the years and years of training Minato and his father had put him through- He might have actually killed Sakura back there and proved everyone in the village right about him.
That he was inhuman and abnormal. That he was nothing but a mindless killing machine.
He sped up. The sudden burst of speed tearing tiles and shingles from the roofs he ran across. Not that he cared any. He just wanted to get home, explain to Naru that he hadn't been trying to hurt her, take his punishment and maybe lock himself in his bedroom closet for an hour or two to hide in shame for nearly losing his head and hurting someone.
After all it wasn't like Sakura knew much about him. Sure she'd known him for years but she didn't really know know him. All she'd knew was what she'd heard in those damnedable-heart wrending-life wrecking-horrible- rumors.
He felt something wet slip down his face and soak into his mask and made an irritated sound. Goddamn it! Now he was starting to cry!
He skidded across the roof he was currently on and had to dig in his heels just to stop. And furiously wiped at his face, trying to erase all traces of his distress. He didn't want to look like less of a man to anyone that might randomly pass by. He stood there for the longest time trying to regain control over his rampant emotions and before he started moving again used his chakar to create a small barrior between himself and everything else.
Because this was how he protected others from himself and some of his abilities. Because a barrior was all that kept a mere brush of his hand against Sakura's shirt- from laying the skin open to the bone and splattering her blood everywhere.
He leapt the final distance between his home and himself and landed deftly on the railing outside the living room window and peeked through the small opening in the curtains and saw that Naru was sitting at the kitchen table, wearing one of his shirts which hung well past her waist to her knees. The sleeves were rolled up a little bit and her tousled hair was sticking up in every direction and she was looking over some papers while sipping on coffee or tea.
He shifted a little bit and lowered his bottom onto the railing and sat there watching for several minutes when she finally set her drink and the paper she'd been looking at aside and called out, "Are you coming or going Kakashi?"
His lips quirked a little bit despite the earlier anger and hurt still churning in his gut. Good question. He thought wryly as he opened the window and slipped inside and quietly closed the window as Naru leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms and her legs and seemed to be waiting for him to say something.
"You're wondering about the jutsu I placed on you last night aren't you?" He asked while keeping his back to her. He didn't want to see the hurt or possibly even hatred on her face. The incident with Sakura was still bugging him.
"Well, I thought that instead of breaking a few of your things and screaming at you until my throat bleeds- I'd simply let you explain yourself and try to think of a reason why you would feel the need to place a jutsu on me in the first place."
Kakashi hummed and drew little circles around the windowsill with his index finger, still feeling a little too afraid to face her. "The reason is because of who I am, Naru. I was scared that you'd freak at some point about being with me and placed the jutsu on you so that you wouldn't feel anything but pleasure."
"You blocked out my ability to feel pain?" Naru asked in an incredulous tone, her expression disbelieving.
He turned then a frown on his face. "What? No! That isn't what I meant!" Kakashi said quickly, his tone just a little bit panicked.
"Then what exactly did you mean?" Kakashi opened his mouth to say something but then abruptly closed it again and gave her remorseful look. Naru sighed and let her head fall back against the chair and said in an impatient tone. "Start at the beginning Kakshi. We've got the time to kill."
"It's a really long story." He said lamely, apprently hoping that if he pointed this out that he wouldn't have to say more. It didn't work. Naru wanted answers no matter how unpleasant they might be.
"So?"
"I'm not really sure if I want to tell you everything." Kakashi said nervously as he fidgeted with one of his gloves.
"Tough. If you want me to understand you and your reasons then you haven't got a choice. There can't be secrets between us Kashi. Not if we want our marriage to work." Kakashi got a deer caught in the headlights look for a second then nodded his head and made his way to the couch and sank down on it feeling like he was a thousand years older than he actually was and reluctantly started talking.